Despite constant evolution, the BMW Z4 has always been something of an enigma. Quality issues, cabin constraints, questionable styling, not-quite-there handling, dubious tire choices and premium pricing have all bedeviled the sports car—although not all at the same time. Far be it for me to suggest that this lack of synthesis had anything to do with production in South Carolina. But it is strange—and a little reassuring—to know that this next gen Z4 is made in Regensburg, Germany. Less comforting to those of a sporting bent: it’s grown in width, length, wheelbase and weight. Once again, Mazda Miata lovers looking to upgrade need not apply.

Today, the supervisory board of Porsche has a sit-down in their super-secret R&D center in Weissach near Stuttgart. On the agenda: “How do we get out of this mess?” The meeting might not be very constructive. The board is heavy with members of both sides of the feuding Porsche and Piech clan. Ferdinand Piech himself will be there, along with Uwe Hück, head of the Porsche workers council. Last week, the former professional Thai boxer Hück had threatened he would report Piech to the authorities, on grounds of yet to be specified violations of securities laws. Only fools make idle threats to Piech.

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Folsom, CA (Yuppie-burb of Sacramento) is in my neck of the woods. I was browsing the online car ads of my local struggling newspaper, the Sacramento Bee, and was struck by the number of trucks for sale.

“We’ve got more trucks than ever before . . . ” Yes, over 1,000 is quite a lot. (Get it?)

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Automotive News [sub] reports that Chrysler’s national dealer council has filed a motion in U.S. Bankruptcy Court to “save” the 789 ChryCo dealerships slated for termination. The council’s asking federal judge Arthur “Fast Track” Gonzalez to stay Chrysler’s dealercide in the name of Joe Q. Public. “Fewer dealers will mean less inventory available to the public,” the document maintains, placing Chrysler products on the same level as, say, foodstuffs. “Lower inventory reduces the chances that a customer will find the car they are looking for and therefore hurts sales.” A federal ruling to protect consumer choice in an industry with 40 percent plus overcapacity and enough excess inventory to choke an entire industrialized country? That’s just silly. Arty is scheduled to hear objections to Chrysler’s request on June 4, five days before the axe falls for good (or, in this case, “bad”). Never mind. Here’s where the REAL battle lines are forming . . .

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His cell phone line was dead. A disconnected phone is always the first sign that one my automotive “investments” has gone south. Number two: timing. His payment was due that afternoon. By 2:00 PM I was at the house. My car wasn’t there. Common scents told me his associate, DJ Jazzy Dumbfuck, was inside getting high. Angry rap songs blasted from inside. Knocked on the door . . . doorbell . . . knock . . . doorbell . . .

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In the late 70s, after Volkswagen had launched their new worldwide dealer network under the mysterious V.A.G. moniker. The V.A.G. dealers received a strong voice, their own national advertising campaign and a renewed focus on the importance of service. No wonder. Then as now, after-sales is the VW dealer’s number one profit center. The profit contribution of parts was often 30 percent or more. In 1979, for the first time, VW invited the service guys to the IAA auto show in Frankfurt. The suits asked me to come up with a spectacular concept for their debut. My first idea: fix cars live, Formula 1 pitstop style. Everybody liked it—until someone found out that the maximum height of the booth was 2.5 meters, way below the heights of the lift. Scratch that idea. Then I had an odd thought: Why not do it virtually?

“Dear thetruthaboutcars.com, I am asking your advice on what type of car would suit me best. I am a high school student who is the not-so-proud owner of a 1997 Pontiac Sunfire. I recently took a ride in my neighbor’s Acura RSX and was impressed with the overall quality of the car, especially the interior and the car’s performance in general. It looked like my neighbor had so much fun, flawlessly shifting through the gears. I was amazed at how superior this car was to my low-quality Sunfire. I came to the conclusion that the RSX would be a perfect car for me because of it’s high quality ,small size, and because of how much fun it looked to be behind it’s wheel. When I go off to college and have the money, I plan on buying a better car for myself. Is there any car out there that is similar to the RSX that matches it in quality, size, and performance that I can look into? Any advise is appreciated.”

Just got off the phone with my copyright lawyer. “Bertel, how many times do I have to tell you that ideas are not copyrightable.”  “Yes, Sidney, I know, only the expression. But it’s a shame nonetheless.” There goes my last chance to get rich. What happened?

