Hummer is GM's only coherent brand. They have two models endowed with an instantly recognizable Picasso-friendly (cubist) appearance. Love 'em or hate 'em (and most people are firmly in the latter camp), everyone knows what a Hummer is: an overweight off-roader with a cheap, cramped cabin and/or a pseudo-military middle finger salute to any idea of fuel conservation. For reasons best left to students of the story The Golden Goose, USA Today reports that "General Motors wants people to start thinking about Hummers as big old trucks built to do a job, instead of as gas-guzzling SUVs for the rich." According to J.D. Power, Hummer doesn't deserve that rep. "The name Hummer connotes a much more gas-guzzling vehicle than really is on the road today," Jon Osborn declaims. "Really, it gets about the same or as good gas mileage as several other (SUVs)." Oh, that's alright then. Anyway, the new game plan: sell Hummers as vehicles built to do a job– that just happen to get 14mpg (or less). "Late last year, GM began airing ads that show other 'tools'— firefighters' gear, a flare gun, a climbing rope— and then show a Hummer, which the ad says can scale 60-degree [sic] inclines. In another commercial, newspaper clippings about blizzards and floods dissolve into a Hummer forging through the disasters to help. Both ads end with the tag line: 'Purpose built.'" Hummer owners may be saving the world, but environmentalists aren't buying it (literally). But then, why would they?
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“Apology ads” are what I call them.
Just watch any Sunday morning network political show, and you’ll see plenty of corporate giants telling you how “human” they are.
Dow Chemical is a good example.
Not to be cynical, but “money” trumps “humanity” every time.
I got an idea then: let’s send the hummer drivers to Iraq and Afghanistan, where they and their purpose-built vehicles can truly make a difference by helping U.S. soldiers.
Hey, why are they all switching to Priuses all of a sudden?
Haha… GM’s bulldozer quote is totally moot.
Do people commute to work everyday in a bulldozer?… no. Are people using Hummers as how they’re built for?.. no.
GM makes ridiculous statements to justify their existence to the consumers. Somehow, just somehow, it’s working, as the majority of automobile consumers are quite thickheaded nowadays.
If everyone drove Priuses, everyone would be safer… (less weight differences) though what’s the point in capitalism when everyone’s driving the same car?
“No one criticizes a bulldozer for its gas mileage. That’s because it’s built to do a job”
How many mums pick their children up and do the shopping in a bulldozer?!
As for “doing a job”, do me a cheesy quaver! If Hummers are tools for a job, then stop marketing them as regular cars! Actually that’d be a good slogan for Hummer:
“Hummers are tools; just like our drivers…..”
Capitalism is evil, didn’t you get the memo?
Anyway, I think GM is passing on a golden opportunity here. Just like OnStar equipped vehicles get their first year of service free, H2’s and H3’s should get a TerraPass. That way, you can still give back to Mother Gaia (financially speaking, of course).
Funny thing is… I have yet to see a Hummer covered in mud, or even dirty….
I have always wondered why someone would want to drive something that so closely resembles a vehicle that our soldiers are dying in. Along with that, the fuel costs to operate it have to make this one of the more irrational purchases that one could make of a vehicle.
I don’t know… I wouldn’t mind commuting to work in a bulldozer… I’d be able to clear the roads before the plows get there so I can avoid, you know, sliding on black ice and stuff.
But, since the Hummer is compared (or really, based on) a military vehicle, why doesn’t GM compare Hummers to tanks? Tanks get even worse mileage than bulldozers, but no one seems to mind terribly the crazy poor fuel mileage (I think it’s something like several gallons a mile.)
The 4 Hummers in my neighborhood are duly needed. It’s when we get 4 inches of snow and they need to scale their 3 degree inclined driveway. Or when they need something to wash repeatedly as they are addicted to worshipping their status symbol of wealth. I think I saw a Hummer once off road – parked on the side of the road which ironically I think was out of gas. What is funny, one of the Hummer guys owns a landscaping company but he can hardly use it to tow or even haul stuff – the point of a landscapers vehicle.
If you off road and have a large family – I can forgive the Hummer or Excursion owner. When this vehicle is meant only to be driven by soccer moms and dads where it is merely a status symbol – I pity them. Yes I own a 3/4 ton 4×4 pickup. I almost never drive it unless we have very bad ice or I need to use it as a truck such as hauling 50 2x4s from the hardware store or towing a car. On occassion I drive it down the street to get groceries so that it is constantly driven or in really bad winter weather – in fact pulled a guy in a Lincoln Mark something out of a field after he slid into it – seems people think summer tires on RWD cars are great in snow.
Actually — some people do complain about the fuel economy of a bulldozer. Not least the companies that have to operate them, which would love to save a buck on running costs. Neighbors near construction sites tend to complain about the noise and soot produced by their diesel engines, which have no pollution controls, rather than mpg per se.
And who complains about the fuel economy of a tank? The military, for one, which has to manage an unwieldy supply tail in the middle of a war zone in order to keep them topped up. As things currently stand, the tradeoffs in size, weight, speed and fuel economy are the best they can get. But one would be foolish to think that the Army is not highly interested in new technologies that can help them reduce fuel consumption while keeping their other properties.
