Press cars are specially selected, carefully prepared and meticulously maintained. Why wouldn’t they be? You can hardly expect a manufacturer to pluck a car from the assembly line and trust their model’s reputation to the vagaries of quality control– even though the car’s less likely to receive a harsh critique than a seventh grade production of The Wizard of Oz. To their credit, the manufacturers eventually “let go;” surrendering specially selected, carefully prepared new vehicles to the buff books’ long-term fleets. When things go wrong, as they do, the result betrays the tension between payola and editorial credibility. 

The Detroit Free Press (and just about every other media outlet on planet Earth) reports that U.S. presidential hopeful John Edwards wants you to surrender your SUV. Speaking at a forum sponsored by the International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers, Mr. Edwards said if he was emperor president he would order ask Americans to turn in give up their gas-guzzling SUVs and "drive more fuel-efficient vehicles." Of course, the millionaire friend of the working class didn't address the exodus' impact on the United Auto Workers, or how he might dispose of all these abandoned vehicles. On a related topic, Edwards defended his $6m energy-sucking 28,000-square-foot mansion by saying he's worked hard all his life and has always supported workers– especially those who built, clean and maintain his energy-sucking 28,000-square-foot mansion. (OK, I added that last part.) And all those people who worked hard to buy a gas-sucking SUV? Apparently, that's different.

According to Speigel, Apple's Steve Jobs and VW's boss Martin Winterkorn met in California a few days ago to discuss "various projects," and set an agenda for several meetings to come. The magazine speculated that there might be a joint project: an "iCar" integrating Apple's design principles into a future "supercool" VW model. Asked about the new Wolfsburg-Cupertino axis of gizmo, a VW spokesman refused to supply details, admitting only that Jobs and Winterkorn had discussed "a lot of ideas." Given that Apple tends to ostracize any business partner who spills the beans on new projects, the iCar could be DOA. True to form, Apple will refuse to comment on the iDea, and Wolfsburg will try to spin it as a hiptastic attempt to bring der bling to die Volk. (iCarumba!) Saying that, in '03, [both] U.S. new Beetle buyers received a "free" Apple iPod during their sci-fi oblivious "Pods Unite" promotion.

And that's it: the whole story, via contactmusic.com. While some of us have never forgiven the former Mrs. John Lennon for breaking-up the Beatles, this stunning example of political incorrectness is bound to awaken an entirely new generation of Ono detractors. You know, provided she said it. 'Cause we can't find the origin of this remark, which the aforementioned Beatles fans are sure to spread throughout cyberspace (with our help). Anyway, THIS is the time for Lexus PR to step up to the plate and promote their forthcoming 600h L. Something tells me Ms. Ono wouldn't mind accepting a free loaner in exchange for promoting the world's most expensive– and luxurious– hybrid. Of course, she'd need to keep making stupid statements to get enough publicity to make it worth their while, and God knows WHAT she might say. I dunno, something like, curry powder prevents Alzheimer's. Wait, done.

Brandweek and Adage report that Mercedes will launch a big ass (my words) marketing campaign for their new C-Class on September 10, aiming to woo buyers with ads that stress the sedan's build quality and precision engineering. Without a trace of irony, Merc marketing maven Steve Cannon says his employer aims to show potential buyers that its "entry-level offering is as solid and dependable as its most expensive models." No wonder, then, that Cannon aiming the spots at first time buyers (i.e. buyers who never personally experienced the discrepancy between Mercedes' rep for reliability and their actual reliability). More specifically, Mercedes' core target "is 35 to 45 years old, equally male and female, educated and with a household income of about $100,000." While one wonders how many Mercedes buyers are (or are willing to admit to being) equally male and female, you've got to admire the former Airborne Ranger's spunk. When Ad Age asked from whence cometh potential C-Classers, Cannon showed confidence, hipness and a genuine talent for jargon: "The usual suspects: luxury competitors like BMW, Infiniti, Lexus and Audi and a lot of what feeds this segment is highly equipped nonluxury products." Highly equipped nonluxury products? Somebody get that man a Honduran cigar!

