Janelle Dunklee recently received a letter from the Vermont Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) informing her that her driver’s license had been suspended. Ms. Dunklee called to find out what was up with that. According to WPTZ TV, the DMV told Dunklee they were “clearing out some old records” and discovered that she’d been pulled over for speeding in 1980. The records indicated she’d been given a speeding ticket for doing 43 in a 30 and fined $26. As the fine was never paid, Dunklee’s license was suspended. Claiming she'd “never been pulled over in her life," Dunklee challenged the 27-year-old suspension. Claiming they were “surprised at the delay,” court officials dismissed the ticket. State's Attorney Robert Sand was surprised at their surprise. "Back in 1980, paperwork was done by hand, and it wasn't uncommon for things to get lost,” he said. 

Ford's $25m Man continues his "back to basics" pogram program at Ford. The Detroit News reports that Ford CEO Alan Mulally is considering resurrecting The Blue Oval's old ad tagline "Have you driven a Ford lately?" (Uh, have you listened to a Ford TV ad lately? At least one uses the phrase as a musical background.) Further confusing the somewhat of a non-issue, Big Al says he will or won't do it depending or not depending on his marketing experts' opinion, to a greater or lesser extent: "I certainly am bringing it back — I don't know if I can convince my colleagues that that will be our main marketing campaign." Auto Pacific analyst Jim Hall agrees with Mulally's assessment that he's the wrong guy to make that decision: "He's being paid too much to be working on an advertising campaign." Alternatively, you could say Big Al's being paid too much NOT to be working on an advertising campaign. 

And that's just the second half of '07. On Wednesday, Deutsche Bank automotive analyst Rod Lache informed his clients (and Forbes) that sales of The General's latest trucks and SUVs have peaked. "We are currently forecasting an 8 percent decline in GMT900 production in the second half based on a relatively flat absolute inventory levels," Rod wrote in his Dear John note to investors. "An assumption which increasingly looks optimistic based on the decline in segment volumes." In other words, GM's losing share in a declining segment. Although the estimate is not unexpected– given GM's recently announced big rig production cuts– as the housing slump gets worse, it looks like GM's cash cow is in the chute, heading straight to the packing house. So… what now?

OK, I'm paraphrasing. Freshly-minted (though perhaps not minty fresh) Chrysler CEO Boot'em Bob Nardelli rang-up The Rockford Register Star's star columnist Chuck Sweeny to schmooze. The fellow Auburn High School Knights yakked about federal corporate average fuel economy figures. Well, anyway, that's the news peg. And most of Sweeny's recollection sounds a lot like a PR release. But there is some meat to this matter. "Nardelli said he’ll need about 100 days before he can make a realistic assessment of what needs to be done to make Chrysler successful as an independent company, but he said his experience at GE is exactly what he needs to guide Chrysler: 'I’ve been there, done that before.'" First, BEB's 100-day assessment flies in the face of Cerberus' modus operandi, as reported by Portfolio ("When Cerberus pulls the trigger on a new purchase, it executes a detailed 100-day plan"). Secondly, it seems our fears of Boot'em Bob Six Sigma-ing Chrysler to death are not without foundation. Meanwhile, BEB's optimism knows no bounds, and he really, really wants to be seen as a car guy. "This is a really good business, and I’ve always had this romance about cars."

Reflecting the obesity epidemic sweeping our society, crash test dummies are porking-up. The Daily Mail reports that Euro NCAP, the organization responsible for crash test results in Europe, is introducing a 6'1" 224 lbs. crash test dummy. The heftier proto-human will accompany the current standard: a 5'9" 172 lbs. male (in the G.I. Joe sense of the word). Not wanting to appear sexist, Euro NCAP's also introducing a 4'11" 108 lbs. female to cover the lower end of the size scale. In the U.S., auto manufacturers abuse up to 18 different crash test dummies in a variety of children's and adult sizes, ranging from the aforementioned 108 lbs. female to a 6'3" 225 lbs. male. NHTSA uses five assorted children's dummies and two adult dummies: the 4'11" female and the 5'9" male. Just in case you were wondering.