Purpose built for what? The technical data sheet reads much like every other half-ton truck GM builds, only with worse mileage. Have any of you seen any of the videos of H2s snapping their tie-rods doing light off-roading? I can’t think of one situation where a (new) Hummer would be better than a 4 door Jeep Wrangler, which gets nearly 20mpg. I support off-road sports and am not particularly worried about the evils of tailpipe emissions, but the new Hummers are just obsurd vehicles.
It would be a cheaper war if we mounted anti-tank missiles and machine guns on a Prius, and send them to Iraq.
Ths ad is truly rediculous. The people I know with hummers dont want to get them diry or scratched. There must be a name for this kind of advertising. Something like “bullshit”, or a new special from comedy central.
Nevertheless, if someone wants to pay a gazillion dollars a year for gas, so what? Id rather take vacations with my money, personally. People might also have a 6000 sq foot house to heat and a/c, and seven cars. so what.
I prefer small cars. But thats me. I dont give a damn what others buy. I just don’t want to listen to them complain that gas costs alot. Or that somehow they will come and get me after a storm! oh please…. This is the pretention that GM seems to want to say that they don’t have.
Similar sized trucks are all over the place around here, one or two people in them usually. I dont understand the attraction. But I also live in a big city, small is very necessary. I giggle at suburbanites quiveringly trying to park their perfectly waxed not a scratch blinged out hummer on a city street. It usually draws a small croud of amused onlookers. It’s pretty funny.
also, NBK-Boston: you said:
But one would be foolish to think that the Army is not highly interested in new technologies that can help them reduce fuel consumption while keeping their other properties.
I beleive that they are NOT interested in fuel. After all, they have us to give them all they want, with not even a note of complaint from us.
ever.
Late last year, GM began airing ads that show other ‘tools’— firefighters’ gear, a flare gun, a climbing rope— and then show a Hummer, which the ad says can scale 60-degree inclines.
I have seen these Hummer ads (and others) and they quote the ability to scale a 60 percent grade, not a 60 degree grade. People often get this confused.
Grade is rise over run so a 60 percent grade rises 60 feet for every 100 feet traveled which makes it about 31 degrees. That’s still steep, but not 60 degrees.
I can’t think of one situation where a (new) Hummer would be better than a 4 door Jeep Wrangler, which gets nearly 20mpg.
I can; everyday driveability and, especially, highway ride. Neither is smooth, but the Hummers are better and they have full-time four wheel drive which is better for on-road use as well.
I support off-road sports and am not particularly worried about the evils of tailpipe emissions, but the new Hummers are just obsurd vehicles.
I know some people with Hummers and they are all pleased with the off-road performance (yes, they use them off road). I don’t think they are absurd (I guess that’s what you meant) vehicles at all. Many who buy them never use their potential, but that can be said of almost any vehicle on the road.
I wonder how many Corvette owners actually go to the track?
What I’d like to know is how did GM convince Hummer dealers to sign on to a franchise. At the time they had 1 vehicle in mind. So maybe they talked up the H2. Then what; H3, etc. Obviously the distinctiveness factor would be shortlived and they’d be competing with Jeep stuff. As far as I know, Hummer dealers are required to at least have a separate building, and that alone takes awhile to amortize. Dealers who sell regular vehicles can depend on something of a used market to help them survive, but with gas at $3, the market for used Hummers might be a little soft.
Plee:
I have often wondered why someone would want to drive something that so closelyy resembles a vehicle that our soldiers are dying in.
I believe the answers are simple: 1:)EGO and having something the neighbors DON’T. 2:)It all comes down to STATUS !!!!!!!
The average everyday person dosen’t need the capabilities of a Hummer. How much off road terrain is traversed on the way to the nearest mall, school or soccer field?????
I have never hated Hummers. (Even the GM one!)
My wrath goes to the douchebag drivers of said Hummers. Usually some middle-aged fat guy or mere-wisp of a soccer mom trying to be cool, and failing miserably.
As was said earlier, I have never seen a dirty Hummer. Much like I can’t remember seeing a clean Wrangler off a dealer lot.
Plee:
I have often wondered why someone would want to drive something that so closelyy resembles a vehicle that our soldiers are dying in.
Because by association, said drivers feel tough and part of the military. In which case, why don’t they join and see that being a soldier is more serious business than playing in an SUV all day long?
Hummer
Owners
Prepared for
Emergencies
I burst out laughing. I’ll bet those soccer moms don’t even have a book of dry matches or a package of useable band-aids in their pocketbooks. Never mind the thought of carrying 5 gallons of water, a flashlight with live batteries, basic hand tools, rescue blanket, flares and a shovel in the Hummer.
Oh… and duct tape. Don’t leave home without it.
I dare GM to ask their customers how many of them actually use their Hummers for their “intended purposes” ?
Katie – “Hummers are tools; just like our drivers…..”
Priceless!
