As much as I enjoy vigorous debate, I abhor pseudo-science. From The Bermuda Triangle to past life regression, I just can’t deal. If the subject matter in question is faith-based like, say, a talking salamander's role in the development of Mormonism, I’m good. But the moment an aspiring conversationalist tries to deploy scientific explanations for a fundamentally irrational belief system– aliens sucking up Air Force planes from the Gulf Of Mexico for anal experimentation or Joan of Arc reborn as a 42-year-old housewife in Hackensack, New Jersey– I’m out. So when I read that insurance quote provider Lee Romanov says your star sign affects your chances of having an automobile accident, I just had to ring her up. Yes, it's been that kind of day.

When I was growing up in South Africa, Cadillacs were gaudily chromed boats adorned with absurd fins. I thought they were stupid. I simply couldn’t reconcile Caddy's grandiose luxury land yachts with the small, sensible cars of my youth. As my horizons widened, as I learned about art, décor and design; I eventually “got it." I understood why enthusiasts waxed nostalgic about the great Caddies of yore, even though we saw precious few models in my corner of The Dark Continent.

In the late 70s, Dutch traffic planner Hans Monderman experienced the kind of insight that gets people sent to an asylum. ”Let’s eliminate all traffic signals and signs and remove the divisions between the road and sidewalk where cars and people interact. There will be fewer accidents and traffic flow will improve.” Monderman’s approach seemed completely radical: roads that seem dangerous are safer than roads that seem safe. The concept was a smack in the face of convention.

A blogger recently concluded that The Truth About Cars (TTAC) is the exact opposite of traditional blog. Our posts offer crazed and demented commentary– which our readers counter with careful and well-reasoned analysis. Yes, well, TTAC is certainly home to the most intelligent and engaged readership in the biz. I am constantly astounded by our readers’ wisdom, passion and insight. While TTAC is dwarfed by the mainstream automotive media, this is the place where crucial ideas are stress tested by an informed audience. I can not thank you enough for your contribution to TTAC’s editorial development. Now click on the damn Michelin ad. And listen up: we need your help.

I was born in 1965, entering the world at more or less the same time as the Porsche 911 and Ford Mustang. I learned to tune engines with a timing light and my ear. I look back nostalgically on the days when I could lift a hood and identify most of the parts within. Given the modern car’s complexity, it’s difficult for me to agree that this is the “golden age of motoring.” While I’m not comfortable with this chronological appellation, the argument can still be made that there’s never been a better time to be on the road.  

Honda salesman? More like “order taker.” The new Civic Si sedan is guaranteed to sell itself, no “product specialist” needed. After all, the stock version is already a hit. Honda can legitimately claim they’re moving them by the boatload– even if they’re assembled on Ohio acreage. And Si coupes have always done well– even when they haven’t been well done. So, offering a four door variant with a sprinkle of go-faster and look-sharper for a few more bucks is a no-brainer. Say, is that a commission check in your pocket or are you just happy you’re not selling Isuzus?

With cars and trucks piling up, it’s looking like the Daimler/Chrysler merger/takeover is on the skids. Mergers are always tricky in the auto business. It can work– if both sides put forth an effort. Unfortunately the DCX mess looks rather familiar…

About three years ago, GM CEO Rick Wagoner made a critical decision about his company’s products. Rather than radically revamp The General's full-sized SUV’s or divert serious time, energy and money into small car development, Rabid Rick decreed that GM should rush through a “refresh” of their current Tahoe, Yukon, Suburban and Escalade. At the precise moment that these new[ish] four-speed gas guzzlers arrived, safety, environmental and fuel prices whacked the genre. Strangely, both pundits and PR flacks were nonplussed. These things are good. They’ll sell. How wrong can you be? Oh, I’m sorry. Didn’t you hear? The GMT900’s are a flop.

I recently attended a product launch for a domestic automaker’s new vehicle. I soon found myself in the usual spot. Above me: the world’s most soothing shower nozzle. Below me: a four-star restaurant serving up the most delectable of Japanese fusion cuisine. While I’m not averse to junketeering’s sybaritic attractions, one question kept ringing in my mind: when? When will Ford realize that it’s time for the pleasure to stop?

Amory Lovins makes his living studying energy use and efficiency. According to the physicist and cofounder of the Rocky Mountain Institute environmental think tank, the modern automobile uses just one percent of its energy to move its occupant hither and yon. The number is shockingly small, and it may point to big changes for future cars.

T’was a few weeks ‘til Christmas
And all through Detroit,
The car makers were hustling,
But they weren’t too adroit.

They all had such high hopes,
To end up the year,
With a good bottom line
To bring Christmas cheer.

Whenever I show up at my weekly poker game, the boys (being boys) are always interested in what I'm driving. How much? How fast? Not this week. This week, all my friends piled into the driveway and laughed. Can you blame them? Ford's new Expedition EL is so large I had to park it diagonally to keep its butt off the street. The wheels come up to my thigh. One 6'5" friend couldn't see the roof. Remember King Kong Bundy? He now wears dubs.

For the second time in less than two years, I’ve been relegated to rental car Hell. My normal ride is busy recovering from a rear-end encounter initiated by a young driver in iffy conditions. Previously on “This Is Not Your Beautiful Car,” I sampled one of the last of the great V8 Interceptors– I mean, the Pontiac Bonneville. It was so large– on the outside– that I was constantly checking the rear-view mirror for Tomcats auguring-in for a landing. On the inside, it was plush and chock-full of gadgets. But it was also more cramped than an Olympic swimmer after a seven course meal. This time ‘round I got sentenced to an 05’ Taurus.

November’s sales figures are out, and FoMoCo’s treading unfamiliar waters. For the first time since, well, ever, Dearborn’s darlings find themselves off the sales podium. The General, Toyota and both parts of the DCX German-American hybrid surpassed last year’s sales totals. Despite pre-Christmas gains north of the border, Ford’s U.S. sales sank nearly 10%. Their declining market share dropped them into fourth by total sales volume. “This is an area, frankly, of disappointment,” George Pipas, Sales Analysis Manager for Four’d pronounced. “We had our sights set higher.” 

Germans don’t like the phrase “assisted suicide.” The preferred term is aktive Sterbehilfe (active assistance in dying). Apparently, it's not a crime. Euthanasia is a crime. Assisted suicide is not. However you slice it, it's clear that this “activity” is not unknown in Germany’s corporate culture. While DCX’ leadership keeps insisting they want to nurture the Chrysler group back to health, they seem Hell bent on helping it meet its demise.