Scared of car dealer scams? Detroit News writer John McCormick says chill. In an editorial entitled "Afraid of shopping for a car? Get over it;" McCormick chronicled his recent car buying experience. The automotive scribe claims it's no biggie; car dealers are populated by "courteous, knowledgeable and professional" sales staff. While we're all glad Mr. McCormick's had such a wonderful experience securing a new whip, the chances of anyone else emerging with similar satisfaction makes Powerball look like a safe bet.

If you had trouble figuring out GM's special offers, rebates, financing deals and incentives in the last post, fear not. It gets worse. Here's an email from a GM dealer. He calls the process "Figure It Out Before It's Over. "Fine print: good only in north central region, except Michigan, unless you live in the following counties… Loyalty programs available, but must have direct mail piece. So you ask the client if he's got one. If yes, where is it? If no, customer is pissed. Extra discount on interest rate for customer if dealer floorplans with GMAC. Extra rebate if old invoiced unit. Different amount depending on date of invoice. Tiered dealer cash by level of achievement toward objective. Different residuals if reg cab, ex cab, 2wd, 4wd, leather, cloth, 1/2 ton, 3/4 ton, manual vs. auto, V6 vs. V8. Riddle me this Batman: What incentive do you get on a GM car? Answer: it really doesn't matter because when you finally figure it out, it's changed anyway." 

Why do buff books and big sites feel compelled to be a cheering section for the home team? When these guys catch a glimpse of a Detroit concept car they like, the gloves they took off for their reviews of home-grown product are put under lock and key. And out comes the brass section. Paul Eisenstein over at The Car Connection has tested not one but three FoMoCo ain'tgonnahappenmobiles. Obviously, there's not much there there– other than Ford designer Peter Horbury calling the Toyota Prius the Toyota Pious, albeit "impishly." (I guess he missed the memo on Ford's plug-in hybrid dreams.) So, has Ford green-lighted the Mustang-based Interceptor? "In the future, we have to go in a different direction," cautioned Horbury, adding that "especially with tight budgets," Ford can no longer afford many of these wild and wacky concepts. "We're not going to waste time and money showing something that has no chance of being put into production." Don't you just hate it when they play coy like that? 

A recent email from the increasing inconsolable Buickman (a.k.a. Jim Dollinger) had me shaking my head in disbelief. Buickman listed all the discounts available at your local GM store: AARP, GM Discount, Recent College Grad, Active Military, Olds Owner, Father who was a UAW Retiree, Owned Import Took Overnight Test Drive, Incremental Allowance, Bonus Cash and Matching Down payment. Our own Frank Williams says The General's also offering up to three percent against vehicle purchase on GM's Flexible Earnings credit card, special financing offers ranging from 0% to 4.9% and up to $5000 cash back (depending on the model and trim level). Oh, and don't forget regional deals. NOW how much would you pay for that Chevy Silverado? Hell if I know.

Back in the day, a discerning motorist rocking-up in a Mercedes Benz 300 SEL 6.3 was in no danger of encountering an equally-horsed "baby Benz." These days, the power-crazed pistonhead can purchase a 6.3-liter engine in any one of seven Mercedes body types. And while I'm sure an S-Class sedan has some fancy gizmos you can't buy in a C-Class, I'm not sure they're worth mentioning. But Mercedes' and its luxury competitors' slink downmarket IS worth examination. Are volume sales a form of luxury brand suicide? 

Fair disclosure: I wanted to love the Chevrolet Cobalt SS Supercharged (SS-S). My first car was America's Beetle: the Chevette. Watching the transplants take over the U.S. compact car market, I've always hoped The Big 2.8 would raise their game and kick some serious small car butt. To their credit, The General really swung for the fences with the SS-S. Unfortunately, it's game over; the Cobalt SS-S can't meet 2008 emissions regulations. As GM sends the Cobalt SS-S to the big dugout in the sky, is it love's labor lost or no big deal?

