We can’t emphasize enough the importance of cupholders when choosing or enjoying you daily transportation. For one thing, they provide enormous health benefits. In terms of avoiding avoiding dehydration, cupholders are literally life-saving. Before cupholders, thousands of American motorists died of heat prostration. Many a family road trip turned to tragedy, as sweating children nodded off and expired; their parents, grateful for the silence, oblivious to their progeny’s distress. And then there’s cupholders’ positive effects on caffeination, a proven boon to overall driver alertness and ability. The preventative effects of cupholders regarding third degree burns from the aforementioned caffeinated beverages are legendary. Although the auto detailing industry has suffered from a huge decrease in spillage since the advent of the cupholder, we believe that the cupholder is landmark of human engineering and ingenuity, making our lives safer, more comfortable and convenient one Big Gulp– or Clover Burundi– at a time. In that spirit of celebration, we present to you TTAC’s top ten cupholders, as chosen by our readers in a highly scientific and entirely non-democratic process. [NB: due to programming, er, stuff, please leave your comments on this, the post’s main page. Unless you feel compelled to do otherwise.]

In addition to my day job, I’m also a jazz pianist. Recently, after playing an hour of cocktail music for a swank black-tie occasion, I spied an automotive anomaly while walking to my car. The familiar face of a 1968 Mustang broke up the row of elite (or elitist?) German and Japanese iron in the valet lot. “Ah,” I thought poetically, “an oasis of sincerity in a desert of automotive pretense.” But then I noticed the rectangular grill-mounted fog lamps and the lack of a pony emblem. Drawing closer, I realized that I stood before the height of Sixties automotive fluff: a 1968 Mustang GT California Special. The “sincerity” part of my previous thought immediately sprouted hooves and sauntered away.

VeeDub in Germany has just issued their numbers for the past nine months of 2008. Viewed through the prevailing “the world is coming to an end” perspective, VW’s financial results are financial pornography, performing better than the male lead in a Russ Meyer movie. We’re talking a 15 percent gain, a money shot of more than $6b pretax. From January to September 2008, VW moved 4.8m units and grabbed a 10.1 percent share of the world market, according to the usually reliable Automobilwoche [sub]. Despite of what’s happening elsewhere in the piston business, Volkswagen’s CFO Hans-Dieter Pötsch stands by his bullish guidance for 2008: the predicted numbers will come true. Elsewhere, China’s automakers have also released profit reports for the third quarter.

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“A bankruptcy of any of the Big Three could be even worse, a harsh reality considered unthinkable a year ago.” So says Detroit Columnist Daniel Howes in his latest column— despite having discussed (and dismissed) GM’s C11 with me two years ago. As proof that a year is an eon in politics, presidential candidate Barack Obama is promising personal intervention in Detroit’s downfall, telling a TV interviewer that he would meet with all the parties concerned, without preconditions. “Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., said in a TV interview that if he were elected president, he would meet immediately with the heads of Detroit’s automakers and the UAW to discuss a strategy to make the industry globally competitive. ‘The notion that we can’t compete in an industry that we created I think is, you know, unacceptable. And not only that, but you’ve got an entire Midwest, Ohio, Michigan, big chunks of Indiana, parts of my home state of Illinois, that — the entire fabric of those, those states’ economies are built around the auto industry,’ Obama said, according to a transcript from NBC News.” I wonder what they’ll talk about *cough* bailout *cough*. Meanwhile, the DetN acknowledges our last story: the White House says a GM – Chrysler merger subsidy isn’t on the cards. But the hometown paper claims GM hasn’t given up.

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“Earlier this week, industry sources said GM had asked for roughly $10 billion in an unprecedented government rescue package to support its acquisition of Chrysler from Cerberus Capital Management LP,” Automotive News [sub] reports. Today, we learn that “The U.S. Treasury Department is not negotiating with General Motors and the owners of Chrysler LLC on a request to provide direct government aid to their proposed merger, a Bush administration official said today.” Uncle Sam’s reluctance to grease the deal’s wheels puts it in serious doubt. As in kills it dead. Which raises a familiar question: what the Hell was the point of this merger thing, anyway? There are two main theories. 1) GM viewed Chrysler as a cash grab and 2) GM is/was/wanted to position itself for a massive federal bailout. Proponents of theory two suggested that the feds strongly favored a GM – Chrysler merger so they could then bailout two Dodos with one stone (or something like that), and “save” Chrysler’s jobs. When it became clear that no such jobs rescue was possible, the Treasury balked. Assuming the American Leyland deal doesn’t go down, all that’s left for Chrysler is Chapter 7 liquidation. Yesterday’s Wild Ass Rumor of the Day– which had GM and Renault/Nissan carving-up Chrysler– could well be ChryCo’s pre-C7 valuation process. As for GM, one way or another, they’ll get their own damn bailout. Too big so they failed is still seen in D.C. as too big too fail. At least until the election’s over…

