This is what I get for taking a moment to check in at GM-Volt.com. The angry young Volt-lovers are freaking out about the possibility of GM not surviving until the Volt’s launch date, and the prospect of losing their beloved fetish object has folks in a “pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship” kind of mood. The emotional fervor that these people feel towards this nonexistant vehicle is such that their suggestions make handing a blank check to Detroit look like a good idea. The “GM-Volt.com Viability Plan Suggestion,” was put forward by semi-retired NASA engineer Phil Toney, and man is it a doozy. The plan boils down to congress legislating that the entire government fleet (600k+ vehicles) be replaced with, you guessed it, Chevy Volts. But that’s not all…

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MINI has sent out the press release and photo pack for its new MINI convertible, and I have to say “eh.” It the same looks as the MINI hatchback, and the first generation new MINI convertible. The interior is still cartoonish, the back seat appears to be of about the same usefulness as the first gen convertible (which would be nearly none) and the trunk still has the funny fold-down tailgate. MINI says they’ve made incremental improvements (in addition to the new platform for the car, which is now the same as the hatch has had for the last two years). The roof also slides back to function as a moonroof without actually folding the whole top down, like on the last model, and now the roll hoops don’t stick out as much. Engines are the same as the MINI Cooper and Cooper S hatchback versions, so 118 or 172 ponies are your options. As for me, I’d rather have a Miata. Fortunately for MINI, loads of people won’t agree. I’d bet on a waiting list.

What the heck’s an Innova? While the Toyota website and Wikipedia give no hint to what the word actually means, I suspect it was supposed to evoke the feeling of being innovative, exciting, something new and vogue. Well, so was the Oldsmobile Achieva. And just like the Achieva, no amount of marketing and media shots of active couples rampaging around the country side will convince me the Toyota Innova is anything more than a marketing focus group’s bastard child. Then I found out that the platform and mechanical bits are donated from Toyota’s legendary Hilux pickup truck. Now we might be on to something.

As Farago wrote, the Caravan of Love broke down before it even left Motown. Supposedly, it went virtual, and took the information superhighway instead of routes 76 and 70 as even the most half-witted GPS would recommend. Jeez, they can’t even do what a 3 year old can do in 10 minutes: Build a website. TheEngineOfDemocracy.com displays the dreaded “Our site is currently under construction.” It promises:  “We will be back online Monday, December 1st as promised.” What do they mean with “back?” Where they ever on-line before?

And then, that logo: I bet, trademark lawyers in Wolfsburg are right this minute arguing with Volkswagen top management: “We recommend sending a cease and desist. They are diluting our Autostadt mark.” “It might not be politically expedient. They’ll say we hate them.”  “If you don’t send the letter, we may lose our mark.”  Anyway, the thing on the site looks terribly like Volkswagen’s Autostadt logo. The Autostadt logo looks back at a long line of German Heritage: It was purloined from Volkswagen’s New Beetle, which was inspired by the old VW Bug, which was ordered by old Adolf himself. But at least: It was all in the family. The Engine Of Democracy: In the ass, and cooled by hot air?

“The caravan bound from Detroit to Washington, D.C., to support federal bridge loans [a.k.a. bailout] for Detroit’s Big Three automakers will take the information superhighway instead of the interstate… Grand plans of an automotive cavalcade to the nation’s Capitol grew to the point of impossible once the idea was floated last week by a number of influential people in Detroit.” And so The Detroit News pronounces the T.O.D. for the Caravan of Love. “The outpouring of support was huge,” said Jason Vines, Compuware Corp.’s vice president, TTAC podcaster and former chief spokesman for Chrysler LLC. “We’ve changed this into a virtual march, in part because we didn’t want to become targets for environmental groups or others.” Whoa! Hold on there. First, GM CEO Rick Wagoner can’t drive to DC with his $25b bailout bowl because of “security concerns.” Now the Caravan of Love is bummed-out by possible bad vibes from whacko tree huggers? Talk about a bad trip! So… now what? The bridge builders are launching a site called TheEngineofDemocracy.com. “There, people can share their stories about how the auto industry impacts their lives.” Customers too?

