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GM’s orgy of PR hype rolls relentlessly on with this video about America’s own volkswagen, the Bare Necessities Concept. After all, nationalized firms have to at least pretend to take on challenges other than getting folks into $40k EREVs and competing with BMW’s 3-Series . . . like competing with the Tata Nano. And for once the YouTube commentators get it right. “I already own this,” writes jeffseelig. “It’s called a 1978 Honda Accord.”
37 Comments on “What’s Wrong With This Picture: All Things to All Attention Deficit Disorders Edition...”
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I feel so old-fashioned and out of touch.
I never realized that 22 inch alloy rims were a bare necessity.
I can tell you that (here in Texas anyhow) that a damn good air conditioner is going to be a necessity because of all that glass area.
“Overwhelmingly, people really love the idea of bare necessity”??? – you can tell that even she doesn’t believe that horseshit given the way she ends the statement kind of as a question with a quizzical look on her face.
I simply hate upspeak!
Do these people actually make it through a design school and still talk so horribly?
A valley girl making it good?
And a scarf in doors always bugged me as well.
Less parts.
Lighter materials.
More efficient space management.
OK. But aren’t those supposed to be a part of every design?
What design team goes into a project wanting heavier parts, more parts and unefficient space utilization?
I never was much for “concepts” anywho.
Concepts smoncepts…let’s see what you can REALLY make, then sell.
You know a company is in trouble when the concepts start coming this quickly; it’s a hint that the actual, real new product is going to be thin on the ground. If any of this reaches market, expect it to be underwhelming.
I’m reminded of Mitsubishi, most notably the Eclipse. Concept: Hybrid-electric sports car with rear electric drive and Star Wars styling. Reality: Two-door Galant with bling.
So GM designers are now looking to Hyundai for design insight (the rear window cutout lower than the front window a/la Genesis coupe)?
#1: The designs look like ass. I know the eventual car wont look anything like this, but it’s not a good start.
#2: I didn’t hear “reliable” in this goofy video. If it’s simple and doesn’t include all the extras that people don’t want, it might be good to sell the dependability of the car.
#3: If people love the idea of bare necessity, why isn’t GM selling that car already? Oh…I forgot about the Aveo. How’s that working out?
#4: If, by some strange alignment of planets or a huge mass animal sacrifice, Chevy manages to make this car a success, you can expect to see an optioned-out version of it at your local Buick dealer for $10k more within 18 months.
Look, I now GM’s in a tough spot right now – especially with the TTAC crowd. If they make exciting cars, they’re screwed. If they make luxury cars, they’re screwed. If they make this POS, they’re really screwed. I just wish that some of the money I gave them would have been spent on hiring people who had a clue. Just because Tata is making a bare-bones car doesn’t mean that every other car maker needs to jump on board.
That said, the woman is kinda hot and I dig the accent. Does that count for anything?
Edit: I just re-watched the video and realized she doesn’t have an exotic accent. I guess I must have dozed off for a sec.
And I still think they’re freaking bonkers. “there are people who are willing to trade features for efficiency?” No, there are people who are willing to trade features for cost. Nobody goes to a dealership and asks for an AC and power window delete because they want a couple more MPG.
Well, yeah, it’s barely a necessity. Does it come with a hand fan? The second concept would make a totally cool body shell for the back half of a retro dirt track modified.
Lokki:
I can understand the reason for 22″ wheels and for the greenhouse..
22″ wheels give a vehicle a bigger stance, albiet on paper.
And expansive greenhouse.. has been one of Honda’s prime directives.. for.. EVER. Along with never building a RWD car or a V8.
Visibility is more important than body mass (even though their current lineup could make you feel otherwise.)
And I and hundreds of thousands of people own Accords and or Civics with extremely similar green houses. Its also similar with Beetles, Mini Coopers, Fiat 500s.. a slew of vehicles.
And if you noticed..
Its a BAD thing to have so much body mass and little glass.. makes ya feel clausterphobic. = Mustang / Challenger / Camaro. But that isnt the only design piece that I believe shouldnt have made it into production.
Wow, so it takes market research saying people want simpler “bare necessity” cars with fewer parts to get GM interested in making a simpler car with fewer parts?
The Japanese continually simplify construction and reduce parts counts just to make production more efficient and improve reliability. This ditsy blond wouldn’t even make it as a comfort woman at Toyota, she would be forced to commit Seppuku.
By the way, the woman sounds Canadian – listen to the “about”; it sickens me that this Canadian is working while this much more valuable to society Canadian is having a hard time finding work:
https://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/porn-star-savannah-stern-trades-mercedes-clk-350-for-her-parents-chevrolet-trailblazer/
And I think the guy with the fake French accent said that efficiency means “reducing the amount of farts.”