A friend of mine has a Hummer H3 which can do 20mpg on the highway. That’s respectable. I also used to think that Hummers are purely for poseurs, wrong! The dealership where my friend leased his H3 put on a SERIOUS off-road event one weekend. Most people who turned up were cube dwellers and their families, so I thought we would need helicopters to get them unstuck. The Hummers handled the mud and water so well that those novices could move right along. Maybe 10% of the attendees were experienced off-roaders, and they helped out when someone did get stuck. It was a very fun day and all 50+ Hummers were FILTHY!
If you are serious about going off-road, then you don’t want a Hummer. As others have pointed out, a Jeep Wrangler would make more sense. I don’t have a problem with people owning Hummers; it’s a free country (supposedly). But, lets be honest, you own a Hummer for attention (a perfectly reasonable use for the two businesses in this city that own them) and/or to look tough.
KatiePuckrik: “Hummers are tools; just like our drivers…..”
Bwah ha ha ha!
KatiePuckrik: “No one criticizes a bulldozer for its gas mileage. That’s because it’s built to do a job”
How many mums pick their children up and do the shopping in a bulldozer?!
There was recently a TV commercial (for the Hyundai Santa Fe, I think) that showed their (sensibly-sized) vehicle surrounded by other people driving bulldozers and other earth-moving equipment (representing not-so-sensibly-sized full-sized SUVs). It was a good commercial. Wish I could have found it on “You Tube”. If I could have, I would posted a link.
But, lets be honest, you own a Hummer for attention…
What car that isn’t a plain Jane family car isn’t purchased for attention? Hell, you can say the same thing about a Prius. Fool yourselves into thinking you got it because it’s an ultra sipper, but how many folks would put their money down on a Corolla if that had a hybrid variant?
“No one criticizes a bulldozer for it’s gas mileage”
I love GM’s logic.
The argument for off-roading can unfortunately go either way for Hummer. If you strictly want the most bang for the buck buy a Wrangler. If you want the luxury, look at me factor (the H2 is “played out” as far as this is concerned anyway), and have the desire to spend over 60 large… buy a Land Cruiser, or better yet, a Range Rover.
All three of those will duly hand the H2 its ass on a trail and get (slightly) better fuel economy while doing it (but don’t fall for the tree-hugger hype either, the Navigator gets worse economy than the H2). Not to mention the non-tupperware interiors on the latter two. And before anyone tries to post it, that video that’s been floating around on YouTube (created by a dealership; Lynch Hummer no less) is a complete farse for many reasons which I will not digress into here.
I own a 2003 Range Rover, and my friend owns a 2004 Rubicon TJ. His TJ will pretty much out-anything my Range Rover, and they both in turn will out-trail the lumbery H2. Truth is I actually like the H2, but I can not *STAND* when excuses are made for it.
The H3 is a much more sensible alternative (in the I5 version) for those who really enjoy trail-riding. GM truck reliability is really the only ace up the H2s sleeve.
Quasimondo, “Hell, you can say the same thing about a Prius. Fool yourselves into thinking you got it because it’s an ultra sipper, but how many folks would put their money down on a Corolla if that had a hybrid variant?”
Again?
A Corolla hybrid wouldn’t get the same fuel economy; the Prius’ shape has significantly lower drag.
You might as well ask this about the Prius and the Honda Civic Hybrid. The Prius offers more luggage space, significantly better fuel economy and has a lower sticker price.
The average everyday person dosen’t need the capabilities of a Hummer. How much off road terrain is traversed on the way to the nearest mall, school or soccer field?????
The average everyday person doesn’t need the capabilities of a Honda Accord, either. A base model Fit would work for many of them.
As was said earlier, I have never seen a dirty Hummer. Much like I can’t remember seeing a clean Wrangler off a dealer lot.
I see very few ‘dirty’ Wranglers. Maybe more of them go off-road, but most of them are just as clean as most Hummers.
Just because the owners of a particular vehicle don’t use it for it’s intended purpose or to its maximum capability doesn’t make it a bad vehicle. There are plenty of good reasons to criticize Hummers; the interiors aren’t great (they are much better in 2008), the H2 is too big for trails, although it is capable, and the H3 5-cylinder is underpowered (remedied by the Alpha).
I’ll ask again; how many Corvettes actually see track time or even spirited driving on the road? I would be the percentage is fairly low.
If you off road and have a large family – I can forgive the Hummer or Excursion owner.
If you have a large family you won’t be buying a Hummer unless you consider three kids a large family. You’ll be buying a Suburban, or Tahoe with a third row seat if you need better approach and retreat angles.
HOPE’s web site:
http://www.hummerhope.com/
Their video looks like a slick GM PR job. I wonder how much they get from GM in donations.
I still don’t understand what a Hummer H2 gets you that a slightly modified Chevy Tahoe or GMC Yukon doesn’t. Here’s a stock 2002 Tahoe climbing a hill that looks a bit steeper than 60%:
I see very few ‘dirty’ Wranglers. Maybe more of them go off-road, but most of them are just as clean as most Hummers.
Especially the new 4-door wranglers. Haven’t seen a dirty one yet.