By on April 15, 2008

2775_2lo.jpgOuch, the metablogging is hurting my face. Toyota posted to their Open Road blog today with a post so genius they may not even know what it is.

A New Small Sports Car on the Horizon
Scott Deyager, Corporate Communications

You may have heard that as part of strengthened corporate ties between Toyota Motor Corp. and Fuji Heavy Industries in Japan, Toyota and Subaru, which is owned by Fuji, announced plans last week to collaborate on a new small sports car.
We pay by the period here. Semicolons are also expensive. That's why I will continue to use plastic forks, knives, and commas I stole from the diner downstairs.

While the market introduction for this vehicle apparently is targeted for the end of 2011,
Apparently! Ha, I so nailed you new media! I'm implying that you have set a release date without info! Booya!

speculation on blogs, and in newspapers, already is vibrating along nicely.
Screw you, "blogs." And I guess you newspapers, too.

A report last week
Really leveraging the speed of blog posting to your advantage, I see…

in Japan's Asahi newspaper
Which readers of this American Toyota site probably know nothing about, since we had to explain that a company called "Fuji Heavy Industries" is in Japan.
But seriously folks, that's Toyota's great example of assumptions going overboard? Japanese publications are notorious for predictions, concept sketches and photoshops.

speculates
There's that word again.

that this car will be powered by one of Subaru's flat-four engines.
Yep, let's mock them for being optimistic that a 4-cylinder engine with a low center of gravity, which is easily configured to run power to the back wheels, would be the engine in the car. Rather than the cynical assumption they should have made that we're going to stick a Subaru logo on a Scion tC, and then take the rest of the day off.

Other speculation suggests
Okay, seriously, try a thesaurus.

that it will be rear-wheel drive, that it could go on sale as early as 2011, and that it will sell for less than $20,000.
Which we at corporate know would be too expensive (rwd), our engineers need to sleep (2011), and are you monkey crazy (<$20k)?

Stay tuned for updates surrounding this exciting new collaboration.
I'll bet you thought we were going to tell you some information. Validate or invalidate one of the rumors. Or even give you corporate vague-speak about how mostly one company's parts will be used. Well YOU THOUGHT WRONG, baby! High five! I got you so good! Oh also, please continue to come to our site again. When? Every day. Gotta convince the bosses that this blogging thing has legs.

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