The one design looks like an ugly Fit, and the other has a front engine, RWD profile, which, for a small car, is very inefficient.
I owned something similar to the commentor’s ’78 Accord. It was an ’85 Jetta diesel. 50 MPG or better, no A/C, incredibly simple engine. It came complete with crank windows, manual locks and a manual transmission. I bet these cars will only be offered with automagics. The ’85 Jetta did have optional power steering, but I later had an ’89 Jetta with manual steering. Good times.
So what happened to the Beat? Can’t they build that and just decontent it? Toyota can show them how decontenting works.
And I thought she sounded Canadian as well.
the problem is you got three different spin meisters who seem to be in a competition to see who can say ‘efficient’ and ‘sustainability’ most times in the video
there’s lots of green wash but scant detail about how this car translates to the road
i don’t see a lot of lightweight intelligent design (not that kind!) coming from detroit any time soon
psarhjinian :
August 11th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
You know a company is in trouble when the concepts start coming this quickly; it’s a hint that the actual, real new product is going to be thin on the ground. If any of this reaches market, expect it to be underwhelming.
I would whole heartedly agree (I hoped for different) but while Ford is bringing out actual products (loved or not by members, thats not the important part), but actual real cars at an amazing pace, all GM has is concepts and are saying, “Hey Wait!!! just give us two-three more years and were going to blow you away, just wait, not don’t go” I think that GM was in such bad shape (I worked for a company that did alot of the development work on the 6 speed auto tranny, by the way Ford paid for the development, not GM, they couldn’t afford it, Ford decided that GM’s design was better so they paid for it, but that’s another story, but anyways GM was running out of cash in 2004), I think around 2006 they stopped basically developing anything that wasn’t cosmetic or was already almost complete and now they have a 5 year lag that will be almost impossible to make-up, they are going to try homerun vehicles (so what every division will get one great car surrounded by crap). I don’t see how they b/c anything more than a discount/second tier/chinese auto company, they will try for a while and will eventually give up on the US, they are already losing Europe.
You are all acting like GM ever expects to sell any of these “green” concept cars. The point is not to sell them to the public, but to sell Congress on the idea that GM can be their own little social experiment, just as long as Congress keeps the taxpayer money flowing.
I may not be the best with English, despite it being my native language, but I cringed through the entire video with “less parts”.
It should be “fewer parts”.
But I wholeheartedly agree with ScottMcG – when given the choice between gaining 1 mpg without air conditioning and having air conditioning for the sheer comfort, 99.99999% of drivers are going to take a/c if they can afford the extra dough. There are always a few hairshirt lovers out there, I’m sure (just glad I don’t have to sit next to them in my office…)
Damn. I just realized.
They’re talking about the two offerings which Government Motors is going to introduce after 2010 elections (assuming Dummycrats continue with their “winning streak” that is).
The Chevrolet Pelosimobile and the Chevrolet Obamanation.
Of course, the Pelosis, Reids, and Obamas of the world get to have bullet-proof BMW’s, Hummers, Gulfstream jets paid for by taxpayers, etc. etc.
while we’ll have these loverly POS’s without a/c….
I get the picture.
If you scroll down a few entries to the “What is Chevrolet?” video, the director of interiors for Chevy says that future customers “don’t WANT the base car, they want everything!”
Both of these chicks work in the same studio?
paulie :
I simply hate upspeak! … And a scarf in doors always bugged me as well.
+1. I never understood the artsy type.
Less parts – I’ve got it! They’ve finally found a way to measure quality and it’s got nothing to do with all that pesky six sigma stuff (too hard). Quality can be weighed!
With less quality the end product will weigh less and therefore be more efficient…
Let’s all put on our GM-manufactured hair shirts and begin the self flagellation….
paulie :
I simply hate upspeak! … And a scarf in doors always bugged me as well.
+1. I never understood the artsy type.
As there is a butt for every seat, there is a suitor for every Sally. Scarves indoors are hot… both literally and figuratively.
Pitching “bare necessities” to Americans, however, is just stupid.
Bare necessities? A Lotus 7 has the bare necessities. A ’48 VW Type I Beetle has the bare necessities.
Those cars have been legislated out of existence. A current car needs, by law:
Turn signals
Side impact protection
TWO tail lights
Air bags
Heater
Seat Belts
2.5 mph bumpers
ad nauseum
A really bare car will weigh 1200 lb. I figure this GM thing is around 2800lb, just to meet the laws.
I absolutely want to throw up when the people in ads are good looking, young, trendy, sexy, hip, cool, cutting edge, visionary, fashionable, environmentally concerned, and full of this week’s buzzwords.
Oh. And full of theselves, too…
And someone should remind them that a lot of their older, experienced, and wiser, ex-colleagues have been fired as of late.
