For those of you on the English side of the pond, a "Hummer" is a large, wide, low-slung 4X4 built in the US of A. The off-roader first invaded American consciousness during the feature-length TV series known as The Gulf War. An Austrian immigrant (who parlayed his ability to lift heavy weights into something not unlike an acting career) led the civilian rush to transfer the H1 to the suburban theatre. GM's marketing radar detected the trend and annexed Hummer. This year, the General finally spat out a "civilian" Hummer: the H2.

Mechanically, the H2 is fundamentally similar to the military-spec H1. Both vehicles have astounding off-road capabilities. Both vehicles have been beaten with an ugly stick. Repeatedly. But what sets Hummer apart from all other American SUVs—aide from the fact that the Hummer was originally designed to help kill people—is the way GM has set out to sell the beast.

In their pursuit of world domination, The Artist Formerly Known as Mercedes Benz has lost its ability to make chronically over-engineered automobiles. In fact, Mercedes' build quality has sunk almost as fast their model range—and corporate portfolio— has risen. Where once owners delighted in a glove box lid's well-oiled precision, they're now happy when the damn thing stays closed, and doesn't fall off. Even the new SL betrays the rot; the sun visors adjusts with violent imprecision, threatening to remove owners' perfectly groomed nails. To a greater or lesser extent, every car rolling off current Mercedes assembly lines is a betrayal of their corporate heritage.

Don't get me wrong. It's not that Mercedes' standards are low, exactly. It's just that their cars aren't built nearly as well as they once were, both in absolute and relative terms. In other words, there isn't a single Mercedes that can lay a claim to their old motto "The best engineered car in the world". Taken as a whole, Mercedes models are often as good as, but never unassailably better than, the competition. Truth be told, if you want to buy a car with robust engineering that delights in both conception and operation, you're just as likely to find it in a Lexus or Audi showroom.