By on September 3, 2008

Car Guy: 1. A person that lives and breathes cars; can tell you not only the make and model of every car on the street, but the displacement and power ratings as well. 2. A car enthusiast that values performance over practicality, comfort, reliability and efficiency (see Alfa Romeo Owner). For today’s QOTD purposes, lets stick with definition number two. Good? That said, I’m fortunate enough this week to be blasting all over Los Angeles in a Pontiac G8 GT (that’s the one with the 6.0-liter 361 hp V8 — more later). In my eyes, the Pontiac from down unda is a car guy’s car. Potent, fairly crude, not so hot on gas and a genuine thrill to drive. This morning (doing about 90 mph up a 6% grade) I passed a New Beetle Convertible. It had an orange top and matching orange rims. My gut, reptilian brain reaction was to smash it off the road. Who would drive such a dorky buggy? But is the Bug that J Mays penned any less of a car guy car than a Toyota Corolla/Camry? What about a (perish the thought) minivan? Or, the press car I traded last night for the G8, a Lincoln MKX? Yeah, the Ford Edge with 50 Cent’s teeth. I’m going to stick with the sherbet New Beetle. You?

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118 Comments on “Question of the Day: What’s the Most Un Car-Guy Car?...”


  • avatar
    romanjetfighter

    Sebring? Camry?

    If it has plastic wheel covers, you know that person’s not a car guy. :X

  • avatar
    rockit

    New Beetle and Toyota Prius

  • avatar
    Turbo G

    Jeep Compass (kind of a car?)

  • avatar
    Mark Morrison

    Ford Taurus
    Volkswagen Eos
    Honda Insight
    Lexus ES350

  • avatar
    N85523

    How about most, but certainly not all of, the CUV’s on the market. The Ford Edge, Toyota Rav4, Dodge Journey, et al bring nothing to the table performance-wise. They are only popular for their styling and comfort.

  • avatar
    mocktard

    Buick Reatta

  • avatar

    chevy aveo. no contest.

    the beetle is (was?) available in a turbo, and some car guys get off on the whole “wind in the hair” thing. and surely there are car GALS who enjoy the beetle.

  • avatar
    Martin Schwoerer

    If he or she is afraid of it getting muddy, or dusty, or dented, then they may be a car person, but certainly not *my* kinda car person. So in my book, any car equipped with a bra is not a car guy car, no matter how hard core it may be.

    Oh yeah — that wasn’t the question. There are some vehicles around that have no redeeming characteristics whatever. One I remember well, as it was impossible to drive without feeling drowsy, was a 2003 Mitsubishi Lancer I rented in Washington State. Fighting a constant urge to sleep on a daily basis is not pleasant. (Writing about the Lancer reminds me of a long-forgotten episode with a Chevy Cavalier, in 1997).

  • avatar
    pete

    Camry or Lexus ES350 – same thing really.

  • avatar
    Ingvar

    Anything Kia or Hyundai. Sorry, but those spells anti-car guy to me.

  • avatar
    Seth L

    Honda Ridgeline

  • avatar
    kgriff1118

    Ingvar – did you ever drive a Hyundai Tiburon with the V6? How could you call that an un-car guy car? As for the Kia lineup, no argument there.

  • avatar
    seoultrain

    big-ass Trucks/SUVs and cheap-ass penalty boxes.

  • avatar
    ckb

    Toyota Camry. The soulless dent-mobile (check out a few of their fenders!) for people that don’t want to drive cars. Combined with the fact that they are all silver or beige and you conclude that the owners put the least possible thought into what car they’d like to drive.

  • avatar
    SupaMan

    A minivan.

  • avatar
    1169hp

    Toyota Solara!!!

  • avatar
    AKM

    Really, any car driven by a non-car guy. I have more respect for a Corolla driven hard than for, say an Infiniti M35x driven under the speed limit.

    Or for a BMW 325xi whose driver thought that it had FWD, “because that’s what people want, and it’s better that way”. Ouch. I know it’s not the car’s fault, but…

  • avatar
    tigeraid

    a fascinating question… it’d be easier to answer if it was “which un-car guy car in each class”…

    The Beetle is definitely up there, as is the Camry, the Sebring/Stratus, and any minivan would qualify.

    Oh, and the Passat. Ultimate school teacher car.

  • avatar
    Ingvar

    kgriff1118: Doesn’t matter how good the Tiburon is. When asked what epitomizes the ultimate anti car-guy car, Kia and Hyundai is what pops into my mind. The Tiburon is like the Ikea-version of the Toyota Celica. Or what the Boxster is to die-hard 911-fans. To paraphraze one of the best & brightest on this site: If you don’t get it, it’s for you.

  • avatar
    psarhjinian

    New Beetle and Toyota Prius
    One is a car girl’s car**, the other a car geek’s car, so no.

    Jeep Compass (kind of a car?)
    No, a non-car-guy wouldn’t bother with something so mediocre.

    Volkswagen Eos
    Honda Insight
    Lexus ES350
    Girl car, geek car, rich old car guy’s car.

    Ford Taurus
    Getting closer.

    Camry
    Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!

    You could sub in the Corolla or Cobalt. The criteria is size and appliance-ness. If the car is bought because of styling, gadgetry or image, then it’s not a Un-Car-Guy Car. No matter how tepid the driving experience, there’s ego and desire in the purchase.

    There’s something almost Buddhist about such a vehicle, really. It’s both zen in nature and in total denial of self and ego. Again, the Camry LE comes to mind.

    ** before I get grief for “girl car” I’d like to make it known that I would enjoy a New Beetle or Eos, were one given to me, as they’re some of the few convertibles I can fit in.

  • avatar
    jmo

    Two cars – 2008 Sebring or a 2008 Pontiac Gran Prix. I can’t for the life of me figure out why anyone would buy one.