In the 60's, Chrysler built 50 experimental turbine-engined cars and put them in the hands of consumers for real-world testing. The turbine program ended abruptly, the victim of emission standards. Now, over 40 years later, emission standards are the driving force behind Chevy's new test fleet of 100 fuel-cell-powered Equinoxes. Popular Science reports that rumors of Chevy's "Project Driveway" are about to come true: GM will select drivers in Orange County, California; Westchester County, New York; and Washington, D.C. to wring-out the hydrogen-powered clean machines, free of charge, for up to two years. (The areas were chosen for their access to hydrogen filling stations, gloves mandatory.) If you're interested in applying for the test program, go to www.chevrolet.com/fuelcell/. And if you're PC lucky enough to be selected, please let us know.

For the last few years, the American public has embraced Toyota's products as clean, durable and efficient. Exhibit A: the demure Camry, which has maintained its position as America’s favorite automobile. Exhibit also A: the Hybrid Synergy Driven Prius; the poster child for environmentally and foreign policy-conscious consumers. No surprise, then, that Toyota's been held up as America's responsible automaker, the one who doesn't bitch and moan about federal regulations, but just puts its head down and does the right thing. And makes money doing it! And then Toyota released the new Tundra.

The movement to ticket drivers who smoke in cars with children on board is gathering force. Physicians at the Canadian Medical Association's (CMA) annual general meeting called for a nationwide ban on the practice. "The risk of second-hand smoke is quite clear to everyone in this room," Ottawa doctor Atul Kapur proclaimed. "There are few areas where children are still exposed; however, one of them is vehicles." According to Canada.com, only one unnamed doc was brave enough to oppose the resolution, saying the CMA should strive to educate parents rather than alienating them "by pulling them over on Highway 401." Given the increasing number of jurisdictions enacting legislation to outlaw the practice, such common sense didn't– and doesn't– stand a chance. 

Visitors to Ft. Collins Colorado don't have any problem finding the massive WWV shortwave antenna array that broadcasts the time from the government's famous atomic clock. In town, locating a hybrid on a car dealer’s lot ain't so easy. The Coloradoan reports that local hybrid sales are high. Mark Pedersen of Pedersen Toyota pronounced them "extremely steady." Over at Markley Motors Honda store, used car manager Jaime Twito says Honda's hybrids are usually sold before they arrive. "We take everything they give us… they're hard to keep on the ground." Things are a little tougher for Brad Laugel, inventory manager at Dellenbach Motors. While the Chevy dealer has no hybrids to sell, he’s expecting a few ‘08 gas – electric Malibus later this year. Changing the subject ever-so-slightly, Laugel says Ft. Collins is “a good market” for vehicles like the Silverado and Tahoe, which can run on E85. Fortunately, unlike most U.S. towns, Ft. Collins actually has a station selling the brew: Western Convenience Store on 1113 West Drake Road. Be sure and say hello for us– but don't ask if they have the exact time.

Prowler-mania, Demonology; what's up with Chrysler's automotive tastes these days? What Car (indeed) reports that the foul Chrysler Sebring diesel (and we're not talking about emissions here) may be the first Chrysler product blessed with a Dual-Sequential Gearbox (DSG). As DSG is Borg Warner's name for Volkswagen's sublime paddle shifter, the magazine is hedging its bets regarding sourcing: "It is not yet clear if the dual-clutch transmission is Chrysler's own, if it has been developed with former sister company Mercedes, or if it is from another manufacturer – the Sebring's 2.0-litre diesel engine is already sourced from Volkswagen." And while they're at it, What Car says the gearbox might spread to other Chrysler products. Funny thing is, I can't think of a single Chrysler product that really deserves needs it… Viper? Do they still make that?

