There is a lot of funny money flowing to dealers: Holdbacks, incentives, carry-over-allowances, packs and countless others. All in the name of moving the metal. Did you ever hear of a car company that sent the dealer cold hard cash, and then sent it again and again, if the dealer just asked for more? No single car sale involved? Never? You’ll hear it now, in this week’s installment of the Autobiography Of BS ©. Also in this episode: On the inside of roadside assistance.
Webchatting on the FastLane blog, GM Reinventor-in-Chief Fritz Henderson wanted the world to know GM dealers don’t need no stinkin’ reinvention.
[Comment From Alfred ]
Mr. Henderson: what changes can we expect to see when we walk into a New GM dealer? What guarantees can you give us that customers won’t be mistreated and abused as before?
[Henderson]
I think our dealers do a fine job taking care of customers, and if you personally had a bad experience, you can let me know and I would ask that you look at another fine gm dealer. most research that we see indicate that gm dealers are by and large a real competitve advantage.
When TTAC received a copy of GM’s letter to dealers “asking” them to lobby against the dealer cull rollback bill, we blogged it as a “loyalty oath.” More than a few commentators said pish-posh [paraphrasing]; H.R. 2743 was nothing more than an SOP lobbying campaign. The fact that the letter told dealers to cc GM’s National Dealer Council Chairman Duane Paddock left little doubt in our (OK my) mind that New GM’s dealers were being told in no uncertain terms to toe the New company line (i.e. shiv their former colleagues). Automotive News [AN, sub] reports that “General Motors executives have been pressuring individual dealers to sign a statement saying they oppose legislation that would restore terminated dealerships’ rights, according to a U.S. senator, a dealers group and dealer representatives.” Point counterpoint after the jump.
Apparently, there’s no word for “yes” in Japanese. “Hai” means “I heard what you just said” not “I agree completely and will act accordingly.” By the same token, the word “no” lacks the Western sense of finality. So when Toyota used the opportunity of New GM’s birth to signal the media that it may close its GM joint venture in California, that means it may close its GM joint venture in California. Which is more than saying it definitely won’t shutter the UAW-staffed NUMMI plant, and less than saying it definitely will shutter the UAW-staffed NUMMI plant. Let’s check the official inscrutability index: “GM’s decision to abandon NUMMI and discontinue its production of the Pontiac Vibe have prompted a set of difficult and complex decisions for Toyota,” the Japan-based automaker said in a news release. “Under the current business circumstances, Toyota regrettably must also consider taking necessary steps to dissolve the joint venture.” Reading between the lines, NUMMI is toast. Unless Toyota decides otherwise.
“The last time we looked at [the G8], we decided that we would continue to import it as a Chevrolet,” Lutz told Automobile magazine. “It is kind of too good to waste.”
Frank Williams sent me the link to this Vanity Fair Maserati Quattroporte review. A small sample of Mr. Berk’s purple prose: “These guys were clearly not worthy of my Maser, and yet, there they were, all up inside him. I worried that maybe I’d come on too strong, or crossed a line with all those off-color jokes about his equipment. I tried to distract myself with a series of high-end tricks: a Benz, a Bentley, and even a Rolls. But I couldn’t stop thinking about my Italian. I felt like Dirk Bogarde in Visconti’s Death in Venice, but without the pedophilia, the moustache, or the bad white suit.” OK B&B, I’m trusting you here (with the usual vigilance and verification). No gay bashing comments allowed. And the usual strictures about flaming the website, its authors or fellow commentators apply. All that said, why does VF’s carmudgeon consider the Maserati Quattroporte a gay car? Mazda Miata, sure. But isn’t this review a gay take on . . . a car?
I could feel it getting closer. I heard the flat sixes at WOT nearby. I caught a glimpse of a lime-green race car flying by us. Martin and I were minutes from the one place I’d always wanted to go. I’d seen it countless times on Top Gear. I’d played it countless times on Xbox. And here I was, in Eifel, meeting up with Capt. Mike and Martin Schwoerer, about to turn videogame dreams into reality. To put it succinctly, there was no way the real-life Nurburgring could live up to my expectations. But it did.
The city of Edmonton, Canada admitted this week that 158 motorists were ticketed for driving at or below the speed limit on June 21. Because a mobile speed camera unit on the Whitemud Freeway at Rainbow Valley Bridge was set up improperly that day, the city will cancel or refund about $11,000 worth of citations, the Red Deer Advocate reported. The average safe travel and design speed of the Whitemud Freeway is 100km/h (62 MPH), but city officials lowered the limit to 80km/h (50 MPH), making it a favorite location to deploy mobile photo radar traps. On Sunday, June 21, a camera operator set the device’s trigger speed to 70km/h (43 MPH). The tickets were processed, issued and mailed without any verification that the settings were correct. When motorist Matt O’Daly received a $71 ticket in the mail, he remembered that he had not been speeding on that day. After he complained to the Edmonton Police Service, officials were forced to admit the error.
