Just the other day my girl asked me if I remembered Los Angeles in the '70s and '80s. Specifically, smog. I know:  some people reading this will start hollering at their monitors, "LA's still smoggy!" Yes, it is– but then The Golden State's notoriously useless politicians– who are all too happy to let Angelenos waste over 3 billion hours a year parked at the 101/405 interchange while they ban taco trucks— mandated the world's toughest auto emissions standards. And they work. Pittsburgh now boasts America's filthiest air. Anyhow, The Motor Authority reports that our shorter-than-he-looks Governor Schwarzenegger will be meeting with muckity mucks from The Big 2.8 and Toyota to explain how CA's CO2 standards will save their bacon by forcing them to build higher mileage cars. A position not only supported by all three presidential candidates, but one that makes sense in a state where gas costs $4.00 a gallon. But don't worry, nothing will actually happen that effects anyone in any real way. That [non-PR battle] will happen if, as and when a court strikes down CA's fed-trumping CO2 regs. 

Automotive News [sub] reports that Chrysler has switched the status of the Walter P. Chrysler Museum to non-profit– to keep expenses from impacting the company's bottom line. And that's not all. Chrysler is asking its beleaguered dealers for $5k apiece to fund the museum. To that end, the museum will now be known as the "Walter P. Chrysler Founding Dealers Society" (as opposed to something catchy like The Chrysler Museum). Luckily for ChryCo dealers trying to make their nut on sales of $20k Rams, the program is voluntary. Dealerships who pony-up the five Gs get their name on a donor wall in the museum. With 70 vehicles and six full-time employees, the WPCFDS is hardly a major drain on Chrysler resources. Who knows, maybe this is a test balloon for taking all of Chrysler to 501c3 status, establishing the country's first non-profit (as opposed to profit-free) automaker.

Once upon a time, Americans didn't drive around in Kleenex-mobiles designed to be dis-car-dead after an obligatory three to four years. OK, they actually fell apart in that time. But the thrill of the new– what came to be known as planned obsolescence– wasn't always the industry's main selling point. A lot of folks bought the Model T or an early Buick because the cars were built to last. Outside of pickup trucks, I can't remember the last time I saw a car company advertising the longevity and mechanical quality of their products. Sure, there's some noise about "precision engineering" and "legendary reliability" (e.g. the new, more epically epic Toyota Sequoia). But when was the first/last time you heard a manufacturer claim that "our cars are built to last?" Well then, I guess it's time to rethink Nissan. The Japanese automaker has decided to tout the durability of its cars– especially the Altima– in TV ads and on the web. They're talking quality testing and "years of durability." Yes, an upgraded warranty would have placed currency in their oral cavity, but I think it's fantastic that Nissan is actually suggesting that you buy a car for more than 20 minutes. In these days of tanking vehicle sales, how long before someone nabs Patek Phillipe's strapline (so to speak): choose once, choose wisely? 

It might change later, but as of this specific moment in human history, it is, officially, a slow automotive news day. While I'm sure this German court order will trigger a class-action lawsuit– call D'Olivera and Sons on the Hurtline now— I can't help but think there's a bigger car story out there, somewhere. So to speak. Anyway, meanwhile, here's the guitas [via, get this, The Earth Times]: "A German judge has ordered a Volvo dealer to compensate a man with big feet because there was not enough space around his new car's accelerator pedal, a court spokesman said Monday. The man, a travelling salesman, sought and won a 5-per-cent reduction in the price of his Volvo C70 coupe by arguing that his leather shoes, European size 47 for a foot 29.4 centimetres long, did not fit beneath the dashboard." Beneath the dashboard? Either that's a very small dashboard or my European shoe size converter is on the fritz. So… "Under a court-supervised settlement, the buyer obtained a 1,700- euro (2,650-dollar) refund to pay for a snug pair of sneakers that just fitted into the space, as well as his time changing back into street shoes each time he got out of the car to meet clients." Jesus! Is that what a pair of sneakers costs in Germany? And what's this guy's billing rate, anyway? And doesn't the clock start when you meet the client? "A judge in the court at Wiesloch in Baden-Wuerttemberg state said size 47 was not abnormally large and the Swedish-made car should have catered for big feet." Would you like your foot massage now, Mein Herr?

