When I entered Copley Place, the last thing I ever expected to find was a TTAC review. My trip to New England already having yielded material, the trip was already a success on that front. Yet, as I roamed the halls, ignoring designer label after designer label, destiny was slowly creeping up on me. At 2:15 PM on May 29th, 2009, I flagged the Porsche Design store. More specifically, I smelled it. The combination of pistonhead intrigue and olfactory delight was too powerful, and I walked in.

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The NYT Wheels blog reports that Judge Arthur Gonzalez has overruled pleas by consumer advocates and law professors by granting Chrysler’s request to exempt “New Chrysler” from any liability arising from “Old Chrysler.” Public Citizen, the Center for Auto Safety and Consumers for Auto Reliability and Safety have formally objected to the move on the grounds that current owners of Chrysler vehicles will have no legal recourse if they are injured because of a product defect. A lawyer representing these groups has said they will seek an appeal, the second objection to date to the Chrysler asset sale. According to testimony by Robert Nardelli, the idea of not allowing current owners to sue came up during the discussions between the Treasury and Fiat. Unlike the State of Indiana’s appeal of the Chrysler asset sale, this appeal has the potential to completely change the incentives for Fiat to take over Chrysler. If an appeals judge hears and approves this objection, Fiat could simply walk away.

I’m sick and tired of all the GM crap. Four brands will die. Boo friggin’ hoo. Nobody seems to mention that virtually all the cars are either cannibalistic shitboxes or uncompetitive black holes. I won’t miss them. In fact, I wish GM would take a whole lot of other brands with them to the pit of liquidation. For starters . . .

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Although Judge Gonzalez has so far given Chrysler-Fiat just about everything it has asked for, approval of the dealer cull still isn’t a done deal. The AP reports that: “U.S. Judge Arthur Gonzalez will hear arguments Thursday on the Auburn Hills, Mich.-based automaker’s motion to eliminate the franchises. Chrysler executives are also expected to testify. The motion was expected to be heard Wednesday.” In parallel actions, the Senate is holding hearing today on the very same issue. Again from the AP : “Lawmakers contend the dealership closings will put thousands of people out of work and offer few savings to GM or Chrysler, which have received billions in federal aid as they attempt to restructure and return to profitability.”

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According to Automotive News [sub], the Second Circuit Court of Appeals has granted a stay of Chrysler’s asset sale, pending a hearing scheduled for Friday. The stay comes on a motion (PDF) filed by the Treasurer of Indiana, Richard Mourdock (motivation found here) on behalf of several Indiana funds which hold first-lien secured Chrysler debt. A panel consisting of Chief Judge Dennis Jacobs, Judge Amalya Kearse and Judge Robert Sack will hear Mr Mourdock’s appeal on at 2pm Friday, delaying the Chrysler asset sale which has already been approved by Chrysler’s judge Arthur Gonzalez. If the appeal delays the asset sale past June 15, Fiat could walk away. The appeal follows the arguments of earlier “hedge fund holdouts,” making the case that government is overturning bankruptcy law and screwing secured bondholders to move the UAW to the front of the line. Only the state of Indiana apparently isn’t scared of the alleged government strong-arming that squelched previous bondholder opposition. Hit the jump for selected quotes from their appeal.

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Ford is starting to get pissed off at the feds for rewarding their cross-town rivals’ failure, taking bread off their table. On Monday, FoMoCo spinmeister Mark Truby pointed out that “If you’re competing against a company that’s majority owned by the U.S. government, that does raise certain concerns about what the competitive dynamic will be for the industry.” Translation: will Chrysler and GM use taxpayer money to keep customers from defecting to The Blue Oval Boyz (amongst others). Yes they can! The Associated Press reports that Chrysler is tapping into bailout bucks to launch a fresh round of incentives to keep pumping blood into the Auburn Hills automaker’s corpse: 0 percent financing for 60 months or up to $4,000 cash back on “certain” 2009 Chrysler, Dodge and Jeep models. Oh, and Chrysler owners get $1,000 loyalty cash towards a new 2008 or 2009 car. Yes, 2008. Chrysler says the promotion runs until July 1. At the least.

