Tesla Motors has apparently run out of toilet paper again. Valleywag reports that they're off in search of another $250m to keep the lights on fund development of the "Whitestar" electric sedan. That's right, if you have a quarter of a billion dollars burning a hole in your pocket, you too can invest in a company that has produced exactly one working "production" car (delivered to the company's CEO) in five years, in exchange for over $145m and Federal regulatory exemptions. I'm not an expert, but this strikes me as a particularly optimistic investment. Oh, and Tesla also wants a guaranteed loan from the Department of Energy to build a factory for these new electric sedans. To quote President Bush, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me – you can't fool me again." [NB: I know we're a little late to this story, but that's kind of appropriate don't you think? And here's an old video for potential investors that shows the critical coverage given Tesla by our blogging pals. Driving range of 250 miles. Yeah, right.]  

Infiniti is, for all intents and accounting purposes, a U.S. brand. Last year, Nissan's luxury division shifted American customers' expectations– I mean sold brand fans 127,038 new vehicles (93,717 cars and 33,321 SUVs). And now Infiniti's heading across the pond to convince European buyers that, uh, what's their tagline again? It's not on the press release. Or the Euro-press website. Uh-oh. Despite a deeply worrying lack of branding, Infiniti is set to open some 80 stores throughout the Eurozone. The world's snobbiest car market. Where logical competitor Lexus has gained about as much traction as a Prius attempting a hill climb in a blizzard. To gauge Infiniti's chances of carving out a niche in the home of the luxury car, I rang-up Infiniti Euro Comms. Director Wayne "No Comma" Bruce for the inside dope on the dealers and the marque's plans for luxury conquest sales. [Podcast below] Bruce reckons sporty value-priced products, exclusivity and bespoke customer service will carry the day. Yes, well, the longest journey starts with a single FX: the new model's ready for its Geneva debut. It'll be the first new Infiniti revealed outside the U.S. Infiniti's going to need that kind of commitment– and then some– to make this venture work. Meanwhile, the brand is being "nurtured" in the Middle East.

There's a commercial for an insurance company where a driver wrecks his car when his GPS tells him "turn right…" and he does so before it can add "…in fifty feet."  As Computerworld reports, these kind of incidents actually happen in real life. There've been several reports of trains hitting cars after the Darwin Award candidate behind the wheel followed the sat-nav's directions to turn onto the railroad tracks (the drivers managed to escape unharmed). Others have driven into ponds and lakes, sandpiles at construction sites or gone the wrong way down one-way streets because they trusted their GPS and ignored road signs. It's gotten so bad in England that they've started posting "ignore your sat-nav" signs in the areas where the problems occur the most. Of course, if the idiots don't believe a sign that says "one way" or "road closed," why would they pay attention to one telling them to ignore their electronic back-seat driver? [Thanks to KixStart for the link]

When I get press releases, there's always an "about whatever manufacturer" paragraph at the bottom. Normally I don't read it; it's just marketing hyperbole. But today, Chevy's 'claimer" caught my eye. "With the largest dealer network in the United States, Chevy is the leader in full-size trucks and the leader in sales of vehicles priced $35,000 and above. Chevrolet delivers more-than-expected value in every vehicle category, offering cars and trucks priced from $9,995 to $83,175." Huh? Why's the Bow Tie brand– GM's supposed entry-level, value-oriented division– bragging that they sell the most vehicles in the "$35k and above" category? With the median new car price hovering around $27K, that's a whole lot of high-priced rides the "value division" is selling. Yes, much of what Chevy sells at the $35k and up price point are trucks and SUVs. But the fact that the spinmeisters view Chevy's $73k price span as a virtue reveals the depths of GM's non-existent branding strategy.

GM wants to greenwash the youth of America. Today's "Chevy Rocks the Future" event at Disney Studios "for celebrities and young influencers" features performances by pre-pubscent fan favorites the Jonas Brothers and Hanna Montana (a.k.a. Daddy's little cash cow). More than 150 LA-area kids scored tickets to the exclusive event, many by attending the Chevy's public school-based "Promise to Live Better!" propaganda educational program.  "Chevy Rocks the Future" will showcase the Aveo5, Malibu Hybrid-lite, Camaro "Bumblebee" from the "Transformers" movie (a real fuel miser, that), Equinox Fuel Cell, Tahoe Hybrid and, of course, the "this isn't what it will look like but we're not going to talk about that because we wouldn't want to miss Hannah Montana now would we children" Volt. But that's not all! The lucky kids will learn all about automotive technology via a "car that pops popcorn using biofuel technology" and a "'hybrid laboratory that mixes chocolate and peanut butter for a winning combination." For more PC fun, read the full press here. 