How was your Thanksgiving? Get ready for turkey sandwiches, turkey soup and a dose of turkey news from all over the world. While America Slept (WAS) is a daily round-up of the news that happened in other continents and time-zones. TTAC provides round-the-clock coverage of everything that has wheels. And that has its wheels coming off. Soup to nuts, all the news that would be unfit to eat on an empty stomach.

Indian market blows up. The emerging Indian auto industry hasn’t quite emerged yet. Now, it’s getting it in the shins, big-time. After Toyota’s debt rating was cut, “Indian automobile stocks were lower tracking the fall in Asian peers,” the India Times has it. “Due to lower demand, automobile companies have been forced to shut down plants.” Now, shell-shocked investors take their money and go home. “The attacks in Mumbai could accelerate the trend,” the Nikkei (sub) writes, citing Mitsushige Akino of Ichiyoshi Investment who said: “Worldwide economic downturns have historically triggered wars and political instability.” Not what they call an investor-friendly environment. The Mumbai attack is already called “India’s 9/11.” Say ta-ta to Tata for a while. Internationals have advised expats to keep indoors, or better, get out.

Hyundai declares war on Nissan: Speaking of wars, “Hyundai has made its 2009 Accent the cheapest new car on sale in America by lopping $1,100 from its MSRP, so the numbers on the screen now read $9,970“ the LA Times reports. That’s a price-war to the tune of $20 less than the $9,990 Nissan Versa 1.6 – but every penny counts these days. Wars have erupted about less. Considerable fine print applies. Check with your dealer, or the LA Times for details.

Wagoner squeezes Forster, Forster squeezes Opel: GM Europe must wants to save $750m in labor costs at Opel. Forster sent a letter to all workers and announced less work, less pay. Opel’s union boss Klaus Franz signaled to Forster to insert letter in pipe and smoke it. Or choose other dark cavities.  According to Automobilwoche (sub,) Franz asked six questions from Forster, the most salient being “what are your plans to protect the European business from an insolvency of GM?” Franz doesn’t expect any answers. The cosmopolitical Franz even paraphrases Nancy Pelosi: “If you don’t show us the plans, we won’t show you the money.” Wait, it’s getting worse …

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Everything looks better sitting in the Ritz. So I’m in a magnanimous mood, surfing the web on TTAC readers’ behalf. Needless to say, I wandered into “Top Ten Things Autoblog is Thankful For.” Normally, I’d pour sarcastic sprinkles on AB’s vanilla prose, and then smother it in chastising chocolate. In fact, AB inspired me to write my own top ten higher power hat tips. And here they are, in descending order. Feel free to add yours. Or, just to tweak Stephan Wilkinson, not.

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According to Bloomberg, who has it from people supposedly familiar with the matter, GM “is studying whether to shed its Saturn, Saab and Pontiac brands in addition to Hummer.”

So assuming that they do:  Will they just dump the brands? As in throw them away? Or will they sell them? If the latter, who do you think will be the successful bidder?

Euro NCAP crashed 12 cars, and caused surprisingly little damage. Eight out of the 12 demolished vehicles received the coveted 5 star rating. Mercedes Viano and Ford Ka have four stars, the Dacia Sandero has three. The Ford Ranger limped out of the testing lab with only 2 stars: Bad boy! Results can be found here.

Next year, Euro NCAP will use a new, more stringent method. Cars without ESP won’t stand a chance to receive 5 stars. Seats will receive special attention. As a warning to manufacturers, Euro NCAP published results of its rear impact (whiplash) test which hadn’t been part of this year’s star ratings. It will be next year. Automakers better get off their duffs and start working on those seats now. Only 4 out of 25 received good marks. The rest are marginal or poor. Results here. Doing nothing will result in major demotions next year.

As gas is down, the behemoths roar back.

