Well, it starts off predictably enough. The Scotsman links really expensive, really fast exotic cars and the death and destruction they wreak when it all goes "pear-shaped." We get the big numbers (a crash involving an £830k Bugatti Veyron), a celebrity connection (former world boxing champion Naseem Hamed's head-on collision in his paltry £320k McLaren Mercedes), a call from a responsible organization for graduated licenses for supercar operation (The IAM Motoring Trust) and then… ""These are ridiculous cars for wannabe jet pilots rather than people who need to get safely from A to B," declares Jenny Jones, The Mayor of London's road safety ambassador. "Some who buy these vehicles are clearly in need of either an advanced driving course or therapy." Either or? Anyway, call us irredeemable exotic car junkies, but that doesn't sound particularly ambassadorial to us. 

It makes no difference if it goes far. Aesthetically inspired by the architect who designed the Disney Concert Hall, a battery of Massachusetts Institute of technology students have almost kinda created the CityCar. The fact that their machine can't travel more than ten miles without a recharge hasn't stopped Fairfax DC Supervisor Sharon S. Bulova from exploring their possibilities. According to The Washington Post, Bulova thinks CityCars would be kinda neat for zipping back forth from Metro stations to home, work or the mall. And hey, why not make it one of those swipe-and-go deals? Unfortunately, fellow bureaucrats can't get their heads 'round the idea of a CityCar sharing the sidewalk with "speeding bicyclists , slow-moving children walking their pets and oblivious joggers listening to music on headphones." I know! Why don't we encourage people to walk to the station! Remember? Global warming and obesity are the twin scourges of our times.  

I heard it too: the dig at Honda in Chrysler's radio ads. As part of the spiel touting their new lifetime powertrain warranty, the announcer declared "Unlike some other rat-faced bastards (or something along those lines), we don't make lawn mowers, motorcycles or ATV's." To which Business Week writer David Kiley replies "Are you nuts? Honda is the premier engine company in the world. Ask owners of Honda cars, motorcycles, scooters, lawnmowers or generators how they feel about Honda and how much they trust those engines." More to the point, "Chrysler is advertising this at a time when its credibility is in serious question. It's latest products have fallen in quality, compared with previous models. It's losing money. It just brought in a notorious cost-cutter and b*** breaker in Bob Nardelli to hammer the operations into something that might be profitable. And you are taking shots at Honda?" Apparently so.

Helmut Becker is the former chief economist for BMW and author of "High Noon in the Automotive Industry." Normally, the German uber-beancounter cloaks his intellect in some of the most stolid prose ever offered outside of a text book (e.g. "The endogenous growth of the US automobile market… will remain predetermined exogenously by the macroeconomic / overall general economic conditions"). Speaking to Stern magazine, summarized for us by the just-auto [sub] editorial team, Becker was uncharacteristically brief about German automakers' immediate prospects: "The German manufacturers have gone for faster, heavier and more expensive. We are satisfied with high-end niches and think that we have beaten off all the competition with them." Becker believes the Germans automakers have driven down an evolutionary dead end, as the world turns to cheap, fuel efficient cars. And this they did because of hubris. "There are so many egomaniacs in the German automotive industry, who would sooner put pseudo race cars onto the road than take a leading role in developing new environmentally-friendly technologies." 

ConsumerAffairs.com has collected complaints from Toyota Prius owners regarding throttle control. One, a new Prius with 600 miles on the odometer, accelerated wildly while the owner was attempting to merge onto a busy interstate. On another occasion, the traction control system (itself another problem reported on the site) kicked in and the car accelerated. A third time the car refused to slow after passing another car. One Prius owner, an engineer, discovered that tapping the lever that disengages the cruise control solved the problem– even though the cruise control system was already turned off. Toyota denies any mechanical or software problem. They suggest that a wadded carpet may have caused a sticky go-pedal. 

What's killing the minivan? The Detroit News thinks it's sliding doors. Citing the sliding rear doors as the primary feature that distinguishes minivans from crossovers, they point out minivan sales are down 22 percent so far this year, while crossover sales are on the rise. Automotive marketer Wes Brown sees the sliding door as epitomizing the "less-exciting realities of minivan ownership" for the poor schlubs who are "stuck in a rut of having a family." Interesting thing, though– the first generation Mazda MPV and Honda Odyssey had regular rear doors instead of sliders. They were less than stellar sellers. The second generation of both models had proper sliding doors, just as God intended. Who knows? If they'd stuck with the regular doors and changed their marketing strategy, they might have been credited with starting the crossover craze. Either that or disappeared.

Just in time for football season, Chicago’s municipal Revenue Department gives “ticket scalping” a whole new meaning. The Tribune reports that during 2006, the city generated over $210m in fines from traffic and parking citations. That’s almost four years’ worth of Bears ticket sales, and, serendipitously, about equal to the city’s anticipated 2008 budget deficit. In a “sales” performance that would impress even the NFL, parking ticket revenues have soared 60 percent. Since 2000, the number of vehicles getting the (Denver) boot has increased 20 percent. The City also recently invested $1.5m to outfit a brigade of 26 vans with plate-recognition technology to track down additional clamping candidates, while new stop light cameras promise to fatten city coffers by another $17.5m next year. With this blatant money grab intense interest in public safety affixing such a prominent bull’s eye on the wallets of American motorists, one has to wonder what other not-so-hidden driving taxes could possibly be next. Speed cameras? Congestion charges? CO2 taxes? The mind boggles.

