The Freep’s Carol Cain has gone one better on the crazies who suggested that Steve Jobs should take over Detroit, nominating Oprah Winfrey to become Detroit’s cheerleader-in-chief. Noting calls from Senators for GM to declare bankruptcy and falling public support for the Detroit bailout, Cain suggests that desperate times call for desperate gimmicks. “I don’t know what kind of vehicle Oprah owns or if she even drives. I don’t know what she thinks about the auto industry or if she could be convinced to help. I know she likely wouldn’t be in this for the money, glory or stature,” writes Cain. But, “perhaps someone could appeal to her sense of patriotism in helping this industry that has been the bedrock of our nation for generations. Like many Americans, perhaps some family member worked in one of the auto factories. The industry still has dramatic impact on all 50 states and many livelihoods are impacted by it.” And hey, she has experience giving away cars!
But Cain’s suggestion has nothing to do with gaining insight from Winfrey’s business acumen or consumer insight. No, Cain imagines “the Big O could provide the right tune to help get the Motor City’s campaign on the right track.” Her pitch, in short, is that Detroit can’t find the right spin to make the Motown bailout palatable to average Americans and that somehow Oprah could. In reality though, Detroit is a whirling miasma that will simply suck Winfrey (and anyone else who gets too close) down with it. Just look what’s happened to poor old Pete DeLorenzo, whose latest rant showcases the kind of sad desperation that even Oprah couldn’t spit-shine.
Can you imagine Oprah getting up on a soapbox to echo DeLorenzo’s assertion that he’s “tired of the auto industry being treated like an old broken down piece of meat or something that should be taken out back and shot?” Or how about condemning “this ‘Green’ sickness that’s spreading due east from California like an out-of-control virus that there’s no known antidote for?” Or exorciating Nancy Pelosi and Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger as “quintessential manifestations of vapidity—leading the charge and insisting on projecting their relentless lack of common sense and glaring inability to differentiate facts from outright fiction as the environmental platform that this nation must adhere to going forward?” I sure can’t. Detroit needs Baghdad Bob, not Oprah Winfrey.
I don’t know, Oprah sure seems to have a lot of influence over that huge haus frau audience of hers. Maybe if she took over she’d be able to convince them to buy American cars. It could work!
Thanks for illustrating why I come to this site. Car news touched with a nice helping of sarcasm and skepticism. Seriously though, Oprah? I was thinking more like John Wayne’s reanimated corse. John Wayne pimping Detroit from the grave would be awesome. I might even by a car from Chrysler if they did that. The duke FTW!
One of my pet peeves is when people always say “Well the head of Google or Apple or (insert “hip” Silicon Valley company here) could design great cars!”
No, no they couldn’t. They don’t know anything about them.
Who started this retarded meme?
Oprah is the antichrist.
Didn’t she once give away a Pontiac to every member of her audience?
Maybe she would be a great Detroit cheerleader.
Of course, “give away” is the best way to rid oneself of an unwanted Pontiac.
Maybe Oprah was just clearing out the unsellable.
Oh… I dug deeper… GM donated 276 G6s to Oprah to give away on her show. Yep, it was an inventory clearance masquerading as “marketing expense.”
And, if I were Carol Cain, I’d have checked to see what it is that Oprah does drive before publishing this. Otherwise, I’ll bet she gets feedback about that in the comments to the article.
BDB wrote:
One of my pet peeves is when people always say “Well the head of Google or Apple or (insert “hip” Silicon Valley company here) could design great cars!” No, no they couldn’t. They don’t know anything about them.
You mean as good as Rick the Red Ink Wagoneer or Bob Putz could? Fer crying out loud, I could spec a better car for the times than they could. They are utterly out of touch with reality. Or perhaps you want to suggest that Bob Nardelli knew so much about cars? He almost destroyed Home Depot, collected $200+ million for that feat, and then took over Chrysler. Yeah, these are surely top picks. No CEO of successful Silicon Valley companies could possibly do as well.
Who started this retarded meme?
Probably people who saw what Detroit was producing, and at the same time saw the financial success of Google and Apple, and figured at least those CEOs had a clue that went beyond creative ways of how to steal shareholders money (and now taxpayers) in a form of obscene and undeserved bonuses.
Did you see on TV how the Chinese dealt with some of the captured pirates and their helpers? We need some of that here for a select group of “pirate CEOs”.
