Actually, UK scribe Steve Wakefield says nothing of the sort. In fact, his review of the new Bentley Brooklands doesn't offer much in the way of literary thrills. But if you're a student of serious horsepower, hand-stitched pampering and tightly focused branding, Wakefield's luxury car liturgy will be music to your ears. For those of you who can't get enough power, the £230k two-door is "powered by the most powerful V8 in the company’s history:" a twin-turbocharged 6.75-liter mill that stumps-up 530bhp @ 4000rpm and 1050Nm of torque at 3200rpm. (No mention of mpgs.) Good thing customers can opt for the largest brakes in the world: 420mm, cross-drilled, carbon/silicon carbide fronts with 356mm rears. And the factoids keep coming! The Brooklands makes the 50 to 70mph "overtaking dash" in just 2.4 seconds, tops-out at 184mph (or more), boasts "the largest rear seat area of any production coupé in the world" and handles well (you know; for a car that weighs more than southern Rhode Island). For some reason, Wakefield feels obliged to end his piece by touting the car's "infinitesimal impact" on global warming. He also advises Brooklands owners to middle finger salute the greens. "It’s a statement, an opportunity for the world’s richest to say, 'This is going to be my car. I’m going to enjoy every minute spent specifying it and driving it.'"  

Bill Reinert was born in coal-miner's daughter country, worked in the engine rooms of Navy subs, survived a $6 pot bust and earned degrees in biopsychology and energy engineering from the University of Colorado. Reinert also serviced telephone towers in the Rockies, harnessing solar panels and windmills to charge batteries to conserve expensive, airlifted diesel fuel. After years of pitching his ideas to his [new] bosses at Toyota, Reinert helped design the Prius hybrid, and continues to work on hybrids for Toyota's US operation. As part of a lengthy "End of the Oil Age" feature on Bloomberg, Reinert reveals himself as a bit of a doomer, with well-worn predictions that we may descend into Mad Max territory. Framing Reinert's work, he Sierra Club complains that Toyota has moved backwards on being green. And the money men say trucks and SUVs are still ToMoCo's core business. "The company earns about $6,000 before taxes in the U.S. on an SUV," David Healy of Burnham Securities insists. "That compares with a $1,000 profit on a Corolla and a small loss on a Prius." Selling 181,221 hybrids may be impressive to outsiders, but if Toyota is losing money on each Prius… Is Reinert's baby still the way forward? That remains to be seen. 

Edmunds' Inside Line (EIL) is reporting that fewer and fewer consumers are opting for V8 engines. True dat. Despite gains in efficiency and weight, less folks aren't flocking to the fat lady. EIL blames the V8's lower fuel economy. The other, unexplored reason: four and six cylinder engines are larger in displacement than they were ten or fifteen years ago, and they're cranking out levels of power formerly reserved for V8s. (The gearbox revolution– that's taken everybody from four-speed autos to five, six, seven, eight or infinite gears– has certainly helped.) The numbers tell the tale: the 1998 Mercedes E320 had a 3.2-liter engine with 215 horsepower. The larger alternative: a 4.3-liter V8 with 275 horses. For the upcoming model year, the E350 will have 3.5-liters offering a whopping 300+ horsepower. The "our six now makes more than the V8 of a decade ago" philosophy also applies at BMW (305 hp I6 vs. 282 hp V8), Infiniti (330 hp V6 vs. 266 hp V8), GM (304 hp V6, 290 hp I6 vs. 250 hp V8s), and pretty much everyone else. Let's face it: in cars weighing between 3000 to 4000 lbs, the common folks don't have much use for engines with more than about 300 horsepower. Why would they pay to upgrade to a V8 when basic acceleration is so good? Why indeed.

Small car lovers of the world, rejoice! Small car lovers of America, break out the freaking Dom. Pictures released yesterday (sorry, I was out trying to get a "real" job) indicate that FoMoCo's gone from zero to hero with their next gen Fiesta. Although Ford's European offerings (and the Focus in America when it was first released) were among the best steers in their respective classes, they were about as visually appealing as fish sticks. The new production pics indicate something more along the lines of pan-seared Chilean sea bass. Unlike the Chevy Volt, the new Ford Fiesta has a high probability of hitting the North America market in 2010. Chances are we'll see an hecho en Mexico sedan. And in a rare break with tradition, the production Fiesta will maintain the "alien's face" style dash from the Verve concept. Although the Fiesta faces formidable competition– Fit, Yaris, Versa, Accent, Aveo and Spectra– the sooner Ford's gets into the game, the sooner they can claw back some cred in the vital value arena.

[View a Pixamo slide show of the new Fiesta here.] 

