Let’s see what comments this one gets: Seven Japanese companies have applied for the US government’s relief program for auto parts and materials suppliers of GM and Chrysler, the Nikkei [sub] says.

The program earmarked $5 billion in public funds to make suppliers whole who are owed money by the two artists.
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“G.M. is very different than Chrysler,” said Rahm Emanuel, President Obama’s chief of staff. “But I suppose the one lesson for G.M., and all the other players, is that this is a moment when a Democratic president said, ‘I am really willing to let a company dissolve, and there’s not going to be an open checkbook.’ There’s got to be real viability.” Huh? I was under the impression that this was the moment when a Democratic president said “I am NOT really willing to let a failed automaker dissolve. Uncle Sam’s checkbook is as open as a hooker’s gams. For the sake of political expediency, there’s got to be pretend viability.” Of course, it’s much worse than that. The White House has caught Detroit disease, where stupid decisions vie with no decisions for supremacy, leaving the status quo bruised and battered, but triumphant.

Even the most even-handed comparison tests reflect a specific set of specifically weighted criteria. Then there are those that aren’t even-handed. Car comparison tests don’t come much more tilted than the “Camaro vs. Genesis” comparison test in the June 2009 Car and Driver.

Seems like our old pal Jerry York is back in play. You may remember Mr. York as the turnaround expert, ex-ChryCo exec, rep for aspiring GM owner Kirk “The Lion of Las Vegas” Kerorian and former activist member of GM’s Board of Directors. It’s the penultimate of these which applies here: Captain Kirk’s main man tried to broker a deal between GM and Renault back in the summer of ’06. The merger fell afoul of then-GM CEO “Red Ink” Rick Wagoner, who’s now shivering in hell (albeit without any financial worries). Our sources tell us that Nissan wants to be GM’s Fiat. In other words, it’s looking for the US government to give it a controlling share in GM for no-money-down, putting Carlos “I told you so” Ghosn at the head of the unencumbered GM. I mean GNR (GM – Nissan  – Renault). This one makes a lot of sense. Uncle Sam doesn’t [really] want to run GM, and the Fiat deal will [they hope] provide a template for the GM – Nissan thingie. And, lest we forget, the maxim “everything either grows or dies” applies to both GM and Nissan. Hyundai-Kia just passed Nissan for sixth place in the US new car market.

Nikkei [sub] brings the cheery weekend news that Japanese new car sales are at their lowest level in the last 41 years of recorded history. Nipponese bought only 284,035 units in April, a drop of 23 percent on the year. Last month, the Japanese government launched tax breaks for fuel-efficient cars, but they kept consumers unimpressed and clutched to their wallets. Even sales of minivehicles, which had been strong for a while, got more diminutive. The Japan Mini Vehicles Association says they sold 117,670 units, down 13.4 percent. Demand for midgetmobiles has suffered double-digit contractions for two straight months, dwindling to an 11-year low. Scratch that as a savior. Got the stomach for details?

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And another thing. In this internet world of ours, what media outlet would announced the findings of a controversial report without linking to the damn thing? The BBC, for one. “The city’s air quality is well below EU targets and is having a ‘severe impact’ on the NHS, the London Assembly’s Environment Committee said. The research also found that emissions from diesel vehicles remains the main source of pollution. It urged the mayor to take more ‘bold action’ on the issue.” Why is it that whenever a political quango (or the media) calls for “bold action” I want to run the other way? Turns out the headline figure comes from here: “Government estimates suggest that air pollution contributes to around 1,000 premature deaths in London each year, but recent data from the European Environment Agency suggests that this could be closer to 3,000. However, both of these figures are estimations for London, based on calculations from UK figures, since the Committee is not aware of accurate, empirical data for London.” More specifically, here: “recent report from the European Environment Agency indicates that air pollution contributed to 650 deaths per million people in the UK in 2005. This could indicate up to 3,000 deaths for London based on its population.” Science much? Anyway, public transportation (i.e., busses) kills. Who knew?

More documents were filed in the Chrysler bankruptcy case. TTAC ace commentator and bankruptcy briefer, Toxicroach, gives us the 411 on the latest C11 maneuvers:

“Only four events today as of 5 p.m., only one of value. Either I misread prior docket entries or the 5/1/09 hearing was just to set a date for the real hearing, but the hearing on the emergency motions (first day motions is what they have been calling them) will be 5/4/09 at 10 a.m. I imagine it will be a zoo in Courtroom 523 this Monday. Still no bankruptcy ‘fast track’ 363 motion.

