Austin-based EEStor says its cracked it. It's developed an electric car battery that will allow a car to travel for 500 miles on a five-minute charge. According to the AP, the Texas company's ultracapacitor (that's ultra, not flux) has a secret ingredient: "a material [barium titanate] sandwiched between thousands of wafer-thin metal sheets, like a series of foil-and-paper gum wrappers stacked on top of each other. Charged particles stick to the metal sheets and move quickly across EEStor's proprietary material." Although Canadian electric car maker ZENN Motors says its taking delivery of the new battery for its "short-range, low-speed vehicles" and hailed the technology as "paradigm shift… that would would make internal combustion engines unnecessary" (note: would not will), skeptics are plenty damn skeptical. Ultracapacitor competitor Maxwell Technologies says the EEstor's doo-hickey won't work with regular wall outlets, could crack from road surface jolts or slowly discharge on it own, leaving the driver stranded. Georgia Tech Prof Joseph Perry shares similar concerns, but "I'd be very happy to be proved wrong." Amen.

Want a "full day of upper class experience onboard a Maybach 62S with a designated chauffeur" at your beck and call? Just be one of the first 62 walk-in customers at the new Mercedes dealership at the Marina Mall in Abu Dhabi, UAE. Oh wait, you're too late. AME Info reports a local franchisee has opened a 25,295 sq. ft. dealership at the mall on Sunday. It features everything that Mercedes makes, including the full, AMG, Maybach and McLaren lineup. The mall also includes displays of Mercedes models in a "circle of elite boutiques" and "showcased around the main entrance and coffee shop area." Placing the dealership at "the busiest mall in Abu Dhabi" brings "Mercedes-Benz into the heart of retail in Abu Dhabi." Geez… and we get all excited when a new Starbucks opens at the mall!

GM's recent layoffs at their Oshawa Ontario light truck production facility– the plant that builds the automaker's once-upon-a-time Silverado savior– will idle 1100 workers. While we're sure the Canadian Auto Workers union's most excellent contract will keep those paychecks coming for quite some time, you've got to feel for their future. Meanwhile, over at GM Planworks, the future's so bright they're wearing shades. And playing videogames. Crain's Detroit Business reports that the company that handles all of GM's $2.9b media spend piles up the perks. "Employees who reach 10 years of service can take a four-week sabbatical at half-pay. There are 20 paid holidays on the schedule, shorter Friday workdays in the summer and three- and four-day workweeks…. The company also has digital conference rooms with the newest technology, such as TiVo, DVRs, editing equipment and video game consoles." Howzzat? “Having the newest technology has always been a priority,” said Mary Carpenter, GM Planworks' president of strategy and operations. Hey, where''s MY iPhone? 

Last season, Dodge ran tongue-in-cheek ads where they "secretly replaced" someone's Odyssey or Sienna with a Dodge van. Now The New York Times tells us Ford's doing it for real with full knowledge of the owner. Ford's new "Swap My Ride" marketing campaign asks new car buyers to drive a Ford for a week instead whatever they just bought– without telling them it's for a commercial. Then, in the guise of "market research," they ask for "raw, unbiased opinions" to "get real objectivity and honest responses." It seems to be working. An alert Murano buyer observed the Edge "has two sunroofs." Will the the marketing mavens be Ford tough enough to make a bold move and air negative comments from consumers who've driven a Ford lately? Yeah right.

Illinois' Governor and former trans-Alaskan pipeline worker Rodney Blagojevich has signed the state's new "Truth in Towing Law." After taking full credit for the legislation, Daily Southtown columnist Phil Kadner reveals the new regs (which also shows you just how bad things were). From now on, "safety relocators" must be licensed by the state, display their company name, address and phone number on their trucks; get the owner's permission before towing a vehicle, reveal the stricken vehicle's ultimate destination and specify all costs. What's more, they can't "ask" owners to sign a transit damage waiver. They must provide an itemized invoice and allow cash OR credit payments, and return the vehicle during normal business hours. And now, the loopholes. First, the law doesn't take effect until July of next year. Second, there is no set fee for towing. Kadner reports that towing companies are still charging owners $1700 cash to retrieve their vehicles. 

