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The Stig.
“Calling Doctor Fine, Doctor Howard”, “I’m tryin’ to think but nuthin’s happenin!”
James May. He loves American cars.
I don’t know about Car Czar, but Larry Fein was born Larry Feinberg in 1902 on 2nd Street in Philadelphia.
Actually Moe would have made a good Car Czar. He handled the money for the Three Stooges and made sure it was invested for them so they wouldn’t spend it all. It would be nice to see him eye gouge Waggoner and hit him on the head with a blunt instrument a couple of times.
Hey, Jay Leno’s gig with the Tonight Show is almost up…
If we all want to drive cars like an Austin Princess, maybe Captain Slow would not be such a good idea.
Iacocca
HtownHeff, you beat me to it. At least Leno is a car guy.
The obvious choice would be Robert Farago.
What about Roger Penske…….seriously.
Here’s a hint:
“In 1930, the Republican-controlled House of Representatives, in an effort to alleviate the effects of the… Anyone? Anyone?… the Great Depression, passed the… Anyone? Anyone? The tariff bill? The Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act? Which, anyone? Raised or lowered?… Raised tariffs, in an effort to collect more revenue for the federal government. Did it work? Anyone? Anyone know the effects? It did not work, and the United States sank deeper into the Great Depression. Today we have a similar debate over this. Anyone know what this is? Class? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone seen this before? The Laffer Curve. Anyone know what this says? It says that at this point on the revenue curve, you will get exactly the same amount of revenue as at this point. This is very controversial. Does anyone know what Vice President Bush called this in 1980? Anyone? Something-d-o-o economics. ‘Voodoo’ economics.”
Lee Iacocca.
1. He knew how to testify before Congress on day one.
2. His company paid back a $1.5 billion loan with 12% interest early.
3. When he left Chrysler it was still profitable.
I believe even at his age he could handle a couple of weekly telecons and the occasional report to Washington. Of course, no one in Washington wants a plain spoken businessman. They want an ass-kissing bufoon to be Auto General Federalissimo.
The job description and requirements in detail leave only one person to chose from:
Stalin
He has some problem standing lately so it will not be easy to get him to sign any contract. He is currently dead.
But that could be managed. Hollywood might have to step in (as they have done so often for their political buddies) give a helping hand. They could certainly manage – currently they are dressing the Taliban to make them stage ready (wait a few weeks…)
Otherwise the second choice would be Kim Jong Il – but he has got some bad press lately.
As Lumumba & Kasabubu are gone the way of the crocodile dinner and Fidel slowly on the way to the last revolutions “uplift” – the ranks for such a position are spare…
hmm…
This would be a much tougher job that what Lee had last time. Age is not on his side.
Surely the automotive landscape is not so barren that there is no one younger who could pull this off. Alas, the industry has a way of taking talented people and turning them into corporate mush.
I cannot believe he has been thus far overlooked!!!!
RICK WAGONER of course. He will need something to do after he is ousted by Congress. People who call for his resignation get their way, people still back him get a consolation.
Everybody wins.
How about Warren Buffett? He seems to have a very good eye for how to invest wisely, which is precisely what’s needed right now (keep this, kill that, dispose of those).
I don’t really care who it is, but I’ll be curious as to their compensation package. It will probably be on the order of “here’s $250,000 for your 4 months of trouble” but I would love to see some sort of meaningful performance based incentives. Nothing like having some skin in the game to get you focused……….
Tex
(did I just use the phrase “meaningful performance based incentives” when talking about the U.S. auto industry? Nevermind.)
Then again, there’s always Kirk Kerkorian.
Fujio Cho
Hmmmm… on a serious note I wouldn’t mind having someone like Warren Buffet or Robert Rubin handle it.
But we have just a teensy little problem with the Car Czar position. It has no real authority with the way they’re describing it. To have this person function as a ‘mediator’ with the warring fiefdoms is like removing the teeth from a shark.
What really needs to happen is to have this position function as a de-facto bankruptcy judge and to uphold his decision with executive orders. The interests (more than notably the dealers) will try to fight this in the courts but you have a far better opportunity to win this type of case in federal court than the 50 state courts as they stand today.
I’d love to have a legal experts insight on this because my own knowledge base is far far away from that profession. I do know that the bailout, as it stands now, will not work.
sean362880
… Some say that he is a CIA experiment that went wrong, and that he only eats cheese. All new know is that he’s not The Stig – he’s The Stig’s fat American cousin …
Fujio Cho
Damn, beat me to it.