  • avatar
    Jonny Lieberman

    ckb: That’s funny because a Camry put a nice white dent in my blue WRX the other day at a liquor store.

    I stood and watched the whole thing, too.

  • avatar
    foobar

    I’m going to go with the absolutely soporific, Camrier-than-Camry pseudo-luxurified, AARP-special Hyundai Azera.

  • avatar
    Nicholas Weaver

    Anything by Toyota.

    Toyota has a “No defect” policy, and apparently they think “fun” is a defect.

  • avatar
    jmo

    In defence of the Camry. I could envisage a situation when after much consideration I’d buy a Camry SE. If you were someone who put 40-50k a year on your car and you needed it to make it through 60 or 72 payments – I’d say Camry is the way to go.

  • avatar
    NulloModo

    Hands down the Toyota Camry.

    To me a car guy’s car is more than just performance over anything else, it can be anything that stands out from the crowd, so a vehicle with exceptional style even if the performance if a bit weak would qualify (New Beetle, or Audi TT), as well as anything that is just not normal (e.g. buying a Suzuki SX4 over a Civic or Corolla) can qualify as a car-guys-car.

    So, yeah, the most boring, common, I-would-never-purchase-one-even-if-I-could-get-it-50%-off car out there is the Camry, closely followed by the Corolla.

  • avatar
    no_slushbox

    Anything made after 2005 (RIP MR2) with a Toyota badge on it.

  • avatar
    SunnyvaleCA

    Anything with an automatic. :-) (By “automatic” I mean anything without the 3rd pedal… or 4th pedal in the case of Mercedes.)

  • avatar
    Jon Paul

    The Chrysler Sebring

    The only parameter in which this car could ever stand out is its badness. It’s ugly, it’s not sporty, it’s not a good economy car, it’s not a chick car, it’s not a luxury car. In any category I think of, it’s about the last model I could imagine someone choosing.

  • avatar
    ppellico

    Mark Morrison

    Oh, man!
    2 of those are me!

    Come on people!
    I (rep)resent these remarks….
    Taurus?
    Camry?
    Lexus ES350?

    I better start ordering my Viagra now.

    But cars guys ALSO drive long distances.
    You can’t do that if you have your sports car chassis.

  • avatar
    kkleinwi

    Mercury Grand Marquis

  • avatar
    Justin Berkowitz

    Lexus SC430

    BMW 328xi with automatic

  • avatar
    quasimondo

    The entire Scion lineup.

  • avatar
    Steven Lang

    Used cars of recent memory…. Suzuki X-90

    New cars in today’s market…. Kia Rio… Automatic

  • avatar
    Redbarchetta

    Guess I fall into car guy #2 since I technically still own an Alfa Spider rusting to death.

    Anything Toyota currently makes tops the list, along with some Lexus\'(ES350) but really 60% of the stuff being sold is a soulless drive. We unfortunately live in an appliance buyers market:Camry, Corolla, Avalon, Yaris, Aveo, Cobalt, Malibu, Impala, all Pontiacs except the G8 and Solstice, Buick, KIA, Chrysler/Dodge, Mercury, Lincoln and arguably most Fords, Sentra, the fat ass Accord, all SUVs/Trucks/Minivans, even Subaru is starting to follow this group and I know there are many more I am forgetting.

    Being a car guy in this sort of market makes me feel like a dinasuar 64.75 million years ago, are our days numbered.

    The Beetle iasn’t that bad of a drive, for a guy it’s pretty gay looking but I though it was fun to drive. Well the Beetle TDI my brother had was fun to drive, he sold it after 3 months because he thought he looked gay driving it, and he was right.

  • avatar
    ppellico

    The most uncar guy…

    Its the idiot(s) who purchase the car for image.
    To use a car as an expression of one’s image is the goofiest, most un-car thing to do.

    Real car guys/gals buy a car because of the car…not the image.

    Thats the bottom line.

  • avatar

    Any Scion.

    Mix-‘n-match rims & decals doesn’t make you a car person, it makes you a point-and-click nimrod. There’s lawn mowers out there with more HP than those things.

  • avatar
    hal

    Mercedes B Class.

  • avatar
    morbo

    Anything from Toyota’s current lineup that’s not RWD (aka Taco’s/Tundra’s etc.). The Camry/Corolla/Yaris are the most soul-stripping cars you can drive. It’s the car everyone needs, but no one desires.

  • avatar

    The girlfriend’s mother/mother-in-law parse-out for a car-guy’s car is brilliant. My mother in law drives a 2004 Buick Century. Done and done.

  • avatar
    Mark Morrison

    What is that Honda box shaped thing called?

  • avatar
    ande5000

    Any car typically driven by men sporting hair plugs, jewelry and black open collar shirts unbuttoned to expose chest hair. This typically includes any German “cabriolet” (Porsches included) and Corvette roadsters.

  • avatar
    Pch101

    A car guy is a person, not a vehicle preference.

    I’ve known people who are absolutely passionate about dull stuff that I wouldn’t be caught dead in, while I’ve known others who drive nice rides but who are blase about them. The first group are car people, the second group just have too much money, or credit good enough to get leases that they probably shouldn’t have.

  • avatar
    Eazy

    The problem with answering this question is that you have to think about cars that are, by definition, almost impossible to take any notice of. Giving it my best guess I’d say the Kia Rondo, a car designed from the ground up to be cheap, inoffensive, and above all – Practical. The new Camry would be the perfect anti-car guy car, except it’s just too damn ugly to sink completely out of notice. In contrast, the Rondo’s aura of sheer sensibility in every area makes it nigh-invisible. I could drive by a hundred-strong fleet of the things without taking a second glance; if it’s not the ultimate anti-car guy car, it comes about as close as I can reckon.