Sat nav, brake-by-wire, stability control, parking distance sensors, fuel injection– CNET reports that the average automobile requires $1997 worth of software code to keep it from crashing (in both senses of the word). That’s about nine percent of the showroom price. To stop programming prices from spiraling out of control and to help accelerate development time, Honda, Toyota and Nissan have teamed-up with Toshiba to create a standard operating system for automotive applications. Oh, here’s a surprise: U.S. auto companies may already be falling behind in software standardization. And who will ride to their rescue? CNET’s got the major league hots for IBM, after Big Blue scarfed Swedish “automotive technology powerhouse” Telelogic. (In fact, the dead hand of IBM PR is all over this piece.) Snicker if you must, but the smart money’s still on Microsoft’s mob to create a one-size-fits-all software solution. In any case, the battle for auto OS has serious long-term implications for reliability and repair costs. We’ll keep you posted from with our Windows XP.

The GM cheering section over at The Car Connection (TCC) checks-in with a look at Saab's crystal ball. Previewing the ostensibly Swedish brand's forthcoming crossover (a.k.a. the 9-4x), new Saab boss and GM lifer Steve Shannon wasn't pulling any punches– or saying anything coherent. ""We will not make the mistake of some other manufacturers, trying to make a 'tweener,' somewhere between a car and a truck. We will not take any risks with this." Huh? After that Zen-koan-on-wheels hits the streets, Shannon's mob will make another attempt at building a Saaburu 9-2. "We learned a lesson from the 9-2. We need to add a design that's really a breakthrough. There are a lot of very pedestrian, over-priced players in that segment right now." Many of them still making money, no doubt. Speaking of which, Shannon claims Saab is "sustainable" at 200k new car sales per year. To hit that mark, Saab requires a 35 percent increase over current sales. TCC says "Saab is betting it can reach those numbers." We say, where can we get a piece of THAT action?

How's this for gallows humor. What's the difference between Ford's Mercury franchise and the Titanic? The Titanic had a band. That little piece of levity arrives courtesy John Pico, a dealership consultant in Dallas. Speaking to Automotive News [AN sub], Pico pointed out that Chrysler killed Plymouth when the brand's new vehicle sales descended to 246k units, and GM pulled the plug on Oldsmobile when that brand's sales fell to 289k. Mercury's sales are currently below 200k, and heading south. Automotive News surveyed 125 Mercury dealers to do the math. No can do. Despite the fact that two-thirds admitted they sell fewer than 15 new Mercury vehicles a month, five out of six said Mercury's current product lineup is competitive. It better be; aside from a Merc version of the 2009 hybrid Focus, there is no new product planned for the brand. AN also reports that the "How great is that?" Mark LT pickup is about to go away. Yet still they believe. "Dealers in the survey said they hope Ford will apply proceeds from the sale of these European luxury brands to strengthening Mercury." According to Brian Allan, general manager of Galpin Lincoln-Mercury in suburban LA, "With the possible sale of Volvo, Mercury could be even more important in the near future for Ford Motor Company." Of this possibility FoMoCo's silence speaks volumes.

The New York Times reports that Berlin, New Hampshire is recovering from its post-paper mill slump by building a federal prison and an A.T.V./motocross park. Good luck with the prison thing. Meanwhile, in five year's time, Berlin will accommodate Ozzie Osbourne's least favorite form of transportation with some 136 miles of trails and numerous campgrounds. "About 20 miles are open now on the 7,500-acre tract," The Times reports. "Most of which the state bought from a logging company for $2.1 million in 2005. The state has estimated the park will eventually generate $694k in annual revenue." The president of the New Hampshire ATV club says it could be more. "I'm constantly getting calls from southern New England from people looking for some place to go," Rick Lacourse reveals. "At the moment, you've got to go all the way up to Maine to find long trails. If Berlin connects the park with other local trails, you could have 300 miles or more. It'll be a major magnet for off-road enthusiasts."  

Yup, it's a trend! This is our third example of safety advice so glaringly obvious that we can only assume its target audience will need someone with a higher IQ to read it to them very, very slowly. This time it's not a press release. It's an actual, honest-to-God story from an intern at the Daily Press in Newport News, VA. Katie Bahr lowers the bar for local drivers, telling them "When a school bus stops and its red lights are flashing, no cars are allowed to pass the bus from either direction until it is moving again, state law says." For riders, Bahr turns to David Benware, the director of transportation at Hampton City Public Schools. "Make sure the bus has come to a complete stop before beginning to approach it from the outside or — if you're on the bus — before getting out of your seat." We'll add that children should remain seated when the bus is in motion. 

