Automotive News [sub] reports that Fiat CEO Sergio Marchionne is angling for a special Italian-edition auto bailout, echoing a FIM-CISL union official who earlier argued that 60k Italian auto jobs are “at risk.” The playbook should sound familiar. “We expect help from the government for the entire car sector,” Marchionne said. “It’s not about helping Fiat but restarting an entire sector and the whole economy.” This coming from a firm which will likely take a 35 percent stake in Chrysler… if the US government comes through with enough bailout funds to make it worthwhile. Not that double-dipping is in any way unheard of, as bailout mania hits the global automakers. Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi has already met with EU Industry Commish Gunter Verheugen in Turin, Fiat’s hometown. Verheugen had earlier warned that not all European automakers may survive the current auto sector crisis.

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You gotta give those crazy corn-into-fuel kids credit: they don’t give up. Whereas you and I might think, well, if we can’t make a go of this thing with 50 cents a gallon blender’s credit and a federal mandate requiring someone somewhere (especially government-paid someones) to buy billions upon billions of gallons of the stuff, and the legislature of every state that even thinks about farming in our pocket, and the majority of the U.S. Congress and the President of the United States in our corner, then fuck it. Time to move on and get a real job. But no. Ethanol makers who’ve hit the so-called blending wall appear out ot prove themselves wrong (“no one ever died defending a corn field”). First, they’re opening stations with a choice of E10, E20, E30 or E85. it’s the first step on the way to legislating motorists to use E20 or above, obviously. Which will make them no friends amongst motorists whose cars are not so happy on anything ethanol-related. in fact, KOB4 reports that the Albuquerque Police Department’s new, E85-fueled Chevy Tahoes and Crown Victorias are experiencing fuel pump failures. Back to "regular" unleaded for now. Meanwhile and in any case, the ethanol boondoggle continues. [hat tip to HarveyBirdman]

AutoNation’s Mike Jackson at World Congress

And yes, we’re talking about the CEO of Autonation, not the one-glove guy. Jackson’s keynote adress to “fellow survivers of 2008” at the Automotive News [sub] World Congress was TTAC-ish enough to be dubbed a “truth-serum” speech by AN’s David Sedgwick. Accompanied by the Laurel and Hardy influenced powerpoint presentation above, Jackson breaks down the great downturn of 2008 with wit and insight. He blames captive lenders like the “General Motors Rejection Corp,” and states that for 95 percent of the market, the price of gas determines the kind of vehicle they want. Check out the changes in captive lender approvals and the $10k swing in Prius residuals over the last year for some compelling evidence that he’s right. Listen to the whole speech below for a concise overview of the year that turned an industry on its head.

My hypermiling techniques failed; my overall average dipped to 43mpg over the leg from Gallup, New Mexico into Las Vegas, Nevada. However, despite my overall drop in economy, fate conspired against me (I’m a victim of coicomstance! Nyaaaaaaaaa). Strong head winds, snow, traffic, fast food, blown tires and deer; they all conspired against my pursuit of incredible fuel economy. Despite today’s trials, the dirty Jetta TDI Eco-Racer caused quite a stir as it limped into the valet lane at the Bellagio Hotel, more likely due to the strangeness of a magnet laden Volkswagen rather than outright coolness.
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The current recession has done a fair job of turning the world upside down. Instead seeing tragedy repeated as farce, we get a mega-dose of farce with the tragedy hanging over it all. Exhibit A: FIAT is in talks to take a stake in Chrysler, for nothing. Never mind the lack of palpable “investment.” As Justin pointed out yesterday, this is the sort of development that would be laughed out of a producer’s office. Bringing in small cars from FIAT is somehow going to rescue Chrysler? How? Making money off of small cars is not impossible in North America, but it isn’t easy. More importantly, how are 150k cute little Italian job MINI’s going to prop up a company with a 1.5m vehicle market footprint?

Bernie is the man behind a Ponzi scheme that suckered “investors” from around the world, from all walks of life, to the tune of $50b. As is the way of such things, the media seems fascinated by relatively minor details. The fact that Madoff now shelters in a New York City penthouse– before he’s sent to The Big House– is only important on a symbolic level. Even if the digs were worth $50m (hardly likely in today’s market), that would be point one percent of the amount Bernie bilked. Now walk it down to his cars– which are leased. The autoblogosphere’s gossip girls are all a twitter (in some cases literally) at Bernie’s whips. Even The New York Times. “The vehicles include a 2007 Land Rover Range Rover, a 2008 Cadillac DTS, a 2009 Mercedes S550 leased last October, a 2007 Mercedes S550, a 2008 Mercedes GL450 sport-utility vehicle and a 2006 Lexus, according to the court filing in Manhattan on Wednesday.” The guy cleaning-up Bernie’s mess has asked federal bankruptcy court to cancel the leases. Big friggin’ deal. bernie could have bought GM with his ill-gotten gains. Which would have served him right, as far as I’m concerned.

