As a recent family reunion proved, there are times when nothing less than a Lincoln Navigator L will do. In theory: I relied on inferior modes of transportation during my time of need, and the little voice in my head never stopped reminding me of that fact. What wouldn’t I do for a fully independent suspension with air ride, three rows of seating and a suitcase swallowing 42.6 cubic feet of cargo space behind the third row? Yes, this vehicle is everything that’s wrong with America. It’s the rolling embodiment of Wall Street greed and “easy credit” arrogance. But the guys getting bailout dollars and megabuck bonuses can afford a fleet of Navigators: I just want one, dammit!

You know those anti-meth ads, which graphically show the physiological effects of speed – lots of bad skin and rotten teeth? Well, this car is the automotive equivalent of the tweaker. I found it sitting forlorn among the garbage cans in a dirty alley, complete with lumpy, flaking yellow skin, bald tires revealing their cords, and exuding the smell of cold, stale tobacco. And desperately awaiting its next hit of crank. The Duster 340 is the speed freak incarnate.

Loose cannons. Where would TTAC be without them? Now that GM Car Czar Bob Lutz has his bankruptcy-proof pension to think about (no thanks needed for the early heads-up, Bob), the man of Maximum has somehow learned to shut the f up. Bob “Operationally Bankrupt” Nardelli hasn’t said boo to a goose since telling the feds he wasn’t earning any salary for driving Chrysler into the history books. Ford’s Presidente del Americas Mark Fields is flying low, maybe even commercial. The head of the Presidential Task Force on Autos, Steve “Chooch” Rattner, is as taciturn as he is tyrannical. These days, GM’s VP (“Very Profitable”) Mark LaNeve is about as good/bad as it gets. At least until last night, when former Ford CEO Bill Ford played BMOC (big man on campus) at the green love-in known as this year’s Fortune Brainstorm Green conference. The MSM has yet to chronicle the PC hoedown. But according to earth2tech.com (who supplied our headline quote), Former FoMoCo CEO Bill Ford’s mea culpa was mucho maxima.

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Are electric cars a dead end? Just as Ho Chi Minh said when asked about the French Revolution, it’s probably too early to tell. In the meantime, interesting things are happening. Der Spiegel reports that a European consortium of car makers and utilities has agreed on a standard for plugs. That means you’ll soon be able to drive from Lappland to Sicily, or from Lisbon to Moscow (albeit in 50-mile spurts), without worrying about compatibility. The plug will be in a three-phase, 400V configuration. But what about loading stations connected to the plugs? The news here: a consortium including Volkswagen, Daimler, BMW, Ford, General Motors, PSA, Fiat, Toyota, Mitsubishi as well as major western-European utilities are working on a standard electric “filling station.” So much for infrastructure. But what about the cars?

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Earlier this week, one of our Best and Brightest wondered how Chrysler and GM’s collapse into receivership would affect minority dealers. He wondered if political correctness would color the Presidential Task Force on Automobiles decisions about which dealers get the axe and which don’t. Ford is proactively addressing the issue by launching a new program that allows roughly a quarter of its minority-owned dealers to buy their store from Ford for a $1. For some reason, the Detroit Free Press fails to mention the amount of money Ford has invested in these dealers. Anyway, in a letter to the 64 eligible minority dealerships (out of 255 Ford Motor Minority Dealers Association members), FoMoCo says the “I’ll buy that for a dollar!” deal’s only good “if you are able to provide adequate operating capital at the time of the buy-out.” Good luck with that. On the other hand, the offer expires September 30. A LOT’s going to happen between now and then: cash for clunkers, GM’s C11, Chrysler’s dissolution, etc. A smart man might have a weapon under there. If he did I’d have to pin his head to the panel. I mean, a smart man would wait to see how this plays out before signing anything.

dperaza writes:

I need your opinion and that of the B&B. I need to change my current vehicle (1997 Honda Civic 2dr) for a car with room for 2 car seats because starting in August I will be taking the twins to daycare in the mornings before heading to work. We have a minivan as the “main vehicle” for long trips, going out with family, grocery shopping, etc. So I do not need or want another minivan nor an SUV. Taking into consideration all variables (price, fuel efficiency, resale value, reliability, maintenance, safety and performance) a 2009 Civic Si Sedan seems like a good all around car for what I need but somehow I keep thinking it comes up short in the performance dept. Second choice is the Mazdaspeed 3 but I am afraid of its long term reliability, resale value, integrity and maintenance costs. Third choice is the 2009 WRX but they seem to be having problems with rod bearings and quality seems down.

What other cars around this price would you consider that can offer similar attributes to these three? What about pricier cars, around $28K?
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Back at the beginning of March, GM and its camp supporters were touting the fact that they could go all the way ’til April without a fresh infusion of federal funds—sorry, “loans.” See? Things aren’t as bad as they seem, GM CEO Fritz Henderson pronounced. Cuts are paying dividends already! Deeper, faster, oh baby! Yes, well, as we said at the time, bullshit. The actual reason for GM’s small push away from the bailout buffet: GM’s outgoing CEO had sucked a cool half a billion dollars from The General’s Canadian subsidiary. And now it turns out that current CEO Fritz Henderson’s prediction that GM would need “between $2 and $4 billion” to get it to June 1 misled taxpayers by a billion dollars. “General Motors Corp. will get up to $5 billion and Chrysler LLC $500 million in short-term aid, according to a 250-page government report obtained Monday by The Detroit News.

