Toyota’s third-generation Prius hybrid launches in Japan on Monday, with a European rollout scheduled for July, and already they firm has amassed 75k pre-orders worldwide. Of course, Toyota won’t confirm the number, which originated in a Nikkei report printed in Automotive News [sub]. Honda’s Insight has already become Japan’s top-selling car, the first hybrid to hold such a title. And all this despite oil and gas prices that are significantly weaker than a year ago. But, as GM is currently proving, pre-orders can sometimes be more trouble than they’re worth.

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If you’ve been following my travails on a new car, you already know that GM won’t extend my lease or sell me my Saab anywhere near a realistic market price. That ticked me off. So I was forced to seek out a new car. Looked at the BMW 328i Coupe and the Infiniti G37. Neither car was making my day. There are very few Bimmers with manuals (unless I wanted a stripped black sedan—price leaders for the dealers) and the Infiniti simply lacks soul.

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Hakan Samuelsson thought he had it all figured out. In 2006, the CEO of German commercial truck manufacturer MAN schemed to take over his former employer, and Swedish rival Scania. He had the banks behind him. VW owned 30 percent of Scania; they had to agree to the takeover. And why not? Volkswagen had no use for Scania, as VW’s commercial truck division only operates in South America. So Hakan Samuelsson made a deal with Bernd Pischetsrieder, then head of Volkswagen. Unfortunately for Mr. Samuelsson, he talked to the wrong guy. Ferdinand Piech, the person pulling the strings over in Wolfsburg, had different plans. . .

Ford is basking in its “last man standing” status this week as it holds its annual shareholder meeting. Automotive News [sub] reports that Ford expects to break even or turn a profit by 2011 without the help of government bridge loans. So confident are stockholders in the success of Ford’s current strategy that they have voted down reforms that would wrest voting control from Ford family preferred stockholders for the fifth time in as many years. This despite a $14.7 billion loss last year, and a $1.43 billion loss in Q1 of 2009. The good news? Ford has restructured its debt, reached a deal with the UAW’s VEBA fund, raised $1.6 billion in its recent stock offering, and its retail market share has “stabilized.” But there’s still plenty of work to be done.

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Bloomberg reports that General Motors marketing maven Mark LaNeve is set to announce that the bankruptcy-bound automaker will drop the axe on 1100 US dealers at noon EDT (16:00 UTC). The move is designed to reduce GM’s dealer count from 6200 to 3200. Don’t tell the MSM, but the news is nowhere as dramatic as it seems. First, the cull won’t—in fact, can’t—take place until after The General files for Chapter 11, where bankruptcy law trumps franchise law. As Bloomberg’s insider says, “GM is hoping for an orderly wind-down of the affected dealers over the next year or so.” In that sense, the pre-C11 dealercide decision is just for show.

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I’ve taken a lot of heat hereabouts for being so negative about, well, everything. And how dare I diss Ford? They’re the “good guys”: the only domestic automaker (out of three) that didn’t belly-up to the federal bailout buffet (if only because doing so would mean various Fords would have to surrender control of the family firm to, gasp!, outsiders). Well, sorry, folks, but here’s a prime example of why the Blue Oval Boyz are just as loco en la cabeza as the branding brains at Chrysler and GM. Feast your eyes on the Lincoln MKT, the blinged-up version of the Ford Flex. That’s the three-row, six-passenger vehicle that racked up all of 3,190 sales last month, barely cresting 10,000 since the beginning of the year. OK, so other than the luxury Flex’s cetaceous snout . . . am I the only one who can’t see beyond the utter hideousness of that “split wing grille”? Deep breath. Details after the jump.

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I love the way the Volkswagen CC looks. It’s a perfectly proportioned pastiche of everything I admire about BMW, Mercedes and Audi design. The CC is as handsome as the priced-to-fail Phaeton, only more so. Inside, the seats alone are worth the price of admission: firm yet endlessly supportive. The CC’s toy count is high, the price affordable. And, yet, something’s missing. Other than reliability. It’s that vital mojo that makes the Jaguar XF such a joy to behold, and the Mercedes-Benz CLS the ultimate boulevardier. Let’s call it . . . an automatic gearbox.

