Under former Toyota Prez Jim Press, Chrysler has decided to get a bit more touchy-feeling with their customers. Nothing wrong with that. Their new blog, Chryslerlistens.com, follows GMNext.com's desire to pay lip service to web 2.0 establish closer contact between automaker and consumer. In case you thought Chrysler might begin this exercise in e-Glasnost with a mea culpa of some kind (as if) or at least a little humility, a writer named Jordan Graham opens the "dialogue" with a mighty blast of bombast. "In case you hadn't heard (living in a cave, perhaps?), Chrysler has unleashed the mother of all promotions, aptly titled 'New Day.' Calling this a 'major deal' would be akin to calling the Jeep® Wrangler 'outdoorsy.'" Wow; insult the customer to draw them into a conversation. I've got one thing to say about that: 0 comments. Anyway, we Googled the unattributed Jordan. LinkedIn tells us that he's a "Writer – Electronic and Broadcast Media; Executive Speeches at Chrysler LLC." In the past, he was "Marketing Communications Intern at Michigan Suburbs Alliance; Marketing Communications Intern at Michigan Veterinary Specialists." Some might say Jordan's elevation to spokesperson for Chryslerlistens.com indicates the company's gone to the dogs, but I couldn't possibly comment. Anyway, here's Graham's intro to this ad: "Without further ado, some visual aids to help you process this mind-blowing development…" 

Do you happen to be an "engineer for hybrid development and transmission controls"? Is your title "Project Engineer High-Voltage Safety and Batteries?" Or, as a matter of fact, do you do anything at all that touches the hybrid field? Then Porsche wants you! In a recent full-page, national newspaper ad, Porsche revealed that it's not ashamed to admit that its hybrid talent pool is a bit, er, thin. But the ad also indicates that (oddly enough), the automaker's taking this gas – electric stuff seriously; no mild hybrids for the sons of Ferdi. According to Automobilwoche [sub], the first model on which the (new) engineers will be able to cut their teeth will be the second-generation Cayenne, starting in 2010. The Panamera sedan will be introduced in 2009, but it won't be hybridized before 2011. Other politically-correct plans include lower weight: The Panamera's four doors will probably be made of magnesium. (Let's not be callous and picture the bright colors in which a Panamera with Li-Ion  batteries and magnesium doors would burn). Even Diesels, God forbid, are on the horizon. According to Porsche's boss Wendelin Weideking, oil burners are being "taken into consideration." Porschefiles, the end is nigh.

With tomorrow’s Super Bowl XLII looking to silence the web, ForbsAutos.com [via MSNBC] offers a guide to NFL players’ whips. To wit: Orpheus Roye, a 6’4”, 330-pound, defensive tackle with the Cleveland Browns, owns seven vehicles: a 2004 Mercedes-Benz CL-Class coupe, a 2005 Land Rover Range Rover Supercharged, a 2006 Bentley Flying Spur, a 2007 Mercedes S550 sedan, and a “massive” 2007 Maybach 57S. “The Maybach makes me feel like I’m a king," he says. Which vehicles are the most popular amongst the football elite? “Every player wants a Yukon, Tahoe, Denali, Escalade, or a Range Rover. You’re not a ball player if you don’t have one of those in the garage,” says Kevin Shuler, of Elite Auto Concierge in Atlanta, GA. [Sample Forbes' NFL players' automotive slideshow here.]

Reuters reports that a former Daimler finance manager was sentenced to serve five and a half years in jail for embezzling more than 22 million euros ($32.5m) from the German automaker over a five-year period. A Stuttgart court ruled the 42-year-old man had submitted fake invoices for computer services and forged supervisors' signatures to obtain up to 2 million euros ($2.95m) at a time. Across the border in France, a court has fined Volvo 200k euros (nearly $300k) after the driver of a Volvo 850 TDI lost control of her car, killing two children and injuring another. The driver claims the brake became very rigid and she could not stop in time. Volvo is expected to appeal the decision. Meanwhile in Israel, a venture group known as C.En, says it’s developed a safe, lightweight hydrogen tank for automobiles. "The tanks will be like a battery that can be replaced and you can carry a reserve in the car," says Moshe Stern, who leads the project’s investor group. Unlike other systems, this one uses hydrogen gas rather than liquid. “We are looking now for one of the giants to adopt our technology and support it," Stern says. Uh sorry, the Giants have more pressing plans at the moment.

