The Swaziland Observer gives us evidence that automotive obsession is a worldwide phenomena, with dangerous side effects on marital relations. And for once, I'm snarkless, awed by Dumisa Dlamini's rhetorical brilliance. "These three-legged animals just love their cars and women hate the cars with a passion. From his first income, a man would neglect any sort of expenditure and concentrate on buying a car. There is a time in a man’s life where the color, shape, size and model does not matter. So long as he has a car he can call his own life better, complete and the gentleman blissful. Through his car, he can have most desires of his hearts including the very woman who comes to fight him over the automobile… Will men get rid of their cars or rather prefer their women more than the cars? This is a balance that lies deep in the man’s heart. It would seem a man without his car is like an emu- a big useless and flightless bird. He can’t have his desires, dreams and aspirations met. He cannot even afford to please his woman when his car is not around." Sigh.

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) sets Corporate Average Fuel Economy (CAFE) standards and collects fines from manufacturers who fail to meet their provisions. NHTSA recently updated their website with a list of CAFE fines the agency collected for model year '06 scofflaws. DaimlerChrysler's $30,257,635.50 penalty covers Mercedes models both imported and domestic, and represents an enormous jump from last year's cost of doing business ($16,895,472). In fact, the now defunct DaimlerChrysler's fine is the largest single amount NHTSA's ever collected, eclipsing BMW's massive penalty in 2001 ($27,985,925). That's not to say that BMW got off lightly for their '06 models; the Sultans of Stuttgart forked over $5,056,012.50 for not meeting the required fleet-wide federal mpg standard. BMW's whack just "beats" Porsche's '06 model year CAFE fines ($4,599,864.50). No wonder Porsche was trying to change the new law to get an exemption as a low volume automaker. Speaking of which, Ferrari shelled-out $842,160 to the feds for their fuel-sucking models' mpgs. As the new standards get tougher, the Germans and Italians are going to have work harder to make the grade, or dig deeper into their corporate coffers. Oh, and if you think about it, guess who really pays these fines? 

Judging from the comments on this site, the average TTAC reader is closer in age to a Buick buyer than a Sciontologist. Then again, you never know. I would have given my right testicle to find a site like this as a boy– you know, if it had dropped by then. In deference to the possibility of juvenile readers, I tend to keep the language in the posts and comments G-rated. Or at least asterisked. God knows why. Three of my four daughters– aged ten through 14– are fully conversant with every one of George Carlin's seven words you can't say on TV. I reckon it's a matter of days before my four-year-old learns that "stupid" isn't on the comedian's list. Just last week, I overheard one of these fine little ladies tell a notoriously aggressive classmate to f-off. Did I upbraid her? Yeah right. Truth be told, I'm a big fan of swearing. Although I don't swear in front of the kids, I'm not averse to a little plain speaking in unmixed company. In fact, I've toyed with the idea of using swear words on TTAC as a way to differentiate us from our more mainstream competitors. But the last time I deployed obscenity on this site in the name of art, the shit hit the fan. I received a barrage of emails suggesting that my salacious sailor-speak destroyed TTAC's credibility. Fair enough. So I want you to know that the F-bomb in the attached podcast was entirely inadvertent, although, I thought, editorially appropriate. You be the judge.

[Warning: the attached podcast contains intemperate language, including the "F-word"] 

At Tesla's recent e-town hall meeting, company Chairman Elon Musk said the erstwhile automaker "might" build some Roadsters with a temporary transmission, until such time as they can find one that lasts longer than a week [paraphrasing]. Tesla's new head honcho Ze'ev Drori has just turned that possibility into a certainty– in as much as one can be certain about any promises made by the Silicon Valley start-up. The EV-in-Chief made the new tranny for new announcement on Tesla's eye-searing blog (white on black text is against the Geneva Convention guys). "To help speed delivery of cars, we will begin production in 2008 with an interim transmission design. These transmissions will meet high standards for reliability and durability, but the car will not meet the original performance spec for acceleration, reaching 60 mph in 5.7 seconds instead of the promised 4 seconds. When the final transmission is ready, we will retrofit all cars, at Tesla’s expense, to meet the promised performance specifications." Speaking of promises, Tesla has a new new production date: Spring 2008. That said, "the ramp rate of the production volume will depend on how quickly our suppliers can ramp production of parts and how quickly Lotus can increase the rate of the production line. Because of this dependency we don’t yet know when each car will be built or how many cars will be completed in calendar year 2008." How reassuring is that?