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When it comes to cars, nothing is more expensive than an education. A bad owner. A neglected model with expensive problems. Or even a stupid owner with nothing but dreams in their head can easily turn a pearl into Chinese recycled swine. Case in point. I once had a well intentioned mom buy a 1998 Audi A4 from me. The good news? It had over $8000 worth of records over a period of 120,000 miles. The bad news? Re-read the last sentence and add arrogant 16-year-old kid and clueless Mom into the equation. I explained to them the high costs and maintenance involved, referred them to a very good repair shop, and even showed them the owner’s manual stating the next service due. As you already figured out, it didn’t matter.

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Yesterday’s announcement that the on-again, off-again, on-again Cadillac CTS Coupe was off-again provided yet more proof that GM’s product plans remain as they were before the company put its tail between its legs and headed to D.C. for bailout billions: chaos. Of course, the Caddy-related coupe-i-cide comes hard on the heels of GM Marketing Maven Mark LaNeve’s announcement that the automaker still hasn’t decided what to do with Pontiac. Or HUMMER. Or Saab. Not to mention Saturn. Now you can add Chevrolet to the list. The Motor Authority reports that the bloom is back on the on-again, off-again, on-again Chevrolet Orlando. “General Motors has confirmed that it will bring a production version of last year’s Chevrolet Orlando concept vehicle to the United States in 2011, reversing an earlier decision to only sell the vehicle overseas. The Orlando will likely be built at GM’s Hamtramck plant in Michigan, however there is still a chance that a cheaper imported version may be sourced from South Korea.” Some sites are focusing on the possibility of a plug-in Orlando. My question: now how much tax money would you pay?

With governments everywhere becoming investors in their native auto industries, the question of what exactly is a native auto industry is suddenly big news. Veteran Wall Street Journal writer Joseph White has taken up the question: What is an American Car? [sub]. The Journal has a fun “Where is this Car Made” quiz to test your knowledge. What could be more American than a Mexican built Escalade, Dodge Ram, Silverado or F150? Is an Ohio built Honda Accord Japanese? What to make of a Mexican built Ford Fusion with a Mazda based design? Is Canada the 51st state or not? Coherent people everywhere have noticed that “the Detroit companies wave the Stars and Stripes when they advertise their wares or look for loans in Washington, but when they talk to investors or the business press, they stress their aggressive efforts to promote ‘global sourcing,’a code for, ‘Buy More Parts from China and Mexico.'” Such Detroit double-speak has a long and ignominious history.

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CEOs usually don’t get paid for gloomy forecasts. It’s their job to instill at least a modicum of stockholders fantasy. If two of them paint a dark picture the same day, take note. Reality will surely be darker.

Speaking at a meeting held in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, Renault & Nissan Jefe Carlos Ghosn said that worldwide sales of all new cars will likely drop 14 percent to 55 million units this year, the Nikkei (sub) reports. The Nikkei: “His projection means that new-car sales, which slid 9 percent last year, will take an even steeper tumble in 2009. Ghosn also predicted that it will take at least seven years for global new-car sales to recover to their peak level of 69 million units, seen in 2007.” Ghosn expects that the current economic slump will drag on:
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TTAC commentator psarhjinian explains GM’s seemingly inexplicable decision to turn down a $3b bailout offer from the Canadian government. “A large part of that would be that, effectively, GM Canada is a dead company walking. St. Catharines Powertrain and Oshawa Truck are both scheduled to close, and with the Lacrosse going Epsilon and Camaro an only child, Oshawa Car isn’t far behind. That leaves CAMI in Ingersoll, which might not survive the new Equinox (it builds the Equinox, Torrent and XL-7—winners all, there) and Windsor Transmission (the old-school four-speeds). Good luck. GM asking for bailout bucks obliges them to maintain a manufacturing presence in Canada. Since, other than St. Catharines—which is scheduled to close—GM Canada makes nothing with a future, this isn’t going to happen. The fiasco of their getting millions of dollars just before announcing the closure of Oshawa Truck did not sit well with the Canadian public or it’s government and I suspect the Canadian bailout came with job guarantees attached that GM has no intention of honouring. They won’t tap the Canadian line until they’re absolutely desperate. On a related note…

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A great selection here.

“All of the North American factories will resume production at some point this quarter.” That’s the reassuring bit from GM’s spinmeister re: GM’s expected announcement that it’s trimming North American production. Again. Still. The bad news: GM will cut about 2k jobs at two plants and plans periodic shutdowns at about half of its 16 U.S. factories. The good news– at least for United Auto Workers members– “cut” does not mean “out of the street” by any stretch of the imagination. Now the cynical amongst you will join me in thinking that the “resume production at some point” sop is aimed at Congress and the freshly elected President, to convince theses bestowers of federal largess that the bailout bucks WILL support American manufacturing jobs. You know; as the $13.4b was supposed to do. I mean, it’s slightly embarrassing to ask for more money to protect jobs when no one’s actually working. So it’s best to suggest that production will resume you know, later. (Or as my RSA-raised wife likes to say “later soon.”) And if you think I’m guilty of hyperbole (perish the thought), here’s GM PR Chris Lee’s reasoning for the slow down/shut down [via Automotive News]: “Nobody was able to buy any cars,” he said, referring to the credit crunch that has deepened the U.S. recession while dragging vehicle sales to 26-year lows.” Yup. No question. That sucks.