Smarten up punks.
“Adobe, the little car of clay.” For a minute, I thought this too was satire. I guess Obama does have a hand in the day to day operations of this company. He is making sure that GM makes cars that the people want. Kind of like a Chrysler 300C. Oh wait, my mistake, that is the kind of car a HUGE hypocrite would like.
And someone should remind them that a lot of their older, experienced, and wiser, ex-colleagues have been fired as of late.
Anywhere I’ve worked, all the young people are contracted and kept sweating away, afraid that every eighteen months the sword of Damocles may fall on their neck. If there’s a downturn, either let the contract run out, or cancel it with a small penalty.
Meanwhile, the lifers all have pretty ironclad severance.
What are my bare necessities? Not buying your schtick.
menno:
It should be “fewer parts”.
+ 1 Billion.
Arrgggghhhh! And she repeats it.
How did this get by GM marketing – did they think it would sound hip? Or is Ms Tant that out of it, or is it some marketing thing (that the average GM customer won’t notice?), or we’re supposed to think she’s cool and not a ditz even if she sounds like one.
/getoffmydamnlawn
+1 eggsalad
My 05 xB seems to fit the requirements for ‘bare necessities’. And it happens to be green, too. And Toyota was ‘well-positioned’ to produce that car way back in 04, and earlier in Japan. I’m not buying that GM is ‘well-positioned’ to make such a car, when they’ve only got paper concepts with ridiculous 22-inch wheels on them. GM may well be heading into Bankruptcy #2 when they actually want to launch it.
Didn’t the Vega/Chevette/Cavalier/Cobalt/Cruze/Daewoo/GEO/Aveo/Nova(Corolla) fit the bill? Still can’t find the right combination to the cheap side of America’s heart?
Is the Cruze chopped liver before it’s even born?
Is this the backup plan for the pending Volt failure?
Will this beat the Hyundai Accent at its Accent-ness, which already has experienced multiple generations of refinement? Or the Ford Fiesta? Good luck with that.
I think it was last called a Geo Metro. Many of which were revived during the last spike in gasoline prices. Not because we liked them, but because we needed them.
People want as much car as they can get for the least amount of money. It seems this peep’s car does just the opposite, the anti-type of market economics. But we shouldn’t be surprised that Guv-ment Inc. has two new models that are powered by rhetoric, that’s what this is all about. Say the right green/eco clap trap to give everyone the impression that we’ve changed, and then let the UAW run the whole show. Oh yeah, they’ve changed.
As one poster mentioned, this is just a bit of GM CYA to make sure the czars and congresspersons continue to hear the right noises. Probably none of our duly elected ignoramuses will realize these pseudo designers are from out of town.
Second take:
Maybe they need to play “The Bare necessities” song from Disney’s Jungle Book” in the background.
Got to agree with 70 Chevelle SS454’s comment:
“The point is not to sell them to the public, but to sell Congress on the idea that GM can be their own little social experiment, just as long as Congress keeps the taxpayer money flowing.”
Yes, this car is to stroke the ego’s of GM’s government minders.
As has always been the case, a clean, better equipped used car trumps a bare bones similar priced new car.
To wit, a Corolla with AC, power locks and windows, nice ride and near 40 mpg highway.
Man..
They try and do a compact.. and it comes out like a horse took a shit called the AVEO.
Its boring to look at. Its produced by fisherfuckinprice..
It has the design credibility of a piece of KRAFT INDIVIDUAL SLICED PROCESSED CHEESE FOOD.
And its not useful.
Its not good looking.
Its not safe
Its overpriced.
I hate to bang on the DIE GM DIE drum.. but shit.
How is it that GM cant make a compact car that doesn’t look like a horse took a shit.
Honda and Toyota, (ntm that dirtbox company in the corner) Hyun/Kia actually make a decent compact. They also made / make a decent Minivan. Why cant GM make one.
Why cant they sell and market the Saturn Astra properly. Here is a perfect vehicle but it got rebadged. Same with the GTO and G8.
Simple.
Cause they don’t want to.
Cause their dollar signs in their heads only light up with they sell versions of the GMT800/900 frame.
Fuckin exec-turds couldn’t design their way out of a paper bag that resembled swiss cheese.
Why can’t GM just shutup and just build GOOD cars?
They are kind of like the guy along for the ride that won’t quit talking when you really just need a dose of silence or to listen to the news on the radio.
GM needs more “do” and less “talk”.
Good does not necessarily equal luxury in my book. I have driven plenty of good cars that were pretty simple. I had a mid-80s VW Rabbit convertible that I would label as very good. Mine had nearly 200K miles on it. Still plenty fast (120 mph top end), no problems, had a/c and heat, drove good, rode good, and looked pretty good for the era with a plus one steel wheel upgrade to fill up the fenders a little.
