Automotive News [sub] reports that the propeller people are pushing prices upwards, by an average of .7 percent. “The automaker said the move was driven by ongoing economical changes in the marketplace and ‘will ensure revenue generation for the company’s U.S. operations and help to protect the quality of business.'” Uh, how’s that again? (And what’s an “economical change” anyway?) “The rise comes despite the fact that the brand, like the rest of the industry, saw its U.S. new-vehicle sales slip by just over 12% to 231,053 units in the first 11 months of 2008 vs. a year ago.” So, in a declining market, BMW is raising its prices? In theory. In practice, not even the Germans can change the law of supply and demand to hoik prices on vehicles that aren’t selling.

Thanks to its enthusiastic participation in the sub-prime mortgage market and billions in low-interest, low-FICO score auto loans, GMAC was headed for bankruptcy. There was only one way out: convert to a bank and suckle on the federal teat labeled Trouble Asset Relief Program (TARP). Only… GMAC couldn’t convince enough of its investors to swap debt for equity to meet the Fed’s regs for the transformation. To forestall GMAC’s C11, and the domino destruction of General Motors, the Fed did what comes natural to our August federal institutions these days: they changed the rules. The Wall Street Journal reports that The Fed has granted GMAC bank status– despite its failure to meet the letter of the law. As the Fed’s statement clearly indicates, they’re making it up as they go along. “As part of the approval, the Fed is requiring GM and Cerberus Capital Management LP to reduce their ownership stakes in Detroit-based GMAC. GM must reduce its ownership interest in GMAC to less than 10% in voting shares and total equity. Cerberus, which owns Chrysler, must reduce its interest to a maximum of 14.9% in voting shares and 33% in total equity.” And that ain’t all…

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I’ve finally convinced one of our Delphi insiders to let us go public with the bankrupt parts maker’s layoff plans. I know it’s not exactly what you’d call Christmas cheer, but imagine how the affected workers feel. This is the presentation that Delphi’s HR department is detailing Delphi’s “Temporary Layoff” (a.k.a. TLO) policy. The nasty bit: after Delphi temporarily lays off a worker, they can cut their pay and change their job when they return, at will. “If you don’t show up to work on the designated date after your TLO, they also consider it a ‘voluntary quit’ (as opposed to what?). It appears that they are already getting a campuswide TLO ready for possibly the end of January for two weeks (including execs), and that we will have a two-week TLO pretty much every quarter until some unspecified time.” Bottom line: Delphi is still going down.

Apparently the Rasheen is a JDM car based on the Nissan Sentra. Those three letters are good enough for me, especially when we’re not talking about some crazy Integra but a weird Japanese car. This one is cube-shaped, RHD, has plaid seats, and a general air of goofiness. The owner says he has a Florida title, which only means he is the legal owner of a car that’s illegally in the United States. But is $6000 so much to pay for the privilege of having the only Nissan Rasheen in the country?

As some of you have no doubt read, my pal Jack Baruth is now dishing it out here at TTAC. And his Naughty and Nice Editorial got me thinking. Let’s close our eyes for a moment and pretend we’re four-years-old. Time to ask Santa for a present. Even if you’re a Jehovah’s Witness, Hindu, or like me (Jewish, but raised by a militant atheist father who would light a big fire every Chrstimas Eve to “keep the nonsense out”), it’s not going to hurt you to believe in Santa for 45 seconds. You’ve been good enough. Santa owes you. So, let’s hear it. What do you want and deserve? Me? Anything with massaging front seats (threw my back out bowling). So I’ll just go ahead and say an AMG S65. Hard to go wrong with 12 cylinders and two turbochargers. And like seriously, why not? You?

Ah, the good old days. When ‘Show me the money!” was the car business’ mantra and sub-prime loans were cooked-up in four font legalspeak and signed by anyone with a pulse. Not anymore. Dealers are dying en masse. Car values are going down the proverbial poop train. October saw average wholesale values descend a full six percent according to Manheim Consulting. November was another 5.7% chop. December? Well… let me just say that every dealership I see these days (open or closed) seems to have most of the same vehicles left on their lot. What can I say? It’s Christmas time and no one needs a car. Even a cheap one (except me of course). The auctions have about half the dealer traffic who are buying less than half as much. Even the mighty 800lb. gorillas of this business are falling fast. Carmax is a good example of the heartier dealer species. When I visit their weekly auctions in Atlanta I’m usually seeing half as many dealers attending their sales. The lower demand equates to far lower return on their trade-in’s, rejects,and repos. So much so that Carmax even cited it as one of the reasons why they posted a major loss this past quarter.

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Guys are funny: we lust for beautiful, fast cars with which we hope to impress the neighbors, the guys, and the other sex. But memories are not made of pistonheads’ wet dreams. Looking back, the memorable machines I had were more mutt than thoroughbred: the go-anywhere, never-let-you-down, unpretty, everyday companion. Like the pickup trucks you Americans love, or the iconic 2CV, Renault R4, and VW Beetles we Europeans have in our collective memories. The Fiat Panda has always been on my short list of potential cars-as-buddies: cheap, reliable, fun to drive, unpretentious. So, I was curious: is the 4×4 version of the Panda a faithful mutt, or just another automotive dog?

My parents had many ways to traumatize me during my childhood holidays. Perhaps the most effective: taking me downtown to donate a hundred bucks to the local Ronald McDonald House. Don’t get me wrong; the charity could well be the best (only?) reason to eat a Filet-O-Fish. But a hundred bucks? That kind of money could have bought two copies of “Star Raiders” for the Atari 800. As it turns out, I’m not the only spoiled brat to resent a bit of charity, as the following Christmas list proves. It’s straight from my top-secret sources at the North Pole: a complete recap of what the more fortunate manufacturers are asking Santa for this year. We’ll start with Toyota.

