Last October, I wrote a series of articles comparing economical family sedans from the Land of the Rising Sun. Numerous readers challenged me to perform a similar comparison of similar cars from American manufacturers. Define “American.” [ED: just step back from the can of worms and walk away.] This time ’round, I’ve tested the Ford Fusion S, Chevrolet Malibu LS, and Chrysler Sebring LX with automatic transmissions and common, entry level features. While I anguished to find positive or negative attributes that would distinguish one Japanese car from another, evaluating the relative virtue of the American’s was a slam dunk piece of cake. In distant third place: the Chrysler Sebring LX.

One of the things buzzing here at the Geneva Salon is Kia’s No. 3, which, although a concept, is close to what will be marketed in 2010. No. 3 is a mini-minivan built upon the Soul platform, but has an unminivan-strong stance, recognizable personality and some pretty nifty details, such as gold Barbie-leather seats. You could tell Peter Schreyer is proud of this first Kia that is 100% his own design. Pistonheads know Schreyer as the Kraut who was responsible for the first Audi TT and the Audi A2. No 3 is also notable for the new Kia corporate grille, which will intend to make Kias instantly recognizable to one and all. Even to the overtaxed motor-show eye, it works without being ostentatious in an Audi sort of way, so one looks forward to the Schreyer treatment on the upcoming mid-class Kia Magentis. All very nice, but what about the oddtastic name? As the PR lady explained to me, Kia will overhaul all its names around the idea of Number One for the smallest, Number Two for the second smallest . . . . “Gasp, you don’t really intend to call them that, do you?” “No, it’s just an idea”, she replied, “we might call them K1, K2, K3 etc, or something else—we’ll see”. Well, that’s a relief.

In Peter DeLorenzo’s last column, the self-styled AutoExtremist prescribed nichedom as an “elixir” for Pontiac. Reader reaction was so positive (apparently) that Sweet Pete has jumped off the deep end. People love the “excitement brand, whether it be for nostalgia reasons or because the attitude and spirit exemplified by Pontiac in its heyday.” In short, for nostalgia reasons. “But,” reckons DeLorenzo, “warm feelings of nostalgia won’t be enough to save Pontiac – or GM, for that matter.” Fast forward through some vintage bashing of “grim-reaping, hand-wringing, self-flagellating purveyors of doom in California and Washington,” and other “green-tinged” coastal elites, and what does DeLorenzo prescribe for the broken brand? Yup, “warm feelings of nostalgia.” Specifically, the return of the Firebird Trans-Am. The screaming chicken. Strap on the mullet, folks, this is going to get interesting.

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The Norcross, Georgia City Council voted Monday to end its relationship with LaserCraft Inc., a red light camera company whose US headquarters lie just three miles down the road from city hall. LaserCraft’s troubles began last year when the Georgia General Assembly enacted a law requiring a one second increase (over the minimum national standard) in the yellow signal warning time at any intersection equipped with a red light camera. City documents show that once the law took effect, the accident and red light violation problem in Norcross virtually disappeared.

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This morning’s Financial Times reports that the Kuwaiti-based investment fund that owns former Ford subsidiary and British exoticar manufacturer Aston Martin wants out. After two years at the helm, with the luxury car market disappearing down the worldwide financial rathole, they’re “considering” offering majority interest to whoever’s got the cash to buy it. “The investment group has received several expressions of interest in a stake in Aston Martin as a part of the company’s plans to restructure its debt, according to people close to the situation.” Yeah, I’m interested too; does that count? Sorry. Too negative. Right. Anyway, how’s this for vague?

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Personally, I crossed the Rude-i-con a long time ago. After some soul searching, I’ve made peace with the fact that telling the truth about cars means poking our collective nose into those dusty hidden corners that are NOT on the official tour. But it’s clear that some of the more recent members of our commentariat are not willing grasp the rake that mucks. They’ve expressed their displeasure at our editorial tone. As usual, I’ve deleted comments that flame the site, or threaten to yank the thread towards introspection, rather than the subject at hand. Also as always, I’ve given them my full attention and consideration. Given the increasing number of “you’re a bunch of nasty negative fucks” remarks, I’m opening this thread for debate re: TTAC’s tone. Yes, yes, we all know there’s plenty of poisonous grist for our editorial mill. Even so, should we ease up? Are we fair but mentally unbalanced? This week, TTAC may crest 1m unique views per month (the autoblogosphere’s SAAR) for the first time in its history. But we can always do better. As Mayor Koch used to say, “How am I doin’?”

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DATE:         March 3, 2009                         GM 09-03

TO:             All General Motors Dealers & Saturn Retailers

FROM:        Jim Bunnell, Executive Director, NA Vehicle Sales, Service & Marketing

SUBJECT:    Vehicle Buyback Policy

…This letter also communicates GM’s policies for the repurchase of light and medium duty new vehicle inventory (herein after motor vehicles) upon the termination of a GM Dealer or Saturn Retailer (herein after “Dealer”) when there is no replacement Dealer. GM’s repurchase obligations are outlined in Article 15 of the General Motors Dealer Sales & Service Agreement and Article 21 of the Saturn Retailer Agreement (herein after “Dealer Agreement”). This bulletin provides the specific definition of “current model year” as referenced in the Dealer Agreement and outlines specific procedures for vehicle repurchases under both Articles. This letter does not replace, modify or alter the terms of the Dealer Agreement, and implementation of these policies is subject to applicable law.

