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Ugly little Aston Martin with a Chrysler 300 grill?
It’s fugly, that’s what. Like a luxusry cross-over made by koreans and drunken Chrysler-employees. But I guess Spyker needs some competition in that small niche of about twenty vehicles a year.
Maybe if a 20-ton press hadn’t been used on it…never mind, it would still be ugly.
It’s based on the GL platform, that’s wrong!
What’s Right About This Picture?
Another pointless ugly CUV/SUV. And did I say it was ugly?
Say what you want, but at least Ford never thought of making Aston Martin truck (they had Ford, ‘re-badged Ford’ (aka Mercury), ‘fancy re-badged Ford’ (aka Lincoln) and ‘very fancy Ford’ (aka Land Rover/Range Rover) for it. Now new owners just trying to hop on the same wagon as Porsche did with Cayenne (also ugly, especially compared to its cousins Touareg and Q7).
When will the madness stop? When?
I lost all respect for Porsche when they launched the Cayenne. Porsche is about fast sports cars. Two seaters. Low, small, fiesty. I similarly grumbled when I saw the BMW SUVs, but not as much. Now Aston Martin too? Why, oh why, auto-gods, are ye so cruel? Is there no one left who knows the meaning of “brand equity”? Is James Bond gonna drive one in the next movie? Like him driving BMWs wasn’t bad enough?
What’s next? A Jaguar SUV? Hell why not a MINI CUV? It could be a new class of vehicle (read: something that existed already but with a new fancy name), a compact CUV. A super-duper-mini. The A class on steroids (read: pimped up small Euro delivery van).
Oh, and this thing looks like a Nissan whatever. And also like something else I’ve already seen but don’t care to remember the name of.
The MINI CUV is comingthis year IIRC – so yes it will be inflicted on us.
@hazard: Hell why not a MINI CUV?
Uh… Auto Express: MINI Crossman is Coming
The Malibu Maxx called. It wants its butt back.
My that’s horrible.
There is an Aston Martin Lagonda V600 Shooting Break in the Luzern Transport museum. Number plate LU1. It is a 600+HP estate car and claims to be the fastest estate car on the planet. It looks awesome…
It was a one off, but they would do waaaaaay better doing a version of that to satisfy the country types I would have thought….
http://membres.lycos.fr/netauto/Marques/Aston%20Martin/Virage-shooting-brake.jpg
Surely they can’t be serious.
@OrkneyDullard, Kristjan Ambroz:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What’s wrong with this is its taken this long for a real Range Rover competitor to emerge (am I wrong about this?). The Range enjoys an image that’s a noticeable step above that of BMW, Merc and Audi SUVs (regardless of their actual performance and luxury). It’ll cost more than the Range sport for sure, but it’s proven that there’s a market for 6 figure super luxury SUVs.
As much as I’m totally uninterested in the segment (and nowhere near moneyed enough) I’d prefer a Range to a Bentley sedan or even a Rolls (provided my left leg was amputated, I got rich and then needed a cruiser). If this thing comes with a stick option and an Aston interior it would be an obvious choice.
One day a Chrysler 300 and a Grand Cherokee fell in love… They had daughter who grew up and started hanging with wrong crowd. She got knocked up by a Scion Xb…
The family then forced her to put the ugly child up for adoption. Fortunately, a wealthy British car company adopted it and took the ugly unloved child as their own. The End.
These are the Days of our Engines…
And the Oscar for best screenplay goes to… Mr. Sparky!
The Brian Cox slackjaw edition.
Hold on, my monitor is malfunctioning. It looks all squat and squished.
That’s one hungry car.
Obligatory “Car X looks like Car Y + Car Z comment: Oh my, what a large Mitsubishi Lancer Sportback you have!
Aston can do better. Aston has done better. What in the name of everything holy are they smoking? When your rep is, largely, based on having cars that aren’t the most capable, luxurious or reliable, so have to fall back on your looks. BMW can get away with the X6 because, well, most of their cars are at least a little funny looking and the 3-Series gives them a free pass. Aston can’t do that.
What’s next, a Maserati minivan?
Mr. Sparky:
The family then forced her to put the ugly child up for adoption. Fortunately, a wealthy British car company adopted it and took the ugly unloved child as their own.
It was kind of you not to mention that her unhappiness led her into an eating problem that made her morbidly obese….
I was just beginning to wonder when the Pacifica refresh was coming…
Remember the science fiction movie where the protagonist gets his dna mixed up with a fly’s, bringing both parties to unfortunate and untimely ends?
This is an Audi by way of Aston by way of Toyota with a little Buick thrown in for good measure. Ugh!
Obviously some kind of twisted homage.
The lines aren’t so bad, it’s just that the grille ruins everything. You literally can’t take your eyes off that gaping maw. It looks like the doomsday machine from star trek.
I don’t know…. I dont’ like the lines either.
Cover the front half of the picture with your hand so that you can only see the car behind the door line.
Now move your hand. It appears that the tail was designed by a different team and just tacked on the rest of the car….. they seem a different scale and it’s not just foreshortening caused by the angle of the photo
It makes the Dodge Magnum look attractive.
It just looks…wrong
(Plus the outline of the main grill looks Ford-ish)
This abomination is everything that is wrong with today’s styling trends combined in one convenient package. As such, it will make writing about cars ever so much easier, as the writer will only need to remember one car with which to compare the car being reviewed. For example:
“The bass-mouth of a front grille is reminiscent of the Aston Martin CUV…”
“The numerous non-functioning scoops and inlets are reminiscent of the Aston Martin CUV…”
“The exagerated flare siding is reminiscent of the Aston Martin CUV…”
“The blind spot created by the enormous C-pillar is reminiscent of the Aston Martin CUV…”
I think I’ve made my point.
Dude, those headlights are jacked from the 5-series.
There was a heavy-duty Ford truck some years ago that had a grille like that.
It takes a lot of effort to make ugly so strong… They must’ve been up all night trying.
All I can think of since I saw it is: Whale Shark.
http://www.travelyucatan.com/whale_shark_holbox/whale_shark_food_habits.jpg
It seems the low roof, long hood, seating position, and A-pillars combine to make visibility horrific. It better come with both rear and front cameras for parking lot use.
That front end is all Audi, All it needs is LEDs
Chrysler 300 + Dodge Caliber =
Surely you jest.
Take a Caliber, Compass, 300, Land Rover, Charger, an Aston Martin and the Volt add some butter and blend untill smooth.
007’s not driving it.
Another grille designed to strike fear into Honda Fit drivers — see how they chopped the top of the car so they could make the gaping hole even bigger? Genius, I tell you.
I’m starting to see a pattern here – is there a glass shortage?
The illegitimate offspring of a Chrysler 300 and a Scion Xb. Hopefully, it is sterile.