Experts predict pump prices will spike by as much as 50 cents a gallon later this year, as refiners and gas stations switch from winter- to summer-blended fuels. Speaking to AP [via the Pittsburg Post Gazette], analysts blame an alkylate shortage. This little-known and expensive gasoline additive replaced MTBE two years ago, when regulators found the potentially cancer-causing additive seeping into ground water. The oil companies deny they’re limiting production of alkylate. Valero Energy GM John Pickering says their Paulsboro refinery in New Jersey makes enough alkylate to meet its needs, but concedes that there is a national shortage of the additive in the spring and summer. Other refiners say they’re reluctant “for competitive reasons” to reveal how they blend gasoline, or whether they face alkylate shortages. Little wonder Hawaii passed a law (yet to be enforced) requiring local oil refineries to reveal their pricing practices.

According to a study by the Texas Transportation Institute, urban congestion drains the U.S. economy of 4.2 billion man hours and 2.9 billion gallons of fuel per year. The Wall Street Journal reports that the I-95 Corridor Coalition is tackling the problem with Inrix. The subcontractor will gather real-time traffic data (via satellite) on over 2.5k miles of highway, including I95 from New Jersey to North Carolina. Inrix will then beam the data to state transportation departments, who will offer it to motorists via the Internet, mobile alerts and road signs. North Carolina Department of Transportation engineer Jo Ann Oerter figures her employer receives timely traffic data for only one percent of the state’s roads. "We'll be able to see where traffic is building and work within our system to say these are routes you should avoid.” While Inrix will also sell the data to GPS providers for automatic traffic avoidance, we’re guessing Oerter’s union job is safe. 

According to mlive.com, auto industry analysts predict that the hybrid “premium” and consumer acceptance of $3 a gallon gas will dampen near-term demand for gas – electric vehicles. J.D. Power and Associates senior manager Michael Omotoso says the arrival of the next gen Prius will revive the genre. "In 2009 we see hybrid sales going over 600,000 units." Over at AutoNation, some 70 percent of car shoppers inquire about hybrids– but only two percent end up buying one. Spokesman Marc Cannon claims the Prius has been successful because "Americans really like that fact that the Prius stands out and it's a social statement; if you have a Prius, everyone knows it's a hybrid." And what of battery-powered cars? "The lithium-ion battery is nowhere near ready for showtime," says Brett Smith, a hybrid analyst at the Center for Automotive Research. Still, the Volt hype has raised expectations– and how. "Whoever sees those concept cars thinks it's ready to go." As Albert Einstein said, “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."

Tesla better watch it… the joint venture between ZAP and China Youngman Automotive Group is nipping at their heels with the Alias. Wired reports the three-wheeled electric sports car is supposed to go into production by midyear 2009. The unusual drive system will use two in-wheel motors producing 320hp. They're claiming 0-60 in 5.7 seconds, a 120mph top speed and "at least" a 150-mile cruising range. Oh, and it'll sell for $30k. Interestingly, ZAP designed the car with help from Lotus– which also helped develop the Tesla Roadster. They're taking reservations now so better hurry if you want to be the first in your neighborhood with one of the electric trikes.

Rhode Island is one of those New England states with regular mill fires. Every now and then, someone torches the abandoned husk of a once-mighty factory, an eerie edifice from a bygone era nestled by the river of some obscure town. Even after they burn, often in spectacular fashion, the mills don't fall down. Back in the early part of the last century, construction technology was relatively crude, and amazingly robust. Post-conflagration, you're left with relics no less profound than Europe's abandoned cathedrals. The mill walls stand tall; the scope and scale of what was remains obvious. Of course, these days, the mill fire victims are bulldozed into oblivion, so that insurance companies and land developers may be satisfied. As I watched this video of a Chevrolet plant smokestack crumpling to the ground in Muncie, Indiana, it angered me that a confederacy of dunces has allowed the American automobile industry– the American automobile industry– to "escape" to Mexico, South Korean, Australia, Belgium and elsewhere. Unlike the mill fires, this local landmark falls to the ground like a prize-fighter who walked into a vicious right hook. And here, there are no remains. Only a pile of bricks to remove. It is the silence of this finale that scares me. To my eyes, it symbolizes the fact that The Big 2.8 and their legion of American workers are dying with a whimper, not a bang. [thanks to John for the link]

Thanks to John Steinbeck and Nat King Cole, Route 66 is an American icon. But Highway 77 in South Texas gives "kicks" of the international kind. As this highway winds down Mexico way, we find neglected and discarded compact trucks in pairs, towing their belittled brothers to a new life south of the Border.  And while America's insatiable demand for new product continues apace, Highway 77 speaks to a silent majority who favors cheaper and smaller vehicles.  It's the spiritual home of the Ford Ranger.