Manufacturers' blogs are a terrific development. Not because anyone other than OCD automotive journalists, company flacks and devoted fanboys actually read them (check out the number of comments on GMNext or the quality of the [pre-screened] criticism on Bob Lutz' GM Fastlane). No, the cod web 2.0 carmakers' sites are valuable because they reveal their originators' view of themselves. So when I encountered a video blog entry on GMNext titled "That's a Saturn!", I clocked the spear (a.k.a. exclamation mark) and reckoned it was boilerplate PR. Pressing play revealed Saturn's brand managers had aimed a camera-shaped nine mil at their feet. The company debadged a Saturn Astra, parked it in the locus of American car culture (the California coast line), and asked a carefully edited selection of passers-by to identify the brand. Guess what happens GMNext? "The interior looks like some of the newer Toyotas." "I feel like it's a Toyota." "Looks like a Mazda." "Either a Honda or a Toyota." "I'd go with Honda." "Honda." "Actually I changed my mind. It's a Dodge." When the actual brand is revealed, the interviewer asks "Does it look like your run-of-the-mill Saturn?" Ouch. Meanwhile, one wonders what comments got left on the cutting room floor (It's an Opel Astra) and why in the world anyone would ever want their product mistaken for a Dodge. [NB: We're going to add a Whiskey Tango Foxtrot award to The Bob Lutz Award TTACNext time out.]

To say motoring-related police enforcement and green-justified taxation has driven a wedge between the average UK citizen subject and Her Majesty's government would be an excellent example of British understatement. Literally every day we hear news of another "us vs. them" story, whereby motorists face new charges and/or the police punish them for what is, let's face it, normal behaviour (a.k.a. speeding). To wit: one in three of all licensed UK drivers have points on the license. And the hits keep happening. The Daily Mail reports that "a leaked memo has revealed that rank-and-file officers in the Norfolk force have been told that incidents such as car vandalism should not be classed as an offence when there is 'no idea how it happened.'" From the memo: "We appear to be making things difficult for ourselves by 'criming' things which aren't actually crimes. One example is where a car window is found to be damaged, no entry to vehicle, no witnesses and no idea how it happened. This has been recorded as criminal damage, even though there is no evidence to suggest it fits the definition. If there is no evidence of someone intending to destroy or be reckless then there is no crime." In other words, Norfolk crime figures are getting a bit of Shiatsu. I know what you're thinking. "The Association of British Insurers said claims for criminal damage would not be affected if police refused to issue crime numbers." So, if a 'scrote pushes a tree onto your car in The New Forest, does your car really exist? 

Residential Capital (a.k.a. Rescap) is GMAC's mortgage-finance company. GMAC's owned jointly by GM and Cerberus (the private equity firm that also owns 80 percent of Chrysler). Now, on Monday, ResCap announced it "might not be able to meet debt obligations" unless it secures an additional $600m by the end of June. Translation? "Rescap's cramming its debt on its bondholders. It's now a game of chicken. They're offering to convert unsecured debt into secured debt– but not all creditors get even money. Some will be forced to take a hit. And if you don't agree early, you may really get hit with a loss. Of course, there's a lot of lawyering going on to figure this out. (Keep in mind that this is mostly a paper for paper deal.) Meanwhile, the company's problems have not gone away. The question is how much GMAC will contribute to Rescap to keep it afloat. Do the bondholders want to see it meltdown and pursue recoveries through court, or go along with the plan and delay what may be inevitable anyways. Effectively, Rescap is admitting its bankrupt but trying to find a solution to stay out of court – which is an expensive process and subjects loss of control of the company to creditors. The point is that GMAC's valuation keeps going downhill and its own credit situation worsens as it throws money at Rescap. At some point the music will stop."  

Credit where credit's due: Ford was the first automaker to risk afflicting their customers with the blue screen of death and install the Microsoft SYNC system in their products. Not only did Microsoft's in-car multiple device Bluetooth-enabled voice-activation thingie not serve-up a code 10, but Ford put it in their entry-level models AND milked it with plenty o' marketing. But Bill Gate's mob let it be known from the start– as did responsible members of the media– that SYNC was heading into rival products after an 18-month "window of exclusivity." And so, at the end of the year, Ford's bragging right will be defenestrated by none other than Korean budget car maker Hyundai– a Ford wannabe if there ever was one. Yup, Hyundai is next to SYNC up. The New York Times reports "Windows Automotive will first appear in Hyundai vehicles in North America in 2010, said Martin Thall, general manager of Microsoft’s automotive business unit. Subsequent versions will give drivers voice control over navigation systems and video entertainment, in addition to cellphones and digital music players." There was a brouhaha recently when rumors circulated that Ford would allow Microsoft to use SYNC for advertising, which they vigorously denied. Or at least didn't confirm. Yet. What's the bet Kia/Hyundai show similar restraint? 

