The Pontiac G5 Coupe reminds me of John Steinbeck’s classic novel “Of Mice and Men.” Best-laid schemes aside, no car deserves more to be taken out to a field and shot in the back of the head. This brand-engineered blight bleeds bureaucratic bumbling. No doubt someone at GM figured that Pontiac should share some of the Cobalt love with a derivative of their own (a la the Cavalier/Sunfire). Rather than taking a pass-worthy platform and making it into something worthwhile, they gave us the G5, “lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain.” 

It's hard to describe the feeling a newsman gets when he's covering a big, breaking story. Sure, there's an element of ego gratification, a sudden, heightened sense of self-importance. But when push comes to shove and the world as we know it suddenly tilts on its axis, a real reporter feels humbled by events. Now I'm not going to equate Chrysler's dalliance with disaster with the end of the Vietnam War, 911 or any of the other momentous events I've witnessed as a jobbing journo. But make no mistake about it: when old Detroit judders to a halt, it will be a big story. American business will change forever. Of course, you could argue that it's already changed. That Detroit is the last relic of a bygone time, when men wore hats to work, smoked cigarettes and succeeded in business without really trying. But you don't need me to tell you that inefficient, Detroit-style enterprises still exist throughout this great land, in every field of endeavor. When GM, Ford and/or Chrysler throw in the towel, it will sound the death knell for the rest of the dinosaurs, marking the end of an era as surely as Richard Nixon's resignation. If you watch closely, you will see a gradual realization that humanity's second wave, mass production, is finally being replaced by something infinitely more sophisticated. One door will close, another will open. God willing, TTAC will be there to watch it happen. It is the best of times, it is the worst of times. 

Given half a chance, most car guys would spend big bucks pimping their wheels. Needless to say, their better half ain’t buying it. So neither are they. While aerodynamic addenda and wikkid wheels are [ultimately] a less costly ego enhancement than regular spa treatments, all car mods tend to appear fairly low on the list of financial priorities known as the family budget. But guys, it’s time to go to the mat. Literally.

Ladies and gentlemen: SEAT's future sports-sedan, the Bolero! Traditionally, SEAT's mid-size Spanish sedans were called Toledo. But in 2004, Seat presented a half sports-car-wannabe, half-MPV, half-sedan Toledo Mk III. Fresh name, fresh start. The Bolero will try to refocus the Spanish brand on its alt Alfa mission. (The "Auto Emocion" slogan of the Martorell manufacturer is a match for the Italian "Cuore Sportivo"– on paper.) Seat claims their entire line-up will be subjected to a fitness cure. The Bolero will be the new wave's main exponent, based on the previous Audi A4 (B7) As with all other non-German cars built on German platforms, the Bolero will be slightly larger than it's organ donor, with an up-sized radiator grille. Curved spoilers, muscular lines in dynamic tension should differentiate the car from the less-flashy German step-brother and re-project the prerequisite "Auto Emocion" intention. If it loses the half-MPV bit, I might be interested in driving it.

[For more Avarvarii photochopistry, click here]

It looks like Chrysler got out the old checkbook and paid Plastech some money to ship the damn parts already. USA Today reports nothing more than the fact that the two companies are doing business again, which should result in a production restart at Chrysler's four idled factories and two de-accelerated plants within a few days. Automotive News [sub] says it's strictly an interim affair; the deal only runs through Feb. 15. So the fat lady ain't singing. More accurately, the fightin's in 'rounds. Just as Delphi bedeviled GM for years, this dispute will go through several more permutations before it's done. Even if you don't factor in lawyer's fees, this little "spat" has already cost Chrysler millions. More importantly, one wonders what effect Plastech's insurrection's had on Chrysler's other suppliers. Will they be more willing to go to the mat when Chrysler comes calling? Count on it. Chrysler's ability to do business with its suppliers just got a whole lot tougher. 

I'm not quite sure this is news, as you'd have to be a rivet counter to spot ANY difference between the new Dodge Challenger interior and any other of the crap interiors Chrysler is currently wrestling with its supplier to shoehorn into its lackluster range of car, minivans, cod Jeeps and pickup trucks to avoid bankruptcy long enough to sell the whole kit and caboodle to the Chinese. But here it is, courtesy allpar.com: proof positive that Chrysler thinks it's OK for the cabin of a retro muscle car to look and feel like a nasty ass rental car. Honest to God folks, how hard could it have been to do SOMETHING unique here? Can you imagine the SMELL? If not, smell ANY of Chrysler's other products. While I'm sure the Challenger will sound authentic enough in SRT8 trim, I wouldn't pay a plug nickel to live inside this plastic Hell. But it looks like the boys over at Autoblog would: "The Mustang and Camaro might have more exciting designs, but the ergonomics and controls in the revived Dodge ponycar look well thought out." Oy.