    Is it a good car? Heck yes. It hauls seven, gets 29 mpg, and comes with a long warranty. And if I ever consider buying one, then I know it’s time to seriously reevaluate my life.

  • avatar

    You ask the question; but then you’ve got a picture of the answer already!

  • avatar
    Zarba

    1) Camry.

    2) Mercedes R-Class

    3) Mercury Mariner (Sorry, Jill!)

    I have to disagree with the Grand Marquis. The Panther will always get props.

    Looking backward, the Geo Tracker

  • avatar
    ppellico

    Anybody who thinks a car is ONLY something that is supposed to get you form point a to b…that’s NOT a car guy.

    Anybody that stands in the garage or yard at night just staring at the machine love.
    If you hand polish it.
    If you change your own oil because you take care of your car yourself.
    If you think you made your car feel better with the new oil.
    If you listen to the wheels on the road.
    If you like to stand on bridges and look at all the different cars going buy.

    These are the signs of a car guy.

    Can anybody add to this list?

    My brother supposedly sent me a picture of his cool Z8 with this blond model in front on the beach in Santa Monica.
    I don’t know if it was a trick or not…cause I didn’t see the girl.

  • avatar
    gaycorvette

    A 15 year old Toyota Corolla, but only if you bought it from a Salvadoran maid.

  • avatar
    ppellico

    I had to hide the other day when a saleperson was making a copy of my license.
    The salesperson who did this last week walked in.

    I was there to test drive a different car.

    I need to start going even farther away to dealers that are not on to me.

    I just love going in.
    Seeing whats new.
    Having the license copied…then going for a test drive.

    Some of us, like TTAC, don’t have the pedigree or papers to get cars delivered!!!

  • avatar
    capdeblu

    I nominate the Saturn Ion.

  • avatar
    SAAB95JD

    VW New Beetle, Jeep Compass.

  • avatar
    tree

    “Any Scion.

    Mix-’n-match rims & decals doesn’t make you a car person, it makes you a point-and-click nimrod. There’s lawn mowers out there with more HP than those things.”

    My dad gave me his 1st gen manual xB. 37 mpg calculated, unconventional but not flashy, sounds amazing at redline (sorry to say my dad got the upgraded muffler, but I don’t complain), extra cheap, extra spacious. What is not to love?

  • avatar
    RoweAS

    This is the most un car-guy car

    http://www.dodgelafemme.com/1956exteriors.htm

    By Appointment to Her Majesty The American Woman

  • avatar
    vanderaj

    I had a New Beetle turbo. It kicked ass, and was a total babe magnet. I’ve never been asked about my cars before or since except for the New Beetle. And the girls were generally young and hot. That’s its own reward just there. But wait, there’s more!

    It was one of the better drives I’ve had over the years, either owned or as a rental. Direct steering with good road feeling, flat cornering, responsive throttle, a snickity manual gearbox that allowed you to go 5-4 or 3-2 with confidence to hook up fast going into or coming out of the twisty bends, high levels of adhesion, great looks, and best of all totally 0wned dullard V8 drivers at the traffic light derby who weren’t expecting the chick car to move so fast. Unlike the Mini, the NB has suspension that soaks up the holes, has a supple ride and is firm and flat around corners. Along the Australian Great Ocean Road (think PCH, but longer and better), this car was a true joy to drive.

    If you’re a car guy, you’ll like driving one of these. You just need to man up and get over your homophobia. If you’re okay with your sexuality, the NB is one of the better retro drives. I’d have one again.

    My three worst drives:

    A) Chevy Aveo. Had one from Enterprise for a month. Dismal experience – a tinny “car” made by disinterested engineers to a price – about $4000 too little

    B) Dodge Nitro. I picked up one of these from Colorado Springs as an “upgrade”. Thanks Enterprise – not! I nearly had an accident every day in the seven days I had it. In the end, I had to dial back so far, I was doing 40 in 50 zones, and leaving 5-10 seconds distance between me and the car in front. I could not trust it to stop or steer its way out an accident. It certainly couldn’t accelerate out of a crappy situation. This crap box couldn’t steer (very loose connection to the road – wandered everywhere), stamping on the brake pedal did nothing, and it could not beat a Niki 650 in a traffic light derby. It had 300 and change miles on the clock. I have rented hundreds of cars over the years; this is the only one I’ve asked the rental company to put up on the hoist and make sure it’s safe. Unsafe at any speed.

    C) Most US domestic sedans. They’re starting to get the idea that you need style (the Malibu doesn’t suck too much now), but they’re absolutely awful. Graceless whitegoods-on-wheels styling, tinny feeling doors and openings, and Tonka produces tighter shut lines and classier interiors. Useless trunk space compared to any small hatch you care to point a stick at, let alone a SUV.

    D) Pretty much any truck or car with a live axle and leaf springs. E.G. Hummer. It’s not 1899 any more fellas!

    Andrew

  • avatar
    RoweAS

    For current cars, the Aveo or Sebring

  • avatar
    ihatetrees

    Poser winner: BMW 128i convertible with Automatic.

    Overall winner: Camry

  • avatar
    Verbal

    56 responses so far and no one has mentioned the PT Cruiser convertible. Did we forget our coffee this morning?

  • avatar
    thetopdog

    The Honda CRV (and nearly every CUV along with it) is probably the car I would least want to drive. It is the antithesis of a “car guy’s” car. CUVs are slow, ugly, and poor-handling. Not only that, but you gain NO extra passenger capacity over a sedan, and very little extra off-road ability either. The cargo room in CUVs is also often nothing special. You really are getting the worst of both worlds. CUVs make absolutely no sense to me, I’m actually offended by them

  • avatar
    Nicodemus

    “A car enthusiast that values performance over practicality, comfort, reliability and efficiency (see Alfa Romeo Owner).”