No, it's not Heidi Fleiss talking. It's a different kind of prostitute: Florida Governor Charles "Charlie" Crist. I kid, I kid. But that's Charlie's ultimate justification for hopping on the summer gas tax holiday bandwagon (there's got to be a Cliff Richard joke in there somewhere). Speaking to the The New York Times, Charlie says he's been "struggling" to cut 10 cents a gallon from the Sunshine State's gas taxes. And yes, he knows it doesn't mean shit, moneywise. But that's not the point. "'It’s about trying to serve the people and trying to understand and have caring, compassionate hearts for what they’re dealing with at the kitchen table,' said Mr. Crist, a Republican." Wow! A Republican said that? And now a word from the Law of Unintended Consequences. "Since 2000, four states have enacted gas tax holidays: Florida, Georgia, Illinois and Indiana. In general, retailers did not pass on all of the intended savings…  During the last gas tax suspension in Florida in 2004, people hoarded gasoline, driving up demand and prices." D'oh! And, to conclude, a little not-so-subtle Bush bashing. "Several drivers, even in Republican strongholds, blamed President Bush for high gasoline prices because of his support for oil companies and the war in Iraq. Others suggested consumer sacrifices like a return to the national speed limit of 55 miles per hour, which would conserve gas but have little immediate impact on prices." Several? Others? Oh brother. 

Desperate times lead to desperate measures, and Chrysler is about as desperate as they come. Or is that deceptive? First, the facts as we know then: ChryCo's just announced a new sales incentive program in "response to direct customer feedback citing the prospect of rising gas prices as a top concern." So now, anyone buying a "new and unused" Chrysler product in the U.S. can enroll in the "Let's Refuel America" promotion. They'll receive a gas card that lowers their price for gas to $2.99/gallon for three years. Participating customers will receive a card (with a PIN number) for deployment "at an eligible gas station." The card's good for regular gas, E85 or diesel fuel. After fueling is complete, the customer's personal credit card is billed at the rate of $2.99/gallon. The promotion runs until June 2, 2008. There's more fine print, but here's the big kahuna: Chrysler buyers get the card in lieu of "other incentives." Do the math, compare gas cash saved over three years vs. money not saved by discount, and, as the bard once said, "things are not always what they seem; milk can masquerade as cream." Anyone want to make any guesses on how much this deal will end-up costing Chryslerberus? Oh, and don't forget depreciation. Once ChryCo files for C11 the cards will be worthless. Of course, at that point, trade-in values won't be anything to write home about either…

The boys hauled the V8olvo (an '84 Volvo 244 with a Ford V8 of some vintage stuffed under the hood) up to Thunderhill for some pre-race diagnostics. The good news: we have good handling, sufficient power and adequate brakes. If you think I'm holding my cards close to my vest, I am. The bad news? A cooling problem and the oil pump seized. But that was before the crew pulled off three heroic 14-hour days in a row. Now we have the radiator from a 560SEL chilling down all 302 cubic inches. In fact, the V8olvo is in such dominating shape that it received a paint job. Yes sir, that's a Swedish Rebel Flag. With the 13 stars of the CSA. Representing what, we have no idea, but Judah Benjamin would be proud.

London has voted out Mayor Ken Livingstone. While the BBC frame the election of Conservative Boris Johnson as London's new mayor in the context of a widespread shift of support from Labour to Tory, "Red Ken's" call for increased congestion charges (to $50/day) and 20mph speed limits in residential areas helped turn the tide in Johnson's favour. Johnson has pledged to review the congestion charge scheme, particularly in London's West End. Note: review and adjust. Not eliminate. Yes, there's little doubt that the UK motorists will continue to be targeted by revenue-building environmental measures, including Ye Olde CG. How long before New York City or Seattle of Portland or San Francisco revive this idea?

According to The Economic Times, your local Audi will be singing the car body electric 2018. In fact, Audi chairman of the board Rupert Stadler says he expects diesel and battery technology "to dominate" automotive propulsion in the next five to ten years. "By then we will offer cars without exhaust emissions," Stadler promised, revealing his evil plan to transfer all the carbon burning stuff to power plants. When asked if he felt Audi was "falling behind" rivals Mercedes and BMW in the whole lithium-ion battery-powered hybrid thing, Stadler claimed Audi has a greater [flux] capacity for research than its German competitors. So… Stadler claimed "electric cars offer great opportunities, which we have already seized on." Ooooh. We LIKE hints. But then we're not stock manipulators. 

When I was growing up, my father constantly reminded us that his customers put food on our table– both literally and figuratively (he had a weakness for Mercedes). The man who was THE alpha in my life was no such thing in front of his customers. He was polite, attentive, deferential and charming. At the tender age of 48, I think I've mastered attentive. But I learned the general lesson well. I never forget that you, dear readers, don't have to spend your time or talents here. I work hard every day to earn your patronage. I never take it for granted, or assume I know better than you– about anything. I fully consider all your criticisms and do my level best to fix bugs as and when they're brought to my attention. I'm never too busy to answer your emails. OK, I am. But I do it anyway. Because without you, nothing. And whenever I'm at a bookstore, I introduce myself to buff book readers and discuss their literary and internet habits. I'm constantly asking car owners I meet on the street what they think of their "ownership experience." If Chrysler thinks that they're going to be a better company if 300 execs talk to one customer each per day, they deserve to go out of business. And will. It's as simple as that.