I guess no one told Jaguar Design Boss Ian Callum that the British brand's forthcoming sale spells the end of his reign over the historic marque's sheetmetal. While Jag's new buyers will no doubt be glad to see the back end of Mr. Callum, Mr. Callum is busy worrying about the back end of future Jaguars. The design jeffe told just-auto [sub] that he's going to take the word 'jaguar' off the back of production cars. But not just yet. "When people see the XF they won't know what it is," Callum demurred. "So they will look for a name badge. That's why we've left it on, but put the leaper there as well, The name will go probably on production cars within two or three years." After explaining the philosophy behind the XF's front end– creating a schnoz that Jaguar founder Sir William Lyons could have penned– Callum predicted the new sedan's nose wasn't a one-off. "It's styling that you'll see on Jaguars more and more," he added. If ever a sentence cried-out for the word "hopefully," that one's it. 

The Verkehrsclub Deutschland (VCD) is a German environmental organization that advises corporations, lobbies governments and generally represents for Mother Earth. And just for fun, each year the VCD names the Eurozone’s most “environmentally-compatible” car. For the second year in a row, the 68K member pressure group has bestowed that honor upon the European Honda Civic Hybrid. The Toyota Prius scooped second. The Temple of VTEC (we are not worthy) reports that The Civic and Prius were the only compact cars to make the VCD’s Top 10; the remaining eight were mini and super-minis. The diminutive VW Polo BlueMotion was the only diesel-powered motor to make the grade. Oh, and if you haven’t tried Google’s translation service, we highly recommend you click on the first link above for further insight into VCD’s goals (e.g. “We approach the vision of a lasting and futurable mobility only with the help of many particulars.“).   

Our own Jay Shoemaker called it: Mercedes' in-house tuner is practicing its black magic on more models. Pistonheads reports that AMG is set to unleash the SLK 55 AMG Black Series on suspecting, well-heeled hoons. To banish/bolster the ride's rep as the ultimate hairdresser/mistress' car, the Boys from Affalterbach have upgraded the [once] uber-SLK's 5.5-liter V8 to 400hp, and blessed it with enough twist to keep the traction control Nanny stuttering for days. (We're torquing zero to 60mph in 4.5 seconds.) Since they couldn't throw out the SLK's back seat, AMG lightened the load by fixing the SLK's folding tin top in place and binning all those meticulous motors and bling-bringing braces. Suspension mods, bigger brakes, larger shoes, carbon in the cabin and away you go; proving that a nose heavy German two-door can be just as breathtakingly bonkers as an ass-engined German two-door. 

Following hundreds of deaths and injuries of innocent bystanders, police departments nationwide have been forced to re-consider their pursuit policies. The [Oregon] Register Guard provides yet another example of a dangerous high speed police chase. This time 'round, Albany police radared a motorcyclist doing 81mph. When the biker kept on going, Officer Flierl activated his lights and siren and tried to overtake the motorcycle on Hwy. 126, a two-lane road that winds through the Cascade Mountains. Biker boy passed a vehicle in a no-passing zone before merging onto Highway 20, and then overtook seven to 11 more vehicles at speeds that "might have" topped 100 mph. Eventually, Buckley Duane Church II pulled over. Police charged him with felony attempt to elude a police officer, reckless driving and recklessly endangering another person (his passenger, his sixteen year-old daughter). Although we're happy to see a successful resolution to what could have easily been another tragic situation, it's worth noting that Mr. Church II is an off-duty police officer. Perhaps the court will order Mr. Church II to educate his fellow officers about how NOT to trigger the "fight or flight" response. 

