It’s been a while since I’ve written a General Motors Zombie Watch. Time keeps on slipping, slipping . . . into the future. Only when you’re dead, there is no future. You’re dead. Oh, I know: New GM’s got new plans for new cars with new advertising that will win new (old?) customers. And the new Board of Directors’ Chairman Ed Whitacre is busy threatening to fire New GM’s old (new?) execs if they don’t get their shit together. But they haven’t, as their farrago of product plans and the botched launch of the new Buick LaCrosse proves. In fact, the current crop of GM suits will be fired. And?

Fritz Henderson got a thumbs-up from the Board of Directors just days ago, but it seems that Chairman Ed Whitacre doesn’t want anyone to get comfortable. The Freep‘s Tom Walsh just posted a column describing GM execs as “rattled” by Whitacre’s recent revelation that at the New GM executives must earn their keep.

On Wednesday, Whitacre told a group of GM salaried staff — in one of several “diagonal slice” meetings, so called because they mix people from all levels — that he expects to see lots of changes in the next 12 weeks. Changes every day.

So, is the party over? Surely GM’s brass knew that there would be some accountability, someday. Right?

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Buick dealers are telling us supplies of the ballyhooed mid-launch 2010 LaCrosse have slowed to a trickle. In fact, several dealers report they’re out of stock. Needless to say, waiting on the first hypeworthy Buick in ages isn’t putting them in a good mood. Nor are the problems rumored to be causing the delays; it seems initial reports of electrical problems may be true despite GM’s denial. We are hearing dark mutterings of weird malfunctions. Specifically, opening a door while the hood is popped causes the dashboard to light up like a Christmas tree. You’d think that with “only” four brands, GM could get a potentially brand-rescuing product launch right. Or at the very least get the story straight. We done a ‘ring ’round’ to check on supplies, and we can smell the napalm in the morning on this one . . .

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As pro-bike protesters take to the streets of Toronto to protest the death of cycle courier Darcy Sheppard, a report from the CBC [sorry, no embed] reveals that Sheppard may have been intoxicated when he became involved in his fateful encounter. Cyclists’ anger towards former Ontario AG Michael Bryant could seem a bit misplaced if it turns out Sheppard was drunk and attempted to grab the wheel of Bryant’s car or put Bryant into a headlock. Ontario police say they are investigating both of these possible scenarios. On the other hand, Bryant has a well-established record of media manipulation dating back to his attempt to place harsh rules on street racers. Both sides are itching to be outraged at this story, but it might be best to get a few of the facts straight first.

[Thanks to James Frederico for the links.]

Ford previews its next-generation Focus C-Max. As a global product, it should be one of several Europe-derived models heading stateside in a few years. Maximum Bob Lutz could not be reached for maximum comment.

“What happened to the podcasts?” has been an increasingly common refrain in the TTAC mailbox. To which we reply, “it’s freaking summer!” Messrs. Farago and Niedermeyer have been too busy chasing across the country a supermodel in a Ferrari 308 GTS to do any podcasting over the last month or so. But now that the Wagon Queen Family Truckster is broken down, it’s time to get back to the grind. You think you hate it now, but wait ’til you drive it!

When Harry Zekelman died suddenly in 1986, his sons assumed control of their father’s Ontario-based steel tube company. In the course of two decades, Barry Zekelman and his brothers built Atlas Tube into the largest manufacturer of steel tubing in the world. In 2006, the Zekelman boys sold a majority stake in Atlas to the huge Carlyle Group, which then merged Atlas with its other steel company, John Maneely Company. Barry Zekelman became the CEO of the combined firm. In 2008, OAO Novolipetsk Steel, part of a Russian conglomerate, agreed to buy Maneely and the Zekelmans’ remaining interest in Atlas. In the financial turmoil of the past year, the deal fell through. Even without it, Zekelman’s not going to miss his next mortgage payment. He and his brothers made about $1.5 billion on the original agreement with Carlyle.

