Driving in London just for fun is as sensible as rollerblading on the autobahn. Enlisting a young fresh-off-the-boat Yank to indulge in such folly should be a felony. Yet there I was, strapped behind a steering wheel located where the glove box should be, with a carload of norteamericanos who had entrusted me with their sightseeing and their lives. As an avid reader of British car magazines who watched BBC documentaries on PBS, I convinced myself that I possessed the knowledge required for such an undertaking. I'd already shown courage under fire, surviving several days as a pedestrian on these streets without being hit, not even once. All we needed now was more petrol, and a bank loan to pay for it.
The driving truths Americans hold to be self-evident are nowhere to be found in the Land of Hope and Glory. English traffic engineers appear blissfully unaware of grid systems and four-way stops. Using street names to navigate can only lead to despair. Someone saw fit to bolt all those placards to the sides of buildings, out of eyeshot where they wouldn’t spoil the view.
You couldn’t design a street plan like this without a hangover and a sense of humor. That centuries-old monument dedicated to King Somebodyoranother commands your immediate attention. As luck would have it, it’s in the middle of the road, and we’re heading straight for it. This marble relic has no patience for ambiguity. Choose sides. Left or right. NOW. No wonder we’ve been driving only ten minutes, and we’re already lost.
No matter. Losing your bearings doesn’t get much better than this. Stateside rental cars of that era were often shaped like soap bars and didn’t smell nearly as good. But in Old Blighty, even a mundane family saloon like this Ford Sierra could connect with your inner Schumacher.
For a kid raised on Tempos and Festivas, this shade of blue oval was nothing short of a revelation. The 1.6-liter mill wound out in ways that would have left many a bulkier Detroit four-banger for dead. The dash displayed Teutonic earnestness, controls placed where they should be. The shifter was nimble, albeit a bit awkward to an unfamiliar left hand. (Slam your customary shifting hand against the car door enough times, and you figure things out eventually.) While the passengers gawked at old buildings, my heel and toe enjoyed a workout on the roundabouts. This $4 gas was worth every pence.
Urban architecture gave way to suburbia, then to rolling verdant countryside as we barreled southward through Surrey toward West Sussex. The tourist office was kind enough to quarantine the English rain, replacing it with a glorious, warm sun. We’re not in Kansas anymore, and they’ve got the blacktop to prove it: tidy, properly paved tarmac, an invitation to dance. A Crown Vic would have been left flummoxed, but the Sierra remains composed, a willing partner for sharing this music.
We happen upon Arundel, a village known for a well-preserved castle doing double-duty as a tourist trap attraction and family home. (Note to self: Life in a drafty old house with a cover charge is overrated.) At the local café, my order of breakfast tea at 2PM was scandalous enough to unravel decades of Anglo-American diplomacy. At least we still had the car.
Back on the highway, I acquired a newfound appreciation for yellow paint. In the New World, we use it to separate opposing traffic from unplanned encounters. The Brits, however, reserve this shade to demarcate their omnipresent parking restrictions, preferring white striping for virtually everything else. Seemed like a harmless cultural difference, until a large lorry began playing chicken with us in what I could have sworn was my passing lane. With the aid of divine intervention, I hastily found fourth gear, redline and a slot on the left, barely avoiding a nasty rendezvous. One life down, eight to go.
Thankfully, the motorway spared us from further overtaking trauma. The limit was allegedly 70 mph, yet the natives took no notice. The speediest traffic easily surpassed the century mark, as slower members of the species respectfully dived out of the way. I had stumbled upon an exotic land where turn signals, courtesy and lane discipline were ways of life. As the lights of London loomed ahead on the M4, I prayed that I could be granted citizenship and a parking space.
But alas, that England is one for the history books. The new Cool Britannia is choking on the gristle of speed cameras, more speed cameras, congestion charges and $8 diesel. At this rate, it’s a matter of time before the Brits will have to pay just to think about driving.
Living in the past is looking like a better bet. It’s much faster there, and I can almost afford it.
English traffic engineers appear blissfully unaware of grid systems and four-way stops.