Oh noes! According to an unnamed source referred to by Valleywag as “the Tesla insider,” the Silicon Valley electric car maker only has $9m in the bank. And that’s it. Well OK– there’s a bit more. This “insider” (Gawker just loves insiders) is a friend of blogger Owen Thomas and a “longtime employee” (define “longtime” for Tesla.) Problem? They’ve taken “multiple tens of millions” from depositors. And (apparently) spent it. And the “insider” is saying Tesla may just keep the remaining cash and not deliver any more Roadsters. I’ve been standing on the sidelines of this particular Death Watch series (strangely and flatteringly, Valleywag tagged their story “Deathwatch”) because a dear friend of mine works at Tesla. Did I say “works?” I meant worked, as in he got “broomed” the other week when Tesla made with the massive layoffs. Bad move on my part, as it looks like Tesla and friendship just don’t mix. Don’t trust me? Trust the insider, “I actually talked a close friend of mine into putting down $60k for a Tesla Roadster. I cannot conscientiously be a bystander anymore and allow my company to deceive the public and defraud our dear customers. Our customers and the general public are the reason Tesla is so loved. The fact that they are being lied to is just wrong.” Oops! And agreed. Lying is wrong.

A report released last week by the U.S. House Committee on Transportation documents 4k cases where employees in federal vehicles in Washington, D.C. and New York City skipped-out on parking tickets last year, turning their backs on $700k in unpaid fines. “Over one-half of all workers in the southernmost section of Manhattan are government employees,” the report explained. “Essentially, all of lower Manhattan is a free parking lot for government vehicles.” FBI officials told the committee that a thorough investigation failed to yield any suspects for 218 parking infractions. In 2007, D.C. meter maids wrote the Army, Navy and Air Force 158 parking tickets worth $27,840. (None of the recruiters challenged the DC citations due to their “demanding work schedule.”) The report noted that most meter maids ignore federal vehicles because they know there’s no point issuing a citation. “Federal law requires employees to pay parking tickets received on U.S. government vehicles, but… The DC Department of Public Works does not boot or tow government-tagged vehicles, ‘as a matter of long-standing policy.'”

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Yes, car dealers. Well, why not? If you think about it, the car dealers have a LOT of political pull. (Remember GM CEO RIck Wagoner’s letter to the dealers asking for their support for HIS $25b Department of Energy federal teat suckle?) So, now, “Auto dealers are calling on President Bush and Congress to take emergency measures to help revive vehicle retailing and contribute to the nation’s economic recovery,” Automotive News [sub] dutifully (not to say respectfully, although you could say that too) reports. The request came this week in a hand-delivered letter [from the National Automobile Dealers Association] to an economic adviser to the president at the White House.” And what goodies, you ask, were requested in this mammary-seeking missive? “Refundable tax credits for car and truck buyers and restoring the tax deductibility of vehicle loans.” Is that it? You must be joking mate. “Federal funds for state programs to take air-polluting clunkers off the roads and giving businesses additional tax breaks for vehicle purchases.” Air-polluting clunkers? Someone remind me again what decade we’re in. All done? Ha! NADA also wants the feds to “provide emergency loan guarantees to dealers through the Small Business Administration so that they have working capital.” OK, NOW are we done? Who knows? Automotive News forgot to include the text of the actual letter. Doh!

In just a week’s time, we will be celebrating the election of President-Elect Obama McCain Palin Charles Barkley. Barkley, a retired NBA star who recently announced that he’s running for to be governor of Alabama in 2014. Anyway, back to President Charles Barkley: the thing is, Charles Barkley is really angry at the mismanagement of the Big 3 (I made that up). So he wants to ride around in a presidential limo that’s not from one of them. What should President Charles Barkley’s limo be? You can assume he stands at a more average height than his real-life 6’4″, and any car currently in production in the world is fair game. My choice, by the way, would be either a Toyota Sequoia or a Hyundai Genesis.