Is Lee Iacocca busy these days? He has previous experience rescuing sinking companies from bankruptcy, government bailouts, and hawking crappy cars…which inexplicably sell millions of copies, saving the company.
Seems like 1981 all over again, except on a larger scale.
“If you can find a better bailout, take it!”
hawking crappy cars
K-car with the 4-speed stick mated to the 2.2 engine was anything but crappy. It was exactly what was needed at the time. Simple, durable, economical, inexpensive, and roomy. Contrast that with the current pathetic offerings and idiotic short-run nostalgia trips. Yes, Chrysler could use Iacocca, but it’s probably too late.
Jeese, Lee Iacocca has had his time in the limelight, guys. He’s got to be 85 years young, by now!
Besides, his – um – thoughts about how to market cars are 50 years behind the times.
He’d want to put Corrrrrinthian leather and faux continental kits as well on vinyl tops on the Chrysler 300, guys…..
Seriously, he did a great job, but that was 30 years ago. Give the man a richly deserved rest. He’s done his part.
Besides, he could see this coming and was roundly criticized as a ‘traitor’ when he tried to stop Dumbler from taking over Chrysler.
Also, Iacocca was fond of those squared off roof lines foisted on the Chrysler Imperial, Dodge Dynasty, etc. in the late 1980’s. Imagine the 300C with that, too.
BDB :
March 16th, 2009 at 11:37 am
One of my pet peeves is when people always say “Well the head of Google or Apple or (insert “hip” Silicon Valley company here) could design great cars!”
No, no they couldn’t. They don’t know anything about them.
Who started this retarded meme?
I have no proof that Google or Apple CEO’s can design great cars.
But you don’t have any proof that they couldn’t. So, aren’t you just as retarded to dismiss their possible ability at that?
Judging by the way they run their own companies, they can do a much better job than Rick Wagoner. They are the Toyota/Honda of Internet and electronics companies.
Regardless of who we nominate, would anybody WANT that job? Hell Oprah should just put an American car on her “favorite things” list and that model would sell out in 35 minutes.
Jobs is a perfectionist, and would help any of the three if he chose to help them. Cars would look and feel good as Jobs does not put up with mediocre. Things would just work. Art & Design would be back in a big way – he doesn’t put up with crappy beige appliances which is what the average American sedan is – slab sided, predictable, boring, and unreliable.
However, it’s doubtful that the dealer shenanigans such as invoice – spiffs & incentives + magic voodoo pricing model would survive Jobs. He’s definitely a premium pricer with a fairly effective sales model that is rarely open to negotiation.
He drives a Mercedes the last time I heard anything about his car (which admittedly was a while ago). If he ever took this supposed position, that would be his benchmark, even for the lowest Aveo through to the top Caddy.
However, Jobs is seriously ill and is having six months off to get better. I doubt he would want to take on such a challenge even if offered to him.
I think if the automakers could just “borrow” some of Apple’s ideas – perfectionism, leading edge design, awesome reliability, ease of use and “it just works”, the “oooh” factor with so many little things, and great sales experience and ease of ownership (most Macs are on the Internet about 1 minute after unpacking them and come with no circusware and so are immediately productive), I think they’re onto a winner.
I’m sure there are folks who would be challenged by great design, but there’s Korean appliance makers for such people as they are not car people and should be ignored. Great design worked for BMW with Bangle’s awesome designs. The 2.8 need their “Bangle”.
But… I can’t see this crop of auto leaders doing it. The leadership is the reason they’re in the mess they’re in today, and they must go. Which is why C11 is so important. It’s the only way for the US car makers to come out of this and one day resume their positions on the totem pole.
Ford did a good thing by picking Mullaly to run the company when they did. GM should have done the same thing, pick an industry outsider that has a track record of success like Alan’s. The Cerebus fiasco choosing Nardelli was doomed. Nardelli may have had an impressive resume of GE and Home Depot but his style and tenure at these companies was not good. He also comes across as a figure head, whereas Alan does seem to be actively changing Ford. Alan might fail still, but at least he is trying. I don’t see any evidence of Bob Nardelli changing Cryco in the least.
These ships are listing hard to port and probably too far gone. Soon the ocean of C11 will overflow the decks and then it is too late.
At least two of the people in Oprah’s audience refused the car for tax reasons. Seems they knew what their 1040 was going to look like the next year and preferred not to deal with the hassle of disposing of the income.