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The Washington Post reports that Chrysler Financial turned down $750 million worth of federal loans to avoid executive pay limits. Surprised? Me neither. And that’s not a whole lot of money in the grand scheme of things ($1.5 billion already “loaned” to Chrysler Financial, $6 billion for GMAC, $7 billion for Chrysler, $17.4 billion for GM, $5.5 billion for suppliers). Anyway, the WaPo sure has its dander up. “In forgoing the loan, Chrysler Financial opted to use more expensive financing from private banks, adding to the burdens of the already fragile automaker and its financing company . . . The company’s decision comes amid a firestorm on Capitol Hill and elsewhere over the lavish pay of executives at companies being aided by government money. The uproar has made companies skittish about taking federal aid and hindered the Obama administration’s effort to revive lending by replenishing the coffers of the nation’s financial firms.” Ah. OK. So, NOT accepting federal support is bad. Welcome to Bailout Nation. And its media dupes, like Autoblog, who called ChryCo execs’ explanation (after the jump) “disingenuous.” Folks, the LESS taxpayer-funding in the US auto industry, the better. Period.

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KTAR.com reports that Phoenix, Arizona, police have arrested a suspect in the fatal shooting of a civilian photo radar operator. According to the Arizona Department of Public Safety (DPS), witnesses called police to Phoenix Arizona’s Loop 101 and Seventh Avenue at approximately 9 pm last night. They found operator Doug Georgianni, 51, dead from multiple gun wounds. The victim worked for Australia’s RedFlex Traffic Systems Inc., which operates photo radar vehicles for the AZ DPS. Police viewed the tape made by the radar van immediately after the shooting, and traced a gray and white Chevy suburban with a roof rack carrying a spare tire to a suburban driveway. They arrested its owner, 68-year-old Tom De Stories. Redflex pulled its 40 radar vehicles on state highways out of service until further notice.

Everyone asks me when is the best time to buy. Well . . .  this may truly be it. The whoredom that is our federal government has decided to put a magna cum “clunker bill” on the front burner. If you’re fortunate enough to have a vehicle that is 2001 or older, you have a clunker. At least according to the wise and impartial souls promoting this legislation. Although the original offer was $10K smooth per vehicle only a few months ago, the amount has now gone down to $5K and a little cash for the “un-American” manufacturers as well. Will it go down? Well, I don’t know. But this is how I would play it.

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Daimler’s Zetsche won’t have to worry explaining the T&E for his trip to the Shanghai Motor Show. He might come back with a big chunk of Chinese money. According to the German Handelsblatt, “Daimler is negotiating with the Chinese sovereign wealth fund about selling shares and doesn’t rule out a Chinese engagement in Stuttgart.” Zetsche put on his best poker face: “We have had talks in the past  with possible investors in China, and the talks are still on-going.” Looks like there is more to it: On Tuesday, Zetsche will travel to Beijing to meet with representatives of the Chinese government. Asked whether he would also meet representatives of the Chinese government fund CIC, Zetsche gave a definitive “no comment.” If they buy, China will be in good company:

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A few weeks of vacation from the blogosphere’s non-stop news cycle can leave a blogger feeling a bit behind the times. Two weeks is an eternity in internet time, but stepping away from the barrage of news, spin, hype and hysteria is good for the sense of perspective. Especially if the down time is spent exploring countries on the local typical family vehicle, complete with two wheels, four speeds and about 100ccs of thundering power. Beyond the sheer novelty of seeing entire families commuting on a moped (“Daddy, Nguyen isn’t staying on his side of the pillion seat”), travel in the developing world shows how insulated America is from the transportation realities of the rest of the world. If the $1,000 entry to the world of moped ownership is a major (if attainable) hurdle for workaday Vietnamese, even sub-$10k vehicles face what a GM sales release might call “a challenging sales environment.” Try to explain the “green premium” for hybrids and plug-in vehicles to an auto-aspirational third-worlder, and watch as the idea of paying more for less room and power draws only puzzled bemusement. Hair shirts, it appears, are strictly a fad for the western and wealthy. Case in point: the world’s first plug-in hybrid, the Chinese BYD F3DM.

Props to automotive consultant Maryann Keller for calling for GM to get its shit together, I mean “create a sense of urgency” since 1875, or thereabouts. Kudos for Keller’s willingness to predict a GM C11 early and often. And praise be for loaning TTAC the writing talents of Mr. Ken Elias. OK, so. . . Keller’s column in Automotive News [sub] is suffused with Annie-like optimism for a post-C11 GM. With one a catch. Chevillac’s success depends on the “smaller, leaner and cost-competitive company‘s” ability to secure a champion who can administer strong medicine to GM’s poisonous corporate culture. Before we deal with Ms. Keller’s “if you build it, he will come” theory, here’s a taste of her sunwillcomeouttomorrowism:

Got $652m in loose cash sitting around? Boy, does GM have a deal for you! If you are willing to invest that money into Opel/Vauxhall, then The General “is prepared to part with a controlling stake in Opel/Vauxhall for nothing,” Financial Times reports. It gets better . . .

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