Marketing Daily reports that Lexus is set to tout their mondo hybridity in a new ad campaign. The mag says the automaker's new hybrid-touting TV spot shows a classroom "where a teacher suddenly pauses as kids are doing the alphabet because the h has gone missing; a guy looks quizzically at a sign for a "otel"; a woman typing on a computer finds that the H key is blank, as is the h in Yahoo; a pickup truck in the desert passes a sign reading "Welcome to Uta"; a TV announcer reports a story sans the letter h." The announcer reveals that all the h's have "simply found a better place to live; one that looks forward, not back." Which must please Yahoo no end. Or maybe it does; Lexus uses Yahoo! Autos Groups for the forum accompanying its new website, ThePowerofH.com. A site that tells us that "h" is "the power of change" that stands for "an unshakeable beliefe that every problem has a solution and technology will lead us to it." I guess these guys missed all those B-grade sci fi movies that disproved that theory but good. Meanwhile, here's my fave Lexus hybrid ad. [NB: I smoke drugs.] 

If you build a "sport" version of a CUV does it then become an SCUV? Or is it a CSUV? Whatever you call it, Bloomberg tells us Ford's planning a sport version of the Edge CUV called, strangely enough, the Edge Sport. Just what constitutes a "sport" version is a matter of some debate. (Well it is now.) To pistonheads, a sport model usually implies more power, better brakes and improved handling. To Ford it means standard 20-inch wheels (optional double dubs) wearing low-profile, 40-series Pirelli Scorpion Zero tires. And an "eight-piece Edge Sport body kit… integrated fog lamps and a lower grille insert… sport badging, polished dual exhaust tips, 'foundry gray' smoked headlamp and taillamp lenses… dark gray leather seats [that] feature unique suede-feel patterned inserts in a combination of light and dark gray." Oh, and "an appealing etched metal effect on the instrument panel center console." After the Blue Oval Boyz introduce the Edge Sport at the Chicago auto show, the not-so-mean machine will go on sale later this year as a 2009 model, aimed at buyers who want their factory rides pre-pimped. Or it that semi-pimped? Semi-pre-pimped? Half caf semi-pre-pimped? Are we there yet?

Right about now, U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Phillip Shefferly is deciding the fate of Chrysler Corp. If he rules that parts supplier Plastech must surrender its Chrysler-related tooling, Chrysler will live to die another day. If he rules that Plastech has the right to keep the machines, Chrysler will have to play ball with Plastech (indeed the judge may "force" both sides to play). And if Chrysler agrees to pay the supplier on a shorter term basis for its parts than the usual 90 to 120-day basis, and all the other parts makers want a piece of that action, Chrysler's cash pile will fail and it will still head for the buffers. Anyway, the star.com reports that the lack of plastic parts has cut output by about half at Chrysler's Brampton (300, Charger and Magnum) and Windsor (Dodge Caravan and Chrysler Town and Country) plants. "Ed Saenz, Chrysler's corporate communications manager, said the company will be able to operate the two plants on four-hour shifts until the end of the week before completely running out of parts." Just like a labor strike, every day this drags on, it costs Chrysler millions. It's highly unlikely they could last more than three weeks before filing.  

Cadillac is like the guy who hits his head against the wall because it's fun to stop. Only they forgot the stopping bit. Australia's GoAuto reports that GM's premier luxury brand will not do the right thing and send the brand-defiling sales flop known as the Cadillac BLS back to whatever corner of Hell is reserved for hideous mutants. "An American GM insider suggested to GoAuto that the next-generation BLS – which may be made in America or Mexico since it shares much of its Epsilon II architecture with the next-generation Saab 9-5 and 9-3 due in 2009 and 2010 respectively – will have bespoke bodywork as well as a stronger driving character, as Cadillac attempts to redress two of the biggest criticisms levelled at this vehicle." See? They just don't get it, do they? Meanwhile, according to GM Car Czar Bob Lutz, the new "entry level" Cadillac ATS "is, or would be, about the size of a BMW 1 Series – maybe just a tiny bit bigger to enable larger wheels.” Based on GM's new rear wheel-drive Alpha platform, no less. Maybe. Yup, you guessed it. "Alpha is still under consideration, but we haven’t kicked off any design work or any engineering work because we have to sort our way through this 35mpg task." Maybe someone should tell Lutz and co. that a bad plan is a whole lot better than no plan.  

