By on September 17, 2008

There’s more news re: Chrysler’s mysterious-yet-overhyped 2010 model line, this time from former Treasury Secretary and current Cerberus bigwig John Snow. Despite earlier conflicting reports from John Campi and Jim Press on the number of 2010 model releases, Snow says there will be seven new Chryslers come the mythical year. The International Herald Tribune credulously summarizes Snow’s assertions with the methinks-the-lady-doth-protest-too-much headline: “Cerberus: New Chrysler Products Will Have Appeal.” What form this appeal will assume is left to our imagination. Anyway… “I know there’s a deep commitment here to putting out better products,” says Snow. “In the end, this comes down to producing cars that people want at attractive prices, and having your dealers in concert with the manufacturer. I think we’re going to get that right. I really do.” Really, you do? Because right now the only thing indicating that Chrysler’s woeful quality will improve is the fact that at least one model in the upcoming “product revolution” (product revulsion?) will be a rebadged Nissan Versa. Otherwise, we’re just getting more of the “quality improvement” executive chatter we’ve been hearing since (then Chrysler employee) Bob Lutz famously remarked that “there is no other area in the field of human communications that is as rife with disinformation as the story on Chrysler quality.”

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18 Comments on “Cerberus Swears You’ll Want A New Chrysler… Someday...”


  • avatar
    arapaima

    Even a rebadged Versa will have it’s share of fun. In less than 1000 miles on my brothers a valve in the fuel pump went out, and now as he gets to the 20k mark some of the details are starting to get ugly (warped door seals, carpet wearing out, stuff like that).

    Aside from that, lets see what they can do with themselves in this time. They make a nice truck so maybe they’ll take some hints from that sector and apply them to other vehicles.

  • avatar
    Seth L

    What about the Hornet?

  • avatar
    no_slushbox

    Bob Lutz famously remarked that “there is no other area in the field of human communications that is as rife with disinformation as the story on Chrysler quality.”

    I definitely defer to Bob’s expertise in disinformation.

    If Chrysler takes the 350Z, doesn’t make it too ugly, and charges $5K less than Nissan then I might be interested. Hell, they need a new Crossfire; they can’t keep selling 2006 Crossfires forever.

  • avatar
    Edward Niedermeyer

    What about the Hornet?

    Looks like that will probably be the Mexican-built Nissan Versa twin. Unless they’re still trying to pull the fat from the fire with Chery. Either way, it’s Aguascalientes or Wuhu. Unless the Iranians underbid the Chinese.

    Yay, quality!

  • avatar
    mel23

    John Snow. As Ms. Palin asked of that VP job, what is it that he does every day? I hadn’t heard a peep out of him in months.

  • avatar
    Charles T

    Private ownership, selling off prized names, and rebadging cars from otherwise unaffiliated companies. Swap “Cerberus” for “Phoenix Group”, and it turns into the MG Rover story. Let’s see if the story has a happier ending this time around.

  • avatar
    LXbuilder

    Chrysler already sold a repackaged Benz as the Crossfire, and no one liked it or its Mercedes quality.

  • avatar
    Ryan

    Whoa! Chrysler is still in business? I thought my local Chrysler/Dodge/Jeep dealership was a museum. Honest mistake…

  • avatar
    Matthew Danda

    Is Nissan quality that good these days? Given that the CEO is nicknamed, “Le Cost Cutter,” it is hard to associate him with “Makes good stuff that will last”

  • avatar

    As for reliability, I’ve had much better luck with an Neon and a PT Cruiser than I ever did with the few GM’s, a VW and 2 Toyota’s. Oddly the 95 Corolla was the worst car out of the whole lot.

  • avatar

    If they brought back the Challenger, I say bring back the ‘Cuda!

  • avatar
    OldandSlow

    The Plymouth brand is gone my friend, with it the Barracuda, Sports Fury and Road Runner.

  • avatar

    Hey, a man can dream, can’t he? A Chrysler ‘Cuda would be nice once the new Challenger runs its course, provided that Chrysler survives past 2012 or something…

  • avatar
    Andy D

    I already own one. A decrepit 88 Jeep Grandwagoner. If a nice 74 Dart comes my way, I’d be really tempted though.

  • avatar
    faster_than_rabbit

    John Snow. As Ms. Palin asked of that VP job, what is it that he does every day? I hadn’t heard a peep out of him in months.

    No mystery here. He’s the chairman of Cerberus, which is not generally noted for seeking publicity, and he isn’t likely to have anything to do with day-to-day operations at Chrysler.

    As for Palin, she simply needs to read the Constitution. The VP’s duties are spelled out quite clearly. Oops, now I’m going to be fired…

  • avatar
    rpol35

    “John Snow. As Ms. Palin asked of that VP job, what is it that he does every day? I hadn’t heard a peep out of him in months.”

    I’ll tell ya what that bald-headed buzzard does all day, he schemes up ways of making himself obscenely wealthy at the expense of others. That’s all he did when he was Chairman & CEO of CSX and I’m in a position to know.

  • avatar
    KixStart

    no_slushbox: “Hell, they need a new Crossfire; they can’t keep selling 2006 Crossfires forever.”

    You’d be surprised… I recently checked the local Dodge-Chrysler-Jeep-Eagle dealer inventory and, apparently, they can keep selling them forever. Or taking forever to sell them.

  • avatar
    joeaverage

    I’ve often wondered – how much of a car’s long term quality is dependent on it’s owner?

    Seen people get decades out of the cheapest cars and seen people kill a perfectly good quality car in 5 years.

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