Welcome to open mic night here at The Inside Joke. First up: you know and love him as The Autoxtremist… Peeeeter DeLorenzooooo! Hi guys. You know as bad as things are in Motown at the mo-ment, it's about to get worse. I bet at least half of you are about to come down with AFTERLUTZ. You know, "the state of shock destined to loom over GM after Bob Lutz hangs up his spurs". No seriously, I'm wondering how many of you've already been HUMMERED. That's "the state of eating or drinking to excess, as in, 'She was supposed to be here for the 7:30 media breakfast, but she got so hummered last night I doubt if she'll make it.'" Hey, no blowjob cracks back there! Anyway, it looks like you've already had a little SMOKEY-TIME. That's what happens during "the classic 'smoke and mirrors' presentations that go on every day in this town and in businesses across the country for that matter, as in, 'We were nowhere in that meeting until Harry went all smokey-time on them, and then we walked out with the order. Unbelievable."' Hey listen, you've been a great audience! Thanks Pete. Picking-up on Sweet Pete's theme, The Truth About Cars' Best and Brightest will now present a few new industry buzzwords of their own. Take it away TTAC!
YUKATAHOEBURBELAID – The act of picking-up (i.e. buying) a gas guzzler for peanuts. “I know gas prices are killer, but I couldn’t help myself. I went out and got Yukatahoeburbelaid.” TESLACKER – Someone who believes what they’re told about supposedly green automotive technology because they can’t be bothered to find out the truth. “The ad for the hydrogen fuel cell Honda Clarity appeals directly to Teslackers.” MOOLALEE – Money given to an executive to join a struggling rival– paid up front. “Juan knew it was a bad idea to quit Toyota for Ford, but he couldn’t resist the Moolalee." SAAB STORY – Any car marque that loses its branding. “Pontiac's demise is a real Saab story.”
Would it be trite to bring up ‘perception gap’?
Can I bring back “Rich Corinthian Leather” to describe the cheesy-ness of Chry-Co’s interiors?
Will the new site setup have audio buttons? In my head I’m pushing a few rim shots and a few boos.
TOYOTABUICK – “This Avalon is the nicest Lesabre I’ve ever owned!”
TRAILBLAZEREMORSE – “I got $9000 off, I think I got taken.”
Wow, I want to take the day off and do dozens of these!
ELYSIAN FIELDS: That happy place car company execs (golden) parachute into once their days have been accounted for ..or numbered… as the case may be. .
THE GETTELFINGER: Thoughtful, insightful reply to any calm, reasoned, thought-provoking observation regarding labor relations. As in, “That guy on the picket line just gave me The Gettlefinger when I asked why they were striking!”
CEREBUS: the verb which describes the sudden realization that your eyes are bigger than your stomach. As in, “My buddy thought he could buy an old fixer upper, throw on some spackle and paint, and flip it for an extra $50K. But with the downturn in property values, he wound up getting Cerebussed in the keester.”
BENZENED: Whereby what seems to be a pleasant merger turns to an unholy conflagration at the expense of one of the “partners”
ATTACED- The willful act of harpooning a large domestic car company. “We saw some potential good news about a certain large domestic car company. We then logged on and ATTACED viciously.”
EXTRADITION- Ford’s newest CUV for those who boasted about their “cold, dead fingers” when describing their former rides.
DECAFED – A project which was derailed by recent CAFE changes: “The GM Ultra V-8 project was DECAFED after all the engineering was done.” Not to be confused with buzz free coffee.