The BRIC countries, Brazil, Russia, India, China, long treated as pariahs, have lately advanced to savior of the world status. Whatever growth there is on the planet, it’s supposedly made of BRICs. Now, even the BRICs crumble. Latest case in point: A Ford factory near Russia’s St. Petersburg announced today that it had shut down its assembly lines. It will not re-open them until January 21, Russia’s news agency Novosti reports. Reasons? Don’t even ask. You know them already: “The ongoing global financial crisis and the necessity to reduce production due to the expected drop in car sales in the country next year.” That’s coming from Russia, where last summer unit sales were up by 41 percent.

The Ford plant was opened in the summer of 2002 to satisfy the demand. It employs some 2,200 workers, who’s jobs are temporarily pisdoj nakrytsja (gone.)  According to Russian labor law, the workers are entitled to two thirds of their wages during the closure.

The factory, which produces Ford Focus cars, previously announced it planned to produce 125,000 cars in 2009. Two items stand out:
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A short overview of what happened in other parts of the world while you were in bed. TTAC provides round-the-clock coverage of everything that has wheels. Or has its wheels coming off. For the next two weeks, WAS will be filed from Tokyo.

Bad November for Toyota: Toyota’s Japanese production dropped 27.2 percent in November from a year earlier to 288,138 vehicles as exports sagged 23.9 percent and domestic sales skidded 27.6 percent Overseas production fell 26.1 percent to 301,367 in the month. Other Japanese companies share in the misery, but not as much as ToMoCo: Honda down 3.9 percent in November. Mazda minus 19.8 percent. Suzuki shed 7.3 percent, writes the Nikkei (sub)

Itai-itai!: Nissan’s and Mitsubishi’s numbers came in by the end of the day in Tokyo, and they are nasty: Nissan’s domestic output shrank by 35.6 percent in November, their exports tanked by 30.2 percent, the Japanese domestic sales down 22.8 percent. Mitsubishi not much better: Output in Japan down 2.6 percent.  November exports minus 13.8 percent. Domestic (Japanese) sales evaporated to the tune of minus 31.1 percent. The Nikkei (sub) carries this moral-enhancing comment: “Some analysts warn that earnings could get worse further down the road, indicating more output drops may come.” Kota Yuzawa, analyst at Goldman Sachs, said: “We still cannot see an earnings bottom.”

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Oy, so many to choose from. There was that time just after high school where we drove from Los Angeles to San Francisco and then turned around and drove back. Probably drug related but who can remember that far back? Or there was the time we went from Seattle to Los Angeles (that same summer) in 22 hours. Maybe that doesn’t sound impressive, but the Chevy S10 couldn’t go much over 60 mph. Or there was the time we went from Sonoma County to Malibu in a 1961 Buick in 3 hours 45 minutes. Yes, that’s about 450 miles. And no, I have no clue how fast we were going because the speedo only went to 85 mph. But we did have to stop three times for gas. Pedal to metal, etc. Though, I’m thinking this Xmas might be my nuttiest drive. Because I’m flying back from Philly to LA, jumping in the WRX and driving straight through the night to Willows, CA for Arse-Freeze-Apalooza, the latest iteration of the 24 Hours of LeMons. That’s about nine hours of driving And if my calculations are correct, I get to start judging the cheatin’ bastids about 1 hour after I arrive. Joy. You?

Some 43 years after its Turin Show debut, Los Angeles based collectors have acquired the one-and-only 1965 Turin Salon Lamborghini Miura chassis, designed by chassis genius Gian Paolo Dallara, complete with Lambo’s first-ever transverse mid-mounted V12 engine (0293). It’s being “restored” now. Well, after Christmas.

In a broadcast to dealers, GM marketing maven Mark LaNeve has reassured Saturn store owners that The General has no plans to send the brand to the firing squad. In fact– no. That’s it. “General Motors’s US sales chief has played down speculation the automaker will axe Saturn,” just-auto [sub] reports, “hinting instead a new business model for the ‘no-haggle’ brand would be developed.” And that would be…? “We have a very successful consumer brand with Saturn,” LaNeve lied. “We need to find the right business model.” What’s the rush? After all, “GM is focused on clearing 2007 and 2008 model year vehicles from showrooms by the end of the year.” LaNeve reiterated that point several times, telling dealers GM would like to add more discounts on 2009 vehicles– but they’ve got to sell the remaining 2008 cars and trucks first. (Doh!) “We need to sell to generate cash. We will be aggressive [on incentives],” he added. “Please, sell like crazy.”

The U.S. new car market is officially dead in the water. Well, not officially officially. As the UK’s Guardian points out, December’s best selling days are its last. But the paper quotes Edmunds projection for the month’s sales, and it’s an unmitigated disaster. Edmunds expects December auto sales to crater to 9.8m units. “That would represent a further decline from 10.2 million units in November, which marked 26-year lows.” Sales analyst Jesse Toprak expects U.S. new vehicle sales to fall by more than 38 percent in December. More specifically, “Chrysler… is expected to lead the industry decline with a more than 45 percent plunge in December sales… while GM sales are seen down 39 percent and Ford sales down 34 percent. Toyota Motor Corp, Honda Motor Co and Nissan Motor Co are all expected to report declines of about 40 percent.” BarClays Capital analyst Brian Johnson predicts bad things for Detroit’s hometown hero. “We continue to see little equity value in the restructured GM. A greater decline in sales raises the possibility for additional funding needs.” Any guesses who pays that bill?