By on November 25, 2009

Thank goodness for Autoweek. Someone has to ask the goofy questions that turn internet forums into raging wildfires of obtuse wishful thinking, and A-Dub is there to lay it all on the line. The latest episode centers around a line from Ralph Gilles’ press release on the new Viper ACR:

When we have partners across the ocean who are known as the best sports-car makers in the world, the future opportunities are huge

Which is like giving a two-thirds of a through-the-clothes handjob: just plain mean. If disappointment undimmed by crushing obviousness isn’t your thing, skip the next bit.

The wave of AW’s enthusiasm crashes upon the rock of Gilles’ indifference:

The future opportunities for what–a Ferrari V12 in a Viper body? A Viper V10 in a Frankensteined 612? What? You could go insane imagining the possibilities. So we spoke to Gilles directly and asked whether there would be any cross-engineering or parts-sharing to the extent our overactive imagination imagined there might be. We asked about a Ferrari Dodge Viper.

“No,” he said in about as definitive a tone as car execs ever get.

Then what did he mean by the “opportunities are huge?”

“They really know sports cars. We just want some advice,” Gilles said.

But wouldn’t a Ferrari Viper be cool, regardless?

“Ferrari is Ferrari, Viper is Viper,” he said. “Please don’t go there.”

OK.

Sigh. Those regrets must keep Gilles up at night. But all is not lost:

We did get these exciting tidbits about the Dodge Viper: there will be a new graphics package! New stripes! And a new color–Anaconda Green! Also, a new interior for the 2010 Viper will be launched at the Los Angeles auto show.

Also, the Viper can now hit 184, but a new Nürburgring record “isn’t a priority.”

The Viper ACR did solidly spank its alleged cottage cousin, the Devon GTX, around Laguna Seca with an unofficial time of 1:33.944.But it wasn’t just about showing up Devon’s 1:35.075 time, Dodge was out to humiliate the upstart firm that offered Chrysler a cringe-worthy $5.5m for its Viper brand in the (even relatively) bad old days before bankruptcy. Revenge tastes sweet, but unofficial lap times at Laguna Seca will not turn Mr Gilles’ brand around. Unless the plan is to replace the Ram logos on Dodges with a million Vipers. Make Dodge the Viper brand. But now I’m treading into AW’s territory. And really, it’s almost not their fault. Look at Gilles’ entire Dodge brand presentation [PDF] for yourself and see if you can figure out what the hell is going on there.

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14 Comments on “Sorry Viper Fans, No Ferrari-Crossbreeding For Thanksgiving...”


  • avatar
    twotone

    I would not buy one, but would love to have it for a few laps on track day. Looks like Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride!
    Twotone
     

  • avatar
    no_slushbox

    Awesome, Maserati could build a new body for the Viper in Italy, and the Maserati bodied Viper could be sold as the Chrysler SRTC-10 by Maserati.

    Drivetrain sharing would be a disaster, but a little bit of Ferrari’s work on the Viper’s interior wouldn’t hurt at all, and Ferrari could possibly let the Viper in on Ferrari’s Delphi Magnaride license.

    However, what Fiat really has to offer Chrysler is its proprietory knowledge of how to get a government (Italy in Fiat’s case) to keep bankrolling a failed, unreliable car making, teat sucking automaker’s niche sports cars.

  • avatar
    another_pleb

    I’d just like to say that I’d like to see what a Ferrari F1 car would look like on the Corkscrew at Laguna Seca. It looks like a much more suitable venue for F1 than Indianapolis.

    • 0 avatar
      James2

      +1

      F1 needs to come back to America –and to a real racetrack.

    • 0 avatar
      Spike_in_Irvine

      I watched the Toyota F1 car break the lap record at Laguna Seca every lap it ran a couple of years ago during the Rolex classic car event themed for Coopers. It was awesome to watch.

    • 0 avatar
      MBella

      Agreed, but unlikely. Laguna Seca is a very exciting ractrack, and that doesn’t work in Bernie Ecclestone’s F1.  He’s going to keep pushing out classic exciting tracks in parts of the world were people like attending races, and building really boring one’s by Hermann Tilke in places where they can’t sell 8 seats like Turkey or China.

  • avatar
    therealtruth

    The Viper ‘ACR‘ can now hit 184.  The ‘regular‘ Viper coupe can hit over 200 mph due to less downforce at speed. 

  • avatar
    therealtruth

    “Sorry Viper Fans, No Ferrari-crossbreeding for Thanksgiving”

    Precisely the reason to give thanks.  No Viper fan/owner would want this…. 

  • avatar
    Stu Sidoti

    …and the point of this whole exercise is?!?!? Anyone? Bueller? Gilles?  Anybody?
    What a waste of time…Chrysler is currently hiring hundreds of engineers because after all of the cutbacks of the last two+ years, their R&D cupboard is nearly bare. Yet, instead of being back in Auburn Hills working on new designs and leading the new guys and gals on the new projects, these folks here find it useful to spend time ‘reclaiming’ some record that nearly no one cares about from a car company that has no dealers, and has not sold a single road-registered car. To anyone. Anywhere…talk about a hollow victory.
    Meanwhile Ford, GM, Honda, Hyundai, Nissan and Toyota’s chief designers and engineers are busy refining their bread-and-butter compacts, sedans and people movers and doing a pretty good job of it, especially when compared with Chrsyler’s Sebring/Avenger disasters…Anyone smell Rome burning? …because I sure do see and hear a lot of fiddling going on here…

  • avatar
    PeteMoran

    Pfft, where is the LF-A time?

  • avatar
    Stu Sidoti

    Ah-hah.  After a little digging, I now see the point of the exercise. Chrysler is planning to showcase this record-setting car at the LA Auto Show and wanted to set the record at Laguna as part of that promotion. I believe the real purpose is to try and gets tongues wagging about the Viper again and  create a little buzz and sizzle about the record. However I think the primary purpose of this effort is to ‘call out’ the new FIAT management and force them to make a decision about the future viability of Viper.

  • avatar
    John Horner

    Gilles got his job done. Here we are talking about the Viper. Mind-share is a big deal in today’s world and the likes of Gilles stay awake at night trying to get a little more of it. Mission Accomplished.

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