Congratulations Cadillac. The GM brand scooped first place in BusinessWeek’s first-ever ranking for the best provider of automotive related customer service. Overall, the wreathed ones placed third, surpassed only by insurance company USAA and Four Seasons Hotels and Resorts. From its lofty perch near the top the elite twenty-five, Cadillac can look down upon such notable companies such as Starbucks (tenth), Southwest Airlines (thirteenth), and Apple (eighteenth). Caddy’s kudos offer beleaguered GM supporters a much needed glimmer of hope.

When DaimlerChrysler unveiled Project X, the media was abuzz. Chrysler’s turnaround strategy included eliminating thousands of jobs, slashing vehicle production by a quarter and mothballing its Newark factory. More ominously, the plan pledged to consider “any option in order to find the best solution for both the Chrysler Group and DaimlerChrysler." To tell the truth, DaimlerChrysler’s “Recovery and Transformation” document should have stated the management’s desire to explore “any option to pump and dump Chrysler.” Those alternatives are gradually coming into focus. First, here’s what’s not going to happen…

There I was, having fun, fun auf die autobahn, when nature called. Somewhere southeast of Stuttgart, I took the wrong exit and found myself outside the gates of Audi’s Neckarsulm factory. A large sign proclaimed the brutally Bauhaus industrial complex ground zero for the German automaker’s R8 supercar. I was immediately convinced I was destined to park one in my garage. Of course, by then I’d been chasing R8 ownership for over three years. So, do good things come to those who wait?

Twenty-six summers ago I arrived in San Antonio, Texas. I quickly surmised that the pickup truck was River City residents’ favored mode of transport– preferably with an occupied gun rack. These pickup-driving Hill Country Texans worshiped at the altar of one of two churches: Chevy or Ford. Since those simple days of my youth, the rules of the game have changed. That community, so steeped in American pickup truck tradition, is now the production site for the all-new 2007 Tundra. Question: is Toyota’s big rig good enough to pry the keys out of the hands of F150, Silverado, and Ram-loving Americans?

At some point in the not-so-distant future, one or all of The Big 2.5 will go bankrupt. It will not be the end of American automaking. The company or companies involved will finally be free to jettison terminally ill brands, abandon onerous union contracts and trim their bloated dealer network. It will be a new dawn for the U.S. car industry. Or not. The same bureaucratic forces responsible for Detroit’s current decline and inevitable fall may continue to cling to power, until, like TWA, even the company name disappears into the mists of time. To avoid that ignominious end, management must use bankruptcy to change the 2.5’s culture. These are the principles they must live by.

New York City boasts the highest concentration of gargantuan rear wheel drive V8-powered cars in the country, 99% of which sit on Ford’s Panther platform. Still, in layout and public transit it may be the most European city in the U.S. But there’s nothing European about the way people drive in the city’s five boroughs. It’s like the Matrix – you can’t really be told what it is, you have to see it for yourself to understand. Let’s start with the rules.

The University of Iowa’s reputation for intellectual excellence lured my family away from Innsbruck (it sure as hell wasn’t the skiing). Despite the fact that my elementary school education was a lot less than enthralling, I decided to jump on the academic bandwagon. I threw myself into the study of all things automotive, harboring a secret hope that the University might award me an honorary degree in Autology.

Since the General Motors Death Watch began, GM employees, dealers and customers have emailed me their perspective on the General’s general degradation. Obviously, financial analysts are important (and confidential) contributors to this mix. While their info provides invaluable insight on the automaker’s slide into bankruptcy, their language can be daunting. So when I read this simple declarative statement in a recent investor briefing, I was shocked. “GM and Ford retail sales should continue their precipitous decline."

The Big 2.5 have always struggled with vehicles of the four-cylinder persuasion. A series of broken nameplates dating back to Omni, Vega, and Pinto highlights Detroit’s longstanding fear and loathing of Thinking Small. Now the 0.5 is attempting to renew its ardor with the Caliber, branding it a “world car” and exporting it to Europe. Unfortunately, the Caliber shows that bad Detroit habits are hard to break, firing blanks in this latest battle of the econobox wars.

News flash! The 2007 MINI looks like the 2006 MINI. As there wasn’t anything particularly wrong with the “old” model, BMW’s decision to leave things well enough alone shows welcome restraint. Well, almost. BMW’s added two extra inches to the new MINI– and we all know how meaningful two extra inches can be for guys (legroom!). But you’d be hard pressed to see any exterior effects– good or bad. So is it still all systems go for MINI’s V2 rocket, or does the new model (codenamed R56) prove that more is less?

If patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel, then death is the only refuge of a camera-craving road safety campaigner. As far as these well-meaning advocates are concerned, if a single roadside surveillance device saves a single life, then it’s fully justified. Never mind scientific distinctions between “speeding” and “inappropriate speed.” Never mind government studies that place red light running near the very bottom of the list of accident causation. Never mind concerns about the erosion of personal privacy. One life trumps all.

A recent post questioned the relative power of engineers and MBA’s in the automotive industry. A quick scan of corporate rosters reveals that the biz brains control most companies. The hierarchy makes sense; automaking is a business. Yes, but– whether their MBA’s came from Harvard, Yale, or Vinny’s School of Business and Mortuary Services in Hoboken, the “suits” should know that too much unsold inventory is a bad thing. As a corollary, continuing production as unsold inventory piles up is a very bad thing. As in fatal.

The Ford F150 is America’s best selling vehicle. The domestically produced full-size pickup truck is generally recognized as the class of the field. Unfortunately, nothing else Ford sells stateside achieves that standard– and Ford’s “showroom of the future” offers little hope. No wonder the company’s camp followers have turned their gaze upon FoMoCo’s European operations, where the S-Max people mover won the coveted Car of the Year award. Should The Blue Oval Boyz switch on their tractor beam?  

The automotive media have their hands full chronicling the slow motion train wreck known as The Big 2.5. But there's another pile-up in progress. Here in the States, Volkswagen of America (VWoA) has transformed itself from a highly profitable purveyor of mesmerizing motors to a struggling brand with an ugly, overpriced and unpopular lineup. To properly parse this fall from automotive grace, let's start with the Phaeton. 

Henry Ford knew a thing or two about motivation. “Enthusiasm is the yeast that makes your hopes shine to the stars,” Crazy Henry opined. “The grip of your hand, the irresistible surge of will and energy to execute your ideas.” Yes, well, Blue Oval morale is at an all time low. After watching Billy’s Boyz lose over $24k per second, faith in The Glass House gang is fading. Faced with a failing grade on an interim report and a Way Fordward that needs to be Fixed Or Repaired Daily, Mulally’s masses are about as enthusiastic as Dick Cheney’s hunting buddies.