This is not an extra-fresh topic, but, following our readers request, I'm presenting you with my impression of the "right around the corner" third-gen Mercedes-Benz CLK. As a model due for release in a year, the CLK will not make a significant departure from the current Mercedes line-up in terms of design. It will follow the angular flame-surfacing approach of the C-Class and of the recently rejuvenated SL. As we could see from spy photographs of test vehicles, the CLK/E pair will stick to the dual front lights theme, but subject them to the same fire and smoke line bending that's producing all the harsh angles these days. Some artists envisioned the next CLK with LED bumper lights shaped like a boomerang. I don't really dig into that. They don't look very good and they were also presumed to be used on the face-lifted SL. As we've seen, they weren't. And a good thing too.

[For more Avarvarii photochopistry, click here]

Auto Motor und Sport [via Reuters] reports that Ford is contemplating selling Lincolns in Europe. "We are considering distribution in Europe and Asia," FoMoCo CEO Alan Mulally told the German buff book. "We already sell Lincolns in the Middle East." Yeah, well, not many. Of the 130,700 Lincolns sold last year, only one percent of those transactions occurred outside North America. No wonder a Ford spokesman quickly spun Big Al's comments into oblivion. While hyping the brand's foreign potential, he insisted that any European incursion by the Reach Higher brand would take place "sometime in the future since the priority right now is clearly on North America." Still, Big Al's loose lips could be another indication that Volvo is heading for the auction block; the Swedes were supposed to be Ford's worldwide luxury brand. Question: what Lincoln could possibly hope to compete in the Eurozone?

In 2002, Leon County (Florida) commissioners passed an ordinance earmarking three dollars from every traffic ticket for driver-education programs. This year, educators got $230k to spend on teaching the next generation how to navigate our roadways. They spent the money on salaries for one full-time and one part-time teacher and cars for the county's five high schools. But Tallahassee.com reports they didn't buy just any cars– they bought a fleet of Toyota Priora. You have to wonder how the students will react going from one of those with its video game dashboard and engine cut-off back to the family chariot where they actually have to learn to read an instrument cluster and listen to the engine idle.

Once again GM shows its right hand doesn't know what the Lutz hand is doing. Last week, Car Czar to the Stars Bob Lutz spoke about their plans for the Volt's eventual introduction: "In the first year… we'll do about 10,000 units, and keep them fairly close to home so we can deal with any issues before we really crank up for high volumes." But Reuters reported yesterday that GM's VP for global program management has a different idea. Jon Lauckner told a forum at the Competitive Enterprise Institute that GM's  planning a "healthy roll-out" for their plug-in electric – gas hybrid  In fact, Lauckner said "we're talking about large numbers — in the tens of thousands." However, Lauckner didn't seem to share Lutz' confidence that the Volt would be a smash hit; he urged Congress to "approve tax incentives to help spark demand." Your tax money hard at work.

According to Autobild (print edition, Jan 25), Alfa Romeo will re-engineer almost all of its models from front wheel to rear wheel-drive (RWD). Since the FIAT conglomerate has practically no usable RWD platforms, Alfa is about to ink a deal with GM to use The General's Sigma platform, currently underpinning the Cadillac CTS, SRX and STS. Alfa plans to use Sigma for its 169 executive sedan, the 159 small sedan, the Alfa Spider convertible, the Brera Coupe and for a new generation of smaller Maseratis. Autobild speculates they might deploy Sigma for the next gen Maserati Quattroporte and the GT. From a GM bean-counter's point of view, the news sounds sensible; why not share the costs? From a branding POV, you might say hey, Cadillac could do worse– at least, they aren't sharing Sigma with Pontiac. However. HOWEVER. GM wants to re-relaunch Cadillac in Europe. And Alfa plans to re-enter the U.S. Why the heck is GM helping a competitor to undermine its own market? And let's not forget that the last time GM got in bed with FIAT, it got burnt for 1.55 billion Euros. Fool me once…