Sometimes a car is just a car: a large assemblage of metal, glass and plastic designed to provide mobility. But as the recent bailout hearings proved conclusively, sometimes a car can be so much more. A car can be a symbol of hope. A sign of change. Or a red herring. When GM CEO Rick Wagoner rolled up on the Capitol in his Cruze-bodied Volt mule, he expected it to erase the negativity that was spawned by Jet-gate only a few weeks earlier. And yet, somehow the symbolic power of the Volt arrival failed to inspire enough faith in GM’s future to secure a quick $34b. Perhaps Wagoner should have done more to amplify the message that a wholly unrecognizeable car (to congress and most Americans) was supposed to send. May we suggest that silver bullet of automotive communication, the bumper sticker? After all, nothing highlights the relationship between a one’s deeply-held values and their car’s brand image like a well placed bumper sticker. And so the question comes to you, oh Best and Brightest, if Wagoner could have slapped a single bumper sticker on his beltway beggarmobile, what should it have been? Answers can be existing bumper stickers or unique creations of your own twisted imagination. The winner will get $100 worth of Car Tattoos (your design or theirs) from Cartatts.com.
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I’M RICK WAGONER, BITCH!
GM: Cruzing for YES Volts from Congress.
(Yeah, I know I’m not eligible, but I couldn’t resist.)
“MY OTHER RIDE IS YOUR MY GULFSTREAM V”
Just thought of another one….
“SUBSIDIZE MY HOT AIR TO END GLOBAL WARMING”
“My other car is a Lexus LS 430.”
“My friends went to Congress, and all I got was this lousy bumper sticker.”
Dammit Carnot!! I was going to say something like that!
“My other ride is rated in gpm!”
lol
I brake for the American Middle Class.
” Quit honking – I’m begging as fast as I can.”
Honk! If you’ve been bailed out.
or
Honk! If you need bailing out.
” My village called – they want their idiot back”
(I’ll take Franks if that’s the winner and he’s ineligible)
save me (and GM) from myself
“Don’t blame me, I voted for Mondale”
(Yeah it’s as dated as GM’s products)
Vaporware Inside
“My other car is a LearJet”
“I brake for hallucenigens”
“Will settle for an Ambassadorship”
Ass, Grass, or Duracells – No One Rides for Free.
My other ride is a golden parachute.
Warning: Contents about to expire.
” Re-Volt America!”
Destroying shareholder value since 1992!
“Obama’s my Moma”
JUST SAY NOw!!!
” Driver Carries No Cash and Cannot Access Safe”
“I Love Gay Porn”
not me….the bumpersticker
“Bailout Baby On Board”
Calvin pissing on a Toyota logo
What, me worry?
Or
Not rice ready, or road ready.
Or
This car be funny looking like Prius, but made in USA, please do not vandalize.
Or
Ha! And you thought what I came in last time was expensive and unobtainable.
On a Detroit 3 car:
Your Tax Dollars At Work
On my car:
Chose A Honda, Paid For GM Anyway
Baby On Board
Global Warming is a Crock of Shit!
DON’T BLAME ME; I DIDN’T DESIGN ‘EM!
BAILOUTS HAPPEN.
BUY AMERICAN! (IF YOU CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT IS AMERICAN)
IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU ARE BETTER AT RUNNING AN AUTO COMPANY THAN I AM.
Or howabout a darwin fish eating a Chrysler logo
“Bailout or Bust!”
…failing that:
“Chapter 11 or Bust!”
Global Warming is a Crock of Shit!
+1. That one gets my vote.
WILL ROGERS NEVER MET RICK WAGONER.
If You Can Read This You’re Close Enough to Toss Me a Check
Global Warming is a Crock of Shit!
+1. That one gets my vote.
I actually want that one for MY truck.
Please give us a bailout! If I lose my $14 million pay check I will be stuck driving this crap Cruze/Volt forever and I CAN’T STAND IT ALREADY.
Picture this:
The omnipresent fish decal with the word “Volt” in it.
“I brake for pork”
“My other car is a Malivolt”
Or with a pic of Ben Kenobi – “These aren’t the CEOs you are looking for”
“My other car is a POS too”
jpcavanaugh :
“Baby On Board”
Brilliant simplicity.
I LOVE CONGRESS. THEIR PAY ISN’T BASED ON JOB PERFORMANCE EITHER.
Got another: The body of Yosemite Sam (holding his six guns) with the face of Ron Gettlefinger saying “BACK OFF!”
Got a million of em.
Joint the ride for free tax dollars.
What a reVOLTing development.
“My Child is Honer Student at Detroit Elementary School, and he could have have run this company way Freakin Better than i did…”
In case of Bankruptcy, this car will be unmanned.
Bye American Cars
Don’t Laugh, This Is YOUR Car
Chargin’ to Washington or Chagrin to Washington?
On the Volt specifically, “Got Juice?”
If there is a contest for bumper stickers that would NOT be on Wagoner’s car:
“Don’t Laugh, its Paid For.”
With my current $16M annual compensation – I made roughly $2,991.45 for this 14 hour road trip!