    No, a modern Alfa is the very definition of an un-car guy-car. The owner of same is one who is conscious of image whilst being ambivalent to substance. That is modern alfas, particularly the 159 are monumentally lame in all the requesite area that make a car pleasant (with the posible exception being they look good) whilst retaining the annoying crapness that people euphemistically refer to as “Character”.

  • avatar
    Robstar

    Hm,

    I don’t know a single “geek” that drives a hybrid. They are all sports car drivers or motorcycles, with the occasional family car for the whipped ones :)

  • avatar
    ctoan

    This all seems like a bit of arrogance to me. Yeah, some people are completely ambivalent about their cars, but chances are that Beetle driver was in love with the thing, and I can’t see how you can say that person isn’t a “car guy” just because they love a car for a different reason than you might.

  • avatar
    Nemphre

    I’m probably not the person to ask considering I drive a beige Corolla that I don’t wash and don’t care if people dent it. It has a manual transmission and an aftermarket air intake though so that counts for something, right?

    I’d go with any of what I perceive as poser mobiles. Monte Carlo. Last two generations of Eclipse. SC430. The last Mercury Cougar. At least Toyotas don’t pretend to be sports cars. Although, you could argue against that what with the S packages for the Yaris and Corolla, and the commercials where they call the Corolla sporty.

  • avatar
    ronin

    Disagree on the Taurus.

    Because some car guys like to drive, long and far. Going fast is way down the list, as is canyon carving. They need sufficient comfort, amenities, and power to ride up the interstate, passing state line after state line, with ample room to hold coffee cups, twinkie wrappers, coke cans, and to make a bologna sandwich while driving.

    If you read ‘On the Road,’ you’ll see what I mean. Long distances, there is better than here, and the cry of the wild goose two time zones away is enough to make one of they car guys motivated.

    A Taurus is a respectable offering for them.

  • avatar
    Jonny Lieberman

    ctoan: Oh, I surely do see how I can say that.

    An ex of mine had a New Beetle and she loved it because it had a flower pot built in.

    I worked with a guy in San Francisco that bought a first gen RAV4 because he loved the commercial where the (then) little RAV4 backed out of a spot because a dog barked at it. He thought the dog was really cute. I’m not kidding.

    I have two friends — a married couple — that bought an Audi TT when it first came out because they loved how it looked. Neither of them could drive stick, so they returned it a week later.

    All of those people are my friends, and they are people, but they sure as hell ain’t car people.

    Arrogant? I’ve been called worse.

  • avatar
    IC Turbo

    You know, car guys need basic transportation too. Car guys’ cars aren’t always reliable or practical year round. That’s why I have a Camry SE with a manual transmission in addition to my heavily modified 240SX with a SR20DET under the hood. I get all the fun and speed I need with the 240, but the Camry is still fun too. People forget that underneath that body cladding that the SE has stiffer springs, significantly stiffer struts, and chassis bracing that every other Camry doesn’t come with.

    Anything with a manual transmission can be a car guys’ car. My vote for a non car guys’ car is anything with an automatic and more than 25 lbs per HP, since some drag racer will chime in with how fast their automatic runs the 1/4 mile in.

  • avatar
    kds

    I’m confirming it’s a Lexus ES330, since I’ve been driving my wife’s for the last few months.

    I’m a self-confessed car-guy, not helped by the fact that my neighbor is in the auto-journalist biz.

    Short story long, my wife is the least car-guy(girl?) on the planet.

    Basic mantra, get me from A-to-B, resulting in a Toyota Tercel and a Nissan Sentra. Worst words ever to me were “I need to borrow your car today”. Shudder.

    I was able to convince her that “swoopy four doors” would get her from A-to-B and be less cringe-worthy on those swap days.

    This resulted in a VW Passat which although was fun to drive also introduced the term “reliable” to the mantra. It was the self-ejecting head light assembly and the instrument lighting that was apparently designed using anti-circadian rhythm. Lights on when light outside, OK. Lights dark when dark outside, not so.

    This then, brings us to the Lexus. Quiet, capable, comfy, yes. Fun to drive, well let us not go there.

    I’ve adjusted by learning to still cut the corners and use plenty of throttle, but it’s really all about keeping it balanced to allow some type of semi-rapid driving style.

    My darkest fear? What if I start to like it?

  • avatar
    Steven Lang

    Look guys… I’ve already nailed this and made your lives easy.

    Used car: Suzuki X-90 Automatic
    New car: Kia Rio LX Automatic

    Between these two cars you have zero power, zero handling, zero quality interior components, terrible exterior design, and absolutely no chance in hell of being enthusiastic about the driving experience.

    In fact, cars like these two would make public transportation an almost palatable option for most car guys.

    The only cars I can think of with remotely comparable levels of ‘patheticality’ would be…. other Suzukis and Kias.

    When we start seeing Malaysian and Chinese manufacturers in our market, the answer may be different. But for now the un – ‘car-guy’ crown should go to these two models.

  • avatar
    Mrb00st

    there are two ends of the car spectrum: car guy cars (extreme examples being the Ariel Atom, Lotus Exige, 340R, and 2-11, Westfields, etc.) On the other end, there is the car-as-appliance.

    The FURTHEST EXTREME towards this end… the Ariel Atom on the other side… is a 4cyl automatic base-model 1995 Camry, with steel wheels, in beige.

    easy question.

  • avatar
    thetopdog

    Jonny Lieberman : Why does it not surprise me that a guy who would buy a Rav4 based on a cute dog in the commercial lives in San Fransisco…

    (Not that there’s anything wrong with that)

  • avatar
    cmus

    As far as new cars go…I’d pretty much have to go with anything Toyota, Kia, Hyundai.

