Does the head of Saturn have photos of important movers and shakers with goats? How else can you explain Saturn’s survival? All that’s left of GM’s “different kind of car company” is the same old spray of red ink. From import fighter to importer of Americanized Opels, Saturn’s been an abject failure for decades. And yet, GM’s has deemed Saturn one of their three “sales channels.” While there are few (non-goat-related) “image” reasons for Saturn to continue, a close look at the numbers shows its defense lies in what can be done, not what people [re]think.

We've known for a quite some time that Chrysler's partnership with Chery is a long ways off from bearing, um, fruit for the U.S. market. Automotive News [sub] reports that Chrysler has sent engineers over to China to ready the A1 for American importation. Again. Still. "We need small cars," says Chrysler CEO Tom LaSorda, offering a piercing glimpse into the obvious while riffing on that old flick "Mars needs women." "Chery's cars are still not ready for that exposure into these markets." Nor will they be until that mythic 2010 debut date. LaSorda said China-built cars probably can't meet U.S. safety and emissions standards for "three years or more." Chrysler can't wait to pop its Chery in the North American market. The company announced it will be selling death traps Cherys in Mexico under a Chrysler nameplate while engineers ready the diminutive Chinese whips for the American market. The Bertone-styled Chery A1 will be imported to Mexico by year's end. While "lucky" Mexicans get to enjoy Chinese-market standards in reliability, build quality and emissions, Yanks will just have to wait before experiencing the joys of Chrysler-branded Chinese personal transportation. Or not. Meanwhile, what?

Strange but true: I possess a "GM Card" credit card. For every $100 charged to the card I get a $5 discount against a new GM vehicle (up to a certain amount, not to used in a blinding snowstorm, etc.). I signed-up for the fantastic plastic back when I was a loyal GM customer and shareholder. Two crappy GM minivans later, I've jettisoned both GM stock and vehicles. But the card still sits in my wallet, mostly unused. Saturns and Saabs have always been excluded from the GM Card program. Until now. I recently received notice that "Your GM Card Earnings are now redeemable on an eligible, new Saturn vehicle!" Rethink discounts? How long before Saturn gives up on their vaunted One Price policy? There are already reports of Saturn dealers using inflated trade-in values to get around undercut the no-haggle policy.  More to the point, what is so great about no-haggle pricing in the Internet Age?  Why would anyone be stupid enough to pay full sticker for an Aura when the Chevy dealer across the way is playing Let's Make a Deal on a Malibu? Hang on; remind me again why both the Aura and the Malibu exist?

CTV reports that General Motors is closing its transmission plant in Windsor, Ontario by 2010. The plant currently employs 1400 workers producing ye olde four-speed automatic transmission. GM Canada's Stew Low offered an explanation that made no mention of a warning shot over the Canadian Workers Union (CAW) bow, in advance of contract negotiations. "With the dynamic of our changing portfolio, there just wasn't a new transmission to put into there." Translation: four-speeds are so 1939 and you guys cost too much. The announcement caused some political scuffles. The provincial (left-leaning) NDP party implored Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty to step in and stop the rampant job losses in the automotive industry. As The Big 2.8 have shuttered plants and moved production to cheaper jurisdictions, investments from Asian automakers have not risen to produce employment break-even. It's a shame too, since Windsor was on a roll. On the plus side, given Ontario's more diversified economy, it appears it can shelter a contraction of the NAFTA-zone's automotive industry with less pain than Michigan. But, unless a career at GM provides a good stepping stone to working on Bay Street, that won't soothe any of the CAW members' worries.

The Altamont 24 Hours of LeMons race finished yesterday. If I shut my eyes, I can still see $500 beaters running around a track– and nothing else. I can't even think of thinking of anything else. Now, I've always been– at best– a casual fan of racing. When I was a kid, I'd watch the Indy 500 with my dad, intermittently. As I got older, I discovered different forms of racing. Rallying piqued my interest, as did European-style GT racing; as the cars running around the track bore a passing resemblance to what you see on the street. F1 cars just didn't do it for me. For a time, I became fascinated by historical racing. The 60's racing cars– Jaguar E-type, Ferrari 250 GTO, Shelby Daytona Coupe, etc.– really got my blood pumping. Then I discovered LeMons. Say what you will about the Burning Man aspect of $500-or-less art cars banging around a track. But this, to me, is pure racing. There's no money in it; the winner gets $1000 in nickels. Other teams are constantly asking to borrow a cutting torch or mooching a control arm. Due to the low cost of entry, almost any group of friends can run a car and live out the dream. And finally, while you might see some LeMons cars on the street, most are in the junkyard. So, you? 