In January '08, GM told the world that Buick sold 12,749 vehicles, an increase of 6.1 percent over last year. But wait a minute– if you look at sales per franchise, they racked-up just four sales each (three cars and one truck) in January of both years. Multiplying the four sales per franchise by the 2700 dealers Autoweek says hang out the Buick shingle gives a total of 10,800 sales in January. So where did the other 2k cars go? My bet's on fleets, even though GM says their sales numbers are dropping because they're going through fleet withdrawal. You also have to wonder about the other lot queens that suddenly had a sales spike in January, like the Pontiac G5 (up 50.2 percent) or the Chevrolet Equinox (up 47.7 percent). Further stretching GM's tenuous credibility: their insistence that the Buick Enclave is such a hot seller they can't produce enough and have to put customers on waiting lists. If that's so, why did they start January with a 26-day supply on the dealer lots and end the month with a 41-day supply? I know: looking for transparency from GM is like fishing in a pile of dirt.

You know that perfect storm that I keep predicting for Detroit? Keep in mind that the metaphorical meteorlogical phenomenom requires a confluence of jumbo-sized atmospheric disturbances. So, what have we got? Well, even if we restrict our forecast to Chrysler, we've got parts supply problems, too many products, too many bad products, too many dealers trying to sell bad products, not enough customers willing to buy bad products, lousy marketing, killer competition, a private equity firm with all the patience of a crack head, and a CEO whose M.O. is cut and run. Add to this looming prospect of GMAC going belly-up. Bloomberg [via Automotive News, sub] reports that Cerberus founder (and current Chrysler owner) Stephen Feinberg sent a letter to investors warning that GM's finance arm faces "substantial difficulty" if credit markets do not improve (what are the chances?). Last year, GMAC lost $1.6b in the first quarter, and $724m in the fourth. If GMAC's mortgage and car loan biz sucks to the point of collapse, Chrysler Financial isn't likely to be hale and hearty. At some point, Cerberus will have to switch into dump mode. They'll throw the automaker and their two financial units into Chapter 11. What would happen to GM, which owns 49 percent of GMAC and depends on the finance arm for cheap car loans? That's another story…

After Tesla Motors chairman Elon Musk got the first production Roadster earlier this month, Tesla Founders Blog reader Pete asked the ex-jeffe when he'd receive his (he's supposed to get Roadster number two if/when they ever get it built). Martin's response:

I don't yet have a date for my car, Founders Series number 2, though they say the next cars will be delivered in March. I was the second person to deposit $100K, well over a year ago, and I have a certificate signed by Elon stating that the second production car is mine. As of today, I am a bit worried that they will pull something on me. I hope I am wrong, but I recently got a very bad signal from them.

Musk asked a reader to inquire into the delivery date for his car. No such answer was forthcoming. On February 10, "Yanquetino" wondered if Tesla was muzzling Musk:

I am fairly confident in my ability to read between the lines of previous posts, but now I'm just going to ask point blank: is Tesla suing you? Only a negative answer is warranted, i.e., "NO, Telsa is NOT suing me." If, after a couple of days, you still haven't given said reply, or have removed this post from the blog, well… then we'll know how to call a spade a shovel.

As of today, Martin has not responded, even though he has replied to other comments posted after that date and the post is still on the blog.

While many tread-bare tires are used as fuel, retreaded or recycled, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency figures that about a quarter of scrap tires are left in landfills. Enter Lehigh Technologies. CNN reports that the Naples, Florida tech firm slices ‘em and dices ‘em, freezes ‘em with liquid nitrogen, then shakes ‘em, crushes ‘em; cuts, sands and grinds ‘em. The resulting powder can be used to make new tires, wheel wells, bumpers, paints and/or coatings. Lehigh Technologies says they can grind-out up to 100m pounds of the fine black powder per year. Pulverizing rubber is not new, says Mike Blumenthal, senior technical director for the Rubber Manufacturers Association. But like justice herself, Lehigh grinds its powder exceedingly fine. 

When I bought my second Rex, I nearly bit the bullet and went STI. But I like to haul more than ass. So I sacrificed balls-out speed for cargo capacity and bought the five-door WRX (again). The good news: starting now, Subaru's hottest rally-bred machine is available only as a hatch. The bad news: the new STI costs $14k more than the WRX. Is it worth it?

So, here we are. The interim agreement between Chrysler and bankrput parts supplier Plastech that kept mission critical car parts flowing is set to expire. Earlier today (Thursday), Chrysler asked a federal judge to let them remove tooling from the bankrupt parts suppliers' premises. If so, Chrysler says they could be up and running with new parts in less than a week. According to Automotive News [AN, sub], Plastech's Veep of Ops called bullshit. "I don't believe that," Donald Coates testified. "There's no way it could be done in 4 or 5 days." So what's the real deal? Matt DeMars, Plastech's president of interior and exterior business, pegged the necessary transition at 24 to 30 months. Coates testified that removing the tooling would mean "four or five assembly plants would be idled within five hours of a shortage… followed by material shortages at 11 or 12 plants within 72 hours, with all plants affected within a week." Richard Schmidt, Chrysler's senior manager of materials supply operations, said "vehicles could be assembled without some parts and wait on a factory lot until the parts are added. But that could create quality problems. Vehicles could be damaged by parts being added out of sequence. Customers also would face delays as their vehicles wait on lots to be completed." Customer delays? In Chrysler's dreams. Meanwhile, Chrysler's nightmare continues…

UPDATE: As we predicted, Judge Phillip Shefferly urged Chrysler and Plastech to extend their interim agreement. Next Tuesday, at 4pm EST, Judge Shefferly will rule on Chrysler's request to remove tooling from the bankrupt parts maker. 

