This isn’t just me whingeing [Ed.: That’s “whining” for our non-Brit English speakers] about another Italian stallion that’s inherently qualified for Wrecked Exotics’ Lamborghini section. The “normal” Gallardo is a fairly benign beast. This one . . . maybe not so much. What say you? Meanwhile, here’s a “methinks they doth protest too much” spot-the-euphemisms excerpt from the $219,800 whip’s official press release:

Light-footed yet extremely safe

With this latest version of the Gallardo, Lamborghini is honouring its long-standing test driver in a very special way. The LP 550-2 Valentino Balboni was conceived in line with his own thinking, and it meets many customers’ requests for a model with a unique character, which offers a very special kind of active driving fun. The Balboni model is the only current Lamborghini that delivers its power to the road via its rear wheels alone.

Rear wheel drive has a special appeal to those sports car drivers who enjoy a particular driving style. Thanks to the eminently powerful V10 driveline, controlled oversteer is no problem – naturally always to the extent defined by the driver – because refined road manners and perfectly tuned assistance systems mean that the Gallardo LP 550-2 Valentino Balboni is an exceptionally safe sports car to drive.

A group campaigning to eliminate photo enforcement in Arizona has forced Paradise Valley to admit that it has been shortchanging drivers. A volunteer with the group Camerafraud.com discovered the city used illegally short yellows at the intersection of Tatum Boulevard and McDonald Drive. The motorist was mailed a red light camera ticket for allegedly entering the intersection just 0.2 seconds after the light had turned red. “I was nailed with a ticket at an intersection that left me very perplexed because I didn’t think I was going to get a ticket,” David K. wrote on June 16. “I thought I was close enough to the intersection to pass the limit line before the light turned red. Well, I thought wrong because the duration for the yellow light on a 40 MPH speed limit road was only three seconds.”

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I know I’m bit of a dog with a bone on this one. But the President Himself has assured bailout-weary taxpayers, both satirically and earnestly, that he doesn’t want to be GM’s CEO. His Presidential Task Force on Automobiles (PTFOA) has repeated the “hands-off GM” meme ad nauseam—even as they tighten their stranglehold on the bankrupt automaker, fail to fend off Congressional interference and prepare for the company’s nationalization. So when ex-CarConnection TTAC nemesis Paul A. Eisenstein asked GM’s CEO how long it will take the PTFOA to shit-can his ass after New GM’s formation [paraphrasing], I expected Fritz to keep his answer suitably vague. But OH NO. Fritz is so concerned about not appearing to be what he is—a bureaucracy-born GM slacker—that he had to get readers to pay attention to the man behind the curtain. “I have to prove myself. I’m on a short leash, but I’m not worried.” Oxymoron. Which is EXACTLY the problem with GM’s management and the government’s control thereof. [thanks to TMcA for the link]

The NYT dug through Abrams Consulting Group data on car rental prices, and it seems the cost of part-time wheels has gone up considerably in the last year. By how much?

In May, the average rate for a weekly airport rental of a compact car booked seven days in advance was $345.99, up a whopping 73 percent compared with $199.65 for the same month last year . . . In mid-June, weekly airport rental rates for a compact car averaged $347.44, compared with $210.38 a year ago.

Abrams Consulting blames falling demand, which has rental agencies cutting fleet sizes and jacking up prices. One example from the NYT piece is from Portland, Oregon, where personal experience proves that renting a car can be hilariously difficult. A recent attempt at renting a car mid-week here in Stumptown had me calling every rental agency in town before finally finding an available ride at the last agency on the list. One factor that the NYT piece doesn’t consider: falling residuals for the kind of fleet-queen Detroit iron that rental agencies used to cram onto lots. With resale bringing in less than it used to, it’s no wonder rental firms are trying to cut fleet size and bring up prices.

The LA Times reports that The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has granted California the right to set its own, independent CO2 standards for car and truck emissions. The controversial waiver comes with a proviso: they can’t toughen the tailpipe regs—de facto mpg requirements—until 2017. Which is no big deal, ’cause the feds have adopted California’s standards until that date. “It preserves California’s role as a leader on clean air policy,” EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson said in an interview. “It feels good to know that we are able to move past — address — this issue, responding to the president’s call.” Move past, address now, kick it down the road, satisfy the President’s pre-election pledge, whatever. Meanwhile and in any case, the non-waiver waiver is something of a relief for automakers . . .

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What demographics will win in the recent “Cash for Clunkers” legislation? Well let’s take a gander. In the cars section, all but the last two primarily appeal to folks that are north of the double nickel. Traditional Caddies, laid back Lincolns. Throw in some nasty old British hardware, a couple of misguided pseudo-imports (LS and Aurora), and the guido enriched pre-’92 F-body and you have the whole fleet. Also those who are into old-school Benzes and Q45s should definitely qualify, along with pre-1990s full-sized Detroit metal. But apparently Consumer Reports forgot about them. Oh well. So enthusiasts should get a couple of nods. For trucks?