According to the pistonheads at Pistonheads.com, history goes into high RPMs again at Volkswagen. Due to the impending merger of Volkswagen and Porsche (which more and more looks like a takeover of Porsche by Piech) the company might need a new name. After all, Volkswagen-Porsche would sound unwieldy and would bring up memories of the ill-fated Volksporsche 914. Anyway, a holding company shouldn’t carry the name of one of its brands in its name (save for Ford, or Toyota, and many others.) The names of two brands in the name of one holding would be a bit too much. So someone floated a bright idea:

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A man who doesn’t spend time with his family can never be a real man. Piech certainly spends a lot of time with his family, however, they‘re seldomly good times. It has been a long tradition for the Piech and the Porsche side of the family to fight each other and the power struggle over at Volkswagen is merely an extension of that.

Before landing a part-time gig as an automotive test monkey, I cut my teeth driving virtual cars on Gran Turismo 4 (GT4). Developer Polyphony Digital’s attention to detail was startling. You could/can feel subtle differences between ostensibly similar cars, such as an ’89 and a ’93 Mazda Miata (hint: chassis rigidity on the older car sucks). Sure, GT4’s artificial intelligence was a joke. And the lack of damage was mildly disappointing. But it was a great game, except for the understeer . . . the terminal bloody understeer.

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Putting the “continuous” in “continuous improvement,” Toyota plans on replacing 40 percent of its senior managers and half the board members while reorganizing its North American business according to the Financial Times. Akio Toyoda takes over as president of his grandfather’s company next month and clearly wants to set a new tone at the top. “Some people are calling this a revolution or even a coup d’état,” says Koji Endo, a Credit Suisse analyst. “The size of the [financial] loss is huge. Somebody has to take responsibility for that.” Toyoda reportedly wants to bring back former senior executive Yoshimi Inaba, to revive its US operations. That effort could include unifying Toyota’s California-based US sales operation and Kentucky-based manufacturing unit under a single management structure, possibly based in New York. Under outgoing president Katsuaki Watanabe’s leadership, Toyota lost nearly $5 billion last fiscal year despite commencing an $8.22 billion cost-cutting campaign. Toyota lost $7.87 billion last quarter, beating out even GM for the title of biggest loser.

Ruwen Hess writes in:

What’s been going through my head is 2 trade-offs: Cayman S with or without PDK (with Chrono Plus either way) and BMW M3 Coupe with or without DKG. Beyond the obvious (cost but better 0-60 for PDK/DKG vs. more driving experience on a stick…), what are folks taking into consideration when making that trade-off? Would love to hear people opinions…

Commentator stephada picked PDK when he recently bought a Carrera, but our man Shoemaker was disappointed by the system. Twice. Lack of consensus? Whatever shall we do? More importantly, what say y’all?

Rick Haglund at MLive wonders aloud if the Chrysler treatment would be an option if it were a Chinese firm assuming the Fiat position. He’s been talking to pundits working on closer Michigan-China business ties, and they claim that a tie-up with a Chinese firm would be better for Chrysler than the Fiat deal already in progress. “They’re not putting in any cash, which is what Chrysler needs,” argues former AMC Chairman Gerald Meyer. And there’s no doubt that Chinese firms have cash. But, “there’s a xenophobia that’s clearly there,” argues Tom Watkins. And he’s right.

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With an estimated 44k vehicles sitting on the lots of the 789 lame-duck Chrysler dealers, Mother Pentastar is going all-out to move metal. Although record incentives have already failed to make rain, the DetN reports that ChryCo will be sending “millions” of $1K vouchers to previous customers. Chrysler marketing seems not to have heard of the “fool me once” adage. The move shows that “recognizing the value of our customers has never been more important,” say the spokesfolks. “Chrysler is open for business and welcomes the opportunity to remind its customers just how valuable they are.” And isn’t it nice to know that the Treasury agrees? Too bad everyone’s waiting for a clunker-culling bill to buy. And who knows if/when that will happen. Anyway, will a grand tempt current owners? More to the point, what dumped Chrysler dealer would turn down $1K off a listed price to anyone at this point? Or do you haggle a dealer’s shirt off and then bring out the $1K coupon after you’ve broken the poor bastard’s spirit? Color me terrified of the crippling depression that must afflict anyone spending time at a ChryCo shop.