The car was pretty simple with manual steering, manual windows, manual locks, manual top, no alarm, no special HVAC controls, etc. Add 2009 safety equipment and the weight is going to bloat but the car could remain simple and desirable.
What continues to get my goat is that GM has these kinds of vehicles for sale TODAY in Europe and other parts of the world. Why do they continue to feel the need to reinvent themselves???
Take a look at the Opel Corsa. There is the basic vehicle they are going on about in the video – all ready to go.
Add extra soundproofing to give it a little extra quality feel, give it an engine that makes 100 HP and gets 40 mpg. Slightly better quality interior. I drive a car with 115HP that has a good amount of torque and it is plenty for an economy car.
Perhaps offer a basic-basic car and a car with some extras. Go the Honda route and offer two trim levels. Keep it simple.
I cringed at the “less parts” thing too … twice! Although lately I’m constantly hearing less used instead of fewer, in reference to countable quantities, so I’m not surprised it got past GM’s PR folks. Sadly, they probably don’t know any better either.
The car is a current gen Opel Corsa D. Just take a look and compare:
http://www.autoplenum.de/Bilder/P/p0022791/OPEL/OPEL-Corsa-1-3-CDTI-Edition–2006-2007-.jpg
They just gave it a different back.
Accords : “22″ wheels give a vehicle a bigger stance, albiet on paper.”
Well, maybe, but there’s a reason the first Mini and the first small Civics came with the little wheels they did: the bigger the wheels, the more interior room is sacrificed to make room for the wheels. Especially in front, where there needs to be room for them to turn, right in the same place where drivers like to put their feet.
Wearing a scarf around the office means you’re hiding either a turkey neck or a hickey.
Maybe she meant “lesser” parts. Anyhow, since when does the art department decide on how many parts something gets? Isn’t this for engineers? And a half-decent engineer doesn’t focus on the number of parts; he primarily focuses on the thing working reliably. Counting parts is for bean counters, so the whole message is actually saying “Our bean counters are still running the company.”
“Honda and Toyota, ntm that dirtbox company in the corner Hyun/Kia actually make a decent compact like the Minivan thats-now-canned. Why cant GM make one.
Simple.
Cause their dollar signs in their heads only light up with they sell versions of the GMT800/900 frame.”
GM would rather do two things: make “Hail Mary” plays a la Camaro, and sell what they think are proper examples of an American car, which in this case is an SUV.
Come to think of it, these SUVs are said to ride and handle very much like the Cadillacs of yore. Not that I would believe it — my sister’s Dodge Durango rode like an ox cart over railroad ties. But the things are big, said to be comfortable, and command presence thanks largely to their sheer bulk. And their classification means they get to skirt a lot of CAFE regs and only comply with rather lax ones for their class.
Put the CAFE hammer down by demanding at least 20mpg from these trucks, and watch the champaign come out their noses.
Meanwhile, GM has finally found what they figure to be an infinite source of green for the foreseeable future. All they have to do is suck up to Uncle Sam every so often and he’ll keep doling out the money to keep GM afloat, and more importantly, the executives handsomely paid.
The Volt is a suckup job. So are these concepts. The Aveo is mandated filler. And GM still finds it beneath them to build something as insulting as a “compact”.
If the execs could go back in time and strangle Robert MacNamara to death before he developed the Ford Falcon, they would.
“What continues to get my goat is that GM has these kinds of vehicles for sale TODAY in Europe and other parts of the world. Why do they continue to feel the need to reinvent themselves???”
Not Invented Here syndrome. Compounded by dealers and sales networks that don’t want to actually sale the things, because they won’t make as much money as they would pushing Impalas and Lucernes with landau tops out the door.
All I have to say is..
There is a customer out there.. who is only motivated by the firesales, cheap gas discounts, going out of business Gm dealer sales and basically any out-of-the-way-red-tag-sale that GM can generate.
The vehicles.. no matter how big or fast, expensive or new, really don’t sell themselves.
There are hundreds of thousands of millions of fuckers out there.. who only buy domestic.. cause its the cheapest most gutless gutbuster there is on the road.
Its green quality…
Its regular quality..
Its interior quality..
Its power to weight ratio..
Its ability to dominate market segments..
Its overall design prowess..
Its ability to seat 6-7..
Doesnt mean a fuckin thing.. just as long as there is cash on the hood.
Im also sick and tired of good cars coming to market.. like the GTO, Astra, and G8.. and the cars failing because of a hundred million other reasons.
Point is..
GM cant design good cars for the market that arent 5-6 passenger 4wd vehicles.
They cant even design enough compact sedans in a decent price range.. to be worth a shit.
Oh..
But they can turn out SUVS / CUVS / Lambdas (and claim how much better they are..