Albert Einstein posited that energy is equal to mass times the speed of light squared. The Mercedes Benz CL65 AMG provides a new definition: energy equals horsepower at the speed of light for squares. Relativity speaking, the big Merc’s top end is significantly less than the cosmic speed limit of 670,616,629.384 mph. Subjectively, that number feels about right. In fact, the CL 65 is Die Grosse Bang on wheels, an automotive event that warps the time space continuum to the point where I swear I wrote this review tomorrow.
Forget supercar silhouettes. Mercedes’ rolling physics lesson sports a style more befitting Bloomingdale's parking lot than a car collector’s humidity controlled habitation. The CL 65's gorgeous pillarless hardtop and rakish lines say trophy wife boulevardier like no other. To appease alpha males who dare spend $186k on what could be their wife's car, Affalterbach's Mercmeisters festoon the CL with AMG-spec trimmings and the requisite badge blingery ("V12 BiTurbo" adorns the fenders), slip on some split five-spoke wheels and drop the stance.
The CL 65’s cabin sees the standard CL's chips and goes all in. The iron-fisted beast stocks a plethora of solenoid-backed assistants: ventilated seats, navigation, keyless-go, power closing doors, etc. The model also brings Merc into the e-generation, complete with iPodability, remote electronic diagnostics, emergency door unlock and alarm notification, cell phone and satellite radio connectivity. There’s even a concierge button to hook you up with a human to explains how it all works.
All is not perfection, though. While the CL 65's doors, dash and parcel shelf are upholstered in hides naughtier than a Dormitron Bondage actress' wardrobe, and the thrones have more lateral support than sports coupes half its size (which is, let’s face it, all of them), the steering wheel is wrapped with a disappointing mix of vinyl and hard leather. The headlight's high-resistance rotary knob cracks into position like a realigned vertebra. The ten-speaker Bose stereo is mediocre, trumped by high-value sedan boom boxes. The CL's organic curves may thumb their nose at Mercedes’ austere heritage, but they'd also feel right at home in a Hyundai Sonata.
But it's so not a Sonata. The CL65 AMG is a 4750lb two-door with a twelve-pot twin-turbo motor with enough power (604hp) and torque (738 ft-lbs. @ 2 – 4000 rpm) to reverse the planet's rotation. With so much twist underfoot, the CL's luxo-coupe forward progress is infinitely serene; you can arrive at your destination without the slightest clue how you got there. Even with 35-series tires the CL 65 never crashes, thuds or thumps. Roll down all four windows for a big-bore hardtop coupe experience not available since the Nixon administration.
Depress your right shoe at anything more than quarter-throttle and the ESP traction control light starts blinking Morse code: your… license… is… in… grave… danger… The CL 65 AMG lays down the grunt like a big-block Chevelle on Mickey Thompsons. The stats say zero to sixty takes four point five second of your time, but the truth is you're gone almost before you start. Close the glass, get your speed on and the sound insulation, aerodynamics and massive weight remove all sensation of speed. A glance at the speedometer is your only indication that a police helicopter may be struggling to reach your 10-20.
Unfortunately, surrendering sackfuls of cash to your Mercedes dealer does not get you a "Get Out of Jail Free" card. Good thing, then, that the CL 65's dinner plate-sized cross drilled rotors scrub speed off Merc’s mega machine with eyeball popping confidence. Cornering Daimler’s turbo-tank is as easy as ABC (Active Body Control). Reasonably communicative steering and the aforementioned e-Nanny intervention keep death at bay through all but the tightest twisties. A Cayman S it ain’t, but the CL’s electro-hydro suspension and gummy Michelins provide enough grip to let you go fast enough to want to slow down in a hurry. And when those curves straighten out, the CL 65 is an unstoppable force.
Attention well-heeled sports car lovers: why brandish a scalpel when you can throw a sledgehammer? Ah, but which one? Mercedes offers several variations of blunt force trauma for one's two door hardtop lifestyle. There's the V8, the bigger V8, the blown V8 and two boosted V12’s. Aside from the usual AMG dot com bubble-style depreciation curve, the top-dog CL 65 makes a convincing case for itself. The choice rims have plenty of snob appeal and the extra turbo boost makes it the ideal car for Baby Zoomers with Adrenal Deficiency Disorder. Or a physics degree.
Gas prices and Middle Eastern woes aside….it’s great to be a part of the Golden Age of automotive performance. Just the fact that we have such a plethora of 3,4, and 500 HP vehicles to choose from is amazing…and that the AMG V12 cars can actually stand out in such a fast crowd is quite an achievement. Furthermore, 738 ft lbs can become 840 with just a Renntech ECU reprogram.
Sure…the CL600 is 90% as fast with a $50k discount, but real world trading prices for these cars are far below sticker….esp for one with a few miles on it.
Now if they’d just go and make a 4matic version….we’d have a budget Bugatti on our hands.
I need to win the lottery NOW!!!!!
“In fact, the CL 65 is Die Grosse Bang on wheels, an automotive event that warps the time space continuum”
If it were any heavier, it would implode and form a black hole. My take on Mercs continues to be: all of the disadvantages of a truck, without the ability to haul pieces of drywall.
“My take on Mercs continues to be: all of the disadvantages of a truck, without the ability to haul pieces of drywall.”