So here I am, grimacing as I down the backwash of my umpteenth Diet Coke, trying to stay on top of the automotive news flowing through the blogosphere, knowing that I've got to edit Brock Yates column, upload Jonny's STI review and tweak Glenn's blogposts. Wondering when the Hell I'll write a GM Deathwatch. And it doesn't look like I'll EVER attend to all the e-housekeeping BS and clear either of my inboxes. All of which worries my OCD like one of those stupid pop songs. And yet, while I struggle with information overload, Manny Lopez, the heretofore unknown (at least to me) Automotive Editor of The Detroit News, decides to devote an entire column to the death of the muscle car. Hang on; didn't Scott Burgess columnize on that very same subject, what, three days ago? Although Lopze tips his editorial hat to Burgess, the suit says nothing new on the subject– and says it less well. My theory: the death of the muscle car has become something of a touchstone for Motown's macho men. If you want to be a real "car guy," you have to beat your breast about the trend away from hairy-chested V8 machines. Well screw that. As Jonny Lieberman demonstrates in this podcast, there's nothing wrong with loving both "fire breathing" rear wheel-drive iron and way cool fuel miserly city cars. The fact that two car reporters for the city's newspaper of record don't "get it" tells you a lot about that town's culture– and its future.  

[Justin Berkowitz is MIA. No doubt he will surface eventually.] 

Audi is in a quandary. Just Auto [sub] reports that the German automaker has reached their quota of SUV names starting with "Q." Nissan quarreled over Ingolstadt's use of Q7 for their Toureg/Cayenne-based SUV, claiming it impinged on the quintessence of their Infiniti "Q" model names. Then Nissan quickly reached an agreement to let Audi use Q5 and Q7. But Nissan now wants to quell Audi's plans to add Q3 to their model queue, saying it's time for them to remain quiescent. Audi has no qualms about pressing on, saying they've had quiet discussions about achieving their quest for the Q. Only one question remains unasked: when it comes to increasing the world's quantity of SUV's, why doesn't Audi just quench their plans and call it "Quits?"

"So many vehicles are being snatched from owners who stop making payments that some repo operators and auto auctioneers say lots are overflowing." This from USA Today; another sign that the U.S. automotive market is headed for the buffers, Big Style. Thomas Webb, chief economist Atlanta-based Manheim auctions, says that repos will rise 10 percent this year– for the second straight year– to 1.6m vehicles. As TTAC warned at the time (and subsequently), Webb says "overly generous" auto loans in the past couple of years are driving-up defaults, leading to a surge in repossessions. Last month, Wells Fargo wrote off $1b in auto loans, compared with $857m in '06. The new figure represents 3.5 percent of its portfolio; the bank says it expects a higher write-off rate this year. As repos increase, they flood the market with used cars, lowering residuals, trapping more and more customers in "backwards" loans. Burned banks (and credit companies tied to automakers) also raise their rates, making it harder for carmakers to move the metal. One part of a perfect storm? 

If anyone has a spare $6.1b or so laying around, former GM division Delphi would like you to give them a call. According to the Detroit News, that's how much dinero the struggling parts maker needs to exit bankruptcy. However, because of the poor credit market, they're having trouble raising the money. If they don't get it, they'll have to rework their plan and head back to bankruptcy court– and continue paying professional and legal fees totaling around $10m per month. Delphi has few options; they're probably asking GM to foot the bill or using pension funds in return for a stake in the company. Despite GM's insistence that they're sitting on a healthy cash pile, the beleaguered automaker's hardly in a position to shell-out that kind of "investment." As far as using pension funds in concerned, Ron Gettelfinger is opposed. Even though the United Auto Workers (UAW) boss has had no discussions with GM or Delphi on the matter, Automotive News [AN, sub] reports that Gettelfinger asserted "we're not going to let Delphi rape a pension fund." You might wonder if Big Ron should have added "That's OUR job," but I couldn't possibly comment.

There's a great Simpsons episode where Homer learns that as a child he got a crayon shoved so far up his noise that it went into his brain and made him stupid. The crayon is removed and voila — he's a genius. Only that's not working out, so he decides to get the crayon pounded back into his noggin. Only how deep? Moe the bartender uses a mallet to pound the crayon in a little bit and then talk to Homer to gauge how dumb he's getting. Long story short, Homer is back to being a moron when he exclaims, "Extended warranty? I'll take it!" MSNBC.com is reporting that a pack of scam artists (e.g. Vehicle Services in St. Peters, Mo.) are mining the country for folks with Homerian IQs. Auto warranty firms are scamming ignorant consumers with high pressure warnings that their warranty is about to run out. Final notice. This is your last chance. They're also calling people on cell phones and at 4:00 am. Those feeble-minded enough to purchase $3,110 extended warranties find that they cannot cancel them or get a refund (we're shocked). What if your car should actually break? These extended warranties don't do much in that situation, either. D'oh!