Chrysler's standing by. At 4pm EST, a federal judge will rule whether or not the American automaker owns the tooling that makes the plastic parts they need to build cars. Should the court rule against bankrupt parts supplier Plastech and green light a Chrysler reclamation, a fleet of trucks are ready to swoop in, grab the tooling and whisk it off to other suppliers. According to Automotive News [sub], Chrysler has already signed letters of intent to relocate production with three of their other suppliers, with more sub-contractors "angling" for a piece of the Plastech pie. Wherever the toolings end up, ALL Mopar assembly lines will shut down while they're installing the equipment in its new homes– which could take as long as a week. Or… a year if Plastech's testimony to the judge is accurate. Which would kill Chrysler dead. If you're going with the former scenario, a shutdown could be a blessing in disguise; Chrysler's inventory levels are too high as it is.

Yes, I know: that's a bit like asking if Hillary Clinton believes in social Darwinism. But given the amount of grief TTAC receives for its purported "anti-GM' and "anti-Detroit" bias, I want to point out that we avoid editorial decisions that unfairly portray Motown's playas as incompetent. For example, we don't report every Big 2.8 recall (fairness would demand coverage of all recalls). And we take exception to the Detroit News column "Teacher is plagued by theft of 15 Chryslers." Neal Rubin's piece blithely calls Chrysler products "easy pickings." "Historically, says director Terri Miller of Help Eliminate Auto Thefts [HEAT], Chrysler 'has not been as proactive as other automakers at putting standard anti-theft devices in their vehicles.'" That's it? HEAT is a tip line that doesn't break down of thefts by manufacturer. Rubin also unfairly disses Chrysler's customer service. "Among Jenny's suggestions [emailed from Chrysler] was to park in 'lighted areas, garages or neighborhoods without a history of stolen vehicles activity, whenever possible.' 'Great," Fulton fired back. 'Are you going to drive me to work?'" (Nice 'tude.) In his conclusion, the writer casts aspersions on Chrysler's current security systems. "Most of all, she wonders about this new Sentry Key, an ignition immobilizer offered on every Chrysler product except the Dodge Viper since last year. The company says it's foolproof. Says Fulton, 'We'll see.'" I call hatchet job– which is what you won't see here. 

[You are free to discuss TTAC's bias or lackthereof in this thread] 

In Michelangelo Antonioni's film "Blow Up," Thomas (David Hemming) watches a rock guitarist smash his ax and toss the remnants into the audience. Caught up in the spirit of the moment, Thomas joins the scrum scrambling for a piece of the dead guitar. He grabs the lion's share and runs away. Dozens of fans give chase, attempting to wrest the prize from his grasp. Finally, Thomas is clear of the crowd. Alone with his treasure, he contemplates his booty– and then casually tosses it into a nearby trash can. Nissan GTR anyone?

Ferdinand Piech is the Porsche family patriarch [still] pulling the strings at Volkswagen. Wendelin Wiedeking is the Porsche executive who would be king of VW– once Porsche takes control of the mass market motor maker. And Der Spiegel [via Just-auto, sub] is the magazine that says that Piech wants to kick Wiedeking out of the corporate jet, golden parachute and all. Motive: Piech believes that Wiedeking has become too powerful and autonomous. He wants to replace Wendy with Wolfgang Reitzle, the high-living executive who ran BMW well enough– and convinced Ford to lose billions creating its ill-fated Premier Automotive Group (Jaguar, Land Rover, Volvo, Aston Martin and, latterly, Lincoln). Means: Piech's family still controls VW. Opportunity: VW's unions are unhappy at the prospect of surrendering board seats to the numerically inferior Porsche workers. All that said, VW moved to quash the rumor. "The report about a supposed contact between Piech and Reitzle with regard to the replacement of Wiedeking is nonsense and lacks any foundation," a Volkswagen spokesman told Reuters. "Piech has had no contact with Reitzle for years, and has none currently." Ah, but what of intermediaries…?

Honda's Insight was America's first hybrid (1999). While the Deco-skirted skinflint's choice was a far more distinctive-looking and fuel efficient machine than the Prius, Toyota's gas – electric model had the edge on practicality (four seats vs. two). When Prius sales caught fire, Honda dumped the Insight in favor of a hybrid Civic, and then Accord. Sensing the new models invisibility (zero green creds), Honda's marketing department wanted to promote them as earth-friendly rocket ships (the Accord Hybrid was the fastest variant). Unfortunately, political correctness ruled (ruined?) the day. After going nowhere fast (saleswise), Honda axed  the gas – electric Accord. And now Honda's ready for another go. The Motor Authority says Honda's opting for a three-pronged hybrid sales strategy. First up: a "global hybrid" that's both smaller and cheaper than the current Civic hybrid, based on the Fit platform. (Barring foreseen internet leakage, it will debut in Paris.) Next, the Civic Hybrid (why not? they already make it). And then a range-topping somethingorother, based on the CR-Z hybrid concept pictured here, unveiled in Tokyo last October. We know Honda's got the engineering chops to give Europe's micro-car owners a decent run for their money. But can Honda hit the design/practicality sweet spot currently occupied by the Prius? As always, you'll be the judge, ASAP.

