Last weekend we got to know what car you are. Not surprisingly, we have quite a range of personalities in the TTAC parking lot: everything from a MB (Grosser) 600 to a Toyota Echo 2 door. Now we get to know about the big love (or ex) in your life. That’s a bit trickier, especially since mine reads everything here religiously. I thought hard about the Nissan Pao, because its trim size and distinctive and quirky aesthetics certainly work. But the Pao is too underpowered, and strictly a city car. Fun to look at, but no go. So it’s a toss up between a Mini Cooper S and the Fiat 500 Abarth. I have to give the nod to the little Italian, even though Stephanie is more of an Anglophile, for two reasons: The Mini is too common, and the Abarth is an unknown. Stephanie and I fell in love on Thanksgiving weekend 32 years ago, and were married the following January 7th. Hows that for taking a flyer? Just like buying the first hot-rod Fiat 500 that arrives on these shores.
Ex-wife? Like a finicky Italian exotic, WAY too high on the maintenance, in fact I hardly ever got to “drive” her, and we were married for 10 years. To make matters worse, by the end she had a body like a used truck.
Current girlfriend? Sexy sporty little thing, very dependable, forgiving, and easy on the eyes. Let’s see, does that make her a 2nd or 3rd generation Mazda Miata? If I was really witty and more knowledgeable I’d come up with a sport little car with parts sourced from EVERYWHERE. She’s part Japanese, part Navajo, part Mexican/Spanish, and there’s supposed to be a little bit of Hopi in there somewhere.
My wife would be a Honda NSX, if you know what I mean….
Possibly a VW Eos, black on black. Small and nimble, yet a bit heavier than necessary. Nice lines, and not much bling, except for a bit of silver adornment. Looks good topless and is lots of fun to drive. Maintenance might become a bit much over time. But hey, I’ve always had a weakness for VW’s.
Oh, man… I predict lots of TTAC’ers sleeping in the doghouse tonight… or would that be the garage!
But I’ll bite. My ex: A Vanagon Westfalia. Low output. More a lifestyle statement than a practical vehicle for living. Hauled around a load of smelly dogs. Now living with an old hippie.
Hmmm
As much of car news I read.. and the two of us so drastically different…
She loves some domestic (read: Ford) meat.. but only prefers a Mustang. Shes not a driver, more like a cruiser, so I dont see her rowing her own gears or really thrashing that car. Then again, I keep baiting her with a Focus CC… prob stickering for 29-30g.
’65 Mustang: long in the tooth, remembered more fondly than the performance actually deserves, but still gives me a thrill everytime she’s seen
Definitely a convertible, a very well preserved large domestic pony car convertible from the 60’s that goes fast when you need it, and looks good with the top up or down. It’s maybe a little heavier than it needs to be, with a nice soft wallowy suspension, but if you rev it up and let it go, it’s a wild and crazy ride.
Still looks good, good enough to turn heads on the street, and I’m always proud to squire it around.
Oh, the horror, the horror… My ex has just has to be a Maserati Biturbo Spyder. It was a passionate relationship, the best sex I’ve ever had, she had style, a sense of fashion, and she was the centerpiece of any conversation. But in the end, I figured she really wasn’t that special, on top of being impossible to live with and outright evil. Of the four years we were together, it took two years just breaking up. Passion can be addictive. The Spyder should suit her just fine, almost like an Italian suit. A glorified 3-series contender, it ain’t no Mistral, Ghibli or Khamsin. Low initial cost but high maintenance, in the end really not worth the bother, unless you have a compulsive fad for being let down.
Though, I’m getting tired of psycho-bitches. What I want in a woman is somebody who is natural, funny and easy to live with, on top of being drop dead gorgeous and willing to have sex all the time. But, most important, somebody who is nice to me. The question is, if there ever was a woman like that, what kind of car would she be, so to speak?
Now a F/A 500 is definitely true to the ‘tude of the original Mini Cooper
The Tesla Model S.
Because, you see, my girlfriend is also imaginary.
My ex was interesting to look at (beauty would have been in the eye of the beholder), very fast when running, twitchy handling, impossible to control at speed, utterly unreliable and, in the end, viciously bit me for no apparent reason. Also extremely expensive to get into and sold at a massive loss. I think a lot of Italian supercars fit that description.
I’m looking for a woman who’s more like my Exige: just the basics, fast enough, easy to handle, predictable at the limits, unique looks.
Reminds me of when I was in high school, our building custodian said his wife was like a snow mobile; because had to spend all his money and work on her all day so he could go for a five minute ride.
Mine would be an Allard J2, it has all that wonderful British quirkyness with a true blue American heart; she’s never dull, always honest and is a hell of a lot of fun.
The last girlfriend I had before I met my wife was a red 1959 Plymouth Fury. Do I need to elaborate?