The Detroit News, internationalists that they are, report that Renault/Nissan is entering into a joint venture with India's Bajaj motors to take on the ultra-cheap Tata Nano (a.k.a. the one lahk car). Bajaj will own fifty percent of the joint venture, with Renault and Nissan splitting the rest. Together, they'll build a new factory in Chakan, India, Starting in 2011, the facility should eventually bang-out some 400k entry-level rides per year, heading for both the Indian and Chinese new car markets. No details are available about the powertrain or standard equipment (wheels? side mirrors? doors?). Whether this sudden craze for inexpensive mass market motors becomes a cash cow or a money pit remains to be seen; the challenge represents one of Nissan/Renault's most ambitious international projects. Still, Renault found plenty of karma with their first forray at the bottom of the market with the [formerly Dacia] Logan. The Indian version, built with Mahindra and Mahindra was a big hit for all concerned. The Iranians also build a version, but that's a story for another day.

What a race. Ninety cars started the event. I have no idea how many cars finished the race, but it was a lot fewer than that. Due to inexperience and a poor game plan, we were in 47th position on Saturday when sadly and quite horribly, another driver — Cort Summerfield — died of a heart attack behind the wheel. The CHP determined there was no mechanical failure and that Cort was dead before he hit the wall. I know I speak for all the teams when I report that what followed was a very long, emotional and mostly sleepless night. We all wanted to race, but it was hard to see the point during the wee hours of Saturday night. After a touching memorial given by LeMons organizer Jay Lamm, we fired up our engines at 9:30 am Sunday morning after Cort's teammates assured us that's what he would have wanted. I was first up, 47 places down on brand new, cold tires. Gulp. After some not-too-shabby driving (if I do say so myself), I moved us from 47th to 35th. Then I lost the power steering belt and had to pit. The crew fixed the belt and Jack Baruth hopped in. For the next two hours and 42 minutes no one passed the V8olvo. And Jack passed everybody. He even managed to pop off the fourth fastest lap time of the day, bringing us to a respectable 20th place. My teammates John (Evil Genius of Evil Genius Racing), Wayne and Jesse managed to pick up the baton and hammer down just as hard. We finished in 15th place, climbing 29 positions on the day. You can expect both a full report from me, as well as Team Black Metal V8olvo finishing a bit higher in December at Thunderhill. Oh yes, we're doing it again.

Nissan's GT-R recently raised some eyebrows by lapping the famed Nürburgring Nordschleife in a tidy 7 min 29 seconds, just barely missing the record held by the Pagani Zonda F. And now Cadillac, once known for its bewinged boulevardier behemoths, has stepped into the Green Hell. Caddy's 542 hp CTS-V emerged with a 7 min 59 second lap time, a feat claimed as the best ever for a production four-door car. Of course, everyone knows production-spec cars are strictly for suckers. So what's the fastest four-door to ever lap the 'ring? According to Wikipedia's list of Nordschleife times, it's a BMW X5 LM: a limited edition sport ute with a Le Mans racer V12 shoved under the hood. Back in 2005, that bad boy clocked a 7:50 lap. For reference, the CTS-V's 7:59 is the same as a Viper SRT-10, Carrera 997S, R33 Skyline GT-R, and STi Spec C. Quite what all this has to do with luxury cars is not clear, but it's good to be King. Isn't it?

Automotive News [sub] reports that Toyota is delaying opening its $1.3b Tupelo, Mississippi production plant from early 2010 to… sometime later that year. Toyota cites weakness in American sales and a tight credit market for the delay– which it downplays as a relatively minor adjustment. "We made adjustments within a certain range of time," Toyota Executive VP Mitsuo Kinoshita soothed. "The change wasn't that critical." The plant will employ some 2k Mississippians building about 150k Highlander crossover utilities. Toyota has seen its sales drop for seven of the last nine months, and recently announced an estimated 28 percent drop in profits. Toyota's San Antonio Tundra plant has already seen its production trimmed, as the global leader in auto sales volume struggles with North American overcapacity. With small, efficient Toyotas continuing to sell well, from the Prius to the Yaris and even the Camry, could Toyota simply switch production over from Highlander's to something that will, y'know, sell?

As all of us without what is euphemistically called "a life" know, Subaru and Toyota have joined forces to design and produce a new pair of coupes. Toyota is no stranger to coupes, Subaru is. Stranger that is. The new cars will most likely be based on a rear wheel-driver version of the Impreza, complete with boxer blowers. The new car(s) will definitely be a breath of fresh air in the cheap-sporty-fun class, which is currently dominated by front wheel-drive cars. As a Subaru, we expect a somewhat, uh, "different design" (nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition a gorgeous Subaru). I just hope the coupes won't share any genes from the B11S; a concept that was an evolutionary dead end way back in 2003. Keeping the lines simple would be so much better for Subaru– but it was hard for me to find a balance between my designer instincts and remaining faithful to Subaru's well-deserved reputation for aesthetic affronts. I have to admit I used the "unsexy-tool" on this one but only to make it realistic. I look forward to seeing how the real thing will turn out.