According to The Economic Times, Tara Shankar Ganguly, grandson of the founder, has revived defunct Bengal Enamel (don't ask) as a new-age electronics and telecommunications firm. Under the brand name Tara, Bengal is teaming with Chinese EV maker Aucma to develop battery-powered two-wheelers, three-wheelers, small cars, even buses and lorries (OK, trucks) to provide Western-style freedom and mobility for India's middle class. At present, Tara has more names (Titu, Micro, Mini, Tiny) than actual vehicles. But with a price of only Rs 99,999, the four-seat Tiny seems positioned as a Nano-killer. Yes, the four-seat Tiny will cost one less rupee than the one lakh ($2,500) Tata Nano. Other Tara models could range as high as Rs 5.5 lakh (~$13,750, I guess). While no one (other than us) is talking about range, and the Tiny must be recharged daily at a 220 Volt/15 Amp socket, it should nip along at a respectable 50 to 70kms an hour. So the Tiny by name (and by nature) will go fast enough for its intended market, but will it sell fast enough to sustain Tara's renaissance? We'll keep an eye on it for you. 

Buried in an AdAge.com interview with Toyota GM Bob Carter: a quote that brings to mind the bon mots of GM Car Czar Bob Lutz. After Mr. Carter lauds Toyota's hybrid domination– an 80 percent U.S. market share with a supply-restricted 67 percent growth rate— the Maximum Moment™ arrives. Carter declares that "it's not our position that the hybrid is [the] solution to the future. We're looking at high-efficiency gasoline, clean diesel, fuel cells and the plug-in hybrid." While it's an ostensibly sensible position, Carter's remark must come (or will come) as something of an eye opener to ToMoCo's Veep for Drivetrain Development. Back in May, Masatami Takimoto told the Motor Authority that hybrids will be the Japanese automaker's standard drivetrain by 2020, 'cause synergy driven vehicles would be "no more expensive to produce than a conventional vehicle." So, does Carter's cautious climb down make him "Minimum Bob?"

With the Fiat 500 Abarth and 500 Abarth SS set to debut at the Geneva International Motor Show in March, e-Fiatisti have been eagerly awaiting the inevitable internet sneak peek leak of the scorpion-branded Toppolinos. Andiamo! Autospies.com brings us this official (if photochopped) image of the "small but wicked" Abarth. With its 1.4-liter turbo four making 135 horsepower at 5,500 rpm, Fiat's mighty midget is only stage one in Abarth's twisted scheme to make Europe's Car Of The Year speziato. Stage two? The 500 Abarth SS, which Auto Motor und Sport reckons could stump-up 180hp. If so, that's a full eight horsepower more than the Euro-pocket rocket standard bearer, the MINI Cooper S. Which is, methinks, the point. In any case, it remains to be seen if the Abarth's TTC (Torque Transfer Control) kills front wheel-drive helm squirm and/or makes the Italian [toy] stallion a better steer than its Germano-British competition. TTAC central command has charged our man Schwoerer with that particular piece of investigative journalism. Bastardo. [TTAC welcomes Edward Niedermeyer, son of contributor Paul Niedermeyer.]

[Pixamo slide show of new Fiat 500 Abarth here.]

Here they are: new bigger, clearer pictures of Volvo's upcoming XC60 crossover. And the Swedish CUV isn't quite as ugly as I'd previously suggested. It is however, at least as boring. Volvo is taking the microwaved-car route to auto design, and you can really see it here in this droopy liquid XC60 crossover. It's still front/all wheel drive, it still depends heavily on Ford family DNA, and it's still about as practical as a wagon– if you're lucky. Will this design progress kill Volvo's image for smart but safe European designs? Or is it just what they need to prevent a repeat of their 1990s box blandness that started to really cut into sales? The truth about cars. Again. Still. 

[NEW XC60 Pixamo slide show here.]

It happened innocently enough: an email about 24 Hours of LeMons visiting my favorite stomping ground, Houston's Motorsport Ranch. After securing the blessings of The Powers That Be, TTAC got the green light to play down and dirty. What else would I do with an overabundance (yeah right) of free time and a $75 Lincoln LSC originally bought for parts? Take a page from Cerberus: strip and flip that bitch! Everyone knows the 5.0L powered Lincoln is the Rich Man's Mustang, but only if it sheds luxuries for a curb weight of 3300lbs or less. Hell, the Recaro-esque seats are 75lbs heavier than a Mustang! And just like ye olde 5.0 Pony, its 225hp makes for a strong beater on MSR Houston's straights, with 300lb-ft of torque for quick apex exits and ABS intervention when needed. With the Fox Body's Lego-like parts interchangeability, plenty of local junkyards and a friend with mad welding (i.e. roll cage) skills, this could very well happen. TTAC is ready to do battle. Watch this space!