    I mean, they can put a GT badge on an Elantra…but does that really help? At least you can get a Turbo Beetle with some umph. (Although it’s certainly not a “guy” car)

    I saw someone that had bolted (with deck bolts, no less) a 5 foot long (or thereabouts) 2×4 to their trunk lid on their 200x Kia Somethingorother. At least they had spacers to let some airflow in between.

    I doubt it provided much of a performance boost.

    Toyota can *almost* be saved by the Scion tC and the Lexus IS…almost.

  • avatar
    Scorched Earth

    As an embarrased ES300 driver, I must agree with all the nominations above.

  • avatar
    Jonny Lieberman

    thetopdog: You know… he is gay. Like, actually homosexual gay.

    However, the guy he was dating at the time drove an XJ-12.

    So go figure.

  • avatar
    SherbornSean

    two words: Highlander Hybrid

  • avatar
    carlos.negros

    Nothing says tiny wee-wee like a poser in a Hummer.

  • avatar
    Kendahl

    What’s the Most Un Car-Guy Car? Any vehicle that can be described by the adjectives “practical” and “sensible”.

  • avatar
    MBella

    PT Cruiser

  • avatar
    rpn453

    Of the cars I’ve driven in the last few years, I’d have to pick the current generation Toyota Camry. The one from the 90s isn’t bad, especially with a V6 and 5 speed.

    Ford Taurus
    Volkswagen Eos
    Honda Insight
    Lexus ES350

    I always thought an Insight with a 5 speed would be fun to drive. I haven’t actually driven one, so I won’t argue with you on that one if you have!

  • avatar
    Ingvar

    I disagree on the Beetle, and for that matter all cars that are bought to make a statement. The antithesis to a car-guy is the persons who buy cars as appliances. A beetle is not an appliance, it’s a statement. A Beetle Convertible with an orange top definitely so. A Kia Rio is an appliance, and for that matter, the Corolla and Camry as well.

  • avatar
    yellow_04

    Toyota Camry. I own one and I still cant get my head around how unremarkable it is in every way. Beige, 4 banger, auto, it cant be any less vanilla. Thankfully the srt-4 rescues my soul whenever I drive it.

  • avatar
    Samir

    YOu know a lot of car guys restore old air-cooled Beetles. I just got back from a pre-1980s car gathering yes, there was the usual contingent of Chevrolet V8s, Ford ponies and classic Ferraris and Porsches. But in one corner were a bunch of Beetle guys proud to leave the back door open. I totally ignored them – but I doubt you’ll see people doing this for many of today’s cars.

    Don’t forget the Beetle spawned one of Germany’s ultimate car-guy type of cars!

    As for a Camry, you know they can outrun old Corvettes now! No kidding… 265HP in the V6.

    A car guy car needs two things: power and styling. Bad handling can be forgiven because of the muscle cars. Ditto for bad braking. A lot of the tuner kids these days still have “mad respect” for the old muscles.

    A non-car guy car therefore must have anemic power and be ugly. No candidate fits this better than the Smart Fortwo.

    (until you put a Hayabusa engine in it)

  • avatar
    Mark MacInnis

    Checked through all the postings, and thought I would get through the whole thing with out any getting it right…..

    bravo, Samir…

    the Smart fortwo is the ultimate non-car guy car.

    Comes with a free Nuetering surgery…..any male who sits in one of these damned things has his voice go up three octaves, and suddenly wants rush right home and watch “Beaches”….

  • avatar
    psarhjinian

    Steven Lang : Used car: Suzuki X-90 Automatic

    I’d totally buy one of these if I didn’t have a child. They’re just so ridiculous they transcend stupid and approach awesome from the opposite direction.

    Really.

  • avatar
    Mrb00st

    Ok, I’m going to start a list of cars people have mentioned that i disagree with, and why.

    Honda Insight – Seriously? You’re going to hate on one of the few sub-ton modern cars? The Insight handled great, it was a personal challenge to see how high your gas mileage could go, and it was cool. Sure it was slow, but it’s the only hybrid that you’d ever catch my car-guy ass in. I love those. (Ok, with a K20C and 6MT swap… and coilovers… ehhh…)

    Ford Edge – despite being an appliance-type vehicle, these are quite nice. For an “SUV” the suspension is well controlled, the interior is atractive and comfortable, and when that 6-speed FINALLY gets enough downshifts in, it really picks up and goes. For what it is, it’s quite nice.

    Pontiac Grand Prix – let’s not forget the GXP with the 300 horsepower 5.3L small block and trick suspension tuning. And the old GTP Comp G was badass, too.

    New Beetle – Ok, it’s girly. That’s the point. And the 2.0L 8v is awful. But a 1.8T or Beetle Turbo S is a hugely amusing little car. I would CERTAINLY drive a Beetle… if it was a black Turbo S, with black wheels, yellow tinted fogs, slammed on coilovers, with a GT28RS Eliminator kit on it.

    i guess the anti car-guy car, then, is one with no redeeming features but nothing to go against it. That’s the difference between an appliance and a crap car. There isn’t anything blatently WRONG with a Camry. Whereas the Suzuki X-90 didn’t do ANYTHING WELL, it was just simply crap.

  • avatar
    hwyhobo

    It’s not the car, it’s the driver. If you have to worry about it, you have more serious issues.

    I don’t worry about it – I make every car a car-guy car.

  • avatar

    A Toyota Camry Solara. Any version. You pay enough money to get a real drivers’ car but don’t.

    A geek can take a crap car, do tires shocks and brakes, and salvage some fun, even on a budget.

    I have to second the guy who said BMW. A BMW 325i, premium package and leather with DRLs activated says “I bought this because it’s a Rolex with wheels”. They usually don’t notice its slow.

  • avatar
    Acd

    Toyota takes gold, silver and bronze.