I think you’ll find most urban British road systems pre-date cars by a long way. The only straight roads are the ones the Romans left behind.
The new Cool Britannia is choking on … $8 diesel.
Whenever I land at Heathrow the stench of diesel is nauseating. I’d suggest those hankering after their Diesels in the US, go the Europe and sample the atmosphere produced by the desire (and tax loop holes) to save a few pennies on each mile of driving.
@sitting:
Are you sure that’s not the smell of jet exhaust? As I walked the long hike to immigration at LHR, it hung in the air like a sickly sweet fog.
I’ve driven in northern England and Scotland, but after several visits I’ve decided that I’ll never drive in London.
Had a cousin who has lived in suburban London all his life tell me that he stays about 5 miles clear of central London with his car at any hour–significantly beyond congestion charge range.
English traffic engineers appear blissfully unaware of grid systems and four-way stops.”
However, the British driving public has learned how to navigate ’roundabouts’ aka traffic circles. Something that utterly flummoxes the vast majority of drivers here in NJ at least.
Whenever I land at Heathrow the stench of diesel is nauseating. I’d suggest those hankering after their Diesels in the US, go the Europe and sample the atmosphere produced by the desire (and tax loop holes) to save a few pennies on each mile of driving.
A agree, although in the UK the savings are quite significant due to the price of diesel historically being more in line with petrol than it presently is in the US. The smell of diesel is pretty bad in places. Before I moved to the US in ’97, I lived in London for 3 years (prior to that, Wales). I was alarmed at first to notice I had, and I apologise to those of a sensitive disposition, ‘black snot’. This, I suppose, was primarily from the ancient and largely ill maintained diesel powered buses & taxis. Since then, diesel has become the fuel of choice for many, possibly most, passenger cars, lots of which are older and also poorly maintained. So although modern diesel vehicles are supposedly clean and emit nothing more harmful than lavender petals, there’s a load of old ones that stink and there’s no guarantee that the new ones won’t also stink by the time they’re on their 4th owner.
Living in the past is looking like a better bet. It’s much faster there, and I can almost afford it.
So true, whenever I return, I wistfully think of the happier (speed camera free) days when I could row my 1.3 liter Vauxhall Astra along at 90mph plus, without any real fear of being ticketed. One particularly fond memory is of the time I realised, very early one Sunday morning, that I and my rented Ford Ka, a tiny 65hp city car resembling a teapot, had covered the approximate 100 miles of (thankfully almost completely traffic free at that time) motorway between South London and the start of the M6 near Birmingham in an hour.
If I tried that today, I’d get locked up.
We ready to talk about southern Italian roads yet??? EVIL GRIN!
Anxious to give Great Britan a look!
# Busbodger :
May 17th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
We ready to talk about southern Italian roads yet??? EVIL GRIN!
Please NO!!! I still have nightmares five years later.
Yup… Australia uses the same color codes as the UK… a white stripe instead of yellow to delineate opposing lanes. They also don’t believe in painting curbs to indicate parking privileges (i.e. they don’t have red curbs).
I do love roundabouts. I wish we had more of them in the US. They are so efficient for low and medium volume intersections.
I’ve always found driving in the UK, and London, to be pretty easy. Once you understand how street names changes every couple of blocks, and the building number system is very different. At least I feel safer driving there than in southern Italy where there are no rules at all.
@Busbodger
Yes, can we? I lived in Catania for 2 years, and was really glad that I was a gocart racer as a kid! The road from Catania to Siracusa is a well traveled 2 lane Autostrada, doing duty as a 4 laner! Weeee!
At one time, I was making the drive from LHR to Bristol to work with a client. The first time I went, I saw no problem – after all, I had owned RHD British cars here in the States, so all I had to do is remember to stay left, correct?
So wrong.
Perhaps having less in the DOT budget than we do, or due to the lack of space on the sides of the roads, er, carriageways, signs are used sparingly, with road marks conveying most of the proper information. I do love the signs that map the path of roundabouts, especially the roundabout with miniroundabouts; like snowflakes, no two are alike.