Jonathan Schipper is an artist with a web page. The liner notes to his work take the form of an essay entitled "The Shortcomings of the Living World's Experiences vs. The Infinite Potentialities of The Universe: A DEATH CATHARSIS PARADIGM." Right, well, the above ALL CAPS TITLE refers to one of Schipper's most recent works. Mr. Schipper explains why he crashed two 1:18th scale muscle cars, but the mechanics behind the madness is much more interesting. It takes about a month to unconvincingly compress two cars together without bending the hood, damaging the bumpers or molesting the paint. And, thankfully, crashing two $30 diecast vehicles for the sake of bad art is better than throwing away $150k on the real things. Oh wait. "These are models for a full sized piece yet to be constructed." Oh dear.

Chrysler’s near-death experience in 1980 had a salutary effect on the company’s culture. Headcount was slashed by over 50 percent. By necessity, the old ways of doing business were consigned to the crusher. “New Chrysler’s” execs, managers, marketers, designers, engineers, union workers and suppliers all had to work together to find creative ways of doing more with less. With Lee Iaccoca at the helm, it was a seminal moment in Chrysler’s history: an opportunity for the once great American car company to thoroughly reinvent itself. 

When Frank and I heard that Mike Spinelli was disengaging from daily Jalopnik, we agreed: blogging ain't for sissies. To have a hope in Hell of attracting a regular audience, a blog must constantly and consistently feed the gaping maw that is the internet. As a former CNNer and borderline workaholic, I've got no problem facing an empty literary quiver every morning. I just bloody well get on with it. Frank's military discipline and undiagnosed personality disorders also qualify him for the task. But I understand that what we do requires a rare level of craft and commitment. If you think about it– and I have– every week, TTAC produces the equivalent amount of editorial as a monthly car magazine. And we're doing it for a fraction of the cost– and getting a fraction of the revenue, but that's a whole 'nother story. Anyway, all this is an excuse for why I didn't post this podcast yesterday; I simply ran out of time. Well, that and I had to drop my step-daughter off with her Dad in Boston and my brother-in-law wanted to see what The Ocean State has to offer in the way of nightlife (let's just say parking isn't a problem on Thursdays). Normally, I'd let the podcast slide and move on to the next one, but Justin had some real insights worth presenting. I think.

The Associated Press (via The Detroit News) reports that the car company that built the Yugo will be up for sale come springtime. Zastava is government-owned carmaker. Is only one in Serbia. With an asking price of less than $4k, the Yugo (I bet you were thinking the company) arrived in the US in 1986. The lackluster Yugo quickly became the poster child for cheaply made cars; Consumer Reports magazine claimed it “barely qualified as a car." Zastava produced some 15k cars in 2006, which is “far below” the company's potential capacity of 60k cars a year. Looking for a way out of the car biz, the government’s Privatization Agency placed an ad in the Politika Daily newspaper announcing that some 90 percent of the company’s shares will be sold off next April. The asking price for Zastava will be made public in the spring, but privatization minister Mladjan Dinkic says he expects “at least two major international companies to take part in the bidding." Perhaps VW fancies one more European economy brand to add to SEAT, Skoda and VW. Perhaps not. 

Oregon's Mail Tribune reports that the Beaver State will now offer motorists a chance to warn other motorists not to run over bicyclists. For an extra $10 on top of the usual license fee, Oregonians can buy a plate with the design pictured here, safe in the knowledge that an undisclosed percentage of the proceeds go to Portland's Bicycle Transportation Alliance. If drivers don't want to share the road with anyone– Oregon is survivalist central after all– they can affix plates benefiting the Elks, Masons, square dancers and firefighters. Military vets also get their own plates: Purple Heart recipients, members of the First Marine Division, disabled veterans, former prisoners of war, and five others). Graduates of seven Oregon universities are also allowed to flaunt their education on their tags, but not if they went to Southern Oregon University (for some strange reason). All of which begs a question: whatever happen to having one damn plate design per state? Setting aside the law enforcement implications of multiple iterations, a single design with a single motto provided a unifying state identity for its residents. Anything for money, eh?