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We got a few “so what’s” a couple of wild-ass days ago when we whispered that Chrysler would be launching a new ad campaign using government funds earmarked for struggling parts suppliers. But setting aside the supplier screwing (yes, advertisers “supply” Chrysler, and with no production, why worry about components?), this means we will be treated to the launch of yet another New Chrysler. This will mark the second such dawning in just about a year. AdAge (via Automotive News [sub]) confirms the rumor, reporting that the responsible ad firm (BBDO, Detroit) also just happens to be Chrysler’s second-largest unsecured creditor ($58.1 million). And Judge Gonzalez still gets to decide whether the Mad Men will be paid out by the government’s “critical vendor” program. Anyway, the new campaign is being termed “educational,” with Chryco spokesfolks explaining “companies in this kind of situation need to communicate more rather than less.” Because sometimes having the President for a pitchman just isn’t enough.

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TTAC commenter Bluecon points us to Bloomberg, who reveal the identities of some of the 100-odd Chrysler bondholders recently described by President Obama as “hedge fund holdouts.” Yale University, Oaktree Capital Management and assets managed for the University of Kentucky, Halliburton, Kraft Foods Master Retirement and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation top the name-recognition list. According to that report, the government plans to ask Judge Gonzalez to let it pay the creditors in that group $2 billion, or 29 cents on the dollar, to end their claims. That’s an interesting strategy, considering the “not-yet-TARPed” bondholders already turned down an offer at 33 cents on the dollar. Let’s see how forcefully the government “asks” Judge Gonzalez to allow the cramdown. Or whether rumblings of a better deal materialize. (Image from Computational Legal Studies‘ amazing interactive map of TARP recipient campaign donations and the US Senate)

With TARP money, of course. Or so says our man on the inside of Chrysler’s bankruptcy proceedings. And apparently the holdouts will get even more than the already TARPed bondholders. Which means that although Obama may not “stand with” the “hedge fund holdouts,” apparently he’s OK with writing them a check for their trouble(d assets). Or maybe someone in the Treasury just made the connection: the only people who aren’t playing ball in this ends-justify-the-means “bankruptcy” call themselves “The Non-TARP Bondholders.” TARP money has made everyone else compliant with Treasury’s union, so obviously the solution is to buy out the holdouts with just a little more TARP. After all, does anyone think Fiat, the UAW or the already-TARPed bondholders would be embarking on this ship of fools if government cash weren’t paying the way?

Fate intervened. I wasn’t going to do another Chrysler product CC for a while, after the two recent Plymouths. But there I was tooling out West 11th, when I spotted this red Chrysler up ahead. When I finally got next to him at a light, I waved my camera and gestured if he would pull over for a shoot. A nod of assent followed. But he kept burbling along, and I began to wonder. Suddenly, he pulled into the Lane Memorial Gardens. How fitting.

Now that the no-money Fiatsco is (sort of) done and in the hands of the courts and armies of lawyers (what a reassuring thought), Fiat is fixing the sights of its lupara [see pic above] on another target that carries the ripe fruit of billions of government money: Opel.

“Now we have to concentrate on Opel,” Sergio Marchionne said in an interview with La Stampa. “They are our ideal partners.” (Reassuring thought #2: Chrysler must then be less than ideal . . . .) Reuters reports that “Marchionne coughed throughout the interview and admitted to being tired after months of talks leading up to the Chrysler deal,” giving rise to suspicion that Marchionne had contracted swine flu—an inherent risk when rolling with the pigs. Or it could be something worse than what a dose of Tamiflu could heal:

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Some Detroiters honest-to-God believe that Chrysler and GM will repay the money “loaned” to them by the federal government. That’s a leap of faith that would have taken Evil Knievel across the Grand Canyon (proper) and on to Maui. But you know what? In all this excitement, I’ve lost track of how many billions we’re actually talking about. I reckon the government’s to-date contribution towards keeping the zombies alive lies just north of $37 billion. That doesn’t include the duo’s share of the $25 billion Department of Energy retooling loans (should they live that long). Or the $5 billion blessed upon GMAC. And the $1.5 billion loaned to the now-defunct Chrysler Financial. Or Canada’s contribution to the kerfuffle. Or the cost of running a 25-member Presidential Task Force on Automobiles. And the phalanx of lawyers employed by same. And the community organizer assigned to help out affected communities with, wait for it, federal funds. And now . . . the rest.

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TTAC’s Johnny-on-the-spot, Toxicroach, is moving offices. But his efforts on your behalf continue apace. This is his summary for the yesterday’s (May 1st) legally action.

“I’m about to pass out and I’m really sore, so please excuse me for the late filing (mine). It doesn’t especially matter since nothing too huge happened yesterday. Chrysler filed the debtor-in-possession motion (download pdf here). The Govt. is offering $4.5 billion to old Chrysler @ 3% interest. That’s $1.8 billion upon the filing of the motion, the rest on approval of the motion. There are a ton of things, and I’m too wiped out to get into every detail (and I’m not sure most of the terms are really newsworthy or unexpected) This, however, is amusing (if you’re of a lawyerly persuasion):

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