The roundabout is such an efficient way to shuttle traffic, it is terrible that we seem to be removing them here in the US. I guess it is due to the inattentive nature of drivers here. That’s another problem we probably have more of than in Europe.
UnclePete: The roundabout is such an efficient way to shuttle traffic, it is terrible that we seem to be removing them here in the US.
I agree. I would gladly see more roundabouts in the congested parts of Silicon Valley where multi-level intersections are not practicable. They certainly unload traffic faster that woefully inefficient and ill-timed lights.
You couldn’t design a street plan like this without a hangover and a sense of humor.
You’d think the blitz would have paved the way for a more grid like pattern. Central Frankfurt was, thanks to Allied air efforts, rather grid like. Perhaps the German mind is more cartesian when it comes to rebuilding…
What they seem to have done in the past decade or so is start to use anti-skid paint in places where you need to wait in the middle of the road to make a right turn, or there’s a bit of a gap between opposing lanes. Presumably some safety benefit, but it also helps you see what’s going on a bit better in the more complex junctions, since it’s a pinky brown colour.
This stuff, in case anyone ain’t sure what I’m on about…
http://www.glendininghighways.com/products_antiskid.html
As for speed cameras and all that, last time I drove most of the length of the M6 (Kendal-Coventry) there still weren’t any cameras between Kendal and Birmingham at least, anyone know if that’s changed yet? This was about 3 years ago now.
I find driving in the UK far more rewarding and enjoyable than Michigan; driving in Michigan is a lot like being in the police for or the military.
Tons of boredom interspersed with occasional absolute terror.
Roundabouts won’t work in the USA because to successfully negotiate them, drivers must have something called – competency.
I’m American but have lived in the UK 9 years of my adult life.
Had to re-learn to drive in Britain since I was not Canadian, or European. Had I been, I could have simply turned in my drivers license for a driving licence. I had to swallow my pride and hire the little old gray haired man in the red BSM (British School of Motoring) Mini Metro. I think they clone the little white haired men…
Fully 44% of first time testees fail, and 70% of retestees fail the driving test, it’s that tough; as well it should be worldwide.
I had to pass or stop driving within one year of arriving in the UK to live. The b*stards must have known because my test was requested 6 months ahead, and they scheduled it on the last possible day I could drive legally on my US license.
I passed first time.
Remember, the steering wheel is on the right side in England.
The push for diesel is curious. It’s still made from oil, unlike LPG which is made from abundant natural gas. It’s much cheaper than gasoline or diesel, offers the same power (when installed correctly) and the worse fuel economy (drops by 30%) is more than compensated by the drastically lower price.
Add to that bargain the very clean emissions and it’s a wonder more people don’t use LPG in countries with medium to high gasoline taxes.
Sure, there’s the loss in boot space and the conversion cost, but get a new car factory configured and the cost difference shrinks markedly and the tank takes the place of the gasoline setup.
Taxis in Japan and Australia all use LPG (small/medium vehicles in Japan, large in Australia). The technology is known and proven.
Roundabouts.
Watching a Toyota large pickup negotiate the new one in the bypass road of North Conway NH. It is a 15 mph, small circle, maybe 80 feet diameter. Almost perfect visibility in all directions. One tight little lane, four entrances, four exits, tiny triangles separating enter/exit, all curbed so you cant get out of line. Tiny garden in middle, on raised platform, is only vision obstruction. 20 foot deep raised tilted brick circular apron to the garden.
I know they hired traffic engineer to consult and it was the subject of much public debate. Many in NH do not believe that things that work elsewhere should be believed, trusted or tried just because they work everywhere else.
Watching the paper wrapped hamburger move away from face as pickup truck slows and stops dead in entrance. Looks both ways, no other traffic in sight for 1/4 mile in all directions. Blinkers go on.
Since he can only go straight ahead into circle, I am not sure if left or right would be correct answer for “which blinker”?
Wheel jiggles, truck advances, rides up on apron, back down, half around, stops before exiting. Turns on signal at dead stop and bangs right out of circle at full throttle slushbox hurry into big box store parking lot.