Wendelin Wiedeking has his deal with the Sheik of Qatar. The Sheik of Qatar wants to put down €7B for 20 percent of the Porsche Holding, and for their option package that buys the Sheik 20 percent of Volkswagen. “The deal has been finalized,” Automobilwoche [sub] heard from usually indiscreet German bankers.
The Sheik’s money would nearly wipe out Porsche’s debt load, leaving only €2B to pay off. It would also mean the end of more profits than sales through derivatives, and the end of Wiedeking’s dream to get more than the 51 percent of Volkswagen Porsche currently owns. Under the deal, the Sheik would own 20 percent of Volkswagen directly, and he would own indirectly 20 percent of the 51 percent Porsche owns. Still with us?
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Ex-Car Czar Bob Lutz has made the jump to hyperspace, joining New GM as . . . Car Czar. Of course, Bob can’t quite leave the Old School behind. More specifically, in keeping with CEO Fritz Henderson’s obsession with speed, he’s pre-pared excuses for failure on the forecourt. “There will have to be some form of economic recovery before any automobile company can hope to be profitable,” Lutz tells NPR. Perception gap much? Of course. All things considered, where’s the reinvention here?
This week’s YSE (Your Shitty Economy) Car of the Week: the 1997 Dodge Viper GTS. The recently reprieved snake is the epitome of unrefined excess. From the moment you turn the key, you know the folks in the NVH department were banned from the building. Starter button? Ha! Enter “Viper interior” on Google and the word “upgrades” appears automatically. And no wonder. For north of $80,000, Viper buyers are immersed in a sea of plastic fantastic—minus the fantastic. Even so, the cabin’s simplicity reflects the Viper’s sole purpose: to smoke enough rubber to make Corvette drivers limp with envy. With its V10 engine, harsh ride, gas-gulping fuel economy (10 mpg), hot exhaust and luke-warm A/C, the Viper is about as much of a daily driver as a cement mixer (to which the idling engine offers more than a passing aural similarity). Something for the weekend? In this economy, this 450hp, brake-challenged (upgrade that!), V-10 powered monster is yours for only $29,000.
The worst recession in half a century will be prolonged as consumers see their jobs go away and their home prices head south, economists Nouriel Roubini and Robert Shiller warn on Bloomberg. The University of Michigan index of consumer sentiment fell by more than forecast to 64.6 from 70.8 in the prior month. And it may be time for some foreign automakers to evacuate crumbling Cartago, their countrymen caution.
Suzuki reported a precipitous 78 percent drop in US unit sales in June. Their first-half decline was 60 percent, the market’s worst. Mitsubishi is down 51 percent this year. Faltering since 2003, Mitsubishi doesn’t have far to fall. Mitsubishi “doesn’t make cars that are hot-sellers in the U.S.,” said CSM Worldwide analyst Masatoshi Nishimoto with polite Nipponese understatement. Sayonara?
The official announcement was made earlier (see what happens when you play badminton with your daughter?). Here’s the memo sent to employees:
Dear Employees: Dodge is proud to announce the continuation of Dodge Viper SRT10® production beyond the 2009 calendar year! Originally slated to cease production in December 2009, the Viper business is no longer for sale, and the Connor Avenue Assembly Plant, the sole home of Viper production since 1995 will continue to produce the V-10 powered sports car. This is great news for our Company as well as for the dedicated team at the Conner Avenue Assembly Plant in Detroit who build this iconic American car. We at Chrysler Group LLC are committed to building great products that exceed the expectations of our customers and, over the years, the legendary Dodge Viper is the type of great product that has set our company apart.
Tennessee Highway Patrol (THP) troopers are punished for failing to issue a specific number of speeding tickets in at least one part of the state. Attorney Fletcher Long provided WTVF-TV with a copy of a memo THP Sergeant Clifford M. Babits posted on the wall of the Troop C station in Robertson County. “I can no longer justify fives on evaluations for troopers not producing activity,” Babits wrote. “I require three things. 1. Answer the radio, 2. Work your crashes, and 3. WRITE TICKETS. I take some of the blame for not properly motivating ya’ll in the area of activity. Overall activity last year (2008) was well below the district average… Because activity plays such a high part of an everyday road trooper’s requirement, it is going to weigh heavy on yearly evaluation scores.”
I once asked a priest about confession. What was the point? I knew Catholics who’d sin, confess, sin, confess, wash, rinse, repeat. “It’s not a ‘get out of hell free’ card,” he insisted. “Confession means you fully acknowledge your sin, pledge to atone for the harm you’ve caused, promise God that you’ve learned from your mistakes and change your behavior.” Let’s say you do all that and commit the same sin. What good’s an unrealized promise? “None,” he said. “I have refused absolution to repeat sinners because I didn’t believe that they were ready, willing or able to abandon their sins.” And there you have it: New GM’s recipe for disaster. Let us turn to the first sentence of New GM’s first press release.
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