    1. Toyota Prius–Everything about it says car-hating eco-weenie.
    2. Toyota Yaris–The official car of dorks everywhere now that the Echo is out of production.
    3. Toyota Corolla–Most of today’s Corolla buyers would have bought a Nova in the 70’s.

  • avatar
    Usta Bee

    Toyota Echo

    Toyota Previa

    Oldsmobile Silhouette

    Ford Tempo

  • avatar
    thetopdog

    I will say this again since nobody seems to agree with me

    Every single CUV is the antithesis of a ‘car guy’s’ car. They have absolutely NO redeeming qualities. They do nothing better than a comparable sedan, wagon or hatchback. If somebody can explain to me the point of a 5 passenger CUV, I will trade my Corvette for a Honda CRV tomorrow

  • avatar
    srclontz

    Kia Rio. Boring as a Toyota, and less reliable. Makes you wish you had as nicely styled a car as an Aveo. In general, this is as bad as a car can be, without actually having an identity. The perfect car for someone who isn’t a car guy.

  • avatar
    ttilley

    Every single CUV is the antithesis of a ‘car guy’s’ car. They have absolutely NO redeeming qualities. They do nothing better than a comparable sedan, wagon or hatchback. If somebody can explain to me the point of a 5 passenger CUV, I will trade my Corvette for a Honda CRV tomorrow

    Only if you can explain the point of a truck-based SUV that, since it’s never used to tow anything, sports a lighted hitch cover, together with a “Cowboy Up America” sticker.

    Most truck-based SUVs I see are ersatz station wagons. If that’s what you’re buying anyway, why not get something that does the same job a bit more efficiently?

  • avatar
    thetopdog

    ttilley :

    I don’t own nor intend to buy a truck-based SUV, but they at least have a purpose. Whether or not they’re used for that purpose is not my call, but they can do things that other vehicles just aren’t capable of doing

    CUVs on the other hand can’t do anything other vehicles can’t do, in addition to doing a whole bunch of things worse. Like I said, the worst of both worlds

    The ‘logic’ of “a truck-based SUV is rarely used for towing/off-roading, so a CUV makes sense” is inherently flawed

  • avatar
    guyincognito

    Porsche Cayenne hands down. Its like staring the death of Porsche in the face. No car guy alive should be able to even hear its name.

  • avatar
    Steven Lang

    I can’t believe this.

    All of you are debating vehicles that actually have merit.

    What did I give you? Two vehicles that have absolutely no meritable components to them.

    Zero

    No reliability

    No power

    No durability

    No quality

    Nothing

    Really… it just blows my mind that any of you would consider either of these vehicles as ‘car-guy’ material.

    As for these bottom of the barrel picks….

    Toyota Echo: High quality, low-cost and extremely efficient. A car guy who is looking for a simple commuting vehicle wouldn’t be out of his mind for choosing one.

    Toyota Previa: Ummm… Rear-wheel drive 4 cylinder minivan that can actually tow a decent amount, has a ‘Trek’ inspired interior, and surprising durability. These actually have a dedicated enthusiast following in the thousands.

    Oldsmobile Silhouette: Someone here actually recommended one of these. I think they were high on acid but again… it does have some power and some level of durability. Okay, it’s mediocre… but not nearly as bad as an X-90 or Rio.

    Ford Tempo: Same guys who buy and keep on replacing parts off of ranger pickups did the same for the Tempo. As I recall they had a V6 model, a coupe, a 5-speed, and even a diesel engine. They were more or less the Ford ‘Corolla’ of that time and were more aerodynamic than most other compacts.

    Feel free to defend the Rio and X-90… I think I need to freshen up on my understanding of the 1980’s Plymouth Belvedere and Dodge 600.

  • avatar
    ttilley

    The ‘logic’ of “a truck-based SUV is rarely used for towing/off-roading, so a CUV makes sense” is inherently flawed

    Truck-based SUVs are sold as ersatz station wagons by their manufacturers, not by me. I understand a Baja Desert Rat buying a 4-Runner. Selling to such people is a low-volume business, that can’t justify the large number of truck-based SUVs out there now.

    If you choose to sell such vehicles as ersatz station wagons, despite their capability to do other stuff, and despite the capability of other vehicles to do the same job, then you deserve all the ridicule I can muster. You also deserve to have car-based mileage and safety regulations apply to your truck-based vehicle.

    Getting to the CUV…some are 7-seaters. Plus, some can carry 5 people plus lots of crap. I don’t own a CUV…I seldom have 5 people and my Subie can carry all the people and crap I need. But if I did need to carry 5 people and lots of their (and my) crap then a CUV might work a bit better.

  • avatar

    The Prius, hands down. That thing is boring to look at, much less drive. The eco-nerds that worship that thing annoy me…

    guyincognito, the Cayenne apparently gave Porsche enough money to produce the Carrera GT, from what I heard. So the Cayenne has some redeeming qualities…

    cmus, you do know about the Hyundai Genesis Coupe, right?

  • avatar
    thetopdog

    ttilley : I understand how truck-based SUVs are marketed, but how a vehicle is marketed still has no bearing on it’s merits. The fact is truck-based SUVs are capable of something unique. I didn’t think we were talking about marketing, I was under the impression that we were talking about the individual attributes of the vehicles themselves

    I did limit my ridicule of CUVs to the 5 passenger versions, since the 7 passenger ones actually have a (small) reason to exist.

    Your choice of car proves my point, a Subaru wagon can do everything a CUV can do and more. Certain 5-passenger CUVs may have slightly more space, but I don’t think the difference in cargo room is that significant (although I could be wrong since I don’t have any numbers to back me up)

    I still haven’t seen a convincing reason for a car-guy to even consider a CUV

  • avatar
    ttilley

    I understand how truck-based SUVs are marketed, but how a vehicle is marketed still has no bearing on it’s merits.