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Fresh off its widely-copied “Assurance Program,” Hyundai is reaching into its bag of tricks for a new gimmick. And found inspiration in Chrysler’s 2008 gas-price guarantee promotion. Automotive News [sub] reports that Hyundai will offer customers who buy or lease a new Hyundai between July 1 and August 31 the opportunity to lock in a $1.49 per gallon price for gasoline for one year or 12,000 miles. According to research publicized by Hyundai North American President John Krafic, “40 percent of potential new car buyers were staying on the sidelines due to uncertainty over gas prices.” But Chrysler’s promotion didn’t save the farm a year ago when gas price anxiety was at an all-time high. After all, at three dollars a gallon, the estimated savings on a base, four-pot Sonata aren’t likely to top $725. Has Hyundai’s success at selling cars based on America’s insecurities peaked?

Not everything needs to come with a warning label. A bag of peanuts shouldn’t have “Warning: contains nuts” on it. You know what I’m talking about here. But when I shyly asked the infamous “Agent 001” of Autospies to be my co-driver for the next day’s 2010 Taurus SHO twisty-road press preview, perhaps I should have had excerpts from my “Maximum Street Speed” editorials stapled to the functional sleeves of my Gulf-blue Kiton linen jacket. Kind of a warning label, you see. It would have saved him more than a little worry the next day . . . To say nothing of the dry heaves. But don’t worry: Ford’s latest SHOmobile isn’t nausea-inducing. Unless, that is, you are sensitive to the odor of disc brakes when their pads catch on fire.

Curbside Classics takes you back to 1971 for a virtual comparison test of six small cars, based on (and partly borrowed) from a C/D test. Please don’t spoil the outcome, if you know it (the suspense has been building for over 30 years).

Was a car ever born with the odds so stacked against it? Its name is defined as “a small gnome held to be responsible for malfunction of equipment”. Its design was penned on an air-sickness bag during a (bumpy?) flight. It carries almost 60% of its weight over the front wheels despite being RWD. Its steering has six turns lock to lock. And it looks exactly like what it is: a perfectly normal-looking sedan that had its rear end amputated by a cleaver. The Gremlin would have had to create a pretty major malfunction in my PC (and C/D’s typewriters) for it not to end dead last.

The Washington Post reminds us that Uncle Sam’s chance of recouping taxpayers’ $50 billion “investment” in New GM shares are somewhere between slim and none. To recover the money poured down the GM rathole so far, not including “extraneous” bailouts to lender cum banks, suppliers, dealers and car buyers, the automaker’s stock must rise to the point where it’s worth $68 billion. And remain at the level as the feds attempt to off-load their/our 60 percent share. As we like to say in these parts, good luck with that. Or, as the WaPo puts it, “Even at its recent 2000 peak, GM’s stock was worth only $56 billion.”

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First, engine sludge in the Camry. Then, rusty frame rails on the Tacoma. Advertising Age (of all people) reveals the latest problem to tarnish Toyota’s solid gold quality image: the Prius’ HID headlights. A number of owners of Toyota’s green machine weren’t well pleased happy their high intensity headlights died after a few years. No surprise there; replacing them runs up a $1000+ parts and labor bill. Owners claim HID death is a “a dangerous but undisclosed safety defect” and that Toyota has “long been aware of Prius’ HID headlight problem” and is “concealing the problems from owners.”

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Will they or won’t they? First, the factory. GM’s announced they’re bailing on NUMMI. Bloomberg says Toyota may be considering the same thing. Once GM turns its door keys over to Toyota, the Fremont, California, plant becomes Toyota’s highest-cost factory and the only one manned by UAW workers. With other US plants’ excess capacity (including a mothballed Mississippi manufacturing facility) and lower operating costs, ToMoCo may well pull the plug on NUMMI. Problem: PR. Shutting down a plant in economically-challenged California (Toyota’s biggest market) and putting another 5K people out of work wouldn’t endear the Japanese automaker to the public or their politicians. (GM, of course, would get none of the blame.) Now about that GM – Toyota Synergy Drive deal . . .

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MediaWeek reports that Detroit’s “troubles” have put the hurt on Car and Driver and Road & Track ad bucks. “With auto advertising down 47.5 percent in print in Q1, per Publishers Information Bureau, the car books could use help. Through July, Car and Driver’s ad pages fell 20.7 percent to 451, per the Mediaweek Monitor (rival pub Automobile was down 34.1 percent, to 289). ‘Things have been paralyzed a little bit with what’s been going on in Detroit,’ [chief brand officer John] Driscoll said.” Understatement much?

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