Well my take on trucks is…all the weight of a CL65, but without the ability to be whisked across the country at felonious speeds in utter serenity while having your butt massaged and cooled. ;-)
I’ve always thought this a beautiful car. The new one, not even close. My theory: with their big coupe MB likes to alternate between ugly and gorgeous to keep things interesting.
Oddly, when talking about the new CL the latest Automobile Magazine actually has a photo of the old one.
never been a fan of MB…i see one of these about once a week. we go to lunch in the same complex…it have parked next to it, it has driven past me, i have even said hi to the owner. but it took weeks for me to realize what i was looking at. they look like every other MB out there save some badges, trim and wheels. no doubt it has amazing capabilities…but its boring. The lesser SLs are pretty plentiful in my area, this car blends right in. some may like that, but if your spending +$180k there are so many other cars out there that get the job done, and look a lot better doing it. This car has “Corvette-itus” its an amazing performer, but looks so mundane that it doesn’t get the respect it deserves.
the car screams “Im off to the golf course” rather then “Im off to the track”
I know the car is amazing, but honestly, for the price I’d rather have the Bentley Continental GT. Sure, it doesn’t have as much power, but its more distinctive, and has a much better interior.
Jon.
Not everybody wants to be stared at.
the ppl that spend $180,000 on a car do…
You would have to be insane to spend $180,000 on this car. It looks just like the CL500 that costs half. It depreciates faster than its 0-60 time. Worst of all, it isn’t any faster than the CL600 that costs $50K less because of its traction limitations.
I was insane enough to purchase this car in 2004 and was fortunate enough to pick it up in Affalterbach and drive it in its element- the Autobahn. The nice folks at AMG were kind enough to lighten my wallet by an additional $6,000 and raise the speed limiter to 188. I enjoyed this car for a week and promptly sold it upon my return.
I saw a guy in a CL65 with the traction control disabled do the most incredible burnout of all time.
yeah, he’s rich, but he was getting new tires anyhow, so he just stood on both peddles and let the smoke billow.
He wound up needing new rims…
I actually have a nice burnout Vid on the CL65, thanks to its leadfoot owner and the pro photographer working for us this time around…thank you, Alberto!
To say this car accelerates, brakes, corners and pampers like nothing else in the world is the understatement of the century.
“Depress your right shoe at anything more than quarter-throttle and the ESP
traction control light starts blinking Morse code: your… license… is…
in… grave… danger…”
Hilarious.
I can’t afford one of these things, but they sure are fun to read about.
Sajeev,
We have to try and record it again when I have better hardware and the owner is about to replace his rubber. Lets hope his rims stay intact thought! It was a pleasure, let me know when you need photography again.
-Alberto
Nice review Sajeev. It makes me want one… but I’d hate to be mistaken for a trophy wife.
Sajeev,
YouTube. Put it on Youtube.
Please.
I see the line of AMG Mercedes vehicls as great status symbols for lazy rich guys who don’t want to (or can’t) drive a car with a real transmission. If you are going to make vehicles and call them high performance, at least offer an option for a clutch pedal. If you want to drive a slushbox, just get a CL500.
Well, I can’t afford it either, so it’s great to dream and read. My guess is that super-luxury buyers settle on their next car without much comparison. Not being in that elite group — and listening to Jay Shoemaker — I’m wondering about the alternatives. ImageWIS mentioned a Bentley. Thought of that, too.
On the other end of the spectrum, I wondered whether the Maserati Quattroporte wouldn’t feel just grand and decadent around me, with the money saved deposited on a Chris-Craft Corsair. Or, eh, just saved.
sandiegan: I love a good manual transmission. I refuse to drive anything without. But I have to admit, when you have 800+ horsepower on tap, one slight mistake and serious damage could result. The CL, or any other car like its kind don’t have manual transmissions for lazy rich guys. They have automatic transmissions because engineers know thats the best way to protect the transmission, engine, and drivetrain from the daily abuse of the requirements of a daily driver. If I bought a v10 M5 I wouldn’t want to drop clutch because of a slippery foot and see engine cylinders blow through my bonett!
Tyler D: Alberto’s on the job, it’ll be on YouTube soon.
Shoemaker: How did it feel on the autobahn?
Although most of us will never be able to afford these cars it is sure fun reading about them. I’d say the horsepower wars are back but nobody would believe me.
Amazingly well written article.
Well, I happen to know the owner of this auto, and let me tell you……..he needs to get his ass to Dallas so I can show him how to drive it……….plus my Toyota is boring as hell.
P.S. – 4matic is for pussies……..oh, and watch out for trees.
:-P
Sajeev, your brother confessed to loaning you his car on mbworld and said you drooled all over his seats. I need to find a brother who loves cars as much as he seems to.
Jay –
I’ve known the Doctor since we were 11 – to say he’s crazy about cars is an understatement. And if anything Sajeev is actually crazier about them. It’s really sad, because in person they look normal.
:-)
Jay, what can I say? My brother’s generosity and local automotive connections does wonders. It makes the absence of press cars in my garage feel like no big deal. :-)
The video is on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gVaRuJudXc
Oh yeah, that was a nice one. From the outside, that V12 sounds pretty mean for an exhaust system with two turbos, two resonators, and two mufflers hushing everything down.
Not to mention two catalytic convertors. I think the mufflers and resonators gotta go…then it would sound wicked, and probably pick up a bit of power as well. The turbos, cats and 300 lbs of insulation should still keep it civilized while cruising.