Well, that’s how the Freep puts it. So will GM be leaving the toilet seat down? Will it apply for a separate credit card to pay for its extramarital liaisons? Will it be hiding its Playboy inside the latest Economist? Want to clear this up for us, CFO Ray Young? “As a privately held company, it’s likely we’re not going to disclose information except to the shareholders,” says Young. “We do not have to file all of the same documents that we do when we are a public company,” clarifies Chairman Kent Kresa. All of which creates more mind-benders than Will Shortz on a weeklong acid bender.

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Chrysler may be headed out of bankruptcy, but it’s sales aren’t headed out of double-digit declines any time soon. Chrysler’s best performer? The Challenger, which racked up a meaningless 3696 percent increase over May 2008’s 71 units sold (per Chrysler’s official release).  That translates to 2,695 units sold last month. Also, Wrangler topped May ’08 sales by 34 units. 300 was down only 23 percent, Liberty was down only 26 percent and Ram only shed 21 percent. Otherwise, this was pretty much the monthly bloodbath routine. Aspen (-67 percent), Compass (-70 percent), Commander (-54 percent), Dakota (-76 percent), and Durango (-56 percent) all failed to break past triple-digit sales. Everywhere else, now-routine drops of 50-70 percent were the norm.

GM CEO Fritz Henderson has filed a deposition with the federal bankruptcy court [download here] pleading for a 363 motion that would create the “new” zombie GM from the corpse of old debt-ridden GM. “In the face of the global meltdown of the financial markets, and a liquidity crisis unprecedented in GM’s 100 year history, there is only one way to maximize the value and permit the survival of GM’s business and save hundreds of thousands of jobs associated with not only GM, but also its vast supplier and dealer networks: these chapter 11 cases and the prompt approval of the 363 Transaction.” While I don’t expect Fritz to say “GM has entered this crisis due to epic mismanagement of which I am a fundamental part,” it strikes me as odd that this blame avoidance arrives on page three. Isn’t it a bit early to say “it’s not our fault?” Apparently, early and often is the strategy here.

Last week, Maine became the fourteenth state to ban the use of red light cameras and speed cameras. Governor John Baldacci (D) signed into law a bill introduced by Representative Richard Cebra (R-Naples) that prohibits the use of a “traffic surveillance camera to prove or enforce a violation” of traffic laws. Cebra’s measure sailed through the legislative process with almost no opposition at any stage of the process. 

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TTAC Commentator Kericf asks:

I have a 1998 Isuzu Rodeo 4×4 with the ABS light starting to come on intermittently. The first time it happened I thought I heard a clicking noise under the dash like a bad solenoid. I had to replace the solenoid for my turn signals once and it made a similar noise when they would go haywire. A lot of forums on the Rodeos point to bad speed sensor on the rear axle, but if it’s just a bad solenoid that would be easier. The truck has 214,786 miles as of this email and I am wondering if I should also worry about rubber brake lines deteriorating. I can’t find any leaks but I don’t want to blow a brake line in Houston traffic.

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For the last ten years or so, the United Auto Workers (UAW) has pretended to make “concessions” to General Motors while doing nothing more than accepting pay-offs consisting of lump sums and promises to pay lump sums from fictional future earnings. Exhibit R: the fed’s recently promised $2.5 billion cash “top-up” of the UAW’s health care VEBA, ahead of other payment of other lump sums AND a slice of fictional future earnings. Automotive News [sub] reports that GM’s deep-sixed dealers are now playing grease my palm at wounded knee. “General Motors is offering some dealerships $100,000 to $1 million to wind down their businesses over the next 17 months, according to three sources familiar with the proposals.”
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The—mind you, tentative—agreement of Government Motors to sell Hummer to China’s Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machinery has people worried. No, it’s not the Americans who are scared of military secrets escaping to China. “The deal has observers in China worried,” writes Forbes. And worried they should be. The deal as it is makes little sense for a Chinese manufacturer. Especially for a manufacturer that has never built passenger cars. Tengzhong makes heavy industry vehicles, highway and bridge components, construction machinery and energy equipment.

What worries the Chinese is exactly what made GM so happy: According to the Memorandum of Understanding, Tengzhong will keep Hummer’s core management and operations team and existing dealership network. Reuters reports GM saying that “the buyer of Hummer would contract to build the H3 model SUV and the H3T pickup truck at GM’s plant in Shreveport, Louisiana — through at least 2010.” Why, oh my?
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The Alterman era is upon us.