In an email to 67K employees, the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) encouraged employees to buy more fuel efficient vehicles. Although the email mentions several American products– Ford Ranger, Dodge Caravan and Ford Escape Hybrid– the email recommends twelve fuel-sippers: the Honda Fit, Civic, Civic GX and Civic Hybrid; Toyota Prius, Corolla and Camry Hybrid; Nissan Altima Hybrid, Kia Rio/Rio 5, Hyundai Accent and Elantra. Speaking to The Detroit News, Chrysler's Jason Vines asked "Can you imagine the Japanese government sending out an e-mail encouraging employees to buy American cars?" Without addressing the political hot potato, HHS spokesman Bill Hall dismissed the controversy as a simple misunderstanding. "People are reading more into this than is here. If people are taking this as an endorsement of vehicles, that's unfortunate." Let's see… employees of a federal agency get an email from HQ with a list of twelve specific cars prefaced with "when stopping for a vehicle consider these models." If that's not an endorsement, this is not a blog post.

CNN Money reports that Saturn's pulled the plug on its "Side-by-Side-by-Side Test Drive." During the promotion, Saturn dealers provided customers with [base model four-cylinder] Accords and Camrys to compare against [well equipped V6] Auras. Saturn marketing manager Matt Armstrong declared the two-month campaign a success, claiming Aura sales increased 24 percent (against a 14 percent drop in midsize cars' sales). In fact, Saturn sold 4,694 Auras in June and 5,827 in July. That's a 19 percent increase. Camry on the other hand, dropped from 46,630 sales in June to 41,514 in July, a 12% decrease. So was Aura responsible for the dent in Camry sales? Uh…. no. Accord sales rose from 28,915 to 37,142 during the same time; a 22 percent increase. In raw numbers, Aura's sales went up 1,133 in July, Camry's decreased 5,116, and Accord's increased by 8,227. No matter how Saturn spins it, the Accord was the big winner during the GM brand's "Side-by-Side-by-Side Test Drive" promotion.

As the UAW contract negotiations heat up, so does the rhetoric. The Detroit News quotes UAW vice-president Cal Rapson on retiree health care costs: "I can tell you one thing, we are determined not to put any more costs on retirees for their health care." The comment, made during a speech at the opening of a labor exhibit at the Sloan Museum, was just what the retirees in attendance wanted to hear. If the automakers are successful in negotiating a UAW-run VEBA superfund for retiree health care, Mr. Rapson may find out it's not that easy administering anyone's health care benefits, let alone those with the demographics of retired autoworkers. It'll be interesting to see how long the UAW keeps promising no out-of-pocket increases when they're the ones responsible for paying the bills.

This Sunday's Times carried a report from "The People's Republic of Richmond" describing the effects of the London Borough's anti-car jihad, which includes proposals to charge residential parking permit fees according to a vehicle's CO2 emissions. The article paints a vivid picture of a city under siege by its own government. "Across the road, carpet retailer Martin Herdman has erected 1,000-watt speakers outside his shop that emit an air-raid siren blast whenever parking wardens are spotted in the vicinity — usually four or five times a day. An underground network of fellow retailers and residents phone in alerts, and children on bikes cycle ahead of the wardens to give warning." The rest of the piece offers the usual examination of government hypocrisy (300 parking spaces for city council staff) and greed. The most telling quote comes from a sports car-loving immigrant. “I don’t want to sound ungrateful," Zoran Jokic told the Times. "But now I live in a borough that takes away another little freedom every day. In this country we are cramped by people and cramped by legislation. It irritates me considerably, but at least in this society I still have the freedom to speak out and raise my concerns.”

Last week, I spoke with former Florida Oldsmobile dealer Robert Horvath. Horvath insisted that General Motors cut a secret deal with Toyota to deep-six Olds. Reacting to this tin foil hat analysis of Oldsmobile’s demise, TTAC commentator canfood extended his deepest sympathies. “When something so unexpected and seemingly nonsensical happens it causes people to attribute it to some kind of outside force or even some kind of supernatural event.” Less charitably, if you refuse to accept reality long enough, you lose the ability to do so. The men helming GM are on that arc.