My ex is a Subaru, extremely reliable, utilitarian, good in snow, etc. She drives Subarus, but she’d be one even if she didn’t.
Another, long ago ex would be a British roadster, damn good looking, excellent, uh, handling, wonderful scent, and very unreliable.
Paul, I’m guessing you met Stephanie on that fateful txgiving weekend, but from the way you worded this, for all I know you might have met her years before that. Please clarify.
We met in September of that same year. She was my landlady’s daughter. I couldn’t pay the rent, so…
Ingvar,
I’m afraid that the number of cars and women who meet all your criteria are extremely limited. If you would settle for good-looking, the numbers would go up exponentially.
I know it when I see it. I guess I’m looking for that “indefinable something”. It’s not something you plan, it’s something that happens. And it happens because any other possibility would seem impossible or ludicrous. I mean, I’m the proud owner of a Citroen DS, that kind of passion is not something you choose, it choses you. The Goddess put a spell on me… I actually just woke up one morning and figured I had to get me one of those, and then I did. I don’t know where that notion came from, I just know that my desire was to big to resist. Now, if only I could find a woman that could inspire those kind of longings…
Hmmm, not sure what the best fit would be.
Something with timeless design and very well preserved for it’s model year, with all original bodywork and paint that still cleans up really well. Mechanically sound and reliable, but gets a bit shaky when driven at highway speeds, which makes you think everything is going to fall apart, but never quite does.
A Honda Accord across the generations. She started out lightweight and lithe, but over time has become quite a bit larger. Always dead reliable, and still fun to drive.
Come to think of it, because whe have been discussing on the subject before. But it seems that the passion for cars and the passion for partners goes hand in hand. So, why is that? And what does it mean?
I don’t know what it means but I have seen many people (men especially) who when they have passion they bring it to MANY parts of their lives. I am passionate about my career, my woman, my vehicles, and my cigars, but not necessarily in that order.
Lessee, the most recent XGF was a nasty/delightful amalgam of her Firebird and her 7-series.
Fast, drew attention from all the wrong people, boatloads of way over the line fun, very expensive to fix when things went wrong.
Ya pays yer money, and ya takes yer chances.
The new GF is more of an AMG Benz – Better read, situationally appropriate more places (able to pull off a Rob Zombie concert as well as the symphony), and fully capable of getting you into all sortsa interesting situations. But only if you want to.
Current wife of 15 years, Volvo C30, persistent, attractive, slightly unusual, smaller than average, makes me smile. Second choice, BMW 128i, or maybe a Maserati Quattroporte, but she is too small to match it visually
ex wife #3, Jaguar XK, sexy but undependable and high maintenance
ex #2, Ford Maverick, generally reliable, reluctant to perform, and stuck in some Michigan time warp
ex #1, Trans Am Turbo, wild ride, low refinement, with heavy front weight distribution
As Robert Palmer sang ‘ she’s so fine, I dont know where all the money went ‘; applies to women and cars in similar proportion.
The ex would be a ’89 Caprice. Simply a regrettable pig in every way imaginable.
The current wife would be a low mileage ’04 Rubicon with six inches of lift, and able to do anything, at anytime.
Beep! Syntax Error. I can’t answer the question, for I don’t know of any indigenous Hungarian automaker. I’d say “A Tatra T603″—it’s long and unusually proportioned, and most people think it’s freakish and funny-lookin’, but it’s soundly engineered and the more you get to know it the more interesting and funky-in-a-cool-and-quirky-way you discover it to be. The trouble is, the Tatra is Czech, and the Hungarians loathe the Czechs. If he were to catch me comparing him to anything Czech, I’d be sleeping in the car tonight. So for the record, my other half is most definitely not a Tatra T603.
My ex girlfriend would have been a Pontiac Fiero. Was quite the little spinner. Mostly attractive yet funny looking from some angles. She tended to be unreliable and if you weren’t careful you would get BURNED.
My ex and my dually have much in common. They are both good at taking my toys away and their asses are roughly the same size.
It’s gona have to be something that grows on you.
No, really. Like a parasitic Nissan Micra.
My wife started as a 84 Mustang and now she is an F150. My ex is an 85 Audi Fox who became a 5000…sudden acceleration syndrome and all. Who knows what she is now.
Ex would have to be a older Dodge Viper. Sexy as hell, ridiculously fun to play with on the track, but high upkeep and anything that rubbed her the wrong way sent her into a snarling fury capable of snapping and killing you at a moment’s notice.
… why yes, she was a redhead, how’d you know?
Wife would be a Miata (before the giant dopey grin, that is.) Cute as can be, loves to have fun, but unlike the Viper she’s reliable, dependable, doesn’t need a fortune in upkeep, and is perfectly wonderful car to have on a day-to-day basis.
Plus she looks great topless too.