Richard Parry-Jones is Ford's former chassis guru, the man who worked miracles for Ford of Europe's mainstream motors. icWales.co.uk reports that the Welshman isn't enamored with the ongoing assault on motoring in the name of climate change. PJ told members of the Cardiff Business Club (at The St David’s Hotel & Spa) that CO2 emissions must be reduced by all sectors; cars are only a part of the climate change problem. In other words, don't throw the four-wheeled baby out with the rising bath water, boyo. “Should we not look again at the sheer cost effectiveness of cars providing transportation and pleasure to society and embrace and encourage new car technology and improved road capacity?" Hey, good luck with that. Meanwhile, the Commander of the British Empire (CBE) wants his fellow Welshmen to know he's not a car slut. "I am pro-mobility and I am pro the environment – and actually I think most of us are.” If only common sense were common.

Yesterday, Consumer Reports (CR) rated Cadillac’s new CTS a better whip than both a BMW 328i and Mercedes C300. Never mind that CR preferred the Infiniti G35 and Acura TL. A Bimmer had been bested by a Caddy! This is news! Bimmers are the buff book benchmark! Yes, well, tying the commercial success of BMW’s 3s and 5s to their on-road abilities is a perfect example of false synchronicity. While many models are justly coveted for their dynamic delights, their on-road performance is tangential to their sales appeal. BMW’s mojo lies elsewhere, in a more precarious place.

Ford will build the Verve (or whatever they end up calling their subcompact) in Mexico. And we know this because…? The Detroit Free Press reports "two people with knowledge of Ford's production plans" told them so. Although Ford refuses to identify the location of their new subcompact's fabricator, it appears the concessions given by the UAW still don't make a U.S.-built economy car a profitable proposition. Global Insight's NA light-vehicle production managerdoesn't see "Made in America" making a comeback anytime soon. "In general we see capacity in the U.S. dropping," Haig Stoddard advised. "And continuing to gradually rise in Mexico." That's at least until the automakers replace most of their older UAW work force with cheaper new hires. But even at the lower $14.20 per hour rate, American workers still make a lot more than their Mexican counterparts. Between that and the Mexican government's willingness to contribute incentives, well, it's a slam dunk. No matter where it's made, Ford needs the Verve now. Arriba!

A couple of years ago, I expected the United Auto Workers (UAW) to sink The Big Three (as they were known at the time). Scanning the situation at bankrupt parts supplier Delphi, I thought the union would strike rather than accept pay cuts and kill Detroit. Either that or Detroit would pay them off, burn all their cash and die. I didn't envision the creation of a $37b UAW slush fund (a.k.a. a health care VEBA) that would "convince" the bosses to surrender their members' future without a fight. But I did note that Delphi's bankruptcy was a bad omen. If GM's own former division couldn't make money building parts for Detroit, what hope for other suppliers? And if the suppliers went under… As today's Chrysler factory shutdown proves, a chain is only as strong as its weakest link. For decades, The Big 2.8 (as they are now) have beaten-down their suppliers. Their constant abuse has turned "partners" into adversaries. It's this relentless pursuit of profit — at the expense of human decency– that's poisoned Detroit's relationship with its paying customers. And now, as Chrysler faces the consequences of their sour supplier relations, the situation proves an adage that informs all my analysis of Detroit's inexorable slide into bankruptcy: as you sow, so shall you reap. Or, if you prefer, payback's a bitch.  

Just as TTAC's Samir Syed was getting himself all hot and bothered about the car price differential between new cars in Canada and the U.S., Toyota ran him a nice cold bath. The automaker is slashing its Canadian prices to reflect what Stephen Beatty, managing director of Toyota Canada, calls the 'new normal.' Driving.ca reports that ToMoCo CA's cutting the manufacturer's suggested retail price (msrp) on 16 Toyota and Lexus models by a range of $750 and $8,100. Some examples (all in Canadian dollars): a Yaris hatchback drops five per cent ($750) to $13,165; the RAV4  falls 6.8 per cent ($2,000) to $27,400; the Tacoma pickup truck drops 10 per cen ($2,290) to $20,470; and the Lexus IS sports car decreases 13 per cent ($4,650) to $31,900. Beatty denies that a two percent drop in Toyota sales spurred the move. "This isn't about weakness in the marketplace… There is a difference structurally today in the marketplace from where we were last year." Oh, do the math and the RAV4 is still more expensive in Canada than the U.S. I guess the new normal is the same old you-know-what, only less.