Auto advertising seems to be aimed at one of two groups: baby boomers trying to recapture their youth or "Gen Y," the twenty-somethings Scion was shooting for– and missed. Honda has decided to split the difference and target Generation X to reinvigorate sales of their [new] Accord. Advertising Age [sub] reports Honda wants to lower the median age of Accord buyers from its current 54 to somewhere between 30 and 44-years. Only Gen X buyers aren't as "inspired" to own a Honda because they perceive the brand's current products to be too fuddy duddy. So Honda's largest ever ad spend on a single model will tempt Gen X buyers with ads embodying a more "emotional appeal." Whether Honda's PC patrol– which nixed the marketing department's idea to sell the Accord hybrid as a performance car– will loosen-up sufficiently to let the ad guys draw on Honda's Hooners and Tunerz heritage remains to be seen. 

Drive dutifully reports the results of a MINI-commissioned survey of 2,018 UK motorists on the subject of diesel cleanliness. Market-research agency YouGov (who me, Giv?) discovered that “diesel-powered cars are thought to be way behind hybrid models for cleanliness.” Those of you equipped with a functional PR BS-detector will immediately note the “thought to be” proviso and the vague “way behind” qualifier. You’ll also fail to be surprised when MINI’s UK brand manager Andy Hearn follows-up this startling factoid by revealing that his employer’s new, oil-burning model generates CO2 numbers that are “identical” to the Toyota Prius’. This despite the fact that “just three per cent believe a diesel vehicle could be considered a low source of carbon emissions.” On the subject of relative levels of particulate matter emanating from diesel and hybrid engined tailpipes, the survey and its PR lackey the Cambridge Evening News showed no interest whatsoever.

An agreement between Massachusetts auto dealer Ernie Boch Jr. and a disabled driver could impact dealerships across the country. BostonNOW reports that a wheelchair-bound customer asked one of Ernie's salesmen to install temporary hand controls so she could test drive a car. The dealership refused. The customer filed a complaint under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), stating the dealership refused to offer "reasonable accommodation" as required by the law. Nine months later, the customer dropped her complaint; the dealership agreed to purchase temporary hand controls to accommodate disabled customers. "I didn't realize how many people actually needed [hand controls]," Ernie demurred. "I don't think I placed any importance on it at first." All eight of Ernie's stores will now make the controls available to disabled drivers. Other dealers will probably follow [law] suit.

Audi's Q7 arrived at America's SUV party just as the clean-up crew were packing up and heading for home. Despite the timing, questionable looks and hideous fuel efficiency (12/17), it's a hit. Year-to-date, Audi's moved 14,458 Q7s, outselling every other American Audi save the A4. Automotive News [AN, sub] reports that Audi's looking to capitalize on this success by fitting that Billy the Big Mouth Bass snout with a 3.6-liter, 280-hp engine mated to an electric engine. The Volkswagen Group's box fresh gas – electric parallel hybrid will up the Q7's mpg count to a claimed 23 mpg (highway? combine? AN doesn't say). If that doesn't float your boat– the Q7 is a heavy old girl– Ingolstadt will also offer a 50-state compliant 3.0-liter V-6 turbodiesel Q7 producing "about" 230 hp and 400 ft.-lbs. of torque. AN couldn't get an mpg number for the oil burner, but repeats Audi's claim of a 600-mile range. NOW will you take it off road?

I suppose once you get past the idea of a "bait car" as a form of entrapment, there's nothing wrong with sweetening the lure with a laptop,  iPod, cell phone or some other piece of easily fenced consumer electronics on display. And if those items blow up when the prospective perp moves them, leaving the criminal "disorientated" and covered in bright red smoke and dye, well why not? As 24dash.com reports, not only is the methodology effective, it provides PR-hungry public servants with a highly appropriate metaphor. "I want every criminal to know that if they break into someone’s car locally there is a very good chance they will be caught red handed," Hammersmith and Fulham [London] Councillor Greg Smith opined. "And be covered in bright red dye as proof off their crimes.” Bonus! The indelible dye's provided by 3SI security systems ("the leader in currency protection"). It transfers onto the electrical equipment itself, "meaning middle men and fences handling stolen goods pay for their crimes as well as the original thief." Which begs the question: how did a bait car thief evade the police in the first place?

Carseek reports that Microsoft is forming a partnership with Siemens to develop a line of ICE (in-car entertainment) products. Their goal: improve connectivity between car music players and mobile phones by 2009. The market for such "infotainment” is currently valued at some $38b, rising to $54b by 2012. Microsoft and Siemens are hoping “to bridge the gap between the relatively rapid development cycles common in information and communications technology and the long ones that are the norm for automotive engineering.” Time will tell if the tortoise and the hair will be able to cooperate and reach the finish line together.

Over the weekend, I ate at little Rhody's most celebrated (i.e. expensive) death-by-meat-house. The experience was more-or-less as expected. As I left, the waiter confronted me with his best crestfallen/concerned expression. "Was everything all right?" he inquired. In other words, why'd you stiff me? As I'd left 10 percent of a very hefty tab, I ruled his plea out of order. Besides, the bastard had [temporarily] confiscated my knife. MY knife: a prized folding lock-back whose sharp edge makes slicing meat as easy and sensually satisfying as corner carving in a Boxster S. "Oh no, you need this!" he'd said, removing MY knife and proffering a cutting instrument straight out of Pirates of the Caribbean, with a blade as dull as Congressional testimony. In general, I don't mind surrendering authority to someone who knows what they're doing. But when someone's a bully AND an idiot, well, like I said, the waiter had removed MY knife. This reaction also explains why I detest car dealers. Sounds like Justin feels the same way. 