There’s a small rash of stories spreading through the media with a single common thread: everyone’s going to pull together to get GM through until the government picks up the tab. So, is it feel-good holiday rumormongering, or something more? Let’s take a look. The first story comes from Automotive News [sub], and it quotes GM purchasing boss Bo Anderson as saying suppliers aren’t demanding cash. And why would they? It’s not like things are tight right now. “Our suppliers are behind us,”Anderson tells AN, “We keep our terms of payments. They are contractual, something we negotiate with suppliers, and we think it is important to be a prompt payer. We are doing our best to hold the current terms.” Doth the gentelman protest too much? “It is very important to be very transparent and be open about the changes we see in the workplace with production schedules, product delay and any product changeovers,” says Anderson, while acknowledging that supplier CEOs face difficult conversations with their nervous directors, who worry about GM’s ability to pay as it suffers a liquidity squeeze and delays in getting financial aid from Congress. But anyone who has watched supplier after supplier go bankrupt over the past several years knows that suppliers have little choice in these matters. The UAW though? (Read More…)

The Washington Post notes a lesson in unintended consequences: a US government initiative to reduce gasoline consumption has been a miserable failure. The Energy Policy Act of 1992 (EPAct) mandated that government agencies purchase flex-fuel vehicles for 75 percent of light duty fleets, hoping to spur automakers into building more fuel efficient vehicles and decrease gasoline consumption.  And they were built: the Ford Taurus FFV 3.0 and Ranger pickup, GM compact pickups, Chrysler minivans, among many others.  For years, agencies ignored EPAct; enforcement came in 1999 after environmental groups Sierra Club and Bluewater Network sued to force compliance.  Problem was, replacement flex-fuel vehicles had larger engines in their predecessors and often ran on gasoline, usually due to difficulty obtaining E85.  For the 2008-2009 period, fully 61% of vehicles had exemptions to run on gasoline. The mandate resulted in flex-fuel vehicles purchased for Puerto Rico and Hawaii, where E85 pumps don’t exist as it’s quite expensive to ship large quantities of ethanol. In some locations, said pumps are nearby but don’t accept government credit cards.  So, despite all good intentions, the result is an increase in government gasoline consumption.  Not mentioned in the article was that the billions of dollars in purchases went almost, if not wholly to the Detroit 2.8, as import manufacturers (still) don’t offer many flex-fuel cars or trucks.

This is what passes for good news these days, so pass the turkey and keep smiling. Edmunds (via Dow Jones Newswires) estimates that the American new car market is down 28 percent in November, but up 1.9 percent from October. “Sales improved slightly over October thanks to near record high incentives and perhaps a sense of relief that the presidential election is over,” said Edmunds’ executive director of industry analysis, Jesse Toprak. Many analysts had forseen a bloodbath in November, after a disastrous October. In November’s 25 selling days, Chrysler LLC’s sales are seen dropping 42%, with Ford posting a 33% slide and GM reporting a 28% skid. And it’s not just Detroit firms losing ground. Toyota sales are expected to drop 24%, with Honda sales down 21% and Nissan sliding 29% on the month. Detroit’s market share is estimated to be 47% in November, down from 51% a year earlier and flat from October. These numbers could easily have been much, much worse given the record low consumer confidence. But is cheap gas helping, and if so, how long will it last? Stay tuned, as we get official numbers out at the end of the month.

Mercedes-Benz sold more diesel fired sedans than petrol in North America to the tune of 4 to 1. While the 300D turbo models put out a decent power curve, and proved the more popular car in power obsessed America, the 64bhp 240D models found their place as the “entry-level” Merc for the masses. Crank windows, M-B Tex interior, and even a passenger side mirror as an option, the 240D was built for mass transit Europa instead of plush luxury Americana. However, the requisite Merc-ness still pervaded the car from the real wood trim, to the solid thunk when closing the doors (that’s still there, 30 years later). In 1981, a Mercedes, no matter what price level was still a Mercedes, anything less would be unimaginable. (Read More…)

The other day, I told my mechanic I needed winter tires, and asked for a recommendation. “I’ll get you some Dunlops, they’re not bad, and cheaper than the Uniroyals you had last time.” When I asked him about rolling resistance and about tire wear, he looked at me like I was stupid, and repeated: “They’re pretty good tires”. So I looked at some car sites in the Internet, gave up after about five minutes, and ordered the Dunlops. Does buying tires have to be a “trust the guy in the greasy overall” event? The EU Commission (the executive branch of the European Union) says no, and intends to introduce new rules for labelling tires. The tire industry agrees that yes, change is probably necessary, with some qualifications, under certain conditions… (Read More…)