By on February 15, 2008

porsche-cayman-1f.jpg“Why should a female auto journalist give you advice on great date cars?” CNN reporter Sheryll Alexander asks herself. “Because as far as cars go, I know what turns a woman on and what really turns her off.” Is this some kind of lesbian thing? Anyway, these days, the majority of women “are rather picky when it comes to a guy's ride,” Alexander opines. “Your car really does send her all the right or wrong messages about how much money you make and what gets your engine running. Let's be honest, some girls just like a flashy ride too.” But Alexander counsels clueless men not to go overboard when picking out a four-wheeled babe magnet. “Most women are wary of extremes… I think personal integrity and animal-like chemistry should count way more than what kind of vehicle you drive, but I guess some guys feel that spending the extra money on a racy ride is certainly worth the dating gamble.” In the pursuit of journalistic insight– nothing to do with a personal desire to drive a bunch of sports cars for free we're sure– CNN’s self-appointed (anointed?) car guru gives us the low-down on cruisin' while cruisin':

Nissan 350Z Roadster: “Truly a he-man's ride come true whether girls like it or not.”

Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder: “Guys, you definitely can't go wrong with this one!”

Mercedes-Benz CL 550: “With the $100,000+ price tag, the ladies will definitely be swarming around this hive of vehicular comfort and luxury.”

Audi TT Roadster: “On the outside, the Audis… look truly sexy with their bubble-like hood, curvy haunches and wide back side. Yes, the Audi TT goes both ways as a great date car for both men and women.”

Porsche Cayman: “Just looking at the Cayman's curvy haunches, sexy sloping hood and racing rear spoiler would make any woman want to go for a ride.”

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33 Comments on “CNN News Bunny Advises Losers on Whip Selection...”


  • avatar

    As former Ferrari owner, I can assure you that you do NOT want to sleep with a women who wants to sleep with you because you’ve got a sexy car.

  • avatar
    Gardiner Westbound

    As former Ferrari owner, I can assure you that you do NOT want to sleep with a women who wants to sleep with you because you’ve got a sexy car. – Robert Farago

    If sex is a pain in the ass, you’re doing it the wrong way. Sleeping should not be on the agenda.

    If that’s Sheryll in the photo….

  • avatar
    blautens

    Ugh. Reason #863 why I can’t watch CNN.

  • avatar

    Only coupes? Whatever…

    I’ve seen props given to sedans, trucks (especially diesels) and SUVs at most any price point. After all, if a man can afford to feed a Duramax he can probably buy her…

  • avatar
    dhanson865

    No Sheryll isn’t in the photo you see on TTAC. She appears to avoid letting people see her but here is a dark muddy picture.

    http://www.suite101.com/profile.cfm/sheryllalexander

  • avatar
    danms6

    How many Eclipse Spyders have been sold? Like 4?

    And of course the key part to the CL550: “with the $100,000+ price tag”. Could she be any more subtle?

  • avatar
    BuckD

    Could there be a more vapid and annoying “news” piece than this?

    Besides, I rely on my impeccable wardrobe and neatly coiffed hair to attract women.

  • avatar
    starlightmica

    How about the upcoming Ford Transit Connect? you can fit an inflatable air mattress in the back in case the date goes really well, and the paneling keeps things hidden.

  • avatar

    Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder: “Guys, you definitely can’t go wrong with this one!”

    A car sure to attract women similar to it:
    Looks good, but no fun to be with (drive).

    BuckD: Could there be a more vapid and annoying “news” piece than this?
    blautens: Ugh. Reason #863 why I can’t watch CNN.

    I’d agree that CNN has gotten rather fluffy.

  • avatar

    I’d be interested in the reverse question, what message does her car send about a woman?

    Lessee, the distaff cars I remember: Bug, Fiesta, Lynx, Honda Wagon, Corolla, Taurus, Corsica, Elantra. Nothing particularly flashy there, but I didn’t really care.

  • avatar
    jaje

    You’d need the F150 King Ranch for many of the driver’s just to fit in a vehicle. Super size me!

  • avatar

    Maybe to impress her, one should just get a beat up old chevy and fill the trunk with hundred dollar bills.

  • avatar
    virages

    I drive an Alfa Romeo 147, almost turned off my now wife for being too flashy. It would have been easier if I had been driving an honest car, like a Focus or Astra… I guess school teachers aren’t attracted to sexy metal.

  • avatar
    Brendan

    …and yet another giant leap back for every woman in America. Between this puddle of drool and Lipstick Jungle it’s like they’re trying to lobotomize the XX half of the population.

  • avatar

    @Donal – interesting question
    VW Bug/Golf/Jetta or Mini- I would wear my car if possible
    Corolla/Civic – I want to get from A to B
    Mustang – My Dad/Brother/Uncle had one
    Big SUV – I’m short/small or hugely fat and am afraid of other vehicles
    Minivan – Soccer Mom
    Pick-up??

    Can’t think of any more stereotypes.

  • avatar
    yankinwaoz

    I drive a Volvo station wagon. No wonder I can’t get a date!

  • avatar

    Other “interesting” quotes from the CNN article:

    Nissan 350Z
    Remember to be sensitive about your date’s delicate hair style, so don’t put down the Nissan Z’s soft top until you have stopped at a quiet scenic spot. And the 350Z is… much like driving a Corvette — pure power, racy cockpit and over-the-top masculine styling.

    Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder
    If I were still a single woman and a date showed up driving a Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder, I’d definitely be impressed by his taste in sleek, taut and muscular-styled convertibles.

    Mercedes-Benz CL 550
    The classic yet modern curves of metal, glass and chrome on the 2008 Mercedes-Benz CL 550 say: “I’m a gentleman with power who loves style, confidence and grace.” (And I’m rich.)

    Porsche Cayman
    I have fallen in love with driving any Porsche as this marquee truly knows how to thrill a driver, especially when you become one with the Cayman’s not-too-soft and not-too-tight manual transmission while cruising down the 5 Freeway to San Diego with spectacular Pacific Ocean views.

    And, the Cayman is actually Porsche’s least expensive coupe, starting at just $49,400 or so for a racy ride and standard all-leather black interior. When you really think about it, that’s not too much to pay for speedy sex on wheels.

  • avatar
    John R

    Bah! In college I had a ’95 Mazda 626 with a set of 17″ Konigs wearing Z-rated Fumitomos. Despite that, I got more than enough attention from the ladies.

    Not because of the car, but because I knew how to be…how do you say…funny, charismatic, being able to listen.

    Trust me you don’t want a woman who’s intrested because of your car. They may look good but you’ll want to punch them in the back of their head once you know them.

  • avatar
    NickR

    Nice of CNN to confirm every negative thought I’ve had about women and what motivates them. Reminds me of the old Winston Churchill story.

    ‘Madam, would you sleep with me for a million pounds’

    Women ‘My god, I am so flattered’

    ‘Would you sleep with me for 5 pounds?’

    ‘What kind of a woman do you think I am?!!!!’

    ‘We’ve established that…now we are just haggling about price’

  • avatar
    Landcrusher

    Upside of a girl in a Wrangler – she has a sense of adventure.

    Downside – she may prefer to take another girl on the adventure.

  • avatar
    AKM

    As former Ferrari owner, I can assure you that you do NOT want to sleep with a women who wants to sleep with you because you’ve got a sexy car.

    Seconded (without the ferrari). I want a woman who’s hot but can help pay the bill and take out the garbage, not one that wants a ride in a convertible. If anything, my ideal woman is able to buy herself her own convertible (or, like my wife, has chosen to work for a non-profit instead…).

  • avatar
    Landcrusher

    Another point,

    Did CNN consider that a story written by a married mother who tried the cars out for herself may not be the right stuff?

    They need to get an attractive, single woman/women to investigate by going on dates with a man driving the car.

    What ever happened to journalism?

  • avatar
    Virtual Insanity

    Reading some of the extra comments…

    The 350Z is powerful like a ‘Vette? Has she even ever driven both? I guess they both have a decent cruise, but, uh, mid 12s=/=high 13s.

    What happens if my car isn’t on the list, but can beat all of them in your standard contest of speed?

    And in closing, the only thing I think when I see a guy driving one of the new Eclipses is “I bet he and his boyfriend are so happy together.”

  • avatar
    Subifreak

    Must be a slow news day at CNN.

  • avatar
    timoted

    As former Porsche owner, I can assure you that you DO want to sleep with a woman who wants to sleep with you because you’ve got a sexy car. That’s half the fun of owning a car like that!

    I no longer have the Porsche or the women that rode in it but, I sure as hell enjoyed the journey!!!!!!

  • avatar

    Hmm. Time to sell everything and buy a Porsche I think.

  • avatar
    ronbo456

    I’m a Ferrari owner and the only interest my car generates is from teenage boys.

  • avatar
    NickR

    AKM ‘I want a woman who’s hot but can help pay the bill and take out the garbage‘

    AKM, I have some bad news for you…

  • avatar
    NICKNICK

    a porsche can get you laid. this is news? from cnn? this is the best they can do? and i’m supposed to look to cnn for election coverage, why?

  • avatar
    Johnson Schwanz

    Honestly, I pull more premium strange in my Honda Passport than I have in my BMW 335 coupe.

    I don’t get it…both are clean…

  • avatar
    Stephan Wilkinson

    The only time I might have scored specifically because of the car I was driving, it was a Lamborghini Murcielago (press car, I should point out). Stayed at a very fancy resort with it one night in Arkansas–yes, they sho’ nuff have them–and at dinner by myself, an attractive middle-aged blonde came to my table, sat down and said, “Honey, wasn’t that you I saw gettin’ out of that DeLorean in the parking lot.

    Couldn’t get it up after that.

  • avatar
    Megan Benoit

    Of course it makes a good date car. But just wait until she’s knocked up and you realize that there’s no way you’re getting a baby seat into your baby, if you know what I mean. Then you become one of those sad bastards who is selling his soul… er, Z, for a minivan or SUV. I’m not saying to not buy a fast two-seater, i’m just saying you’d better not get too attached to it.

    The smart guys get something with a backseat, so when the sprog does come along, you don’t have to sacrifice anything but your dignity.

  • avatar
    Ms Ellen

    I am flattered that my blog gave Ms Alexander the idea she needed to create this well written article.

    Funny how similar, but considering I posted one day earlier….I’m sure she had hoped to emmulate the same humor, creativity and suprise ending that I was able to caputre.

    But she fell short of making it to the final lap. Kudos for explaining to the reader all the intricate details of the car. I’ll stick with the matchmaking part:)

    Blog on,
    Ms Ellen

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