“This is another important step to strengthen our liquidity and provide resources to support our heavy investments in new products and technology.” And so General Motors' CEO Rick Wagoner heralded the sale of GM's Allison Transmission unit for $5.6b. Odd that. Allison has provided General Motors with new products and technology for eight decades, and billions upon billions of dollars in revenue. So is this another case of GM throwing its furniture into the fire to heat the house? You betcha.

Do ya have a hankerin’ for a cheap small car that can’t be satisfied by an offering from Korea, Japan, Europe or the good ‘ole US of A? Me neither. But Chrysler’s CEO thinks you– or someone– does. On July Fourth (no less), Tom LaSorda finally inked a deal with China’s Chery Automobile Company. As early as 2009, Chrysler could be offering Dodge-branded, Chery-manufactured subcompacts in the US and Europe. Target price: $7k. Too good to be true? You bet it is.

The June auto industry’s sales results are in. The numbers have sent shock waves throughout Detroit— a town that’s become increasingly familiar with seismic events. Although sales tend to slip slightly as the model year winds down, these figures are stimulating some serious hand-wringing amongst The Big 2.8. When you factor in/out fleet sales, the future looks bleak.

If cars were ordered by the foot, then the Ford Crown Victoria is exactly what you’d get if you walked into a Ford dealer and said “I’d like 17.6 feet of car please.” Other than length, Ford’s fleet-duty work horse has absolutely no outstanding features what-so-ever and very few features worth mentioning. Still, the Crown Vic and its panther playmates (the Mercury Grand Marquis and Lincoln Town Car) are perennial favorites among fleet buyers and, uh, fleet buyers. In fact, in anticipation of its removal from the retail field of battle, the Ford website doesn’t even list the Crown Victoria under “passenger cars.” Should they?

General Motors is a trash talker. The automaker brags about future show-stoppers, unveils concept vehicles with a sly wink (knowing full well they're stuck in development Hell) and offers press hacks "preview" drives of half-baked green machines. No GM brand has been more abused by these dishonest "you just wait" promises than Buick. The 2004 Velite was a glimpse of an alternate universe, where Buick made perfect sense. And as far back as 2003, board-certified spin specialist Bob Lutz was busy proclaiming that Buick will be "an American Lexus." As if.

For over two years, we’ve been telling Detroit to wake-up and smell the homily: everything either grows or dies. We’ve admonished them to adapt and evolve. This they haven’t done. The Truth About Cars (TTAC) will continue to chronicle this slow motion train wreck until the last car derails, and beyond. Meanwhile, we’d be hypocritical if we didn’t follow our own advice. The truth is: we’re not growing. So we’re about to shake things up. Again.

Instead of holding down a “real” job and paying other professionals to maintain my lifestyle, I stay at home and do it all myself: rebuild old houses, deliver the children, grow our organic berries and fix the cars. One day, back in ’99, this shade-tree mechanic finally grew tired of wrestling with the Gordian knot of hoses and wires nestling underneath our fifteen-year-old Cherokee. When the Jeep’s headliner let go and draped me in rancid mouse fur, I’d had enough. 

There are only two reasons why anyone would buy a New Beetle convertible: a craving for cute or a need for nostalgia. Once you rule out these emotional drivers (so to speak), you're far better off in any number of more economical and practical machines. But that's OK, isn't it? Acquiring a Ferrari isn't exactly a rational decision. So analyzing the New Beetle's desirability comes down to this: does it suck enough to put off the retro- fashionistas?

Earlier this week, the European Union rubber-stamped the DaimlerChrysler divorce. So that's it. Later this financial quarter, prefix and suffix will go their separate ways and Cerberus Capital Management will marry the battered bride. Overlooking the fact that Chryslerberus will soon be importing Chinese-built cars for their U.S. customers, the automaker plans a nationwide dealer party for the born-again "all-American company." With all that has– and hasn't– happened to Chrysler of late you have to wonder exactly what and why they're celebrating.