Reuters reports that Republican presidential candidate John McCain is taking a cautious tack on a Michigan economist’s suggestion that Detroit should get an additional $15b in government support. “Let’s get the $25 billion to them to start with and see how that goes,” McCain told NBC’s Meet The Press. McCain had initially opposed that bailout before bowing to political pressure and blessing the deal. Top McCain economic adviser Douglas Holtz-Eakin echoed the Senator from Arizona’s position on CBS’s Face The Nation, saying “The top priority should be get (the $25b) out quickly, not take 18 months, which seems to be the current plan.” The Department of Energy is currently writing regulations governing the disbursment of that money, a process expected to take longer than GM and Chrysler can probably stay in business. Meanwhile, Barack Obama’s advisors refuse to rule out further auto industry suport. “The auto industry clearly is extremely important to the economy and now has enormous difficulties,” Obama advisor and former Treasury Secretary Robert Rubin said on Face the Nation. “We do need to face those difficulties and see if there are ways that public policy can be helpful that make sense … without having a whole raft of unintended consequences.”

GM’s overseas operations have long been touted as the only part of the General that is worth actual money. But might it make sense for GM to sell of profitable foreign operations? Though it’s doubtful that GM would ever voluntarily spin off, say, Buick and sell it to a Chinese firm, Charles Child has a column in Automotive News [sub] suggesting lawmakers should consider making such an asset sale a condition to further bailout cash. Child suggests that a sale of Buick to Shanghai Automotive Industry Corp (SAIC) makes lots of sense, cutting the number of US brands, and putting cash in the General’s pocket. How much? Based on Jag/Land Rover’s recent price tag of $2.3b, Child guesses Buick could be worth a billion to SAIC. Sure, The JagRover sale happened before credit markets took a dirt nap, but hell, GM could even use thre-quarters of that much cash right now. Plus the US market needs the Buick brand like it needs another run on the banks. Child’s analysis is thorough and compelling, and his thesis is well summarized in the final two sentences of his piece.”In today’s crisis, creative solutions are imperative. Nowadays, nothing is sacred in Detroit.” Truer words were never spoken.

Another day, another Cassandra-come-lately. Today we hear from Patrick Anderson, CEO of the Anderson Economic Group, who tells the Detroit News that the automotive market cannot support three Detroit car companies. “2008 marks the year when it became apparent to everyone that (providing products at a loss to maintain market share and keep plants at capacity) not possible. The days of zero-percent financing on a vehicle that was sold at a loss are over.” Anderson is unsurprisingly bearish on Chrysler, admitting that Auburn Hills is “not going to sit around and lose money for the next five years. They will consider auction and Chapter 11.” Of course, like so many of the grudging doomsayers recently emerging from the woodwork, Anderson somehow believes that an auction is preferable to a bankruptcy. “A merger of some type is likely to occur because the economics now are unsustainable for three Detroit automakers,” says Anderson, while admitting that “there is no scenario where GM and Chrysler avoid significant reductions in employment — none.” The real question is how close to the 70k expected losses will the final tally be. And whether a bail-and-merge would save any more of them than a bankruptcy. And how much that bail-and-merge might cost. And whether American Leyland will have any success. And on. And on.

“Was uns nicht umbringt, macht uns härter.” Martin Winterkorn’s may not have quoted Freddy in his speech at the International Zulieferer Börse (IZB), related to us via Automobilwoche [sub]. But the CEO of Volkswagen’s theme was clear. “Don’t panic!” Winterkorn said (in German). VW will emerge from the crisis “stronger than ever.” Winterkorn pointed to growth markets such as China– which did little to calm suppliers’ fears (unless they were Chinese). “In China, 100 million people have a driver’s license,” VW’s capo di tutti capi said. Correct. “Only 10 million have a private car,” he added. Wrong. As a matter of fact, nobody really knows how many private cars there are in China. Gasgoo.com once had two numbers in the same article:  “The total number of private cars in China jumps 32.5% to 15.22 million units by the end of 2007,” Gasgoo wrote.  A paragraph later.. “35.34 million are private cars, an increase of 20.8% from one year earlier.” It’s easy to get confused in China. But if VW, China’s largest auto manufacturer doesn’t know the market’s size, who does? OK, now you can panic. [NB: the IZB is an ingenious cost-cutting measure of VW Purchasing whereby parts suppliers meet in Volkswagen’s Autostadt— and pay for the privilege.]

We need not review the litany of bad news to remind you the Motown’s money’s too tight to mention. But amidst all of the plant closings, layoffs and rumors of bankruptcy, one song remains the same: management perks. The Detroit News reports that even as executives descend on DC begging for bailout billions, Ford, GM and Chrysler refuse to eliminate programs which subsidize car leases for management, often with insurance, maintenance and gasoline included. And this isn’t going over well with workers. “We’re taking concessions,” says UAW worker Jim Willington of Ford’s Woodhaven Stamping Plant. “They should level the playing field. They ought to be willing to buy the products. They can afford it.” A little perspective after the jump..

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