[A list of all 50 states' plates– without minor variations– here ] 

I don't pretend the understand the reasoning behind the NAACP's (National Association for the Advancement of Colored People) decision to fight Cincinnati's plans to install red light camera. According to the Enquirer, "Several NAACP members Thursday said they don’t like the idea of the cameras because it would infringe on their civil rights." And they kind of, you know, hinted that prospective camera placement might be racially biased: "NAACP member Elizabeth Sanford said she thinks the cameras may unfairly target some neighborhoods more than others." But hey, the NAACP will certainly earn some brownie points for this campaign. Given the cameras' dubious safety benefits, their Big Brother implications, and the fact that East Cleveland and Steubenville have punted their town's dreams of red light camera revenue, the NAACP's petition is likely to succeed. As thenewspaper reports, the NAACP will thusly thwart the Cincinnati City Council's cunning plan to end-run Mayor Charlie Luken's red light camera veto by slipping the measure into their annual budget. Anything for a buck, eh?  

It probably seemed like a good idea at the time: introduce American car buyers to Nissan’s new cute ‘ute in an episode of NBC’s hit show Heroes. And so we see the Rogue in the hands of a world saving high school cheerleader– ensuring its chick-car status for all eternity. And then rogue crooks swipe the CUV and drive it to Mexico. Demonstrating what? The car is easy to boost? Why didn’t technopath Micah Sanders get a booster seat, take the wheel and show Ford the true meaning of “sync my ride?” All of which leaves me wondering: is the Rogue good enough to survive its own marketing?   

Volkswagen releases gas in the general direction of CAFE standards! CEO Martin Winterkorn has confirmed the company is working on an ultra-high-mileage car that will get 235 mpg, according to Greencar.com. The VeeDub hypermiler is a tandem two-seater with a Cd of 0.159 and an estimated range of 400 miles on its 1.7 gallon fuel tank. The engine is a single cylinder diesel displacing 300 – 500cc, attached to a six-speed DSG transmission. Thanks to lightweight materials like carbon fiber, magnesium and lightweight alloys, the entire vehicle weighs in at 639 pounds. VW says a limited production version could be offered by 2010. Unless VW hacks Tesla's "customer" list, the chances are the complete vehicle won't make it to market. But look for a carbon fiber wing mirror on the next GTI.

Cerberus may be positioning itself to sue Daimler for unfair business practices. They could do so– after filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection– under a claim of "fraudulent conveyance." Rather than turn this into a boring law seminar– and God knows I'm an expert on that front– let's just say that the provision in question (or not) is part of the U.S. bankruptcy code designed to stop management from hiding capital from creditors. Here's the twist: Cerberus could use fraudulent conveyance to claim that the Germans cooked the books, sneakily selling them a business they knew wasn't "a going concern." While Cerberus wouldn't get a full refund, every little bit helps AND it would be a genuine PR coup, protecting Cerberus' rep (tricky German bastards). There are a couple of caveats. First, that small matter of filing for bankruptcy. Second, Daimler could be protected by a statute of limitations, whose term depends on which country's laws govern the terms of the original sale. I'm still checking, but it appears that it's a U.S. deal, giving Cerberus a year from the transaction's conclusion to file and bite Daimler's ass. Hang on; this could get seriously weird. 

Going one better than Jerry Flint's Lutz-lust, Newsweek's Keith Naughton nominates GM's Car Czar for canonization. The business reporter's prose soars to celestial heights, enshrining Maximum Bob as the savior of the American auto industry. Yea, verily, Maximum Bob single-handedly "seeks to redefine the automobile with the Chevy Volt." And lo, St. Lutz' road to Damascus was full of potholes. "When Lutz first proposed creating an electric car in 2003, the idea 'bombed' inside GM, he says. 'I got beaten down a number of times.' So in 2006, Lutz formed a skunkworks team of engineers and designers to quickly cobble together the Chevy Volt concept car, which became the star of the 2007 Detroit Auto Show." Cobbled? Ye of little faith!
"And then he persuaded the brass to greenlight the Volt for production by arguing that they must try to seize the green high ground from Toyota." Uh, I thought Lutz WAS the brass. Anyway, Naughton perpetuates the myth that the Volt will hit the market in 2010 and sell below $30k– a piece of PR prognostication that Maximum Bob has recently abandoned. Still, it's nice to know St. Bob's journalistic acolytes are still willing to make that leap of faith, even if he isn't.

Suicidal tendencies can be pathological, inevitably recurring. Chrysler’s current self-destructive phase, as chronicled by TTAC, is hardly its first. From its very beginnings, the patient has suffered from symptoms of bi-polar syndrome. Chrysler’s biography is a nothing less than a roller coaster ride of giddy highs punctuated by disastrous crashes and self mutilation.