Don’t come knock’n if the Volt it rock’n.
or
DC or Bust. Bailout money or Bust.
or
If I’m not running GM I might end up running YOUR company, pay up.
or
SHOW ME THE MONEY!
“When I grow up I want to be a taxpayer tit sucker”
Or
“Hit Me…I Need the Money”
This is your new Volga comrad, nationalize me baby.
“MY OTHER RIDE IS A GOLDEN PARACHUTE”
“My other car is a… wait, what is it this week?”
or
“I know you’re honking out of love”
or
“CEO for life”
or
“It is what it is”
or
“I (heart) Congress”
Jesus loves Rick wagoner, everyone else thinks he’s an asshole.
GM: An American Devolution.
GM= Gross Mismanagement.
The Titanic was too big to fail too.
Would the last person leaving Detroit please turn out the lights.
I asked Congress for a bailout and all I got was this lousy bumpersticker.
Stein X Leikanger gets my vote.
Bad CEO, No Doughnut
I’d Rather Be Flying
America’s Raison d’être
and…
Bowling for Bailouts
Never spend faster then your CEO can beg.
And do all those examples on Cartatts look like Carl’s 2 Wicked? Just me?
“What the hell is a Pipefitter?”
“UAW – You too can be a janitor that makes $40 an hour”
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
“Rick Wagoner: Proof that Harvard MBAs are idiots”
“Buy American! If we don’t then who will?”
“Cars by GM. Good, Fast and Cheap (*pick two)”
Carpe Barney
Seize the Blank Check!
Li-ion Board
…while driving an Aztec to DC
Don’t laugh … your daughter is in the back
“Unlimited Almightyness”
“Would you buy a car from this man? (If you’re an American taxpayer, you’re about to anyway!)”
(While driving a 4×4 to DC)
Keep Laughing …I’m Reloading (my Gulfstream!)
GM-If we go bankrupt what will you rent?
or
If you won’t give me money, can I at least plug my car in?
or
If we go under, what will your voters not drive then?
Rick Wa-GONER
My vote:
truthbetold37 :
“UAW – You too can be a janitor that makes $40 an hour”
I’d rather you drive an SUV
or
Look, I said I am SORRY! *picture of Vega or what have you*
I see this Union bumper sticker around Detroit:
Out of a job yet? / Keep buying foreign
I always thought it was an awkward slogan. No, I am still employed; yes, I will buy foreign. Maybe something got lost in translation from Chineese…
Rick’s bumper sticker should have been:
Out of a domestic manufacturing base yet? / Keep bailout
GM ran out of cash to finish the second line.
“Work is for people who don’t know how become CEO’s”
“I <3 Your Money!!”
I think he’d need something more like the national debt clock with the number ticking up and the slogan …
“Give me $xxxxx, or all the workers get fired”.
I can bankrupt your country just like my company.
Ask me how!
Don’t steal–I hate competition.
Lutz loaner, I might need a jump or a tow.
or
You too can have one of these fine automobiles for $40,000 plus your taxes and children’s taxes.
or
Good God this is what our compacts drive like.
01.20.09
PAY YOUR TAXES
3 million jobs depend on it!
Ahh, I thought of another one…
ONE OF YOUR $BILLIONS$ A DAY KEEPS MY CREDITORS AT BAY!
Instead of Lee’s “buy a car, get a check”
It’s Rick’s “build a car, get a check”
“U.A.W. = U Ain’t Workin\'”
“Ford = Fund or realize destruction”
A graphic of the Democratic congressional leadership: Don’t Laugh. They’re Paid For.
How’s My Driving?
Call 1-800-BAILOUT
got bailout?
What would Barack do?
“Chrysler = 1 million transmission mechanics can’t be wrong!”
Usta Bee :
The Titanic was too big to fail too.
spot on UB.
Everyone says I’m in denial.
But REALLY, I’m not!
“Ford: Creating Thermal Incidents for over 100 years!”
Reality is nice,
but I wouldn’t want to live there.
I’m Rick Wagoner, and you’re not.
I made $100 million running GM into the ground, what have you accomplished?
or
How’s my driving, Please call 1-888-BAIL-YES
or
I need directions the navigation system shorted out and I think my batteries are on fire.
“Dear Lee, I found a better car and I bought it.”
Who says nothing is impossible?
I’ve done nothing my whole life.
Visualize Whirled Pieces
or
Visualize Real Sales
Have Lutz, will travel
“What do Ford and the Detroit Lions have in common? They are both owned by idiots.”
Another one:
W W J Drive?
or
WTF W J D?
I’m Spending Your Children’s Inheritance.
Put this on a Cobalt
“Audi like Interior”
Well that was Lutz’s target!
“My company employs millions of your constituents”
My Corporation is Smarter than Your Honors Student.
Daddy Needs a New Pair of Shoes.
GM: Imagination at Work.
“Ugly AND stupid is no way to go through life.”
I do have a son in college I have to pay for somehow.
I owe, I owe.. so it’s off to congress I go.
Change is inevitable, except from GM
NOBODY RIDES FOR FREE!!!!
2nd attempt. :OD!
“GM=Amtrak..begging for a handout”
“no one sweats the recalls like GM”