The jobs bank at GM's Lordstown, Ohio metal stamping plant is about to receive a deposit. The Warren, Ohio Tribune Chronicle reports that about 20 workers will join the 38 already in the "money for nothing and your checks for free" repository when their jobs are phased out over the next few weeks. The workers, skilled tradesmen, will draw a 40-hour salary plus bennies while waiting for another position to open up. UAW Local 1714 president David Green says that he'd like to negotiate more enhanced buyouts and retirement incentives so they could move some of the idle workers into the vacated positions. Green also said the workers could get training while waiting for Godot reassignment or retirement "We try not to let them sit," Green demurred.

Our automobiles have become a mobile office, dining room, game room, entertainment center and lifestyle statement. gizmag reports that– Hello? Pay attention please! gizmag reports that a U.K. survey indicates the front seat of our automobile is now (always has been?) a hallowed forum for our most important interpersonal communications– a place to make "life-changing decisions."  Respondents to the Kia-commissioned survey say they've discussed moving, getting married, buying a new car, ending a relationship and/or getting divorced while in their car. And why not? The front seat facilitates private time with your significant other; it's a place to avoid distractions, where neither party can walk away (at least until the next traffic light). Interestingly, although 12 percent listed "agreeing to start trying for a baby" as a life-changing decision that they'd made in the front seat of their car, there was no mention of any similar life-changing decisions in the back.

According to psychologists, the middle child fights an endless, depressing battle for parental attention. So pity the poor Legacy 2.5i Special Edition, sitting between the WRX and Outback. The WRX is the pistonheads' golden child. Older brother Outback is largely credited with the family's success– despite the fact that the Legacy was Subaru's sales leader in May. The shrinks say lavishing praise on the neglected sib is the best way to cure middle child syndrome. Ah, but is the Legacy 2.5i Special Edition (SE) special enough to deserve it? 

General Motors is considering an unusual program to keep the price of the Chevy Volt within the grasp of the average auto buyer: renting them the battery pack. The Financial Times reports that GM is considering selling the car for the price of a Chevy Malibu, and then charging owners a monthly rental fee for the batteries. Volt chief engineer Frank Weber estimates an average owner would pay about $25/month for gas, compared to $125 for a traditional Malibu. The battery pack would rent for about $100/month giving a similar total operating cost. Oops! Unless we're missing something, Weber forgot the cost of plugging in to recharge the battery. Since the primary reason most people look at any kind of hybrid is lower operating cost, we've got to say this seems like a bone-headed self-defeating marketing idea.

Do you need to be a "car guy"  to run an automobile company? Not according to Micheline Maynard, author of The End of Detroit. Writing for The New York Times, Ms. Maynard defines a car guy as someone who "can be credited for inspiring or developing anything on the roads today." GM lifer Rick Wagoner will not be pleased to hear he's been excluded from the club– despite overseeing the introduction of more than 35 new models during his seven-year tenure. Anyway, given the current state of the American auto industry, you'd think Ms Maynard would be arguing for car guys. Nope. "Car guys were responsible for Detroit's triumphs, they also steered the companies into trouble with errors in judgment that included relying too heavily on big sport-utility vehicles." Hmmm. That seems like that's more of a "beancounter" decision than a "car guy" move. Just sayin'.

According to the Detroit Free Press, back in '96, GM workers moving to Saturn's Spring Hill, Tennessee factory agreed to give up their seniority. As part of the Delphi settlement, GM agreed to let 300 workers at a plant in nearby Athens, Alabama transfer to the Spring Hill factory as jobs became available. BUT, since Spring Hill is no longer a Saturn-only factory, the old transfer rules are out the window. Any UAW member who heads over to the Volunteer State keeps their GM seniority, while workers who gave up as much as 20 years seniority to work for Saturn find themselves at the bottom of the pecking order– even though they may have more than 30 years with GM. At least this time the workers aren't blaming management for the problem: "The union needs to fix this. The local allowed it … and I feel like International turned their back to me." None of this in-fighting can be good for morale or product quality.

Reuters reports that European Commissioner Guenter Verheugen has a stark message for automakers hoping to cope with tough new emissions limits by paying cash in lieu of compliance: fuhgeddaboutit. "The Commission has decided that its [legislative] proposal should not distort competition among the producers," Verheugen revealed. "This cannot be reconciled with payments of compensation." Quite how "payments of compensation" differ from old-fashioned "fines" is anybody's guess. Meanwhile, the European auto industry is lobbying hard against the new rules, which force carmakers to cut new cars' carbon dioxide emissions to a fleet average of 130 grams per km by 2012. The automakers are asking the EU to postpone the requirements until 2015. They've also suggested an integrated approach to curbing CO2 emissions that would include improved infrastructure, driver training, expanded reliance on biofuels and CO2-related taxes on cars and fuels. The theoretical space between a rock and a hard place was not mentioned. 

When medical studies declared second hand smoke a danger to non-smokers, anti-smoking crusaders found the ammunition they needed to bend public policy to their will. Global warming has played a similar role in the fight against the automobile. Yes, I said the automobile, not automotive emissions. While environmentalists on this side of the pond focus on fuel efficiency, alt propulsion and bio-fuels in a "have your cake and eat it" kinda way, European governments have pounced on the connection between cars and global warming to justify their ongoing anti-car crusade. And now the BBC reports a new front: obesity. The UK-based Institute for European Environmental Policy have released a study linking car ownership and obesity. Their report recommends an "exclusionary zone" around schools– to force parents and children to walk to class. Co-author Carolina Valsecchi connected the dots. "The twin crises of obesity and climate change are clearly interlinked through the switch from muscle power to engine power for transport. Concerted action is needed to reverse both these trends." Given parental protective instincts and bad British weather, a no-drive school zone would be a severe test of the Nanny State's power to restrict personal freedom for "your own good."