By on September 11, 2007

unit2.jpgIf you’re a gearhead monitoring the international media, you’d be forgiven for thinking the Frankfurt Auto Show was run by and for Friends of the Earth. Low-emission Mercedes! Low-consumption VWs! Hydrogen Kias! Ethanol Saabs! Non-existent plug-in hybrids! A casual visitor to this event might wonder if he’d gone to the wrong show. Why is it that all the interesting new cars premiering in Frankfurt are non-green? Why do people crowd around sexy new cars such as the 1-Series BMW, while nobody (save the press) gather ‘round the various not-quite-developed Mueslimobiles? 

Frankfurt’s eco-mania a sign of the times I suppose, when it’s not enough to do well; you have to be seen to be doing good. Well good for them. As for me and my fellow pistonheads, we’re more interested in the more exciting not-so-very-PC fare: sexy new sheetmetal concepts and machines ready to leave donut marks on any road paved with good intentions.

1-series.jpgLet's start with the car that thousands of North Americans Bimmer fans are lusting for: the BMW 1-Series Coupe. I had to touch base with my inner pedant to think of any niggles… Since when is the two-door sedan version of a hatchback called a Coupe? Why does a small sports car have to have electric seats, electric sunroof, electric everything? Surely there’s a better play: make it all manual and charge the snot out of Bimmer’s long-suffering optionistas. Otherwise, the 1 could be The One: Neo– I mean, Bangle’s best.

01_audi_a4_iaa.jpgThe new Audi A4 is another sure-fire hit. Ingolstadt’s once entry-level model oozes sophistication in an entirely A5 kinda way. The exterior has grown more elegant and substantial. The car's new architecture, with the engine moved back for better handling and a shorter snout, promises a better drive. If it works as well as it looks, then I predict a runaway success.

Audi interiors still set the bar. Anyone coveting a Cadillac CTS’ cabin should have seen the envious looks non-Audi executives were giving the cabin as they stood in line to sit inside.

7_frank_jaguarxf-7_opt.jpgI can't predict such success for the new Jaguar XF. Sure, it looks OK. As a relative to the new, long and wide Ford Mondeo, it has a nice stance. But is it special enough to put Jaguar back on its pedestal? If it drives better than  the competition, then we will say congrats to Jag, and good riddance to retro styling. Otherwise, thumbs down.

2008mazda6-6_opt.jpgSpeaking of Mondeo-related, I liked the new Mazda6. The design is suffused with Lexus-like elements, but it’s so anonymous that it’s almost invisible. (Did I say “but?” Perhaps I should have said “and.”) Nobody really seemed to care about the poor thing. There it sat. Unappreciated. Unloved. Under-admired. Ready to kick ass in the marketplace.

cadillac_bls_wagon.jpgThe new Cadillac BLS Station Wagon would probably be happy to be anonymous. Does anybody have the foggiest idea of what GM is thinking with this thing? I'll be ****** if I do, but let’s speculate.

First stage: uh, let's do a small Cadillac and sell it in Europe– no harm in that, right? If that doesn’t work, we can also not sell it in Mexico and South Africa. Second stage: Nobody is buying the BaconLettuceSalami, so let's slip a FIAT diesel up front. Chapter three: the BuLlShit is still a flop, so let's try a station wagon. Jeez, what's next, a BLSamino pickup truck just for our friends at Jalopnik? This is a car that nobody asked for, or ever will.

img_0004.jpgMoving from the sublime to the ridiculous, I was curious to check out the new Fiat 500. They’re advertising it with the slogan "You Are, We Car.” No; it’s not one of those bi-lingual in-flight magazine translations. It’s supposed to be enigmatically cute. I wanted to feed– I mean like the 500, but the We Car’s inside is cramped and gimmicky and the whole thing is not even as nouveau retro as the old New Beetle.

And that is about it. Yes there is a Mini Clubman, which is about as exciting as a mini club sandwich. And Mercedes served-up a C-Class Station Wagon, which has enough carrying capacity to transport a decade’s worth of C-Class Station Wagon brochures. VW’s got a mini-SUV for those who STILL don’t get it, and a pleasant Skoda station wagon for those who do.

Next up: concept cars. Guess how many are green themed?

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17 Comments on “Frankfurt Auto Show: It Ain’t Easy Not Being Green...”


  • avatar
    ajla

    General Motors Death Watch 146: The FIAT powered Cadillac BLS wagon.

