1. It's lazy journalism. You don't have to write a coherent thesis. Just pick a topic, choose ten cars that fit the remit and, perhaps, come up with a formula upon which to base your selections. 2. It's always wrong. There is always at least one car that doesn't belong on the list. Newsday's "10 new fuel-friendly cars the coming year may bring" offers patient readers the option of waiting for a hydrogen-powered BMW 7-Series. 3. The captions are uninformed, poorly written and condescending. In this case, the tasteless McNuggets are prepared with the help of Edmunds' road test editor Brian Moody. "The good news is that VW is going to put diesels into the hands of the average person who may just want good fuel economy in a normal car." Huh. 4. There's always a whiff of whore's perfume to the choices. "Brian Moody makes a valid point [about the Cadillac Escalade Hybrid]: 'GM was shrewd to put out a vehicle that basically helps luxury SUV owners feel better about driving a big SUV.'" All that said, these lists are ridiculously popular with the mainstream press. So… help us choose "The Top Ten Cars for People Who Don't Care About Top Ten Car Lists," based on the best cars not currently on a popular top ten list.
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#1. Toyota Camry. Because, top ten list or not, you’re going to buy it anyway.
Sort of like death and taxes, the Camry is inevitable. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated, but quietly.
#2 Chevy Malibu. Because it’s hard to pass up an opportunity to stroke the ego of the West Coast at the same time you prostitute for the Big 2.8
Mini Clubman – This is a great car for hip people who want fuel efficiency and own large dogs.
Saab 9-5 – How often can you buy an antique brand new, right off the lot?
Volvo C70 – This is the nicest looking car no one remembers.
Chrysler 300 – This doesn’t make any lists anymore. It’s like one of those big, brick-like cell phones that were so cool, accent on ‘were’.
Lincoln Mmmm – I can’t differentiate their name/numbers any more.
Acura RL – This is their flagship, people. Show some respect. It’s got super allwheel drive. Put it on a list, for Pete’s sake.
Chevrolet Impala – They still make this car. It’s big and buttery. Sure, it’s little brother is better looking, but everyone’s cute at that age.
Chevrolet HHR – I know a woman who runs a little business putting things on people’s lawns, like 60 large rubber ducks if your husband is turning 60, that kind of thing. She has one of these and loves it. You can fit 50 pink flamingos, no problem.
Volkswagen Jetta SportWagen – Here is a car with more interior space than it’s bigger stalemate, the Passat. Come, there’s got to be a list for that.
Volkswagen Routan – For people who want to disguise the fact that they’re buying American?
Suzuki SX4 (non sedan) Hey it has all wheel drive, and is cheap, and halfway decent. *(and a used one is cheap as chips)
Dodge Sprinter, The world needs more vans on lists.
I’ve got five:
2006 honda civic
2005 toyota corolla
2005 honda accord
2005 toyota camry
2006 hyundai sonota
great cars for people who what cheap[er] appliance transportation that shouldn’t let them down for the next 10 years…
Saab 9-5 – How often can you buy an antique brand new, right off the lot?
As a Saab fan, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
I do know, though, that it pisses me off. If there’s any car that epitomizes what’s wrong with GM, it’s the 9-5: more than ten years on the market was bad when it was the Cavalier; when it’s a flagship (probably 12-13, when they finally retire it) for a luxury division is not remotely acceptable. This ain’t the 1980s, and this ain’t the 99/900 (this ain’t no party, this ain’t no disco, this ain’t no foolin’ around…). More than ten years in the era of CAD/CAM/CAE is outright shameful.
Some of same damn switchgear that was in the 1993 900 is still front-and-centre in the 2008 9-5!
AMG E 6 3. The world needs more 500 horsepower station wagons. (or, estate cars if you prefer.)
“Top 2 cars I want, almost noone else does, and I can’t afford the gas for anyway.”
Dodge Challenger R/T.
Pontiac G8 GT.
Robert,
Thanks for exposing these ridicuous lists for what they are. Forbes is the king of this garbage mascarading as insight.
Robert, your list is great.
I cannot participate, however. I refer you to your reason #1. Less work for you means more work for me.
Plus, I just don’t care. ;)
Entry luxury sedan: Jaguar X-Type/Cadillac CTS
Mid-range hatchback: Toyota Auris.
Small city car: Toyota Yaris/Honda Jazz.
Luxury sports cars: Corvette Z06/Aston Martin DB9
Family car: Honda Accord (A.K.A Acura TSX).
The name of my list?
“Cars for people with an imagination”
Standard choices
Entry luxury sedan: BMW 3-series
Mid-range hatchback: Volkswagen Golf/Ford Focus.
Small city car: Vauxhall Corsa/Ford KA.
Luxury sports cars: BMW 645i/Mercedes-Benz SL 500
Family car: Ford Mondeo.
1. It’s lazy journalism…
2. It’s always wrong…
3. The captions are uninformed,…
4. There’s always a whiff of whore’s perfume…
Alright, Dammit. The above are cut and pasted from the article above. I’ve looked 6 times.