GM’s policies applicable to vehicle repurchases are provided below:

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Any larger German company that was in business during and/or did business with the Hitler regime must face history—at some point. Some companies, such as Volkswagen, owned-up early on that they had used slave labor. Some, such as BMW’s owners Quandt, denied it. American companies, such as Ford and Opel, are amongst those guilty by association. Finally, a fund was set up, which probably benefited the lawyers more than the 25k survivors.

Now, history is catching up with German car parts supplier Schaeffler. According to the Independent, “the giant but debt-crippled Schaeffler car parts supplier was accused of using hair shorn from at least 40,000 Auschwitz death camp prisoners to make textiles at its factories in Nazi-occupied Poland during the Second World War. The highly disturbing allegations were contained in new evidence unearthed by Polish historians at the Auschwitz museum, who said they had found rolls of fabric made from camp inmates’ hair at a former Schaeffler factory in Poland’s southern region of Silesia.” The company’s historian has dismissed the allegations.

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Moral relativism is inherently childish, as demonstrated by my eleven-year-old. “You don’t make Lola take her plate into the kitchen.” Any assertion that her sister’s age removes her from the obligation meets with a derisive snort. In fact, Sasha reckons she’s a victim of a cruel, capricious system. “It’s not fair!” she cries, storming off– until I threaten to yank her poker chip pay. Then, grudgingly, she does what needs doing. All of which reminds me of GM’s PR “narrative.” As their sales dip by half, they cry “Everyone’s sales numbers are a disaster! You can’t blame US for this mess.” And then they walk off and we clean up (i.e. pay for) their mess.

Also file under “what else do you say when sales drop 52.9 percent?” Automotive News [sub] sifted out a tasty nugget from GM’s latest sales conference call kabuki. “We’ve looked at Hyundai’s (Assurance) program extensively, and we’ve examined some possibilities of what we might do because certainly the consumer is anxious and worried about the future and whether or not they will retain their job,” was how GM’s Mark LaNeve put it. Interesting. But, continues the GM marketing chief, “we’re not crazy about the Hyundai program.”  Because it’s made of kimchee? No, “because all it does is protect your credit from being wrecked. You’ve still got to turn in your car. And when you lose your job, you still need a car to find another job.” GM’s answer: build the gimmick that fixes everything. Of course.

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Yes, Chrysler LLC total sales were down 44 percent compared to February of 2008, but you wouldn’t know right away from reading Chrysler’s press release. The corporate spinmeisters have gone down the “retail sales” rabbit hole, mentioning only retail numbers in the entire release. The implication, of course, is that Chrysler doesn’t want fleet sales. Or, as Jim Press subtly puts it, “we see our retail number as a shining light of positive news.” More likely though, the fleets are beginning to abandon its ChryCo staples on fears (and experiences) of residual value hell. Ignoring the babble, the overall sales picture is atrocious.

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If you’re looking for uplifting, feel-good news about the auto biz, this is about as good as it gets. Subaru sales edged up about 1 percent compared to February of last year, carried by a staggering 101 percent increase in Forester sales. Subaru sold 5,978 of the recently redesigned, Impreza-based utes last month. All other models were down month-on-month, with Tribeca (−58 percent) and Outback (−37 percent) faring worst. Hyundai sales were down compared to last February, but only by 1.5 percent, a hell of an accomplishment in this market. Genesis is chugging along with 1,263 leaving dealer lots in February, but bread-and-butter Sonata sales are at about half of 2008 levels. Elantra sales are up by over 2k units though. SUV sales are taking an wholly unsurprising beating, while the Entourage sold nearly 2,500 units. Kia (via PRNewswire) is up a whopping .4 percent, with Sedona, Sorento and Amanti all seeing increases over last February. First-ever Kia Soul sales hit only 34 as the newest Kia hits dealerships.

CAUTION! PROFANITY AHEAD! Automotive News [sub] reports that the National Automobile Dealers Association (NADA) is telling the world what it’s going to tell The Presidential Task Force on Automobiles on Friday: don’t blame US for this shit. It’s essentially the same message NADA gave Congress back when GM and Chrysler first proffered their $19.4B begging bowl: don’t fuck with us. Let the market decide how many goddamned dealers Detroit can afford (even though US tax money is propping-up their dead man walking metal makers). At the same time, NADA plans to ask the Task Force a simple question: where’s OUR goddamned bailout? “NADA leaders also plan to urge government policies that would ease credit for vehicle inventory financing at dealerships. A lack of floorplan financing and unreasonable terms by lenders are forcing dealerships to curtail orders from automakers and in some cases shut down, NADA contends.” You know, this has the makings of a pretty good operatic score, in both senses of the word . . .

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