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One month ago DARTZ presented uberluxury armored car with whale penis interior – PROMBRON’ (ex.RussoBaltique), lot of people name this car as DARTZ.KOMBAT. As the world’s resonance was very huge and DARTZ got lot of angry e-mails from Greenpeace, WWF and also Pamela Anderson, DARTZ make strong decision to stop their plans regarding such interior.“We have no any ideas to kill the whale or something like that. All we want – to make just luxury car. Real luxury car which will be world number one car. Our brand was started at 1869 when in Riga was opened Coach Factory or Russo Baltiysky Vagonnij Zavod – PBVZ, and first products was luxury train coaches. At 1907 was made a decision to open Car Department, and at 1909 first car left factory – the name of this car was RussoBalt. This was luxury and sport cars. At 1911 specially for Monaco Rally car got french style name – RussoBaltique. At 1912 factory made world first 4 x 4 wheel drive car, and at 1914 – armored car. All we want to unite luxury and armoring traditions of RussoBalt factory in one car, which brand celebrated 100 years now. At 1922 RussoBalt was renamed to PROMBRON’ (ex.RussoBalt).We just looking for most expensive products for this car – and that’s why we choosed whale penis leathure when we checked it is most of most. After wave of protest we realised our mistake and make a decision not to use natural leathure at all. We will focus on world most advanced nanotechnologies to achieve interior highest quality using artificial materials which also was never used for cars. We want to tell our hello to all whales: “Our Sea Brothers! We all know that earth are stand on three whales – we will keep You live! We don’t Earth fall down to Ocean!”Also we make a decision to pay more attention to glass and on our new car model we will use glass which will be made by special technology – from artificial grown chrystals, which will be gold sputerred to cut IR and UV rays, which make driving inconvinient when sun shine.Best regards,Leonard F. Yankelovich
[thanks to Jameslist.com for the heads-up]
13 Comments on “ARMORED CAR WITHOUT PENIS. LET’S SAVE THE WHALES. [Actual Press Release]...”
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I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Really though, there’s something terribly entertaining about seeing the manufacturers of such a manly vehicle voluntarily hand their balls to “Greenpeace, WWF and also Pamela Anderson.” I think we could probably get enough people to complain about the carbon footprint to make them switch to a Prius powertrain.
Cum Again???? I no understand what about whale thingie???
Geez … can’t even write a proper press release!!
Not exactly clear what’s going on here, except that Pamela Anderson is on the case and whales will apparently be keeping their schvantzes.
Did Borat write that press release ?
I just hope they are still planning on releasing the special “Dennis Leary” edition, with fully functional whale skin hubcaps, all leather cow interior, and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights… hard to find options like that on modern cars anymore.
Penis compensation taken to a new level.
“WITHOUT PENIS” is a perfect description of this monstrosity’s prospective clientele.
As to the press release, I am thinking Mr. Yankelovich is need to lay off vodka when releasing the press.
That is just precious.
“We want to tell our hello to all whales: “Our Sea Brothers!””
Was that written by Borat?
I like this car. Does it have a third row? Will the third row come in whale penis or is that vinyl? Latex? Will the whale penis be heated? Vibrating option?
Here’s hoping it passes federal scrutiny so they import it.
Incredible! There really is a penis Pamela Anderson won’t sit on.
^^^^ pista wins the internets!
“Terrible news, to have to make cancel most special Moby Dick edition.”