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The fat lady of ACEA (European Auto Manufacturers Association) has sung her aria of April auto acquisitions. If you just want the skinny (as opposed to the fat): sales in all of Europe are down 12.3 percent compared to April 2008. Four months into 2009, the market decrease amounts to 15.9 percent. Compared to the carmageddon elsewhere, this ain’t so bad. A closer look reveals a mixed bag of surprising champs and walking dead.

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You may recall that General Motors recently circulated a document amongst their paymasters on Capitol Hill “revealing” that they planned to import 17,335 Chinese-made cars by 2011. At the time, we speculated that the leaked “bailout bucks for Chinese trucks” memo was nothing more than a negotiating gambit by GM, designed to bring the United Auto Workers to heel. Play ball and we build here. After all, what else does GM have to offer, other than threats to up stakes and leave? That said, floating a GM in China trial balloon makes the company no friends, uh, anywhere. Especially with their most important stakeholders: customers. Anyway, Bloomberg indicates that the cudgel may have done it duty. GM CEO Fritz Henderson told them (yesterday) that “using U.S. production instead of imports would pivot on whether the UAW can build the vehicles at a cost GM can afford . . . This is a discussion we’re having with the UAW.” And so, today’s Wall Street Journal tells us that “GM Nears Crucial Deal With UAW.” Which could all fall apart.

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Well, the worm has turned properly on government intervention in the auto industry, as General Motors now seems to fear a government takeover more than bankruptcy. Too bad the choice isn’t either-or. Recent 10-Q filings with the SEC indicate that GM accepts the inevitability of a Chapter 11 filing, but describes the ramifications of a possible government ownership stake with fear and horror. “In the future we may also become subject to new and additional government regulations regarding various aspects of our business as a result of the U.S. government’s ownership in (and financing of) our business. These regulations could make it more difficult for us to compete with other companies that are not subject to similar regulations,” figure GM’s professional worrywarts. These still waters of paranoia run deep.

Poor “walk-on-water” Wendelin Wiedeking is getting it from all sides. Yesterday, he was the Jesus Christ of the automotive world. Only He could perform the miracle of having more profits than sales—two times in a row. The multiplication of bread and dead fishes is mere amateur hour compared to the unnatural act of turning sales of €3b into profits of €7.34b. But will the man be revered until eternity? Just the opposite is true: After bringing in the bacon, Wiedeking is being led to the slaughterhouse, squeaking for his dear life. And yet, Wiedeking’s troubles are just the surface scatter of a brutal family feud that makes the War of the Roses look like flower power. They even brought in the Feds . . .

According to ABC News, on the same day that Chrysler filed documents with federal bankruptcy judge Arthur Gonzalez to terminate 789 dealers, the bankrupt automaker is scheming to reclassify its top suits as Fiat employees. The change would allow the execs to avoid the bailout-related federal salary limit. “In documents filed in bankruptcy court, the company said senior Chrysler ‘officers’—the company’s top executives—can be considered Fiat employees ‘seconded’ to Chrysler, and therefore be paid by Fiat beyond the $500,000 cap set by the government.” The smoking gun: “Any such seconded officer may receive supplemental employment compensation from Fiat . . . notwithstanding any ‘cap’ on compensation payable to such officer . . . under any Law, rule or policy applicable to the Company.” The MSM is bound to take this story and run with it. Which isn’t going to help ChryCo on the forecourt or in court after dealers file the inevitable class action suit against, uh, someone.

Well, duh. I mean, there could always be a planet killing meteor strike or something. But I wouldn’t count on it. Anyway, GM CEO Fritz Henderson left little doubt that May 31 is all she wrote in terms of GM’s ability to forestall the end of its glide-path into bankruptcy. “It is probable,” Fritz told Bloomberg. “Any trip through bankruptcy court must be fast, Henderson said today. It’s also important for GM to be able to make speedier decisions,” he said. What IS IT with this guy and speedy decisions? More haste, less speed, Mr. Henderson. Alternatively and inevitably, step aside and let the Big Boys git ‘er done. Meanwhile, how long before GM is de-listed from the stock exchange?