    Mechanically…sure. As a practical matter, most truck-based SUVs currently on the market wouldn’t be there if it weren’t for the marketing. Whatever the vehicle’s merits, if it doesn’t sell in adequate volume it won’t exist. Or, it’ll generate a TruthAboutCars DeathWatch series.

    I did limit my ridicule of CUVs to the 5 passenger versions, since the 7 passenger ones actually have a (small) reason to exist.

    OK…I’ve been flamed here for ridiculing 6-cylinder versions of 8-cylinder muscle cars…

    Your choice of car proves my point, a Subaru wagon can do everything a CUV can do and more. Certain 5-passenger CUVs may have slightly more space, but I don’t think the difference in cargo room is that significant (although I could be wrong since I don’t have any numbers to back me up)

    Lacking numbers myself…I can tell you that I can have five passengers, including myself, with no problem. I can also carry lots of crap for two or three people, including myself. I can’t carry five people plus lots of crap…only some crap.

    There are CUVs on the market that, I think, look better suited for the “5 people plus lots of crap” requirement. Including from Subaru.

  • avatar

    My best friend’s old Geo Prizm. (you can check it out on motorlegends.com, click on “people & cars.”) When I drove that thing, I found it so uninspiring that I thought I’d rather not drive at all than drive it. that, to me, is what makes a car a zero on the car-guy car scale.

    Any car that inspires no passion of any sort under any conditions.

    Any truck-based SUV or PU.

    Kia Rio.

  • avatar
    alextheman

    okay hold up, grab a beer and listen. i have worked construction for five years and my 98 olds manvan is perfect balance of everything i need. just nothing i want. wait… damn you guys are completely right… the minivan blows

    on a side note i am gunna stick up for the my holy grail of roadsters, the porsche boxter

  • avatar
    James2

    tree wrote about the Scion xB: What is not to love? Um, how about the styling? How about the son-of-Tercel engine? This thing is such a rolling appliance that it needs all the aftermarket mods just to come UP to a level of semi-respectability. And even then it’s still the box a refrigerator came in. No amount of mods can hide the ghastly looks.

    kds: Trust me, you will never come to like the Lexus ES330. I’ve driven my parents’ ES quite a few times. I have never warmed up to it. I hate it even more each time.

    In fact, last time I drove it, the key broke apart. Literally. It seems the actual key itself only goes in to the fob just enough not to come out. The frequent torque one applies to fob when twisting it causes that little bit of metal to eat away at the plastic housing. It costs $80 just to replace the fob. Had the electronics inside needed replacing, then it’s a triple-digit deal.

    Anyway, the ES’ steering linkage is composed of limp spaghetti noodles. This thing requires near-constant steering corrections–even going in a straight line!!! The brakes… um, is the ES actually equipped with brakes? Seriously, they just don’t bite, just don’t offer any confidence. Then we get to the stupid packaging. This is a big car externally –at least it looks it– yet it is so cramped on the inside. I thought FWD was supposed to improve space-efficiency. It seems Toyota engineers didn’t read that memo.

    For all its Lexus-ness, it’s not especially quiet or smooth-riding, either. Did I mention it’s ugly, too? It’s a bloated mess. But Toyota has brainwashed folks like my parents who aren’t exactly discerning about their rides. Give ’em good customer service and they are plenty happy. When the stock market rebounds my dad may give this POS to my sister and get the ES350. (I’m whispering to my mom that they should get the Jaguar XF.)

  • avatar
    SacredPimento

    In my mind, there really is no such thing as an “Un Car-Guy Car”. I work with a guy who’s about 6’7″ and is into MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) and he drives a VW Jetta and he drives it like he stole it. Another guy I know who looks like the meanest red neck you ever saw drives a Honda CRV.

    Then there’s my boss. A 5’4″ mangina who sounds like Kermit the Frog. He drives a lifted full-size 4×4 Dodge pickup with a Cummins diesel. He’s never taken it off road. yeah, that’s right. He’s never driven it on a dirt road. Wanna know something worse? he’s never towed a damned thing.

    So, I think AKM hit the nail on the head:

    Really, any car driven by a non-car guy. I have more respect for a Corolla driven hard than for, say an Infiniti M35x driven under the speed limit.

  • avatar
    rpn453

    the Smart fortwo is the ultimate non-car guy car.

    I might have to go with you guys on that pick. I can’t think of any new vehicle that is less desirable to me than that thing.

  • avatar
    highrpm

    +1 for the BMW 3 series with auto trans. These folks bought the car as jewelry and nothing more. Like somebody already said, the base 3-series cars are not that nice and not that fast.

    I never thought very highly of guys that bought a Corvette or Porsche with the auto trans. It’s going too far into the jewelry and “extension” categories.

    I have two examples of cars that real men drive. Not posers with their auto trans Vettes and Bimmers, or dudes with huge diesel trucks. Here they are:

    The minivan. Basically every dude that’s driving one is realizing that it’s an old lady car, but they are driving it because they need the utlity or seating capacity or something. They usually have a damn good reason to be dricing that car. Also, lightly used domestic minivans are dirt cheap to buy so you don’t care too much if you spill some concrete mix in the back or if the kids drop their juice cups in it. The easy choice here would have been to get the big honkin’ dualie pickup. Real men can suck it up and drive the minivan.

    The Miata is another guy car. Every dude that buys one, does so knowing that he’ll inevitably get the “you bought a chick car” comment. The posers would cringe at this point and get a Corvette with the auto trans. Real men can get over themselves and buy the Miata.

  • avatar
    shaker

    The “Jonny Cab” from Total Recall…

    Before Arnold ripped out the “driver” and started hooning through gunfire.

    Which means that it’s not the car, but what you do with it.

    Even the Kia Rondo that I recently drove as a rental was “fun” when I decided to use the manu-shift automatic to forge through traffic.