  • avatar
    Dream 50

    MINI is going to sell a pile of Clubmans. The BLS wagon may sell in numbers rivaling the Aztek’s. A rear-engined VW may become an instant cult classic. From the rear three quarter view, the 1-series looks almost attractive, though white is undoubtedly the least flattering colour for it. The Jag doesn’t look at all like a Jaguar does or should. The Mazda 6? Somewhere an Acura is missing its grill.

    Keith

  • avatar
    Jay Shoemaker

    Martin, you need to check out the F700 Mercedes concept. That is one green concept that would get any gearhead’s heart pumping.

  • avatar
    shaker

    That’s one nice Rabbit, there… Oh, it’s a Beemer! How much? Gulp! At least it’s more reliable, right? Hmm… (puts checkbook back in jacket).

  • avatar
    CeeDragon

    The horrible thing about being interested in green cars and (gasp) buying a green car is that you may appear to care about the environment and the creatures that inhabit it, even if it may not make economic sense to your wallet. What a terrible image to project.

    If you’re an honest, red-blooded, terrorist-hating patriot who likes to burn fuel without feeling the least bit guilty about it, then you should, nay, must critisize any effort to be greener by bringing them down to baser motivations. It’s all about show. It’s not really helping anything. It’s a fad.

  • avatar
    radimus

    So if you buy an environmentally friendly car and don’t swerve to avoid making small animals into roadkill entres are you a hypocrit?

  • avatar

    Radimus – there is no such thing as an environmentally friendly car.

  • avatar
    Jonathon

    A BLSamino? YES! I’d buy one just for the weird looks I’d get driving it.

  • avatar
    Kevin

    there is no such thing as an environmentally friendly car.

    How wrong you are! I modified my car so that it intakes CO2, spews out Bald Eagles, and runs on hypocrisy!

  • avatar
    Lumbergh21

    You know Dianne Feinstein (D-California) is building a retreat in the mountains of California with an environmentally friendly helicopter pad for her hybrid helicopter. Oh that’s right, she’s doing important work to make sure the environment is saved from evil business owners (and the people they employ). We can’t expect her to behave in an “environmentally responsible manner.”

    Rules are for the little people not the ruling class.

  • avatar
    jdv

    BMW 135i
    HP: 300/5800rpm 414/8300rpm
    Torque: 300/1400rpm
    Weight: ~3200lb
    0-62: 5.3 sec
    Price: unofficial 33K

    An M1 in all but name

    yummy

  • avatar

    I think the Fiat 500 is interesting as a car, albeit too cutesy for my taste, but the ad campaign? Ugh.

    I see no basic contradiction between green(er) cars and interesting cars — a friend of mine had a Honda Insight for a while, which he described as being great fun to drive in the same kind of way his MG TD was. (Not fast, but with considerable entertainment value, nonetheless.) Interesting cars don’t demand tire-frying torque or gas-guzzling displacement.

    Me, I keep hoping for the modern equivalent of a late-60s Alfa GTV in size and concept — certainly an exciting car in its day — with modern reliability (and rustproofing). Something stylish but compact, brisk, nimble, and and fuel efficient. Current engineering could certain achieve this, if there was any will to do it.

  • avatar
    jerseydevil

    argentla

    I agree with you! The GT-V was (is) a great car. And I also like the new Fiat 500, i’d buy one. Here in the Northeast, there are Mini Coopers everywhere. Another choice in that market would be nice. The Fit doesnt – er – fit – its too utilitarian. I could get another VW, but they are all over the place too. The only other choice is the upcoming Smart. Hmmmm.

    PS I Wish BMW woulkd decontent the 1 series and bring the hatchback here.

  • avatar
    Orian

    I’m sort of disappointed by the new Mazda 6. I’m sure it will be a great driving car, it just looks more bland than ever.

  • avatar
    akitadog

    Orian,
    I hope you’re not basing your comment on this one story photo.

    I’ve seen other shots of the Mazda6 (on other sites) and it really looks smart (no pun intended). The sedan’s/hatchback’s best angle is the rear 3/4, where it reminds me sort of the MB S-class. The wagon doesn’t look that bad either. It looks more like a stretched 3 5-door with a similar bulbous rear. Overall, it’s an improvement over the last generation.

  • avatar
    NickR

    Re: the BLS

    A page full of car enthusiasts and I’m the only one who knows about GM’s Random Car Generator?

    For shame.

  • avatar
    Martin Schwoerer

    NickR: tell us about it, please

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