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kbb.com presents a top ten automotive list that is to PR what plastic worms are to bass: completely contrived and intermittently irresistible. “Ten Great Cars for 10 Different Jobs” is about vague and non-threatening a compendium as I’ve ever encountered in this genre. And you can’t fault them for adding the word “Different” “Ten Great Cars for the Same Damn Job” just doesn’t have the same ring to it. Oh look! There’s a Ford F-150! Quel surprise! Only this is the Raptor version for bounty hunters who don’t find their man inside a bar or roach-infested apartment, and want to tear the miscreant into pieces and eat him, presumably. “The kbb.com list is sure to provide thought-provoking transportation options for those in various lines of work.” Me, I’m only in one line of work: automotive truth telling. Well, that and comedy. And you’re in this with me, you bastards. So make the jump for five more ideas for career-appropriate whips. Correct us if we’re wrong. (As if.) As always, we welcome your suggestions.

Paul West of Mahoning Automotive Design is a tenacious guy. While most merely rolled their eyes at Cadillac’s front-drive “XTS” flagship plans, West wasn’t going to take Cadillac’s flailing sitting down. With Mahoning, D&D Classics and some promising industrial design students, he mocked-up an SRX-based study for a potential Cadillac flagship. “We did our best with the prototype,” he says “but only Cadillac can do the idea full justice.” It takes balls for a few upstarts from Ohio to show a major luxury brand how it should be preparing a flagship, and West knows it. But Cadillac’s inability to develop a true flagship, gives West’s study a significance that is more than just skin-deep. It’s a provocative, gutsy way to shake up the thinking at Cadillac. And if nothing else it’s provided plenty of food for thought. [West’s complete powerpoint proposal can be found in the gallery below]

I tell my kids, if you’re going to apologize for something, never use the word “if.” I’m sorry if I offended you” is not an apology. Audi of America Prez Johann De Nysschen is not, by nature, a word-mincing machine. Only now he is, ish, via Audi’s Facebook page.

An online report today, subsequently picked up by various other forums, left an unflattering sense of my feelings toward electric vehicles and the people who support their development. Let me clearly state that, in my opinion, electric vehicles will be part of the future transportation of society – but only if we go about it the right way. In fact, Audi is working on electric vehicles. I do not specifically recall using the term “car for idiots” during my informal conversation with the writer. It was certainly not my intention to leave the impression that I’m opposed to electrical vehicles, and if I was unclear on either of those points then I need to eat crow.

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Now that cash for clunkers has gone the way of GWB, used car values are plummeting in earnest. Last Monday, I visited three auctions in the metro-Atlanta area. Sale number one was without their two heavy hitters and prices were down a solid 10% across the board. 2008 Land Rover Discovery HSE with TV’s and 30k miles? $32,000. A few weeks ago it would have been closer to 36k. Sale two had fewer buyers than any time since November 2008. An immaculate 1991 Chevy Suburban with 142k went for only $700. A 1998 Trooper? $500. A 1997 Avalon with only 43k original miles and dealer maintained? That was the surprise. $5700. Tthat one was a dogfight, though, and it was one of the very few.

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Ted M. writes:

I have a 2005 Dodge Magnum RT with about 60,000 miles. Recently, I’ve heard a rattle or persistent clunk that sounds like its coming from the rear passenger side. I cleaned my car out to make sure there were no errant projectiles rolling around, but it still persists. Then I began to notice that it usually happened when I was turning left and accelerating up hill at the same time. I don’t hear it at speed on the freeway, or even turning left on a level or downhill grade.  Every once in a while I hear it over violent bumps in the road, but not always. I’m taking it to the shop in a week or so, but I’d like to hear from you and the Best and Brightest about what it could be and what I should have them check.

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Now we know why China is at the forefront of alternative energy propulsion:

For oil, China is at the mercy of unstable places and easily disruptable shipping routes. The Middle Kingdom is the second-largest oil consumer in the world (behind the United States). China imports about half of its oil, making it the third-largest net oil importer in the world behind the United States and Japan.

When it comes to dysprosium and terbium, China is in a much better position, called a quasi-monopoly.
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Law enforcement agencies in Washington will no longer be able to confiscate automobiles from innocent vehicle owners thanks to a ruling handed down yesterday by the state’s highest court. The Supreme Court of Washington ordered the return of a 2004 Nissan Sentra and a 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle that the Snohomish Regional Drug Task Force had grabbed from the parents of Thomas E. Roos, 27. Problems for the younger Roos began when he was first caught on June 10, 2005 driving in the Nissan with illicit drugs and a lot of cash. The Nissan was impounded, but Roos was able to forge his father’s signature to retrieve it from the lot before his parents found out. By September, he had been arrested three more times and the task force had permanently confiscated both cars.

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