If it sounds too good to be true, it’s on the internet. While there may be some benefit to the services offered by parkingticket.com, imaking paying/fighting a New York City parking ticket easier (and charging a fee for it) is a far cry from saying that you’re going to pay people to stick it to The Man. Why in God’s name would anyone do that– unless they were told by their neighbor’s dog that traffic wardens are the anti-Christ? (And we all know how that turned out.) Needless to say, the press release making this bold claim is utterly silent on this issue, saying only that “‘The City has hired 793 new ticket agents but the public doesn’t have the time to fight every unfair ticket. Because we want them to fight every unfair ticket and to make sure it’s worth people’s time we are going to pay them,’ says Glen Bolofsky, President of parkingticket.com.” So, over to the website and on to the fine print. “Parkingticket.com agrees to guarantee that Customer’s parking ticket will be dismissed or reduced and Customer agrees to pay a fee to parkingticket.com, hereinafter known as the Guaranteed Dismissal Fee, equal to half the price of the savings, which is equal to the original parking ticket base fine plus any accrued penalties, fines, interest or related charges.” So I’m thinking that, in this case, “getting paid” means a discount on the standard fee. [Subject to more fine print after the jump.] Memo to Glen: plenty of people were born on a Tuesday, but the ones that were born last Tuesday aren’t old enough to get a New York City parking ticket. Yet. 

“Should Customer receive a Guilty Determination from the Appeals Board, only then, at that time, does parkingticket.com agree to refund the Guaranteed Dismissal Fee, as long as Customer forwards to parkingticket.com the following paperwork within thirty (30) days of the date of the Appeals Board determination: a copy of the parking ticket; a copy of the corresponding Vehicle Registration; the original signed (and notarized, if applicable) Dismissal Letter; the original signed (and notarized, if applicable) Appeal Letter; a copy of the first Guilty Hearing Determination; a copy of the second Guilty Hearing Determination; and any and all other attachments that were instructed to be attached in the original Dismissal Letter and “Instructions” page. Customer agrees to allow parkingticket.com up to ninety (90) days from Customer’s latest submission, to review and verify all work matter, prepared by parkingticket.com on behalf of customer, prior to approving or declining a refund. Customer understands and agrees that if Customer does not forward all work matter, prepared by parkingticket.com on behalf of customer, — as defined above — to parkingticket.com, via fax or mail, within thirty (30) days of the date of the Appeals Board determination, then parkingticket.com will be relieved in full of its promise to issue any refund. Please note that each refund request must be made individually and all paperwork must be received within the initial thirty (30) day period. Should Customer request that parkingticket.com customize or modify any work matter, prepared by parkingticket.com on behalf of customer, from the standard parkingticket.com paperwork, then Customer agrees that parkingticket.com shall be relieved in full of its guarantee provisions. A violation of any terms or conditions stated in the Terms & Conditions of the parkingticket.com website will release parkingticket.com from its guarantee refund fee provision.”