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Facing falling membership, the United Auto Workers (UAW) is rapidly expanding into non-automotive industries like education and health care. Meanwhile, the UAW continues its full-court press against Toyota and Honda's American factories. So far, the union's attempts to transplant unionism into the transplants' plants have been an abject failure. But try they must. And now there's a new object of their affections: Japanese parts maker Denso.

Business Week (BW) reports that VW of America's newly annointed boss Stefan Jacoby wants to resurrect the ill-fated Phaeton luxury sedan. The Phaeton was a hugely expensive machine– both in terms of development costs and its $75k to $95k sticker– positioned against BMW and Mercedes. Customers were lined-up none deep. And yet Jacoby insists dropping the Phaeton was a big mistake–  that should be corrected. "A world class luxury sedan that doesn't show the luxury all over the place and that could have the only fuel efficient 12 cylinder diesel engine… that's funky." Get down with it 'bro! Anway, fans of the brand who despair that VW will once again be off chasing moonbeams should note that Jacoby is a consummate corporate player (check the anecdote at the end of the BW post). The Phaeton was VW Chairmain (now supervisory board chairman) Ferdinand Piech's pride and joy. File this one under lip service and stand by for those small, well-built, frugal cars you've been wanting since Ozzie Osbourne's lead guitarist buzzed him in an airplane– and crashed into a house.   

Automotive News [AN, sub] is running a pro-GM byline-less piece under the heading "Running the Numbers." "Hummer, Saab: GM's conquistadors" argues that Hummer and Saab's sales may suck and the brands may be sickly, but they're worth keeping in GM's bloated portfolio because they attract non-GM buyers. The numbers certainly run in the right direction– some 61 percent and 50 percent of Hummer and Saab sales (respectively) involved a non-GM trade-in. But there's no evidence that this "new" loyalty will continue or trickle over to other GM brands. And no matter how you slice the badge-engineered Saab and Hummer pies, there's not enough of it to justify the struggling brands' ongoing drain on the company's rapidly diminishing resources. IMHO. 

As Gil Grissom might say, the evidence is incomplete. But Automotive News [AN, sub] is confirming what TTAC and TrueDelta have been saying since the dawn of time: car dealers are rigging customer satisfaction scores. In this case, it's not the usual "please give us all 10 out of tens or we'll have to shoot our sales manager and orphan his children" type fraud. AN reports that an unnamed number of GM dealers have been sending the mothership fake CSI mail-in forms and filing bogus on-line survey responses to scarf hundreds of thousands of dollars in corporate bonuses. GM sent an "unsigned bulletin" to dealers on August 14 announcing "appropriate adjustments" to third-quarter survey scores "to reflect interference." Needless to say, GM claims the fraud isn't widespread. Just obvious. Let the wrist-slapping begin!

A Dubai-based company called Fleethorse is designing an environmentally-responsible hybrid, partially powered by a horse walking on a treadmill behind the driver. (No, I haven't ingested hallucinogenic substances this morning. Yet.) An electric motor gets the treadmill moving. And then "the reserved energy, which is fully obtained by movement of the animal and saved in the battery is sufficient enough, to have the vehicle run for a fairly long distance, without having to have the animal running." Lest animal activists get concerned, "the gloss [sic] partition which forms the animal cabin is fitted with an air condition system, and this is to keep the animal safe, from that of unjust weather conditions like, rain, snow, heat or the cold conditions." They don't discuss the environmental quality on the other side of that partition, but it can't be that pleasant being cooped up in an enclosed vehicle with a horse and its associated natural emissions.  What's next… a subcompact powered by two hamsters in a exercise wheel?

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit… of Acura? Infiniti? BMW? The Cadillac brand’s been sliding downmarket for so long it’s hard to know whose tailpipes they’re chasing. Back in ’02, the CTS offered genuine hope that Caddy could recapture some long lost ground. Although the Sigma-platformed mid-sizer was too small for the brand’s aging aficionados, it was a credible throw down to Japanese and German sports sedans. In a few short years, Caddy’s competition caught up– and left CTS sales in the dust. Now, a refreshed CTS returns to the fray. Is it good enough to put the deeply damaged Cadillac brand back in the running?

Speaking to Handelsblatt magazine (via Forbes), Porsche's CEO set the stage for his company's on-again/off-again VW takeover. Wendelin Wiedeking claimed the fiercely independent sports car maker's products can't meet the EU's proposed 2012 carbon dioxide emissions regulations. While Wiedeking did include the qualifier "in their current form," he clearly stated that Stuttgart's finest couldn't satisfy Brussels regulators. "Realistically, emissions requirements can only be graded by vehicle segment. A common limit for everyone is a business generation plan for compact car makers." Which is what Porsche would be if when it assumes control of VW. Which Wiedeking will address no sooner that November, or whenever the European Court of Justice gets around to strking down the "VW law" that prohibits a change of controlling ownership. Hmmm. Sounds like a lock to us. Still…

The New York Times reports on freshly-minted Chrysler CEO Bob Nardelli's "coming out" (their words, I swear). Speaking at last Friday's Associated Press "Scribes who Lunch" affair, Nardelli tucked-in behind the other auto execs bemoaning America's cratering housing market as the bus they DO see coming. As for the one they don't, Boot'em Bob revealed that Chrysler's new board will meet in October to revise the revised turnaround plan authored by the recently demoted Tom "Jump!" LaSorda. Unlike GM's CEO Rick Wagoner's "we'll get there when we get there" timeline, Nardelli said Chrysler will be back in black in three years. As for new product, Nardelli says gimme ten. Meanwhile, for those who suspect that Chrysler owner Cerberus secretly wants to cash-out next Tuesday, Nardelli admitted their might be a little stripping– if no immediate flipping. Boot'em Bob "did not give any specifics about what might be sold but said, 'There is quite a long list.'"