Bigger SUVs which can’t see where their boundaries are routinely smash up over curbs and back up over triangles as well as ride up and down the apron.
I take it at 25, while coasting to the light 1/4 mile ahead. Interest chicane when nobody is around.
Its far superior to a traffic light. Given better public driving skills it would be even more superior.
Ahhh…driving in England…
The M40, the M4 and A4, Fullam Palace Road…
I loved driving in England…I loved doing 90+ on the motorway without fear…
I loved sharing the road with others who had a clue (kept left or moved left and even better…they are overtaking you…but are aware enough to see you are about to overtake someone so they move further right to allow you room)…
Compared to the clueless agressive stupidty demonstrated by just about all drivers in NZ and Aussie…
long time reader, first time commentor…
It was a nice surprise to read this editorial this morning and see mention of my old stomping grounds, Arundel. Back in 1992-1993 I was a student at the now defunct Arundel campus of “New England College”. The grounds where I studied have been a condo development since 1997 or so.
The other big point of interest in Arundel is the Cathedral. I used to love high Street, a couple of fantastic pubs there who were more than willing to help a college kid spend his hard borrowed cash on beer and cream of mushroom soup.
Thanks for the flashback!
Ahhh the roads of blighty how my family misses them. Yes got to admit that road signs in the suburbs on corners of buildings or hidden by an over grown hedge is really annoying. However drivers back home tend to be able to drive, guess it’s because of the rigurous testing you have to go through to get a licence. (couldn’ believe how easy it was here, and there as we were worried about it when we came)I’ve driven through London and Paris where to say the least it’s manic at best, but have never been as scared as when i’ve driven in the States, particularly Michigan. At least the UK has roads without potholes, the drivers can drive, use mirrors, indiscators, move over etc when they see a car coming behind them and not thinking its their god given right to drive in a particular lane. The place would be much better with a better testing system, some people should definately not be on the road. And what is it with americans and roundabouts? Everyone feels they have the right of way, no ones read a rule book obviously, but it is a brilliant piece of traffic management in the right locations.
A good road to try if you ever go over to the UK is the new toll road that skirts Birmingham, hardly anyone uses it, fresh tarmac, its your best bit of open highway for fun impeded driving. But the list could goes on and i have work to do, so many good roads so little time!!
BostonTeaParty: However drivers back home tend to be able to drive, guess it’s because of the rigurous testing you have to go through to get a licence. (couldn’ believe how easy it was here, and there as we were worried about it when we came)
Yes, easy indeed. I got my motorcycle license here in TN by passing a multiple choice test and a ride around the license center’s parking lot with the state employee watching me for blinkers… I guess they figure you’ll be dead in 10 miles if you really inept… FWIW The driver’s license wasn’t any harder.
Can we talk about southern Italy now???? VBG!
Racing through narrow Naples at 60+ mph on cobblestone streets. Short cuts by going the wrong way on one way streets… Driving on the sidewalk in my Beetle to avoid getting run over by a city bus… 100 mph+ on the cross town highway (Tangenziale).
La Domitiana = four lanes of traffic with street vendors on one side and no formal traffic flow – drive where you fit and 50+ mph. Locals call it the death road b/c there have been so many fatalities… Roads that are SLICK b/c the aggregate used in the asphalt may contain marble.
Now the good parts: roundabouts. I LOVE them. I know of two in TN. Well, three. We have one in our town but it’s mostly decorative.
Drivers who know a little something about driving fast. Drivers who know how to drive fast on the Autostrada without getting killed. Blink the high-beams to pass actually works. Left blinker means I’m in the fast lane and am really moving, stay out of my way. Large vehicles that actually STAY in the right most lane and operate at a reasonable speed (62 mph I think it was) instead of dominating the roads with heavy loads and poor handling/brakes.
Driving 80 mph with a 1.2L engine, 120 mph with a 1.8L engine. Getting passed by a 135 mph VW Jetta with a VR6(?) Getting passed at 150+ mph by big Mercs and BMWs. Truly redefining what “performance vehicle” means by the experience…
IOW a muscle car is not the pentacle of the motoring experience if you are trying to go somewhere fast.