James Woods.
Mr. Jay Shoemaker. He’s already a CEO of a successfully tasty company, and he has good tastes in cars.
Second on Roger Penske – fabulous businessman, has helped the Detroit City downtown turnaround – if you were from around here you would know this was a monumental task), knows the automotive industry from a dealer perspective as well as a supplier and basically gets the job done.
Would definitely have no qualms putting arrogant, clueless a@@holes like Shelby in their place and is rich enough that he could care less who he rubs the wrong way to get this done.
The correct answer is, Roger Penske.
Likely Penske would not want to get involved in this move towards National Socialism.
Here’s a few:
Roger Penske, Roger Penske and of course last but not least, Roger Penske.
1) The Chief Bankruptcy Judge in Detroit
2) Roger Penske
3) Warren Buffett
4) Jay Leno (I’d love to see the Tank Car parked outside Congress)
5) James Glickenhouse (if only to see him drive the P4/5 or the Alfa 8C to Washington.
Since she claims to know how to butcher a carcass, I nominate Sarah Palin.
+1 on Iacocca despite his age. Unlike the career pols in Congress who want to teach the Detroit Three management how to succeed in the car business, Lee actually has a clue about how it should be done.
Brock Yates.
Richard Hammond….so only the Mustang, Corvette, Camaro, Challenger, and G8 are left standing in the end.
What, no mention of Warren Brown?
Damn, I like the Penske idea…better than my Iacocca suggestion!
He has done fabulous things in Detroit in near record time. If I recall correctly, he headed up the uber-successful Super Bowl, brought back the Belle Isle Grand Prix, among a host of other items.
On the other hand, I could see him saying hell no, I don’t want that mess. I see this as a setup for failure, no matter how awesome you are. He won’t sign up for something he can’t win.
Benjamin Graham
Mark Phelan from the Detroit Free Press.
OR, Rebecca Lindland from IHS Global Insight.
Both are self-centered types who proclaim knowledge of ALL things automtotive!
Sarcasm optional!
Otherwise:
1) V
2) Tyler Durden
3) The Joker (as played by Heath Ledger)
4) Ron Burgundy
Me
Bill Montgomery. And then he’ll make me secretary of keepin’ it real.
Anybody, as long as a HUGE federal bureaucracy is created that costs the taxpayer billions of tax dollars and gives the elite class even more jobs to dole out to those they consider worthy of those jobs that provide benefits and pensions far beyond what the vast majority vile commoners receive in their private-sector jobs.
Bob Lutz.
Jeremy Clarkson. he only likes Ford, so the only thing he needs to do is let nature take it’s course and he’ll never have to roadtest a Vectra again! To bad though, that particular roadtest was an all time classic (in the days of Top Gears old format).
I think I just found a reason to keep GM alive after all, but only if Top Gear returns to it’s old format of a more or less serious car program. You know, before the clowns took over the circus.
Calling Jack Welch!
Big companies in need of massive layoffs – this guy can do it. Really.
Shoot, wadoesitpayillgetmyresumeready!
No way on Lido Iouttachokeya.
IIRC much of the change in vehicles was underway when he showed up (Hal Sperlich behind the curtain?) and the gas crisis came at the right time. He got lucky. IMHO.
Regardless, he did not change the fundamental way things were done at Cryslur. They needed a new hull and engine. Lee got them bathroom caulk and an inner tube and left before the leaks started again.
Bad choice.
Penske might do-however his dealership ties might be a conflict.
Bunter
If this is a mostly ceremonial job, then Rabid Rick would be a great choice….it would finally get him out of GM.
Other than that, I stick with Penske
Lee Iaccoca.
Agree with the one who said Warren Buffet and Penske
Not from this industry… Bill Gates
Hey, Jay Leno’s gig with the Tonight Show is almost up…
He just signed a new deal for a prime-time NBC show. I guess he could still do it, but he’ll probably be busy.
I hear Rod Blagojevich may become available.
Back to reality, I think Bill Gates would be great but probably not interested and not enough of a politician. The czar has to juggle the Big square root of eight, UAW, suppliers, congress, the white house, and a host of legal issues PLUS have a halfway decent grasp of 21st century economics.
Whomever it is, I don’t envy her/him for a second. No matter what happens to the 2.8, it’s your fault.
Strippo,
The Democrats control congress, remember?