You may have noticed a few changes to the site over the last few days: disappearing and reappearing car reviews, some new functions, a flaming warning above the edit box, a bigger edit box in which not to flame, etc. Yes, our most excellent programmers have been busy doing a little pre-winter cleaning. The editorial side of this endeavor thank them for their hard-work, creativity and perspicacity (in cyberspace, no one can smell you sweat). And now, finally, we can return to podcasting. I've chosen Mr. Justin Berkowitz for our daily cast. He's got the right 'tude for the job and doesn't actually have a job– the "real" kind that doesn't let you podcast from a company-sponsored cubicle. We'll be riffing on our content for your dining and dancing pleasure. Enjoy. Oh, and the best way to clear your cache to see the prettified site: click on "classic" in the header bar, then click on "new" in the top right corner. 

C/net News editor Michael Kanellos tackles that most filmic of questions: who killed the electric car? His answer: no one. Well, not intentionally. Kenellos reject the idea that there was a carmaker-led conspiracy to kneecap battery-powered transportation.  "The most innovative things they've come up with in three decades are the cupholder and the Lee Iacocca goggle glasses. These people are going to engineer a global conspiracy that eludes regulators around the world, financiers and competitors?" Kanellos says electric car technology simply couldn't meet the demands of the average consumer. Or, as he puts it, "consumers are cheap and don't want to be inconvenienced by a car that will die on the freeway before they get to Ikea's produce and burger stand when they're driving from the Bay Area to Lake Tahoe." 'Nuff said?

OK, the 9mm bit is me. But the purposeful walk advice comes from Universal Protection Services, a security company whose intergalactic remit includes providing sparking industry with "innovative fire/life safety programs and electronic security solutions." Company executive vice president and COO Steve Jones has some decidedly low-tech solutions for people who've seen all those spooky TV shows and movies where bad things happen in echoey parking garages. Mr. Jones says you shouldn't linger around your car (waiting for someone to cue the knife-wielding/chloroform-clutching psycho), keep your doors locked and windows up until Elvis (and you) have left the building and "if possible, park next to entrances or in open and well-lit areas." Huh. We were kind of hoping for stuff like never stop and say "Hello? Is anyone there?" and "fight for your life; if they get you in the car, you're dead meat." 

"Boot'em Bob" Nardelli didn't really need 100 days to be true to his moniker. According to the Detroit Free Press, the former scourge of Home Depot's upper management "team" has started kicking ass and taking names making changes in Chrysler's executive suite. BEB's appointed former office manager to the CEO Andreas Schell to oversee the company's turnaround plan. Office manager? And hang on: isn't that Chrysler President and Vice Chairman Tom LaSorda's turnaround plan? Yes, well, the press release says Schell will report directly to LaSorda and Nardelli. As a wiser man once almost observed, "No office manager can serve two masters." Or, more childishly, Tom Tom go?

Once again, rather than address the problem, an automaker's using technology to try to mitigate the consequences. Gizmag reports Volvo will show a new technology at the Frankfurt Motor Show that evaluates a driver's alertness and reacts accordingly. Volvo claims that "up to 90 percent" of traffic accidents are caused by a distracted driver; so they've developed a system that uses an array of cameras and sensors to determine the car's movements and calculate whether the driver is at risk of losing control. If it decides there's a problem, it sounds an alarm to let the driver know they need to pay more attention to their driving and less attention to their cell phone, Blackberry, DVD player or whatever they're doing. If the idiot behind the wheel still doesn't react, the car will automatically apply the brakes or take other "preventative safety" actions. It's only a matter of time before a lawsuit claims the car should have taken over and prevented the accident while the driver was busy browsing MySpace on his PDA.

Who said you can't have your cake and drive it too? Wired Magazine continues the top ten transport trend (thanks Forbes) with its list of "The 10 Fastest Green Cars on the Planet." They range from the ridiculous (muscle-powered FM-4 HumanCar) to the ridiculous (1200hp, ethanol-powered SVS Power Dodge Viper). The list also includes Audi's LeMans-winning diesel R-10 TDI, Ford's record-setting fuel-cell Focus and (of course) the "Where is it Now?" Tesla Roadster. Unfortunately, very few of the cars on Wired list are street-legal or in production. Even fewer qualify as anything remotely resembling practical transportation. Still, gearheads and greenies together forever? As Rodney King famously enquired, "Why can't we all just get along?"