Where the hell is reason #5???!?!?
Or is being 1 short #5?
Excellent point, Ralph SS… I’m embarrassed that I didn’t notice until you pointed it out.
1. 2008 Ford Taurus/Mercury Sable – These are great cars that I feel are vastly underrated. I mean, the new Sable is very handsome, and each of the cars are well rounded. But, since Ford’s marketing team decided that it would be better to shove the F-150 in our faces some more, rather than advertise these cars, everybody has forgotten about them, and sales have been swirling around the toilet. Way to go, Ford.
2. Toyota Camry – You are going to buy one eventually. Don’t deny it.
3. Mercury Milan – Again, I feel this is a vastly underrated car. Mainly because it is good car, yet nobody is buying it. Just goes to prove that Mercury has gone to the point of no return.
4. Lincoln MKS – Very nice car. But as mentioned above, nobody will buy it because it doesn’t have a tristar or swirling propeller on the hood. Plus, there is nothing unique about it. If you want to sell a luxury car today, it needs a “calling card” of sorts.
5. Buick Lucerne – I don’t know why TTAC likes to dump on this car. I think it is a very good car. The only think that is holding it back is the infamous GM internal competition, and the fact that it had a badge affixed to it that us youngins remember being affixed to shitty, generic cars that only sold to geriatrics and rental fleets.
I don’t know if they are on any other top ten lists-they probably are-but my choices are:
1) Mazdaspeed3 zoom-zoom
2) Lotus Exige, a neighbor has one, and there’s something about the styling that appeals to me in an over-the-top way and the Toyota engine ought to be pretty bullet proof
3) Ariel Atom (it’s street legal here on the west coast)
4) Mazda6 for people who want a midsize sedan at a reasonable price and that won’t suck the soul out of your body.
In keeping with your “5 reasons” those are my five cars. ;-)
I particularly like this BMW hydrogen-7 snippet: “The problem is distribution.” Is that really “the” problem? How about separating the hydrogen, cryogenic cooling, hydrogen boiling off in the fuel tank, the poor driving range, or the fact that you’re only getting 260 HP from a 12-cylinder engine? Nah, “the problem is distribution.”
Chrysler Paci, no the Sebri, no, well it doesn’t matter which one:
You’re going to get a higher percentage off sticker price on one of these rides than any other new car you’ll find. Hell, go in and make ’em an offer and they’ll likely take it just to get the ugly mug off the lot.
This is a good story. These lists have never really helped me and the one you linked to is really one of the worst.
Reading that linked top-10 lists has just taken a few minutes off of my life that I’ll never get back. What kind of hellish worthless list was that?
Aspen hybrid?
Models that aren’t available yet and might not be for sale for over a year?
ASPEN HYBRID?
Here’s my top 5 list – “The top 5 guesses on where that article was written in under 10 minutes.”
5. Back seat of a taxi
4. Port-o-potty at a music festival
3. At a bar where car pictures were on a dartboard.
2. Proctologist’s office
1. Men’s room in a 3rd world country where the local food has torn through your system in under three minutes and you swear that you are so close to death…
If people in major magazines and papers are going to publish a list or car opinions, can I ask that they actually know something about the topic?
Top five vehicles you should drive but can’t because the greenheads will lynch you:
1. Range Rover Supercharged – it’s big, luxurious, can offroad with the best, and now drinks fuel at an even greater rate with the addition of a blower which allows the RR to get out of its own way but still get blown off by a hot hatch. This is the epitome of style, luxury and function blended into a beauty of an offroader, made useless by countless wealthy soccer moms hauling three bags of groceries and two bottles of gin for the afternoon.
2. Any Cadillac Escalade model – Because you have to get in on the (now passed) hype, and dammit all, it feels good to drive a multiton black behemoth on giant chrome wheels in the city, no matter what Al Gore says.
3. A W140 Mercedes Benz SEL/SEC/S model – these are dinosaurs of the greatest luxury era (except they came out 10 years too late and MB couldn’t give them away) when Mercedes built rolling bank vaults of the highest quality and a piddling 4.2L quad cam V8 powered the entry level model. If you have to ask about fuel economy, you can’t afford to fill it.
4. Any V8 Bentley built in the last 20 years – “Blenheim Palace” on wheels, the tyre-smoking fuel-chugging British gentleman’s club with power steering. Bonus points if it has a turbocharger on the antiquated 6-and-three-quarter-litre-vee-eight, because it’s the only way you could possibly make these cars any less fuel efficient.
5. Any Lamborghini with a mid-mounted V12 – these are made to pound your senses into a blubbering mess, and not in the good way. Single digit fuel “economy”, blistering speed, goofy handling, priced above most luxury condos, useless for anything but masochistic exercises in self abuse… Sheer lunacy with a heaping helping of unfathomable excess.
1. Kia Rondo
2. Mazda 5
3. Toyota Rav4L 4×2
Cars that stupid mothers should be using to do the carpool if they don’t want a typical minivan.
Every time I see a mom and three small kids in a Yukon XL I want to vomit with rage