This season the blokes over at BMW have blessed us with two relatively diMINuative product announcements. First, they showed us the MINI Clubman. It's antithetical to the MINI brand, it's ugly, it's impractical, the micro suicide door is only on one side, the barn doors obscure vision and it's ugly. You should hate the Clubman as if it had slept with your ex-girlfriend. And she liked it. As if that wasn't too much, this week MINI previewed the John Cooper Works (JCW) performance packages that will officially be unveiled at Geneva. Though hideously overpriced, the JCW pack gets 'er done, We're talking a horsepower boost (to 207hp), upgraded suspension, a new performance exhaust and some crass alloys. But the JCW's real coup: how it transforms the already ugly Clubman into the ugliest car currently on sale in the United States. MINI says the Clubman is a more practical MINI; with the JCW package it really is da bomb [paraphrasing]. I reckon it's so vile that it may, in ten years, have all the reverse appeal of the Pontiac Aztek.
[Pixamo gallery of the Gorgonesque Clubman here.]
“But the JCW’s real coup: how it transforms the already ugly Clubman into the ugliest car not produced by Chrysler currently on sale in the United States.”
There, I’ve fixed the typo.
I don’t find it that bad. Certainly not worse than the new Impreza. Still couldn’t buy it as stepping inside a MINI and looking at the dash immediately triggers epilepsy.
Much of Mini ugliness with dissipate after driving the little dude.
I agree with AKM – I don’t find the Clubman that bad. And I’m guessing I won’t see whole fleets of them, unlike Sebrings.
Just doing the math, that makes Chryslerebus a much potent offender than Mini.
Once again breaking a good thing. The Xb was another example of if it is not broken, don’t fix it
I don’t think it is that bad either. Got more original style than most of the offerings of GM and Ford North America put together. Whether you or I like that style is another thing.
Bring on more imaginative, quality small cars please!!!
We’re Mini owners and love the Clubman. Going to be our next car for the wife. Why? We need just a little more space and don’t want to have to go a lot larger. I keep saying it makes sense to flesh out the line a bit and with with this cheap to develop and produce vehicle you really can’t go wrong even if they don’t sell many. It’s not an Xb mistake since it doesn’t change the original Mini. I’m not sure why people have to portray things like this as so black or white.
It’ll grow on me. I’d just like my tail light surrounds to be body colored.
Glad to hear I’m not the only one who thinks the Mini clubman is ugly. Sorry to hear that I appear to be in the minority. I find the Mini Cooper to be cute, but I thought the Clubman was ugly from the first pictures I saw of it in a Motor Trend magazine. While it may be more practical than a Mini Cooper, based on what I’ve seen it’s hardly practical in general.
What does “antithetical to the Mini brand” mean? It’s small and frugal, right? Isn’t that the “mini brand?”
A lot of automotive writers complain that auto makers aren’t introducing something new and innovative but when they do, many of you slam it because it doesn’t look identical to everything else on the road.
My guess is that the Clubman outsells the regular mini in just a few years. It’s a more practical car for most buyers. And the same goes for the purported Mini SUV or crossover or whatever they are calling them these days. Adding a 4 door model just makes sense because, you know, people grow up and they have kids. At that point a 2 door car just isn’t practical.
I had high hopes for the Clubman when it was first announced. After seeing it though, not so much. The single suicide door and the “barn doors” killed it for me.
Basically this isn’t supposed to appeal or be of utility to everyone. It’s a niche car and as such is polarizing. I like the “bread van” look myself, but it’s a matter of personal taste.
@beetlebug – i agree, it’s definitely not for everyone. i think it’s endearing but i can see many others not liking the appearance.
beetlebug :
February 26th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Basically this isn’t supposed to appeal or be of utility to everyone. It’s a niche car and as such is polarizing. I like the “bread van” look myself, but it’s a matter of personal taste.
It’s not as cute as the MINI, but I don’t think bringing up the Aztek is justified at all. I suspect they will tone down some of the gimicks in a year or two, and it will look fine.
My only problem with the Clubman is the “accent color” c-pillars and rear bumper. They look terrible in nearly every color combination I’ve seen. I was hoping that like the other MINIs you’d be able to order the car all in one color, but if you go to the MINI site, you have to get these, even if you go with body-color mirrors and roof.
They do actually look worse on the JCW, because the center stripes plus the barn doors, plus the c-pillar colors make the back end WAY too fussy/busy.
It’s a shame, too. The Clubman could be a good fit for my next car needs.