But if you want to talk Smoot-Hawley, noodle this:
“There is no universal agreement about the effect of the tariff. According to the U.S. Statistical Abstract, the effective tariff rate was 13.5% in 1929 and 19.8% in 1933 with 63% of all imports being duty-free. [Ok, so the rate increase a wopping 5% and almost 2/3 of imports were tarrif free] From 1821 through 1900 the United States averaged 29.7% effective tariff rates and peaked in 1830 at 57.3% with only 8% of all imports being duty-free, dwarfing the Smoot-Hawley rate. In addition, imports in 1929 were only 4.2% of the United States’ GNP and exports were only 5.0%.”
[Ok here’s the money shot – wait for it -] “Smoot-Hawley’s effect on the entire U.S. economy may have been small, compared to the monetary policy of the Federal Reserve System. By 1937 the effective tariff rate was reduced to 15.6% when the reaction of 1937-1938 occurred, demonstrating no statistical correlation between this economic downturn and tariff levels.”
Source Wikipedia
Hate to burst your bubble but the Depression was made worse by Roosevelt’s policies. Let’s see how the new congress and president adopts them for it’s own use.
Robert Farago, who else?!?
The Captain, aka Roger Penske. Next question.
i was going to suggest iaccoca with my tongue firmly in cheek – after all this is the twonk who suggests the executives of the failed three should be left in place – but some of you appear to think he’d be a legitimate choice. really?
Calling Jack Welch!
God, no. The last thing we need is Mister “My way or the highway/Six sigma/The process is king”. The disease of Welch-idolatry afflicts far, far too many companies already.
Big companies in need of massive layoffs – this guy can do it. Really.
Oh, wait, were you being facetious?
Hate to burst your bubble
You think I posted that Ferris Bueller shtick for educational purposes? Speaking of bursting bubbles…
I’d agree that Lee Iacocca wouldn’t be a good choice – I think he jumped the shark around the time the original minivans came out. The K-car based Chrysler Imperial and TC by Maserati are two reasons I wouldn’t want him in charge.
Fiat’s Sergio Marchionne did a decent job turning things around a couple years back, partly because he got the $2 billion bailout cash straight from GM’s coffers.
If you’re looking for a ruthless executioner, there’s always Delphi’s Steve Miller.
No wait. I’m changing my vote for Steve Miller. (He works at Delphi now, go figure…. anyway
It’s be awesome to have every new car come with a Steve Miller band Greatest Hits CD.
Teach those Gen X’ers what good music is. Take that Jonas Brothers!
…and for Assistant Czar – Ted Nugent. Hell, he already lives in Michigan, we don’t have to pay much for relocation allowance.
As much as I hate him and his megalomania, Captain Kirk should be the Car Czar. He’s a wannabe Warren Buffet, except he knows the car business quite well.
Ron Dennis of McLaren Racing. Very good businessman, technically astute, used to working under pressure.
And if he can deal with Formula One’s evil dwarf Bernie Ecclestone and Max “The Whip” Mosely, he can deal with any Washington politician.
At first blush, Warren Buffett might seem like a good fit, but disagree. His success to a large degree has been buying companies that have excellent managers already in place, half the time those managers were the previous owners (RC Willey, Pampered Chef, Nebraska Furn. Mart, etc.).
Buffett will also be the first to tell you that he doesn’t invest in businesses he doesn’t understand, oh, and he bought a Cadillac DTS last year, so you could safely assume he doesn’t know anything about the car biz. Warren also thinks capital-intensive industries like cars and airplanes are long-term losers for capital appreciation.
the stooge in the picture seems most appropriate.
“i’m tryin’ ta think, but nuthin’ happens”
1. Roger Penske
2. Jack Welch
3. Maria Sharapova….her Dad is tough as nails.
The last thing we need is Mister “My way or the highway/Six sigma/The process is king”. The disease of Welch-idolatry afflicts far, far too many companies already.
Not only that, but he’s also buddies with Nardelli. You can’t expect impartiality if Welch is in charge.
You don’t need a car expert for this, but a hardass who won’t put up with BS responses. Someone without connections to the auto industry would be better, as you don’t want someone who hurts his own book of business by making tough decisions that go against them.
Donald Trump
They can do “The Apprentice” and he can fire all the managers across several shows, thus boosting NBC’s sagging fortunes and restoring life to the Big 2.8.
Maybe we could have a trio. How about Penske, Trump and Ghosen?
Soitenly! Nyuk nyuk nyuk.
Lee Iacocca. Jack Welch would be a disaster.
Mitt Romney. This kind of role is tailor-made for him. Of course, he would never get the job.