By on June 11, 2008

jtimberlake-gas-finger.jpgKFOR news in Oklahoma had a crawl at the bottom of the screen saying, "Fight at gas stations caused by limited quantities of cheap gas." Apparently, a gas station in a not-that-great neighborhood in the city of the Okies was selling regular gas at $3.61 a gallon (with a ten-gallon maximum). Gas-crazed motorists were fighting each other in the rush for cheap go-juice. I felt it my duty as an automotive journalist to investigate this outbreak of violence first hand. I ran to my Volvo in full BDU camouflage and combat boots, gunned the anemic five-cylinder engine, and streaked (safely) down the interstate to the scene of the "crime." I was sorely dissappointed to discover that instead of Mad Max-style mayhem over the last of the cheap gas, several homeless people had been arrested for a meth drug deal gone bad, maybe to get enough money to fill their aging (and impounded) Mercury Montego. So much for my Pulitzer Prize on Peak Oil pugilism. At least I could drive away from the faux news in Swedish comfort, with my Swedish Fish snacks (made in Canada).

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