    Any 4-pot with a manual tranny can be a blast, if you (prudently) occasionally try to “see what she’ll do”.

    Just buy the most practical car that you have to, but one that has some ability for you to “take control”, so that for those few moments, you can “drive it like you stole it”.

  • avatar
    Pig_Iron

    Sedans. No, wait, those pickup trucks pretending to be sedans.

  • avatar
    gimmeamanual

    If you bought an automatic when a manual was available. And don’t give me that “every day in traffic” line.

  • avatar
    captdownshift

    i’m going to have to used on this one.

    a used K car, non turbo of course, or a ford tempo or la bron

  • avatar
    cleek

    Any BMW with an automatic transmission.

  • avatar
    thetopdog

    Nobody has been able to explain to me the virtue of a car guy even considering a Honda CRV or similar CUV

    I’m still waiting…

  • avatar
    carguy622

    Buick LaCrosse
    Chevrolet Monte Carlo
    Ford Mustang V6 Automatic
    Pontiac G3 (Are the really going to do this?)
    Pontiac G5 (Did they really do this?)

  • avatar
    dolo54

    I immediately thought “new beetle” before I even clicked on the link. Camry is up there with PT Cruiser (although some owners think they’re car guys).

  • avatar
    thetopdog

    carguy622 :

    I’ve had automatic V6 ‘Stangs a number of times as rentals, and I’ve had a lot of fun in them. Although I’d never buy one, they’re more fun than anything else on the rental lot, and a lot more fun than anything else mentioned in this thread

  • avatar

    My vote is for the Camry. Any Camry. Any Year. C-A-M-R-Y.

    But I agree with Steven Lang’s two models as well. Good call, Steven.

  • avatar
    whatdoiknow1

    Come on, are you all a bunch of chicks looking for some macho dude to “pick you up” in their macho ride!

    If I had a dime for every “car guy” that found themselves the proud owner of a lowly Toyota or Hyundai at some point in their life I would be a wealthy man today.

    IMO an Escalade,Hummer H2, or any other silly, doofy SUV is the epitome of what an Uncarguy type of car is.

    Some of you guys really need to get a life! Those dude driving around in automatic equiped 3 series would laugh their a$$es off at some of the dumb commets here. Hey guys, it is just a car! Yeap that 3 series is nothing more than basic transportation for the guy that makes a bit more money than that funny dude who thinks his v6 Mustang is the bomb!

    I dont know, maybe it is my urban perspective here but from my experience only guys with serious “issues” make a big deal out of what other MEN drive. Only men that need external support for their masculinity think of cars in terms of girl or guy cars. Now dont get me wrong I will not drive around in a pink or rainbow colored bettle, by the same token I would not be caught dead in a pimped out SUV.

    Personally I will “roll up” anywhere, in whatever car is at hand and feel just fine about myself. I guess I shine better outside of my ride than in it. I love cars but I also love other things in life. I would much rather be the guy in the Corolla with friends than that fat soft-bodied slob cruising around all alone in his macho Vette begging for whatever attention his “Guy” car will get him.

  • avatar
    Steven Lang

    captdownswift… I actually saw a mid-80’s Lebaron on the road today. Soft top up, silver in color, in very good shape.

    I can admire someone who keeps an old car in good shape regardless of the brand. In fact I’d be more than happy to have a long conversation about their old car than their new car.

    I see more than enough of those at the auctions.

  • avatar
    Mike66Chryslers

    I’m convinced that there is a fan-base for almost every motor vehicle ever produced, no matter how flawed or bland the vehicle is.

    Based strictly on the definition of “car guy” in the original question, an un-car-guy car would have to be practical, comfortable, reliable and efficient but NOT have a shred of performance characteristics.

    That sounds like the description of a minivan to me, perhaps a Toyota or Honda. From my own experience that could also describe a 1992-96 Buick Roadmaster (without the towing package).

    My old 1984 VW Rabbit diesel (non-turbo) could also qualify, as long as you’re in the driver’s seat and not in the back seat. otherwise, it was decidedly UNcomfortable.

    Disclaimer: Although I rather like my mom’s Roadmaster and I miss my VW Rabbit, I consider myself very much a car guy.

  • avatar
    rpn453

    Nobody has been able to explain to me the virtue of a car guy even considering a Honda CRV or similar CUV

    I’m still waiting…

    Alright, I might have one for you. My buddy, also a mechanical engineer and car guy who all through university and shortly after regularly proclaimed he’d never own an automatic, bought an automatic-equipped Mazda Tribute a couple of years ago. He injured his left leg mountain biking (some kind of nerve damage, he still can’t even walk for any long distances) and it was painful to operate a clutch. He then got a job where he needed to travel to oilfield sites regularly and so needed a 4WD vehicle with some ground clearance that he could fit all-terrain tires onto, but he didn’t have a lot of money yet and didn’t want an expensive gas guzzler. He also wanted to be able to pull a small trailer so he could carry his sport bike and dirt bike, as well as materials for home maintenance, so he ended up getting a V6 auto Tribute. I can’t disagree with his decision; it made sense and, with studded tires, it was damn good in winter (we’re in Western Canada).

    His salary has since doubled and his student loans are gone, and he’s had to re-weld his trailer a couple times due to the abuse of off-roading with it to get to dirt bike locations, so he just sold it and bought a 5.7L Tundra quad cab with a 6-1/2′ bed to carry his bikes in that instead (they’re pretty much giving those trucks away these days). He just bought a Harley Sportster too.

  • avatar
    carguy622

    thetopdog:

    I rented a Mustang V6 auto convertible for a week just this past July. As a rental I’ve got no problem with them, they are enjoyable rides. My feeling is that an owner would loves cars would never get the V6 with the auto.

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