CSM Worldwide have some bad news for auto execs waking up to their skinny lattes. The automotive forecasters reckon the collapse of the housing market and soaring consumer debt will send U.S. auto sales plummeting by nine percent. CSM's Senior Economist connected the dots. "With many consumers having a harder time getting mortgages or coping with higher payments from their adjustable rate mortgages, there will be a considerable impact on light vehicle sales," Charles Chesbrough  predicted. "Weak sales of existing homes and declining home values also are dampening consumer spending, leaving less money available for vehicle purchases." It gets worse. CSM's NA soothsayer says American automobiles sales will recover "no sooner than" the fourth quarter of 2008. In fact, Joe Barker says "market fundamentals have deteriorated and will need at least a year to rebuild." He also noted that the domestics' production is heading south, while the transplants' are ramping-up. As David Halberstram might have said, a reckoning is on its way.

On August ninth, GM Car Czar Maximum Bob Lutz announced that his employer had increased incentives in response to its competitors' spending– not to shore-up sliding market share. On Elvis' Death Day (August 16), Bob pronounced himself "reasonably pleased" with the month's progress– despite our spies' reports that GM's sales were continuing their disastrous slide. Yesterday, GM ended the charade (at least for anyone other than Bob Lutz) by announcing production cutbacks on their cash cows: pickup trucks and SUVs. Reuters reports that the automaker has eliminated previously scheduled overtime through the rest of the year at truck-making plants in Arlington, Texas; Janesville, Wisconsin; Silao, Mexico; Fort Wayne, Indiana; Flint, Michigan; and Oshawa, Ontario. Spokesman Tom Wickham explained that "reducing overtime production enables us to reduce pressure for excessive incentive spending." True, but it also reduces the amount of cash GM's North American operations will generate. If August pans out the way we've heard, look for more production cuts AND increased incentives.

Microchip Technologies is in full damage/spin control mode, as Israeli and Belgian boffins say they've cracked the "Keeloq" anti-theft key code. The code is the foundation of the company's remote control system. MT's plippers lock and unlock the doors and immobilize and de-immobilize models built by Fiat, General Motors, Toyota, Volvo, Honda, Volkswagen, Jaguar, Daewoo and Chrysler. Microchip's website calls the code "a highly secure algorithm." The hackers call it lunchmeat. The Jerusalem Post says all the geeks have to do is wirelessly access your key for about an hour, run their computer program and hey presto! They can identify your code from a billion billion possibilities, unlock your car and motor away. Or can they? "Our attack was checked in depth in program simulations," claimed researchers Sebastian Indestig, Eli Beham, Or Dunkelman, Barrett Fernil and Natan Keller. These guys would do well to remember the Ancient Art of War admonition: the algorithm is not the territory.

Mercedes headed for legal action? No news there. But this time it's against the Chinese for a fraudulent design clone.   The Chinese-manufactured "Shuanghuan Noble" is set to debut at Frankfurt and go on sale in the EU shortly thereafter for about €7,000. Not bad, since a real SMART will run nearly €10,000. That might be pocket change to an S-Class shopper, but it's a reduction in price by 30%. Knock-off Burberry caps? Perhaps. Knock-off microcar? I think the safety kit is there for a reason… I'll stick with a nearly new Smart, thanks. This particular legal action is tremendous, because Mercedes is going to win (you think the EU Courts are going to let the Chinese push around one of the good old boys?) and it's going to show that just because the Chinese have inconsistent and weak copyright infringement, the Europeans won't tolerate such intellectual theft. I hope.

Some two dozen California gas station owners have filed suit in U.S District Court, accusing Shell Oil Co., Chevron Corp. and Saudi Refining Inc. of fixing prices. The lawsuit claims executives from the three oil companies formed two [now defunct] joint ventures– Equilon in the west, Motiva in the east– for the express purpose of stiffing stations. Lawyer Joseph M. Alioto contends that from 1999 to 2001 the companies artificially inflated wholesale gas prices by “at least” 20 cents a gallon and possibly as much as 40 cents per gallon. Quoted in The Olympian, Chevron mouthpiece Stephanie Price said been there, done that, watched it get thrown out of court. In 2004, the U.S. Supreme Court dismissed a virtually identical case brought by a different group of station owners. If you’re wondering why Alioto’s mob is having another go from a slightly different angle, the brief wants the oil companies to pay 23k franchisees $240k. Each.