[For more Avarvarii photochopistry, click here]

First there was a "perception gap"– the alleged discrepancy between the quality of GM's products and public perception of the quality of GM's products. Now, for GM's import-fighter-turned-importer Saturn brand, we have an "awareness problem." GM NA Prez reached this conclusion based on some pretty solid evidence. As Automotive News [sub] helpfully points out, "Over the past 15 months, Saturn has launched a complete line of vehicles including the Aura sedan, which won 2006 North American Car of the Year. Yet Saturn sales are down 15.4 percent through April." So does Troy recognize the connection between Saturn products and the brand's disappearance off the consumer's radar? As South Africans say, ja nee. "In GM research of coastal markets, consumers who saw pictures of Saturn vehicles could not identify them," Clarke said, revealing that he regularly reads TTAC. On the other hand, “If you look at the purchase funnel, you ask, 'Do we have a consideration problem on Saturn or a conversion problem?' The fact of the matter is we have a basic awareness problem.” To sort this shit out [paraphrasing], Clarke says… lots. "Saturn's advertising must start over with something 'a little more basic' than the current 'Rethink' theme… Just as if you're introducing a new brand, we'll probably spend about the same amount of money, but we'll repurpose it so that it's more focused on awareness than consideration.” Sure; that'll do it.

FT.com reports that Jerry York– car industry veteran and investor Kirk Kerkorian's Number One– apologized to Ford executives for shooting from the lip. Apparently, the Grand Old Duke of York regrets advising The Blue Oval Boyz to sell Volvo and give Mercury the needle. "Tracinda, Mr Kerkorian's holding company, disclosed in a regulatory filing that Mr York had backtracked on his 'off-the-cuff' remarks." When was the last time Jerry York apologized for anything? He and Captain Kirk are well known for their stock shenanigans, notably the one which pushed Chrysler into being bought by a merger of equals with Daimler– which resulted in dismantling of the vaunted Chrysler management team. We're still waiting for that apology, Jerry. Let's not forget you were the CEO of Micro Warehouse, which went Chapter 11 a few years back. On the flip side, Lutz got his golden parachute, rode Exide into Chapter 11 as well, then got hired by GM where he went on to win his own award here at TTAC. [Check out John Horner's take on Captain Kirk in Ford Death Watch 44. And TTAC welcomes longtime contributor and tipster Richard Chen into the blogging fold.]

OK, let's start with this: we're not jealous that Tesla tossed the keys to a prototype Roadster to AutoblogGreen scribe Sebastian Blanco during his recent visit to Tesla's new LA dealership. We're furious. Lest we forget (and we don't), Tesla Spokesmouth Darrel Siry promised TTAC a drive back when they didn't have any cars– I mean "prototypes." And then DS wimped-out rescinded his offer. Yet this fanboy gets an unsupervised spin just by showing up? We challenge Tesla to face the music, to lend TTAC a Roadster so that we can arrange independent testing of the two critical variables– which still remain unverified– range and recharge time. Meanwhile, Blanco liked Tesla's two "wonderfully decorated bathrooms" and the car is "simply too much fun to drive." Oh, and "During our drive, we happened upon an electric vehicle charging station and stopped for a little photo shoot. Sure, the connectors are all wrong, but for our pictures little details like that didn't matter." Tesla and AutoblogGreen; a match made in Heaven. 

Last month, Ford released the results of a self-commissioned study claiming their initial quality is as good as Toyota's. Well, Toyota ain't gonna take it; no! They ain't gonna take! On their Open Road Blog, corporate mouthpiece Mike Michaels goes to great lengths to explain that the Ford survey isn't the J.D. Power survey– which places Toyota above Ford. However, Michaels points-out that all of these initial quality surveys "deal with problems that surface only in the first 90 days." They're "useful, maybe, if you're going to rent the car for three months" (and God knows how many times we've done that.) Michaels then proclaims that brand loyalty– where Toyota and Lexus rank at the top– is the only true indicator of quality. That's the only way to know "how your car will treat you long after that new-car smell is gone." It's also a great way to know which car company has the most effective brainwashing marketing or the most risk-aversive customers. But there's one question Mr. Michaels left unanswered: why should we believe a survey that placing Toyota over Ford is any more accurate than one placing Ford on the same plane as Toyota when the methodology behind both of them is clouded in smoke and mirrors? Enquiring minds want to know.

Why would gunslinger/investor Kirk Kerkorian want to buy Ford? After two decades living high off the [gas] hog, Ford’s still suffering the Mother of all Hangovers. The night before the day after, FoMoCo headed down to the Vegas strip and got hitched, polygamy-style (Hertz, Aston-Martin, Jaguar and Volvo). While town father Bill Ford's sobered-up and hired sheriff Mulally– whose drawn-up the divorce papers and cleaned-up the town– it still looks like tornado fodder. And here comes Captain Kirk, all guns blazing, looking to take over the joint. Why now?